samhexum

who cares about a ski resort named after a third-rate (at best) soda?

Dear Abby: My husband and I have been married for 18 years, so I know his family well. His mother and I have a cordial, but not warm, relationship that’s sometimes a lot of work. She has always been hard to shop for, but the last two times I’ve given her gifts (at Christmas and her last birthday), instead of a thank-you card, she actually returned the gifts with a note saying she’d never use them. Now I’m not sure what to do. It’s obvious we have different tastes. When I ask her what she’d like, she demurs and says something like, “I’m sure you’ll choose something nice.” If I don’t send her a gift, it’s sure to be taken as a rebuff. What are my other options? (For what it’s worth, my husband has been no help here and considers gifts to be wholly my territory.) — Clueless in Ohio Dear Clueless: It is a HUGE breach of etiquette to return gifts the way your mother-in-law has done. Now, if you must give her something, you are free to ask her what she COULD use. (Might she like a gift card from her favorite store?) KILL THE BITCH! (an oldie, but a goodie!) Dear Abby: I’m a paramedic. My wife constantly asks me to pick up additional 12-hour shifts so we have more money coming in, but says she can’t do any more overtime at her job. She says she does so much work around the house that it makes us even. She takes vacation time to go to theme parks and out with her friends while expecting me to save my time off and use it only when I can go with her. I don’t think this is fair. How do I address this without starting a fight? — Tired in the East Dear Tired: I agree that what your wife is doing isn’t fair. As to how to address it without starting a fight, a “fight” may be what you need to clear the air and work out your budget. A paramedic should not be working when they are exhausted. They need their wits about them, which may present a problem if they are not 100%. KILL THE BITCH! (an oldie, but a goodie!) Dear Abby: For years, my sister has been planning to retire and move in with my husband and me. She lives out of state, so this is a major move for her. It was never a problem — until now. She is a strong anti-vax advocate and refuses to get vaccinated for COVID. My husband said she can’t move in with us unless she is. How can I tell her diplomatically that she’s no longer welcome to live with us? This is really upsetting for me, and I would appreciate your advice. — Distraught in Michigan Dear Distraught: Whether to get vaccinated is a personal choice. You have made yours, and she has made hers. Quit being “diplomatic,” and don’t debate this with her. TELL her the terms under which she is welcome to move in. If she cannot meet those terms, she will have to make other living arrangements. PERIOD. KILL THE BITCH! (an oldie, but a goodie!)

New York City suspended an engineer’s inspection authority after determining that a fundamental error may have led to the partial collapse of a Bronx apartment building this week. The state-licensed engineer made a “catastrophic” mistake by labeling a load-bearing column as a decorative part of the structure in June in plans filed with the Department of Buildings, Mayor Eric Adams said in a statement. City officials said that the engineer had recently filed 368 inspection reports and that it was reviewing all of them. “As part of the investigation, we are reviewing all of his filings in New York City — a total of 368 Façade Inspection and Safety Program filings in the most recent cycle — and will continue that process until it is complete.” The Buildings Department will also re-inspect the 40 other properties the landlord owns to confirm they are safe. The city said its investigation into the sudden partial collapse on Monday of the seven-story Morris Heights apartment building is ongoing, but that it found that the inspector had instructed contractors doing work on the property to remove bricks on the support beam, but not to install temporary supports first.

I've always thought he was handsome, from the time he came into the league. This was him as a young'n. His ears look tiny, though, which brings up: Blanche: He had these long, floppy ears. Kind of like a basset hound. When he came to pick me up for our blind date, I couldn't believe it. He jumped out of the car, and ran up the walk, and bounded up on to the front porch, and I remember thinking, "He's gonna trip on those ears." But he didn't. So there he stood before me introducing himself, and I don't know, I was still so stunned, I just kind of half-muttered a "Howdy-do" and he said, "I beg your pardon? I didn't hear you." Well, I don't know what came over me, but I just blurted out, "Didn't hear me? I think you could pick up Radio Free Europe with those ears!" And you know what he did? He laughed. Well, right then and there I started growing very fond of Mr. Preston Bougainvillea, and over the next several months we saw quite a lot of each other. Rose: Oh, that's really very sweet, Blanche. Blanche: I know... By the way, did you girls know that the size of a man's ears is directly proportionate to the size of his other... bodily organs? Rose: What do you mean? Dorothy: He had a big, floppy pancreas, Rose.

I find that very sexy, despite the horrible grammar.

She IS smarter than most of the contestants and viewers. She's a member of your fan club as well.

I wonder how many million$ the promotion will co$t them thi$ time around. If you look like you, they do. If you look like me, they pretend they don't speak English. I'd rather stay home and order $27 of food from my local Chinese or pizza place, both of which have food I like at prices that are VERY cheap compared to similar places near everyone I know. A benefit of living in a lower-income area than the people I know.

It's appropriate if Ray was a jerk.

