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A Canadian woman “stole” a complete stranger’s car following an almost unbelievable parking screw-up. In late June, the unnamed woman rented a black Nissan Sentra from a company in Cornwall, Ontario. Immediately afterward, she drove to Walmart and shopped before finding what she thought was her car in the parking lot. The woman got into the unlocked car, pressed the keyless start button and drove off — oblivious to the fact it was a completely different vehicle to her own rental. Keyless cars can be operated as long as the key fob is located inside the car, which was the case in this circumstance. Not long afterward, a black Nissan Infiniti, which had been parked in the same lot, was reported stolen to local police. That car’s owner had also been shopping in Walmart before realizing his vehicle had vanished. In a lengthy Facebook post, the Cornwall Community Police Service warned motorists to never leave key fobs in cars when not in use. They explained that for two weeks, the clueless woman “drove around and used the black car for her regular everyday activities” and only realized something was wrong after returning to the rental company to return the car. “The woman spoke to the manager and commented about how unkept [sic] the inside of the vehicle was and the fact that there was a set of golf clubs in it as well,” the post read. “The woman was not impressed and handed over the keys. The manager, now slightly confused, observed the keys to belong to an Infinity, a vehicle the woman did not rent. “The manager … proceeded to ask her where she went after leaving the car rental two weeks ago. The woman informed him of her activities.” The pair returned to the Walmart parking lot and the woman took the manager to the spot where she had parked her rental car — only to find it still sitting there as she had left it. “The manager and the woman, who was now confused and a wee bit embarrassed herself, returned to the car rental company and contacted police, providing the information for the Infiniti and what took place,” the post stated. “The Infinity came back as stolen on police systems as reported in June and…both the car rental company and the Infiniti owner retrieved their vehicles and there was a happy and funny ending to this story.” But police urged drivers to take care. “The moral of the story is this … please do not leave your key fobs in your vehicle when not being operated, you never know who might take it,” the post concluded. “Folks, we just can’t make this stuff up!” The hilarious post has received hundreds of likes, shares and comments from bemused Facebook users, with one posting: “That happened to me once. I got into the car and I noticed different objects on the dashboard, then I noticed I got into the wrong car. I was embarrassed,” while another added: “So both of them left their car unlocked and keys in it? Talk about a comedy of errors.”

A Canadian woman “stole” a complete stranger’s car following an almost unbelievable parking screw-up. In late June, the unnamed woman rented a black Nissan Sentra from a company in Cornwall, Ontario. Immediately afterward, she drove to Walmart and shopped before finding what she thought was her car in the parking lot. The woman got into the unlocked car, pressed the keyless start button and drove off — oblivious to the fact it was a completely different vehicle to her own rental. Keyless cars can be operated as long as the key fob is located inside the car, which was the case in this circumstance. Not long afterward, a black Nissan Infiniti, which had been parked in the same lot, was reported stolen to local police. That car’s owner had also been shopping in Walmart before realizing his vehicle had vanished. In a lengthy Facebook post, the Cornwall Community Police Service warned motorists to never leave key fobs in cars when not in use. They explained that for two weeks, the clueless woman “drove around and used the black car for her regular everyday activities” and only realized something was wrong after returning to the rental company to return the car. “The woman spoke to the manager and commented about how unkept [sic] the inside of the vehicle was and the fact that there was a set of golf clubs in it as well,” the post read. “The woman was not impressed and handed over the keys. The manager, now slightly confused, observed the keys to belong to an Infinity, a vehicle the woman did not rent. “The manager … proceeded to ask her where she went after leaving the car rental two weeks ago. The woman informed him of her activities.” The pair returned to the Walmart parking lot and the woman took the manager to the spot where she had parked her rental car — only to find it still sitting there as she had left it. “The manager and the woman, who was now confused and a wee bit embarrassed herself, returned to the car rental company and contacted police, providing the information for the Infiniti and what took place,” the post stated. “The Infinity came back as stolen on police systems as reported in June and…both the car rental company and the Infiniti owner retrieved their vehicles and there was a happy and funny ending to this story.” But police urged drivers to take care. “The moral of the story is this … please do not leave your key fobs in your vehicle when not being operated, you never know who might take it,” the post concluded. “Folks, we just can’t make this stuff up!” The hilarious post has received hundreds of likes, shares and comments from bemused Facebook users, with one posting: “That happened to me once. I got into the car and I noticed different objects on the dashboard, then I noticed I got into the wrong car. I was embarrassed,” while another added: “So both of them left their car unlocked and keys in it? Talk about a comedy of errors.”

