samhexum

Have you ever noticed a great, old sign in your neighborhood, perhaps above a bodega, laundromat or other local business? It’s possible you only noticed it after it was gone — after the business closed and became a Popeye’s or maybe a Cricket Wireless, and the vibe of the neighborhood shifted just so. David Barnett hates this vibe shift — so much so, that he’s devoted his life to halting it. Barnett is the force behind Noble Signs, a signmaking studio he cofounded in 2013 out of “an appreciation for the vanishing classic signage of New York City.” He’s also the founder of the New York Sign Museum on Atlantic Avenue in Brooklyn. The museum was established in 2019, with a mission of preserving the great old signs that come down every year and would otherwise go to scrapyards. “I’m lucky I’m alive,” Barnett said during a tour of the museum, which doubles as his fabrication shop. “I’ve craned my neck around to look at a sign and almost crashed my car more times than I can remember.” He’s rescued classic signs from Essex Card Shop, which replaced its sign after a fire in 2022, and from Queen, the red-sauce Italian restaurant that reigned in Brooklyn Heights for 62 years before shuttering in 2020. He has dozens of signs from bodegas, pharmacies, auto repairs and Jewish delis. Some are small. Others are taller than him, or stick far out the back of his box truck. “Signage that was handmade with so much personality really defined the aesthetic experience of living in a New York City neighborhood, maybe even more than the architecture,” Barnett said. “The tide we’re trying to push against was to find that character, the thing that makes interacting with your environment fun — that personality and playfulness that is just not the norm anymore.” The museum’s and studio’s parallel missions of preservation and creation feed into each other, he said. Every old sign they rescue teaches them something about how to make their own. “You can design something that looks classic, but if you don’t make it the classic way, it might have an ersatz feeling,” said Barnett. Barnett keeps a mental map of great old signs to check in on regularly. When he learns that a well-signed business is nearing the end, he makes his approach. “The first thing I usually say is, ‘Hey, I love your old sign. Do you have any plans for it?’” he said. “Often people go, ‘Oh, that old thing?’” Barnett pulls out his card and explains that he represents a real business, has insurance and will come de-install the sign for free. He estimates his success rate is less than 50%. “The irony is that often people would rather pay literally thousands of dollars to have someone come throw the sign out,” he said. “I don’t know why.” Barnett speculates that one reason is very simple — and very New York. As soon as you tell someone you want something, they wonder if they can get a better offer somewhere else. Unfortunately, he said, they usually can’t. “A lot of these signs, if they were 50% smaller, they’d be worth a lot of money,” said Barnett. “But who’s going to take a 30-foot sign?” Barnett said that before the Instagram age, signmaking was even more of a dead art form. Popular brush lettering and neon appreciation accounts have helped to revive interest and spread knowledge. Before that, he recalls mining libraries and eBay for old books on the craft. He learned about 20th-century signage and the mid-century giants of the industry, like Silverescent Neon, which made signs across Coney Island and Brooklyn, and Artkraft Strauss, which designed iconic signs in Times Square. “Before neon there were bulbs, and before bulbs the original lighted marquees in Times Square were made by cutting letters out of tin and filling them with candles,” Barnett said. One of his favorites is the Canal Rubber Supply Co. sign in Lower Manhattan. Barnett was honored to work with the business on a restoration of its classic sign last year. The owner of J & R Television and Air Conditioning said knowing his sign would be preserved in the New York Sign Museum made it just a little bit easier to retire after decades in the business. The museum’s crew was in Park Slope last month, de-installing a sign from J & R Television and Air Conditioning. Owner Ralph DiCerbo had worked behind the counter since he was 12 years old. His father opened the business in 1953. “I’m happy to be able to retire, but it’s very bittersweet,” DiCerbo said. “I grew up here, I know all the customers. We have a lot of old people who rely on us to change their batteries and tell them what vacuum bag they need, the small stuff.” He said knowing his sign would go to a museum helped to take the edge off. Some film production companies were interested in taking it. The sign has been featured in movies, TV, graphic novels and even the video game “Grand Theft Auto,” Di Cerbo said — but the family voted and decided it should go with Barnett instead. “If we want to see it, I could bring my grandchildren one day, if I ever have any,” he said. “And say, ‘Hey, that’s where your great-grandfather started.’”

