I'm not the one to label anyone but to me your scenario runs the gammit of bi-sexual. If a guy identifies as being gay, he is not desirous of having sex with a woman. It's just not going to happen. You can try to pretend for a while but it's not going to last for long and will make for a miserable partnership. If a guy is bi, he can enjoy the best of both worlds. From what you have shared on this forum, you have a great situation since you have an open marriage and don't even have to sneak around. Cheers to you!