Innocent bystander shot twice on same street 20 years apart The innocent bystander who was shot in the face following Tuesday’s deadly explosion of violence near a Staten Island courthouse has been struck by a stray bullet before — and it happened on the exact same block. Fran Williams, 67 — who was in critical condition Thursday after getting shot waiting for a bus on Jersey Street in New Brighton — was also shot in 1998 while doing her laundry on the same street, law enforcement sources said. “What a shame. Here is an innocent lady getting shot 20 years apart,” said a law enforcement source. “Even during the crack days, drug dealers didn’t have that bad of luck.” Details of the 1998 shooting were scant — and it was unknown whether anyone was arrested — but one source said Williams was not the intended target. Williams’ latest brush with death came at the end of a gang battle that erupted at the courthouse in St. George and ended with a man fatally rammed by a minivan and five others arrested. Members of two feuding crews came to blows inside the Central Avenue courthouse at around 11:45 a.m. Tuesday and were given summonses and tossed out by court officers, sources said. Out on the street, at least one of the gangbangers pulled a knife, and five stole and piled into a 2012 Dodge Caravan, authorities said. With court officers on its tail, the van sped to nearby Fort Place at Montgomery Avenue, where it plowed into Robert Craigwell, 26, pinning him against a bed-and-breakfast house, officials said. Craigwell, an island resident, died at the scene, cops said. The five occupants of the van, ages 16 to 24, were taken into custody at the scene, police said. But the bloodshed wasn’t over. About 30 minutes later and a half-mile away, a gunman opened fire on Jersey Street near Hendricks Avenue in what sources say was a retaliation attempt for the fatal van strike. The only person struck was Williams, who was waiting at a bus stop not far from her home. While it wasn’t clear whom the shooter was targeting, three of the five suspects in the van crash are listed as living on Jersey Street. As of Thursday evening, no arrests had been made in connection with Williams’ shooting. Neighbors know Williams as “Ms. Franny,” a cheerful animal lover who keeps to herself. “She’s a great person with a great heart,” one acquaintance said. “She’s always in good spirits. She makes you laugh.” Four of the van-crash suspects — Illya Baker, 22, Isaiaha Black, 20, Tyreek Gomez, 16, and Hassan Ray, 24 — were arraigned Thursday in Staten Island Criminal Court on charges of grand larceny, criminal possession of stolen property and unauthorized use of a vehicle. Cash bail for each was set at $25,000. The arraignment of the fifth suspect, Prince Edmonds, 19, was slated for Friday. As the suspected driver, Edmonds is additionally charged with manslaughter.

Alaska’s last two Blockbuster video stores are calling it quits, leaving just one store open in the U.S. The stores in Anchorage and Fairbanks will close for rentals after Sunday night and reopen Tuesday for video liquidation sales through the end of August, said Kevin Daymude, general manager of Blockbuster Alaska. “It’s going to be crazy,” Daymude said of the temporary reopening. He said residents were sad when they heard the news and many people have been reminiscing about their Blockbuster memories. The news was announced to Alaskans on Blockbuster Alaska’s Facebook page. The closures come just two months after the host of HBO’s “Last Week Tonight with John Oliver” sent a jockstrap worn by Russell Crowe in the 2005 movie “Cinderella Man” and other items to the Anchorage store, which displayed it in an effort to ramp up business. Daymude says the buzz from the Oliver connection brought more people to the store. “You would not believe how much business we got just from that memorabilia alone,” he said. “I can’t thank John Oliver or his show enough.” But it wasn’t enough to counter a planned lease increase at both Alaska locations. The jockstrap will probably go to the franchise owner, Alan Payne, who lives outside Austin, Texas. A request for comment from HBO was not immediately returned. In its heyday, Blockbuster had 15 stores in Alaska, Daymude said. Some stores in more remote, less populated parts of the state began closing in the early 2000s. In recent years, Blockbuster stores have vanished in most of the U.S. But their survival lasted longer in Alaska, with some crediting expensive internet as a factor in keeping many people renting videos rather than streaming. The closures will leave the Blockbuster in Bend, Oregon, as the sole holdout. “How exciting,” said the Bend store’s general manager Sandi Harding. “It might end up being a little chaotic for a couple of weeks.” As for the fate of that store, the future looks good. “We have no plans on closing anytime soon,” Harding said.

Bears don’t usually pack a lunch, but they’ll be happy to eat whatever someone else has prepared. WSB-TV reports that Carrie Watts of Rabun County, Georgia, found a large black bear enjoying her sandwich, chips and a cookie inside her minivan after climbing through an open window. Watts had left the windows down Wednesday to combat the summer heat. She initially thought the bear was a black cat. She says the bear spent about 30 minutes in the minivan before it climbed back out the window and scaled a tree. Watts said lunch wasn’t the only thing the bear demolished; it also destroyed her child’s car seat and shredded some paperwork.