imagine the male who left THOSE footprints... Matching dinosaur footprints found more than 3,700 miles apart, on different continents A team of paleontologists found matching dinosaur footprints on what are now two different continents, separated by thousands of miles of ocean. The footprints, dating back to the Early Cretaceous period, were found in Brazil and in Cameroon, researchers wrote in a study published Monday by the New Mexico Museum of Natural History & Science. The discovery shows where land-dwelling dinosaurs were able to cross freely between South America and Africa before the two continents split apart millions of years ago. The more than 260 footprints researchers studied were found impressed into mud and silt along ancient rivers and lakes, with more than 3,700 miles separating the ones in South America and Africa, according to the study. Paleontologists determined they were similar in age, shape and in geological and plate tectonic contexts. Dinosaurs made the tracks 120 million years ago on a single supercontinent known as Gondwana, which had broken off from the larger landmass of Pangea — once the world's only continent, Southern Methodist University paleontologist Louis Jacobs said. "One of the youngest and narrowest geological connections between Africa and South America was the elbow of northeastern Brazil nestled against what is now the coast of Cameroon along the Gulf of Guinea," Jacobs, the lead study author, said. "The two continents were continuous along that narrow stretch, so that animals on either side of that connection could potentially move across it." The continents now known as Africa and South America started to split around 140 million years ago, researchers said. The south Atlantic Ocean eventually filled the void. Basins formed as the continents pulled apart; rivers flowed and lakes formed in those basins, Jacobs said. The basins where the footprints were discovered can be found on both sides of the split. Most of the footprints were made by three-toed theropods, a group of carnivorous dinosaurs, researchers said. There were also prints left behind by sauropods or ornithischians. "Plants fed the herbivores and supported a food chain," Jacobs said. "Muddy sediments left by the rivers and lakes contain dinosaur footprints, including those of meat-eaters, documenting that these river valleys could provide specific avenues for life to travel across the continents 120 million years ago." https://www.cbsnews.com/news/dinosaur-footprint-discovery-different-continents-brazil-cameroon/?ftag=CNM-00-10aac3a

Absolutely... and it's only been within the last 5 years or so we've gotten Dennys, Dairy Queen, Chik-fil-A, & (just last month) Raising Canes.

I felt the same way about a show called SINGLE DRUNK FEMALE that only lasted two.

He'd been mentioned in an earlier part of the article about a couple of other things.

The upcoming third season, which begins in late October, will be the last one. There will be no season four. This is sad, but not surprising. It's not like there was ever any buzz about the show.

Queens Tourism Council highlights diverse dining options along the 7 line for US Open Fans

since I only make a third of the devils Food mix at a time and I eyeball the mix and the oil, it never comes out exactly the same, but last night's was the best yet, which is a good thing except for the fact that the way that I've been eating lately if it tasted like cardboard, I would probably devour it and then go find something else to eat. Actually, at this point I've had one half of what I made with 1/3 of a mix which is supposed to equate to 24 cupcakes so YAY MATH! I am giving you this math problem to figure out… How many cupcakes have I eaten?

Man with ‘world’s largest penis’ reveals hardest things about daily life applause.wav Baby, you're incredible.wav drum.wav Here Comes Trouble.wav I feel good (James Brown).wav bite me.wav That's the way I like it.wav

‘Perfect hiding place’ for MH370 applause.wav Baby, you're incredible.wav excellent.wav jaws.wav KnowItAll.wav woo hoo.wav

The doctor's office called with the results of the Holter monitor I wore for a week; there were a couple of extra beats during the week, but nothing my doctor was concerned about. My primary care physician happens to be a cardiologist so that works out well.

