samhexum

City-slicker cop Brendan McLoughlin has officially gone country. The NYPD officer — who secretly married singer Miranda Lambert in January — has taken a leave of absence from the force, the NYPD confirmed to The Post. McLoughlin seems to be fully embracing his glittering new celebrity lifestyle — and even helped his new bride promote her latest single, out Friday. “House husband shirtless promo vol. 1 #NYPD #ihadto #hotcop,” Lambert captioned a cheeky Instagram video Thursday, which showed him shirtless and doing laundry in an apparent a play on her latest song’s title: “It All Comes Out in the Wash.” When they’re not gallivanting across the country for Lambert’s engagements, the pair have been splitting time between Nashville and NYC, Lambert told Extra in June. She’s reportedly welcomed him to the good life in a big way. She’s “totally upgraded Brendan’s life,” including buying a $2 million NYC apartment, an unnamed source told In Touch magazine. McLoughlin, 27, made $92,125 last year working in the Midtown South precinct, according to payroll records. “Being a young NYPD officer, he wasn’t exactly rolling in money. But it seems Miranda likes spoiling him and doesn’t mind spending money to make him happy,” a source told In Touch. In April, the couple made their first red carpet trek at the American Country Music Awards in Vegas. Last week, McLoughlin went back to his roots, making a stop at the GMA studios — where he was working when he met Lambert while she made an appearance on the morning show. Following the wedding, the NYPD promptly removed McLoughlin from foot patrol and assigned him to drive brass around. It’s unclear if and when McLoughlin will be back in uniform. If McLoughlin quits, he could still receive a portion of his public retirement benefits. Officers who have been with the force for at least five years can begin collecting vested retirement 20 years after joining the force, even if they’re no longer with the department. McLoughlin has been with the NYPD since at least 2014, payroll records show. NYPD officers can use banked vacation and overtime to take an extended leave. John Jay College of Criminal Justice professor and retired NYPD sergeant Joseph Giacalone speculated that the cop’s absence could be more about liability than living the high life. “It might be in his best interest to use the accrued time then ride off into the sunset,” Giacalone said. “As soon as someone knows you’re married to a celebrity, they’re going to be looking to 2019-02-20: Miranda Lambert‘s new police officer hubby is no stranger to the fame game — in fact, his 15 minutes trace way back to 2015 and a little something called the “Cupid Shuffle.” Brendan McLoughlin — who was already working for NYPD a few years ago — was cited as the “hot cop” who did the Cupid Shuffle during NYC’s Pride weekend that year. Officer McLoughlin was caught on camera doing his duty … stepping to the right, to the right, to the left, to the left while shuffling with a bunch of civilians — including some women who couldn’t resist his moves. Can’t blame those ladies … the guy’s a stud in or out of uniform. In fact, he even moonlighted as a model back in those days. Unclear if he’s still doing that though. Brendan’s been temporarily taken off foot patrol and placed on driver duty due to the media attention he’s drawing following his surprise marriage to Miranda.

CES will include special sex-toy section at annual tech exhibition CES is going back and forth on sex toys again. The giant Las Vegas trade show said this week that its yearly event in January will allot floor space for sex-toy makers to exhibit their wares and compete for prizes — a year after the tech bash made headlines for stripping an award it had given to a high-end vibrator. At this year’s CES, a $250 gadget called the Osé Robotic Massager, which uses “intricate engineering and robotics” to provide an “elusive blended orgasm,” was deemed “obscene” and “immoral” by CES organizers after CES judges awarded it a prize for robotics. Lora DiCarlo, the startup that makes the vibrator, at the time slammed CES for an “obvious double standard” against female sexuality, pointing out that the show has had no issue with exhibits of sex robots and VR porn in the past. The decision was eventually overturned, and CES organizers apologized. Moving forward, sex toys will be eligible to be displayed on the show floor in its health and wellness section. The Consumer Technology Association, which runs CES, said that 2020 will be a “one-year trial basis” for sex toys, and that a determination on their future inclusion will be made after. In addition to the new “Sex Tech” section, CES said this January a ban on pornography will be “strictly enforced with no exceptions.” CES also will crack down on the practice of hiring “booth babes” — or scantily clad women showing off gadgets. New rules forbid booth personnel from wearing clothing that is “sexually revealing” or that “hugs genitalia.”