Wasn't that the original title of Mad Magazine's Spy Versus Spy?

Allentown police say a car crashed into the office building of a gated community in the West End, pinning an office worker at her desk. Police Capt. Charles Roca said an elderly man drove into the building about 11:45 a.m. Wednesday, and the woman was taken to a hospital. Roca said the office worker was pinned and described her injuries as minor. He said no one else was injured. The building appears to be the front lobby of the Westmount Apartment Homes, a gated community at 650 Primrose Drive.

Allentown police say a car crashed into the office building of a gated community in the West End, pinning an office worker at her desk. Police Capt. Charles Roca said an elderly man drove into the building about 11:45 a.m. Wednesday, and the woman was taken to a hospital. Roca said the office worker was pinned and described her injuries as minor. He said no one else was injured. The building appears to be the front lobby of the Westmount Apartment Homes, a gated community at 650 Primrose Drive.

What in the world is going on with Broadway’s “Straight White Men?” Young Jean Lee’s dark comedy, opening this month at Second Stage’s Hayes Theater, lost two of its leading men in the last few weeks. Neither of them, happily, is Armie Hammer, the “Call Me By Your Name” star, who’s making his Broadway debut as one of three sons of a patriarch named Ed. Tom Skerritt was initially cast as Ed. But Skerritt, 84, was struggling to learn his lines, a production source says. He left the show in June for what was described as “personal reasons.” Second Stage then reached out to Denis Arndt, a Tony nominee for 2016’s “Heisenberg.” He stepped in at the last minute before previews began June 30, just one day later than scheduled. Sources say Arndt agreed to do the role as Anna D. Shapiro directed it. But as the actor got into it, he decided to change things. “He’s from the old school — you can’t do a role without digging into it, making it your own,” a source says. Shapiro, the Tony-winning director of “August: Osage County,” believed there was no time to retool the character and the dynamic of the play, whose characters come together over takeout and board games. The official statement is that they parted “due to creative differences.” Sources say there were fireworks between Arndt and Shapiro, and Second Stage sided with her. Stephen Payne, who originally understudied the role of Ed and performed the role the first week of previews while Arndt rehearsed, has since taken over the role. Second Stage declined to comment, and Arndt couldn’t be reached. Until Thursday, Arndt’s life-size photo was still up outside the Helen Hayes Theater, along with those of Hammer, Josh Charles and Paul Schneider, who play Ed’s sons. “Straight White Men” is set to open July 23.

A Spanish public servant who skipped work for a decade without anyone noticing spent his free time running a male brothel and drawing erotic comics. Carles Recio, who was paid a €50,000 ($58,000) salary as an archives director in Valencia’s provincial government, would show up to the office every morning at 7:30 a.m. to clock in using the fingerprint scanner before heading home, only returning to the office at 3:30 p.m. to clock out. He kept up the routine for 10 years before colleagues began to raise suspicions. After Spanish newspaper El Mundo broke the story 18 months ago, Recio was finally fired, despite his insistence that he had done nothing wrong. “I have only done what they have asked me to do,” he told the paper in January. Recio maintained that he worked from home. “No one can show me a photograph in which I’m in a cafeteria, I’m a man of action,” he told the Spanish TV channel La Sexta. “I do documentation work out of the office, the work of a slave. Working like a slave means that I work so that others get the fruit of my labor.” State authorities abandoned an attempt to prosecute him after deciding his actions did not constitute a crime, but an administrative tribunal in Valencia this week banned Recio from holding public posts for nine years for his “flagrant neglect of the essential duties inherent to the work post.” The tribunal found there was no evidence Recio had performed any of the jobs he claimed, and that he had not even logged in to the corporate network since 2012 despite having his own computer. It also found no evidence for his claims that he had told superiors he didn’t have a desk following an office relocation, or that he had been assigned an external project to create an “inclusive art center.” “There is not the slightest evidence that he was entrusted with the project of creating an inclusive artwork center or similar and the activities carried out by him are more like private dedications than authentic ones,” the tribunal said. The tribunal strongly criticized the local government for failing to properly supervise its employees, saying Recio “became comfortable in the situation that benefited him” and his actions would not have been possible “without the acquiescence or the disinterest of the administration for which he worked.” He had been busy in other ways, however. In his free time, Recio was making a name for himself as an erotic comic book artist and creator of the popular character Fallarela, a busty superhero who hurls flaming Valencia oranges at her enemies. It also emerged Recio had been running a male brothel out of his home since 2005. At one point he threatened to reveal the identities of his clients, warning there may have been cameras inside and the “graphic information” could compromise many politicians. As part of his high-profile campaign to clear his name, Recio even attempted to use acouncil venue for an art exhibition entitled, “Love for Valencia: the works of a man who never worked,” with four floors of works including paintings, sculptures and even a bronze bust of himself. The City of Valencia canceled the show, which described Recio as “the most slandered writer in modern-day Valencia,” just before it was due to open after the council discovered he had booked the venue using a fake name. The twists and turns of the bizarre case have dominated headlines in Spain. Following the tribunal’s verdict, many were critical that Recio was only suspended, avoiding the most serious sanction of permanent loss of his status as a public official. In its editorial, El Mundo said it had received many tip-offs that Recio’s case was “not, by far, the only scandal of blatant absenteeism in public administrations.”