Roughly two dozen more Red Lobster locations are scheduled to close within the coming days as part of the seafood restaurant chain’s ongoing bankruptcy proceedings. A recent court filing shows that the company is rejecting the leases of an additional 23 locations by Saturday, August 31, joining the more than 100 restaurants that Red Lobster closed earlier this summer. Once complete, the chain will have around 500 outlets left — a sharp decline from the 650 it had just last year. Red Lobster is in the process of selling itself to Fortress Credit Corp., a lender experienced in restaurant management that also owns Krystal, Logan’s Roadhouse and J. Alexander’s. The firm recently gave the seafood chain a $100 million loan to allow it stay afloat. On Monday, Fortress announced that it will install the former chief executive of P.F. Chang’s, Damola Adamolekun, as Red Lobster’s new CEO once the chain exits bankruptcy proceedings. Adamolekun left the Chinese food restaurant chain in August 2023 following a four-year stint. Mismanagement, competition, inflation and other factors brought down Red Lobster, which has been a pioneer in the restaurant industry. Thai Union, a global seafood supplier, became Red Lobster’s leading shareholder in 2020 and filed for bankruptcy four years later in May. Under Thai Union’s leadership, Red Lobster’s culture turned toxic, former leaders told CNN. Red Lobster cut costs, removed longtime suppliers and implemented strategies that backfired, such as making $20 endless shrimp a permanent menu item. The chain lost $11 million on the endless shrimp deal. The new list of restaurants leases identified to be closed “are likely to continue to drive losses” and the company does “not anticipate needing in order to operate their business going forward and can be rejected,” the filing said. Here are the locations Red Lobster plans to close: Arizona -1521 S. Yuma Palms Pkwy., Yuma Arkansas -8407 W. Markham St., Little Rock California -8703 Murray Drive, La Mesa Colorado -4925 N. Academy Blvd., Colorado Springs Florida -326 Miracle Strip Pkwy., Fort Walton Beach -5110 N. 9th Ave., Pensacola -8909 U.S. Highway 19, Port Richey Georgia -6550 Tara Blvd., Jonesboro Illinois -1604 N. State Road 50, Bourbonnais -902 Commons Drive, Geneva -4625 N. Sterling Ave., Peoria Indiana -4353 Franklin St., Michigan City Minnesota -8900 Golden Valley Road, Golden Valley -12515 Elm Creek Blvd. North, Maple Grove Missouri -2381 Maplewood Commons Drive, Maplewood New York -925 Hunts Point Ave., Bronx -750 Upper Glen St., Queensbury North Carolina -304 A Western Blvd., Jacksonville Ohio -17227 Southpark Center, Strongsville South Carolina -1270 Knox Abbott Drive, Cayce Virginia -555 S. Van Dorn St., Alexandria -4415 S. Laburnum Ave., Richmond -709 Independence Blvd., Virginia Beach

Gunman kills mourner at friend’s grave after victim threatens to puke in cemetery

Repots Claim Ben Affleck Has Been "Hanging Out With" RFK Jr's Daughter https://www.aol.com/lifestyle/repots-claim-ben-affleck-hanging-144800602.html what, or who, is a repot?

They had to add two extra matinees a week and just over two years after opening they are still selling at 97% capacity for all shows, which Ticketmaster considers a sellout, so maybe not the Hollywood bowl because they were never particularly big in America but selling out a 3000 seat arena for over two years qualifies it as a success, I would think. KISS sold their song catalog to a company partly owned by Bjorn for $300 million so they are going to be the next group presented in this manner. I would think the reasons you're not gonna get that many groups to do it are that some people are dead, some bad blood can't be overcome even for money, and there would be a lack of venues available that could accommodate the technology, since the arena in London was built specifically for this purpose and retrofitting a regular arena for it would probably be expensive and in the United States I don't think it would wind up being a big enough draw to be worth it. The only place that would work would be at the sphere in Las Vegas because that would accommodate the technology and also with tourists coming in from all over the world and new people visiting every week you could have a constant stream of people who would want to see it. Alas, I feel I never shall get to see it, though I'm one of the few people in the United States who can say I actually did see them live in 1979 at Radio City Music Hall and I still have the yellow T-shirt that I haven't been able to wear since probably , two years after I saw them live at Radio City Music Hall.

