Nothing is wrong with wanting that. Sounds like a great topic for a men's therapy group.
But when you are 86, you might look back and wish you hadn't put your life on hold over not having it, and wish you were 46 again, with a chance to tailor your approach to living. That's just a guess though right? How can we imagine taking care of our future 86 year old selves? On the other hand, our older selves deserve it. You deserve it.
Also, there are some very nice escorts that might be willing to explore your feelings. I'm not a medical professional. I'm just brainstorming here. Might not be your thing.
Lastly, give yourself permission to stop watching MSNBC, since you mentioned it. Washington Post will give you a sample of what's going on without the stressful hype of MSNBC. Seriously! I'd encourage subscribing to WAPO and turning off MSNBC.