So sorry for your loss, truly. LTR here too, and cannot imagine your pain. The dating/hooking up world has changed dramatically in 25 years. The world today seems clearly defined between transactional and relational connections. Escorts are purely transactional, and there is no expectation other than the time purchased. Grindr is highly transactaional - many guys are looking for hookups with NSA, there are a few exceptions but that's my read. If a Grindr connection results in something more, you are truly defying the odds. If you are looking for a relational connection, respectfully suggest trying other venues. Long story short, you should adjust your expectations re: M4M and Grinder. If you are looking for meaningful connections, there are other sites out there more oriented to that......give them a search. Depending on where you live you might also get involved in a social group, charity or other venue to meet new peeps. Despite all the great technology we have, in-person connections are still the most real and meaningful.....good luck my friend. Jack ;)