White collar crime: NY conman cleric used $650K in phony charity donations to fund lavish lifestyle, plastic surgery There was a whole lot of monk-y business going on.

Kentucky State Fair removes ribbon-winning miniature after realizing it depicted a porn set

Calling all Swifties! The Shops at Atlas Park to host Taylor Swift-inspired dance party next week I imagine @pubic_assistance will plan to attend after a meal at his favorite German restaurant, mere blocks away on Myrtle Ave. When the Myrtle Avenue El connected Ridgewood to Downtown Brooklyn The platform between the tracks at the Metropolitan Avenue station in Middle Village were originally lined with wooden planks, similar to a beach boardwalk. Rusting away above the Myrtle Avenue-Broadway station on the J and M lines in Bushwick is a reminder of the first major commuter train that linked Ridgewood and surrounding communities to the business hubs of Downtown Brooklyn and Lower Manhattan. The last steel trusses of the old Myrtle Avenue Elevated Line (El) tower over Myrtle Avenue from Lewis Avenue in neighboring Bedford-Stuyvesant to the curvy spur where M trains shift between the elevated Broadway Line and the existing Myrtle Avenue Line that runs through Bushwick and Ridgewood to Metropolitan Avenue in Middle Village. Trains last ran on the Myrtle Avenue El in October 1969, which — by that point — deteriorated greatly from overuse, neglect and urban decline. Nonetheless, it played an important role in accelerating the transition of our neighborhood from rural to urban life, spurring the construction of communities filled with apartment houses, single-family homes and small businesses that remain vibrant to this day. Brooklyn Rapid Transit (BRT, later reorganized as Brooklyn Manhattan Transit [BMT]) developed the Myrtle Avenue El, with the first section opening in April 1888. At first, it was a shuttle line connecting Adams Street in Downtown Brooklyn to Grand Avenue in Clinton Hill. Development of the line continued into Queens in 1890, when it reached Wyckoff Avenue in Ridgewood. From there, the Myrtle Avenue El moved to ground level and ran through Ridgewood along Palmetto Street and the former Lutheran Line (named for the nearby cemetery) to its terminus at Metropolitan Avenue in Middle Village. At first, heavy steam locomotives pulled the Myrtle Avenue El trains. By 1900, the entire line was electrified via third rail technology. This enabled the BRT to introduce lighter train cars capable of crossing the Brooklyn Bridge. Thus, a rail line was constructed in Downtown Brooklyn running the Myrtle Avenue El over the famed bridge to Park Row in Lower Manhattan, which became the line’s western terminus. In early February 1913, the city’s Public Service Commission announced that it had granted the BRT permission to elevate the 1 1/2-mile section of the Myrtle Avenue Line from Wyckoff Avenue to just east of Fresh Pond Road. This was done to eliminate some of the congestion at the Ridgewood depot at the corner of Myrtle and Wyckoff avenues. Prior to this, there were low-level stations at Seneca Avenue, Forest Avenue, Fresh Pond Road and Metropolitan Avenue. From Wyckoff Avenue to Fresh Pond Road, the at-grade railroad was fenced in on each side and the only crossings were at the stations. Shortly thereafter, the BRT placed contracts with Frederick C. Burnham to build the 1 1/2-mile elevated railroad, but one of the conditions was that he had to do so while maintaining service on the railroad to Metropolitan Avenue so as to not inconvenience local residents. In turn, the Manhattan-based Burnham hired various subcontractors including Million Brothers Company to erect the steel and Empire Construction Company to lay the steel rails when the steel structure was completed. Prior to the erection of the new elevated section, a dangerous reverse curve led the trains from the elevated level to the ground level at Myrtle and Wyckoff avenues, across from the car yards. This was eliminated and replaced by a single curve from Myrtle Avenue into Palmetto Street. By May 1914, all of the concrete had been poured and about 35 percent of the steel work had been completed. In