Dwight Howard has argued that allegations of sexual assault and battery against him are baseless and that a Georgia court should immediately rule in his favor and dismiss the charges without a trial. A Gwinnett County court has yet to make a decision regarding the petition, but in a Thursday filing that was obtained by ESPN, Howard's attorneys again claimed that Howard and a man named Stephen Harper engaged in a consensual encounter involving a third person at Howard's Georgia residence in July 2021. Harper filed a lawsuit in July with his lawyers accusing Howard of sexually assaulting him during the encounter, along with "intentional infliction of emotional distress" and false imprisonment. In October, Howard denied the allegations and asked the court to dismiss the case. On Thursday, Howard's attorneys went further, alleging that key text messages were deleted and not part of the initial complaint filed by Harper's attorneys. Howard's attorneys also alleged that a pull of the iMessage conversation between Harper and Howard revealed that some messages were doctored. Thursday's filing includes screenshots of alleged text messages between Howard and Harper that were not in the initial complaint. "In short, the totality of the text messages between Mr. Howard and Mr. Harper make it abundantly clear that Mr. Harper's claims are frivolous, that he was a willing participant in the events of July 19, 2021, and the early morning hours of July 20, 2021, and that the touching of his person had been invited by him," Howard's attorneys write in Thursday's filing. "More importantly, the explicit messages not only show consent but also that Mr. Harper was initiating some of the sexual contact. Mr. Harper not only invited the initial experience, but tried to initiate a second encounter because the first was so enjoyable. As it is undisputed that Mr. Harper consented to the touching between him and Mr. Howard, Mr. Harper's claims necessarily fail, and Mr. Howard is entitled to summary judgment as the clear consent negates the essential element of intent and the claims of Assault, Battery, False Imprisonment, and Intentional Infliction of Emotional Distress fall like a house of cards." Harper's lawyers did not immediately respond to a request for comment. In Harper's initial complaint, his lawyers said Harper and Howard first began corresponding over direct messages on Instagram in May 2021, with Harper initiating the exchange. That complaint included screenshots of alleged Instagram exchanges between Harper and Howard from 2021, along with an Uber receipt of Harper's trip to Howard's residence on the night of the encounter. Harper went to police a year later, according to a July 2022 incident report from the Gwinnett County Police Department, which was obtained by ESPN. No charges were filed. "This is nothing more than a classic case of unrequited love," Howard's lawyers wrote in Thursday's filing. "After one consensual evening together, Mr. Howard was no longer interested in keeping Mr. Harper's company." They added, "Mr. Harper told Mr. Howard in text that he would 'get my parade' based on taking the private relationship public and would start by telling Mr. Howard's mom and sisters about Mr. Howard's private life." Howard's lawyers allege that Howard received multiple demands for payment, each from different lawyers and law firms over a year. "When these threats and several demands for money went unfulfilled," Howard's lawyers wrote, "Mr. Harper filed the instant lawsuit as revenge and in an attempt to tarnish Mr. Howard's reputation, 'get [his] attention,' and fulfill the threat of telling the whole world about the private, consensual night." Howard, 38, last played in the NBA in 2021-22 with the Los Angeles Lakers. He is an eight-time All-Star and a three-time NBA Defensive Player of the Year.

OOPS!

This doesn't really qualify, probably, but what the hell... One day when I was 16 or 17ish I was on the subway heading into Manhattan to go to a gay porn theater and I looked up at the ads along the top of the subway car. There was one for Preparation H with a picture of one of my Junior High math teachers. With her real name. And after posting this I was curious, so I googled her and found her wedding announcement from the NY Times in 1972! The internet is a beautiful thing! Rosalyn Bailey Wed To Franklyn Snitow May 28, 1972 CEDARHURST, L. I., May 27 — Miss Rosalyn Bailey, daughter of Mrs. Irving Bailey of Forest Hills, Queens, and the late Mr. Bailey***, was married here this evening to Franklyn H. Snitow, son of Mr. and Mrs. Raymond Snitow of Bayside, Queens. Rabbi William A. Orentlicher performed the ceremony at the Sephardic Temple. The bride, a graduate of Queens College, has a master's degree in education from Boston University. She teaches in the New York City elementary school system. Her mother is with the Israel National Discount Bank and her father was in the wholesale meat business. The bridegroom, an Assistant District Attorney for New York County, is assigned to the Rackets Bureau. He has degrees from the American University in Washington and the New York Law School. His father is an insurance broker. ***There was a very good episode of DESIGNING WOMEN called Mr. Bailey, in which a client of theirs dies in the middle of a job and leaves her fortune to her cat, Mr. Bailey. I don't think he was Mrs. Snitow's father.

A. I didn't know they also did this last year. B. Only the first 2 million thank yous get the $5.

It's their smart-house thingee that turns your lights on & off, adds things to your shopping list, orders from Amazon for you, flushes your toilet, walks your dog, kills the bully that picked on you in high school, etc.

Amazon's speaker/home-control/order-portal

The Fed held rates steady again and the market is SOARING at the moment.