CES will include special sex-toy section at annual tech exhibition CES is going back and forth on sex toys again. The giant Las Vegas trade show said this week that its yearly event in January will allot floor space for sex-toy makers to exhibit their wares and compete for prizes — a year after the tech bash made headlines for stripping an award it had given to a high-end vibrator. At this year’s CES, a $250 gadget called the Osé Robotic Massager, which uses “intricate engineering and robotics” to provide an “elusive blended orgasm,” was deemed “obscene” and “immoral” by CES organizers after CES judges awarded it a prize for robotics. Lora DiCarlo, the startup that makes the vibrator, at the time slammed CES for an “obvious double standard” against female sexuality, pointing out that the show has had no issue with exhibits of sex robots and VR porn in the past. The decision was eventually overturned, and CES organizers apologized. Moving forward, sex toys will be eligible to be displayed on the show floor in its health and wellness section. The Consumer Technology Association, which runs CES, said that 2020 will be a “one-year trial basis” for sex toys, and that a determination on their future inclusion will be made after. In addition to the new “Sex Tech” section, CES said this January a ban on pornography will be “strictly enforced with no exceptions.” CES also will crack down on the practice of hiring “booth babes” — or scantily clad women showing off gadgets. New rules forbid booth personnel from wearing clothing that is “sexually revealing” or that “hugs genitalia.”

‘Manspreading’ chair wins award for forcing dudes’ legs together Take a pew, sitting down just got woke! A British student has snagged a nifty design award for creating an anti-manspreading chair. Fed up with men who luxuriate in their seating, University of Brighton student Laila Laurel, 23, fashioned a pair of his and hers chairs that challenge the way men and women “command space.” “I was also hugely inspired by Laura Bates’ Everyday Sexism Project, where I read about the struggles and frustrations of women around the world pertaining to men infringing on their space,” Laurel tells Metro. Reminiscent of medieval torture devices translated through mid-century style, the sycamore and cherry wood chairs encourage women to spread eagle, while forcing men to knock their knees together. “In order to achieve gender equality it is imperative to consider many different aspects of sexism,” says Laurel, “and so that is why I thought it would be interesting to try to explore political gendered issues around seating.” For her manhood-crushing efforts, Laurel was awarded the Belmond Award at New Designs in London. “I think encouraging women to consider the way in which they move through the world, or the space they take up in relation to men, is powerful because it is such an intrinsic and huge issue, and yet one that perhaps is not always considered,” she womansplains. Naturally, her thought-provoking furniture has attracted online haters. But Laurel says they have nothing to fear. “I have received a lot of explicit messages — nearly entirely from men — who seem to be under the impression I am trying to castrate them and that I hate all men — which couldn’t be further from the truth,” Laurel says. So breathe easy New Yorkers, the MTA isn’t implementing anti-manspreading devices on the subway — yet.

‘Manspreading’ chair wins award for forcing dudes’ legs together Take a pew, sitting down just got woke! A British student has snagged a nifty design award for creating an anti-manspreading chair. Fed up with men who luxuriate in their seating, University of Brighton student Laila Laurel, 23, fashioned a pair of his and hers chairs that challenge the way men and women “command space.” “I was also hugely inspired by Laura Bates’ Everyday Sexism Project, where I read about the struggles and frustrations of women around the world pertaining to men infringing on their space,” Laurel tells Metro. Reminiscent of medieval torture devices translated through mid-century style, the sycamore and cherry wood chairs encourage women to spread eagle, while forcing men to knock their knees together. “In order to achieve gender equality it is imperative to consider many different aspects of sexism,” says Laurel, “and so that is why I thought it would be interesting to try to explore political gendered issues around seating.” For her manhood-crushing efforts, Laurel was awarded the Belmond Award at New Designs in London. “I think encouraging women to consider the way in which they move through the world, or the space they take up in relation to men, is powerful because it is such an intrinsic and huge issue, and yet one that perhaps is not always considered,” she womansplains. Naturally, her thought-provoking furniture has attracted online haters. But Laurel says they have nothing to fear. “I have received a lot of explicit messages — nearly entirely from men — who seem to be under the impression I am trying to castrate them and that I hate all men — which couldn’t be further from the truth,” Laurel says. So breathe easy New Yorkers, the MTA isn’t implementing anti-manspreading devices on the subway — yet.

Uh, what's the big surprise? They have a non-meat burger that bleeds. You're just talking about non-meat that cums. :cool:

I was watching the midday news today, and their 'Caught on Camera' segment had 2 interesting videos: In the first, a dog jumped out of a car that was disabled on a highway in Florida, ran up the road dodging cars, then jumped off an overpass and fell 18 feet. He was found wandering around by a county maintenance crew and taken to a vet. No broken bones; he's fine. The second video showed something that has apparently become a 'thing'. A 19 year old moron BMX rider jumped his bike off a ledge or cliff of some sort over tour-de-France riders riding by underneath him, Evil Kenevil-style, to a landing spot on the other side. Sacre Bleu!