September 1914, the Empire Construction Company started laying rails. On Feb. 15, 1915, the new section of the elevated railroad was placed into service from Wyckoff Avenue to Fresh Pond Road. Shortly thereafter, the private right-of-way on the surface of Palmetto Street was made available for electric trolley service. The Fresh Pond Storage and Service Yards were enlarged on the east side of Fresh Pond Road at Putnam Avenue to hold 700 cars. The BRT purchased additional land at a $20,000 cost to accomplish this. They also built a concrete clubhouse for the trainmen as the move to switch some of the trolley lines that had formerly terminated at Ridgewood Depot to Fresh Pond Depot. The lost stations Later dubbed the MJ line, the Myrtle Avenue El ran on the current M line between Metropolitan Avenue and Central Avenue in Bushwick, then continued above Myrtle Avenue to Bridge-Jay Street. Along the way, it served the communities of Bedford-Stuyvesant, Fort Greene and Clinton Hill, with stops located at Broadway (above the Myrtle Avenue J train station), Sumner Avenue, Tompkins Avenue, Nostrand Avenue, Franklin Avenue, Grand Avenue, Washington Avenue, Vanderbilt Avenue and Navy Street. For decades, residents used the line to not only businesses in downtown Brooklyn and Manhattan, but also the Brooklyn Navy Yard, which — during World War II — employed 70,000 people. Students also relied on the Myrtle Avenue El to reach schools such as St. Joseph’s College and Bishop Loughlin High School, both in Clinton Hill. End of the line Many factors led to the Myrtle Avenue El’s downfall. One of the first occurred during the late 1930s, when the underground G line opened between Brooklyn and Queens. The Crosstown Line, as it is called, served many of the same communities as the Myrtle Avenue El and offered an important north-to-south link to other subway lines and points of interest. The El suffered another blow in 1944, when the BMT ended its trips across the Brooklyn Bridge. The line then terminated at Bridge-Jay Street. New York City began to decline financially during the 1950s and 1960s, as waterfront industry fled and middle-class residents left the city for the suburbs. The state and federal governments also invested tens of millions of dollars in constructing expressways bisecting the boroughs — but provided little to support the city’s transit system. In its last few years, the Myrtle Avenue El became symbolic of public transit decay. It was the only line still using wooden passenger train cars; modern steel cars were used everywhere else in the subway system. The elevated stations— many of which were still lined with wood plank platforms—also deteriorated greatly. In July 1969, the MTA announced that it would be shutting down the Myrtle Avenue El — a move which Ridgewood lawmakers immediately protested. In the July 24, 1969 Ridgewood Times, Assemblyman John Flack and Assemblywoman Rosemary Gunning “called for a public hearing before any action is taken to discontinue the present service.” Flack and Gunning, in a letter to then-MTA Chairman William Ronan, argued that “the elimination of train service to downtown Brooklyn will create severe hardship and great inconvenience to workers, students, shoppers and other residents who must use the line daily.” Ronan, however, noted that the declining ridership made it a losing proposition to continue. “In addition to operating savings and increased revenue from the bus service” that would replace it, he reportedly said, “demolition of the elevated structures will open a 35-block stretch of Myrtle Avenue to light and air.” The end finally came for the Myrtle Avenue El in October 1969, when New York City Transit ended service west of Myrtle Avenue-Broadway to Bridge-Jay Street. The New York Times reported that about 1,200 people rode the final cars to pass the line. In the years that followed, the elevated structure west of Lewis Avenue was taken down piece by piece. While Ridgewood, Bushwick and Middle Village residents are still connected by rail to the rest of the city via the M line, there remains no direct rail link to Downtown Brooklyn. https://qns.com/2024/08/myrtle-avenue-el