‘Chicken Run: Dawn of the Nugget’ review: Another happy meal By Johnny Oleksinski 101 minutes. Rated PG On Netflix Dec. 15 https://nypost.com/2023/12/13/entertainment/chicken-run-dawn-of-the-nugget-review-another-happy-meal/ Those chatty British chickens have been supersized. Now, instead of the quaint country cry of “I don’t want to be a pie!” from the 2000 Claymation classic “Chicken Run,” the fed-up cluckers battle a bigger foe that has more trans fats: a fast-food factory in the silly sequel “Dawn of the Nugget.” The ee-i-ee-i-old farmyard charm is missed, I’ll admit, and the pressure put on the film to modernize and amp things up after two decades away is perceptible. Remember, when the original hit theaters, Pixar had only three movies under its belt. But the second “Chicken Run” grabs you by the giblets anyway, thanks to its terrific returning voice cast of big-personality Brits, such as bubbly Jane Horrocks and Imelda Staunton (who, in the 23 intervening years, has gone from the coop to Buckingham Palace), and earnestly funny writing. Netflix, to its credit, has not laid an egg. Rocky the Rooster (Mel Gibson has not come back; he’s instead voiced by Zachary Levi) and Ginger, (Thandie Newton) from the first film, however, have. Their cute baby chick is named Molly (Bella Ramsey from “Game of Thrones”), and she’s been raised on a protective island faraway from the deadly farm her parents bravely escaped from. Of course, as curious young adults are wont to do, Molly starts to dream of the outside world. The idyllic freedom her parents risked their feathers for is, for her, a prison. And so Molly hightails it to a distant oasis across the water that she spots on a truck — Fun-Land Farms: “Where chickens find their happy endings.” Uh oh, Molly’s KFC. Indeed, she winds up stuck in a drive-thru deathtrap with her birdbrained pal Frizzle and, at first, they’re entranced by what looks like a miniature golf course with all the feed they can eat. This is where director Sam Fell and screenwriters Karey Kirkpatrick, John O’Farrell and Rachel Tunnard’s intelligent mischief cranks up. Fun-Land combines Aldous Huxley’s dystopian “Brave New World” — all the chickens are brainwashed into satisfied submission — with the fattening up of “Hansel and Gretel.” It’s Grimm’s Poultry Tales. Coming to the rescue, Ginger, Rocky and the rest embark on a complicated mission with plenty of “Mission: Impossible” references. Despite the newfangled attitude, the Claymation (original director Nick Park also created “Wallace and Gromit” and “Shaun the Sheep”) still has that old school, instantly endearing caveman quality from the 2000 movie. It’s a soulful-looking film, even with the addition of complex machines and an “On Her Majesty’s Secret Service” 1960s aesthetic — especially when it comes to resurrected villain Mrs. Tweedy (Miranda Richardson). “Dawn of the Nugget” is not the best roast chicken you’ve ever had. But it remains a clever and just-scary-enough good time for kids. Even a Costco rotisserie can really hit the spot.

Drunken, belligerent tourist 'sexually molested' manatee statue at Florida restaurant nope; no surprise

I prefer Hunks With Moving Junk

You're paraphrasing Hannibal Lechter, right?

nope

Customers can say “Alexa, thank my driver,” and the driver of their most recent delivery will be notified of their gratitude—and receive $5, at no cost to you.

Collapsed Bronx building was declared unsafe in 2020 — COVID-19 delayed repairs

The corner of a seven-story building in the Bronx collapsed Monday afternoon, exposing several apartments – but incredibly nobody was seriously injured, officials said. The partial collapse at 1915 Billingsley Terrace in Morris Heights took place at around 3:30 p.m., stunning onlookers at West Burnside Avenue and Phelan Place who could see inside the slither of units with downward-sloping floors. The top floor still had a bed and other personal belongings inside a room that was without half of its walls. Firefighters searched the massive mounds of rubble for any possible victims, but fortunately there was nobody under the debris, FDNY Commissioner Laura Kavanagh said Monday night. Two civilians suffered minor injuries during the evacuation, the FDNY said. Occupants of the 1927 building, which includes 47 residential units and six businesses, have been evacuated, the FDNY said on social media. Displaced residents were directed to a nearby school where officials would assist them. After residents were helped out of the building, firefighters quickly turned their attention to the debris pile in front of the building with the help of its K-9 unit. The building’s owner submitted their most recent report for the building in March 2021 that found seven unsafe façade conditions, including deteriorating mortar and cracked bricks, Department of Buildings Commissioner James Oddo said during a press conference. The building’s owner submitted their most recent report for the building in March 2021 that found seven unsafe façade conditions, including deteriorating mortar and cracked bricks, Department of Buildings Commissioner James Oddo said during the press conference. So, you've had a rough day at work, haven't watched the news, and you get off your train or bus and picture yourself just flopping into your comfy bed in your lovely corner bedroom with cross-ventilation, and...