On the heels of Friday’s good employment report, this interesting bit of information came out: The number of people over 85 years old who are still working is rising. The Washington Post, which ran the story, gave a whole lot of good reasons for this trend: People can’t afford to retire. They are healthier at an old age. The more educated they are the longer they can work, and jobs are less strenuous today, etc. All good reasons. But here’s the important one that was missed: There are simply more Americans who are achieving advanced age today, so of course the sheer number of workers in that group will be rising. Right now, 4.7 percent of the US population is over 90 years old, compared with just 2.8 percent in 1980. By 2050, that percentage will rise to 10 percent. How much do you want to bet that the number of 85-year-olds working then will be larger than it is today?

A Rock and Roll Hall of Fame member with Queens roots will be posthumously honored for his contributions to the music industry during his lifetime. Walter Becker, a Forest Hills native and co-founder of the band Steely Dan, will have his memory honored by co-naming the corner of 112th Street and 72nd Avenue, the street where Becker grew up, as “Walter Becker Way.” It’s a block from my aunt’s old apt, where I lived for a couple of years, & a block (in the other direction) from the Yeshiva I attended until I was paroled in early Dec. during 5th grade. Fun Fact: If you take 112th St. north until it ends, you run into the athletic field for Forest Hills H.S., where Simon & Garfunkel attended. Coincidentally, I saw a listing for a house for sale that I liked on that same corner 7 weeks ago: https://qns.com/story/2018/05/22/see-forest-hills-home-modern-design-market-2-1m/ The unveiling will take place on Oct. 28. Becker and his partner, Donald Fagen, formed the jazz-rock band Steely Dan in 1971. He released many albums with Steely Dan and on his own, and performed with Steely Dan when the band reformed. Becker died of esophageal cancer on Sept. 3, 2017, at the age of 67. Councilwoman Karen Koslowitz, who represents Forest Hills, co-sponsored the “Walter Becker Way” renaming as part of a bill that passed the City Council on June 28. WAXQ-FM radio will host the renaming ceremony, which will include special guests, remembrances from Becker’s friends and colleagues, and giveaways. Festivities will be planned by Becker’s fans. “Walter’s fans have decades of experience holding ‘Danfests’ throughout the country,” said Delia Becker, Becker’s widow. “And they always find innovative and eclectic ways of celebrating. It will undoubtedly be a fun and free gathering to honor and commemorate Walter as only they can!”

Geometry:

Seattle Mariners catcher Mike Marjama informed the team that he is retiring from baseball to take a position with the National Eating Disorders Association. Marjama, 28, was optioned to Triple-A Tacoma on April 20 after making the team's Opening Day roster. He appeared in 10 games this season, batting .111 with three doubles, two walks and six strikeouts. Marjama told the Sacramento Bee last year that he battled an eating disorder when he competed as a wrestler at Granite Bay High School in northern California. He said he cut weight for wrestling and then kept dropping pounds, plummeting to as low as 130 pounds. He required inpatient treatment, recovered and has been outspoken about the disorder since. "When I had the eating disorder, I was stubborn. Now my eyes are open," Marjama, who is now 6-foot-2, 205 pounds, told the Bee. "A lot of high school students have a tremendous amount of pressure on them. We all want to see things out of reality, and we don't always see things fully clear. It was a hard time, what I went through, but it changed my perspective on life. It definitely helped me grow." http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/newpix/2018/03/29/16/4AAB6B9B00000578-0-image-m-23_1522337635796.jpg http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/newpix/2018/03/29/16/4AAB6BA300000578-0-image-a-9_1522337194630.jpg

Or do you prefer getting up at the crack of noon?

Oh, please... PLEASE let me differ...