HE’S DOING IT AGAIN, FOLKS… ONLY BETTER After a miserable first month, over his last 100 games, Judge is batting .378/.505/.835 with 45 home runs, 106 RBIs and 84 walks since April 27. Nobody has ever done that. With 5 HR in his last 4 games, he's on pace for 62 again. Since 1930, only three seasons have statistically rated higher than Judge’s 224 wRC+ (meaning he’s 124 percent better than the league average hitter): 2002 Barry Bonds, 2001 Bonds and 2004 Bonds. Judge has developed into the most-feared hitter in the sport. His 224 wRC+ is 36 percentage points better than Soto’s 188, who ranks second in MLB. As of Friday night, his .728 slugging percentage was higher than the OPS of 18 MLB teams. Danny Jansen to join Red Sox's lineup at start of suspended game vs. Blue Jays, play for both teams Jansen will be the first player in MLB history to play for both teams in the same game. D-Backs' Jordan Montgomery says Scott Boras 'kind of butchered' his free-agency negotiations Ohtani stole his 40th base tonight then later hit a 2-out walk off grand slam to become the fastest ever to 40/40. We've never seen anything like this before and we may well never see it again, even from Ohtani. One of the biggest factors in Ohtani's breakout on the basepaths is the fact that he isn't pitching and doesn't have to preserve his lower body to the degree that he will next year, when he returns to mound action. And the Dodgers almost certainly won't ask him to run as much knowing they want him to take a turn in the rotation every five or six days. Then there is Ohtani's age, which hit 30 on July 5. He's nowhere near a decline phase but even if he eventually gives up pitching, it'll be down the line when his speed and overall durability is likely to be less than it is right now. The confluence of factors that made this 40-40 season (and maybe 50-50) possible is unlikely to ever happen again. He, Judge, & Bobby Witt, Jr. are having legendary seasons. Have we seen many shooting stars like Bobby Witt Jr. streaking across our skies? I don’t think we have. He ranks No. 1 in the sport in sprint speed. He ranks No. 1 among all infielders in outs above average. His batting average since the All-Star break is .445. The 140-220 Club — If the Royals shortstop keeps filling up the Runs and Hits columns in the box scores at this clip for another six weeks, he’s going to finish this season with 141 runs scored and 227 hits. Just so you know how cool that would be, the 140-220 Club hasn’t admitted a new member in 88 years. Last to get there: Charlie Gehringer in 1936. … The only other American League player to do it in the past 100 years: That Lou Gehrig guy again, in 1930. … The only other AL hitters to top 140 and 220 before that: Ty Cobb (1911) and Nap Lajoie (1901) … who both did it before the invention of the refrigerator! Now sprinkle on a little 30-30 seasoning — But Witt is also cruising toward 30 homers and 30 steals. So now let’s ask: How many players in history have made it into that 140-220 Club and the 30-30 Club in the same season? If you guessed zero, that’s some astute guessing. Speaking of 30-30 — I started wondering how rare it is for any man to lead the major leagues in batting average in a year when he was also going 30-30. Is once in history rare enough for you? Mookie Betts did that in 2018. But even if we lower the bar to admit guys who just led their own league in hitting, only Christian Yelich (2019) joins the fun. Amazing. But hang on, because here comes an even cooler club Witt could enter … Batting champs who played ’em all — It’s the fourth week of August, and how many games has Witt missed? Not one. Does he ever get tired? I only ask because in modern times, we never see batting champs who play every single game. He has a shot at the XBH-single Double-Double — Finally, is anyone else rooting for Witt to lead his league in extra-base hits and singles? It isn’t out of the question. Witt is five back of Aaron Judge for the AL lead in extra-base hits. And he’s nine behind Jose Altuve for the league lead in singles. I know this is a long shot, but I mention it because this one is really hard to do. The last man to lead his league in both categories in the same year: Stan Musial (yeah, him again) … nearly 80 years ago, in 1946. The only other player to do it in the live-ball era: Musial’s Cardinals teammate, Enos Slaughter, in 1942. The only two to do it in the dead-ball era: the usual suspects! In other words … Ty Cobb twice and Nap Lajoie twice. Sometimes, nature calls at inopportune times. Just ask the Clearwater Threshers’ new bat dog. The Single-A affiliate of the Phillies debuted a new team pooch, Lucy May, after the third inning of their game against the Dunedin Blue Jays.Lucy May for sure left her mark at BayCare ballpark, quite literally — by defecating on the infield. The team, using the alternate identity “Beach Dogs” on Friday night, officially changed bat pups, with veteran Layla giving the duties to Lucy May. Lucy May did her business on the field. Lucy May was let loose to retrieve the bat left near the left-hander’s batters’ box, but had almost no interest in going for the lumber, and instead ran toward the first-base coach’s box before going down into the visitors’ dugout. She was eventually coaxed out of the Blue Jays’ bench with a bat, but again, had next to no interest in it, zooming past the wood and taking a lap around the infield grass. And then, standing on the right side of the infield, Lucy May went to do her business, much to the delight — and shock — of the 2,682 in attendance. She was eventually corralled by the Clearwater staff and given one last chance at grabbing the bat — but to no avail. Lucy May even said hello to the team’s pitcher. Lucy May wanted to say high to relief pitcher Jonh Henriquez, who seemed almost unfazed by the hilarity of it all. “Lucy May’s debut was more entertaining than we ever could have imagined,” the team wrote on X along with crying and poop emojis. Fans on X seemed to enjoy the video as it went viral on social media. “She got the excited poops! Completely understandable,” wrote one. “Try to fire her and I will file a wrongful termination lawsuit on her behalf.” Rest assured, the Threshers aren’t getting rid of Lucy May any time soon. “We would never! Happens to the best of us,” they wrote in a reply. Lucy May didn’t bring the Threshers any luck, however, as they lost 6-0.

Did you drop a lot of things on the floor accidentally?

AND... I believe they were shooting a gay porn movie this morning at Northshore Hospital in Manhasset with the actors dressed as orderlies and male nurses because otherwise there must be another hospital in a parallel universe that had some really ugly men working there this morning.

They're due out in the US in a few days and I plan to get one next week,

DEAR ABBY: My sister has a squawky bird she insists on keeping alongside the dinner table when she invites guests for dinner. Its ear-piercing screeching inhibits guests’ ability to carry on normal conversation, so I asked her if, in the future, she could please put the bird in another room during dinner. She responded that the bird is a family member. I said, “So are children, but they aren’t permitted to run around the dining table screeching when there is company over.” This year, when we returned for another dinner, she pulled the bird and its cage even closer to the table and the person sitting next to her than last time. She apparently decided the comfort of her guests is not as important as her closeness to the bird. I don’t know how to address this in the future when she disregards my feedback. Aside from the squawking, it’s not appealing to have a birdcage pulled up alongside a dinner table, or to have the host constantly distracted and conversation interrupted. What is your advice? — NERVE-WRACKED IN NEW JERSEY DEAR NERVE-WRACKED: Because it’s clear your advice wasn’t appreciated, the next time you are invited to a dinner party at your sister’s home, feel free to say you are busy. The only bird at the table should be a nice roasted chicken or a stuffed turkey. BIRD OWNERS ARE JUST WEIRD. MAYBE DINNERS WOULD BE MORE ENJOYABLE IF THE BIRD IS ALLOWED TO FLY AROUND AND YOUR SISTER IS PUT IN A CAGE.