Wendy turned 55 today. Did you send her (and Nelson Mandela) a birthday card?

Wendy announced that she sticks her legs into a machine for 45 minutes each day and will have to do that for the rest of her life due to lymphedema

http://68.media.tumblr.com/31862a67ba6f182387f23c31398839a6/tumblr_ohf7uuEXW01qekp69o1_250.gif http://68.media.tumblr.com/b2c41bf82a2b28731d2a48733e868ea9/tumblr_ohf7uuEXW01qekp69o4_250.gif http://68.media.tumblr.com/e54cadd40e72d4f446a9cf1a6c6627a6/tumblr_ohf7uuEXW01qekp69o3_250.gif The brothers had (and were) a lot of fun cooking with Martha & Snoop last night.

Were you perhaps talking about Lance Navarro?

Unlocking pulp potential: Nestlé invents 70 percent dark chocolate from cocoa fruit – with no added sugar Using leftover material from cocoa plants as a sweetening ingredient is a “breakthrough idea” Nestlé has created a unique new chocolate made entirely from the cocoa fruit, using only the beans and pulp as ingredients. The new chocolate, to be launched in Japan this autumn, has been developed using a “natural approach” and patented technique which does not require adding any refined sugar. Nestlé hails its invention as a “breakthrough idea” with huge potential. The company continues to explore the possibilities of using the cocoa fruit in this way and is poised to innovate more products that provide a novel chocolate experience as more consumers seek natural and healthy options. “It’s the first time that we have been able to use more of the cocoa fruit to make chocolate, unlocking the pulp potential. This allows for a single-source chocolate, without adding refined sugar, but still imparting a delightful sweetness. It is a breakthrough idea, as cocoa pulp has not been used in this way before on an industrial scale. We are just using one food source, the cocoa fruit, to make our chocolate,” they explain. The first product will be introduced in Japan through Nestlé’s KitKat Chocolatory. Further products in other countries will follow next year, through some of Nestlé’s most popular confectionery brands. “We have only just started to explore the possibilities. Chocolatiers are beginning to understand more about how to bring out the flavors of this magical fruit, while farmers and manufacturers are becoming aware that 31 percent of the pod can be used versus 22 percent now,” the spokesperson continues. The cocoa fruit contains cocoa beans and cocoa pulp. The pulp surrounds the beans, it is soft, sweet and white in color. Some of the pulp is used in the fermentation of the cocoa beans after they are harvested, but a significant proportion is usually removed and the value is lost. Until now it has not been used as an ingredient to naturally sweeten chocolate. Nestlé has developed a natural approach, which allows it to extract the pulp and use it in chocolate with no compromise on taste, texture and quality. Until now, chocolate has been made with the addition of refined sugars. This patented innovation delivers a great tasting chocolate using only one ingredient – the cocoa fruit. There is potential for Nestlé to use the same process to make milk or white chocolate. Nestlé says this latest creation bolsters its leadership in the confectionery category by driving innovation and creating new, natural and exciting products. Nestlé was the first to bring Ruby chocolate to market in 2018 with KitKat, first in Japan and then across Europe. The move also follows Nestle’s sugar restructuring breakthrough in 2018 when it launched a Milkybar with 30 percent less sugar. Researchers pioneered the “Milkybar Wowsomes” range, describing this as the first chocolate bar in the world to use Nestlé’s innovative sugar reduction technique. The science behind the bar transforms the structure of sugar through a newly developed process using only natural ingredients and is inspired by candy floss (cotton candy). Experts created aerated, porous particles of sugar that dissolve more quickly in the mouth and on the tongue. This allows someone to perceive the same level of sweetness as before, but with much less of the ingredient and consuming less sugar.

Why pay for a car wash when you can crash into a river for free? A New Jersey driver left a car wash on Tuesday — and plunged straight into the Hackensack River when she pressed on the gas pedal instead of the break, the Hackensack Fire Department said. Footage of the splashy incident shows the white Mercedes SUV exiting the auto wash around noon and nosediving into the river. The driver, and a female passenger, were able to escape from the vehicle, officials said. One of them was transported to Hackensack University Medical Center with minor injuries, according to NorthJersey.com. Officials were able to pull the car from the river at around 1:30 p.m.

For someone who’s notorious for playing villains, crazies and assorted oddballs, Neal McDonough could not be a straighter arrow. He’s the ultimate stand-up guy, a family man who has five kids with Ruve, his wife of 16 years. He’s a staunch Catholic whose refusal to do love scenes cost him at least one job, the lead on the 2010 ABC series “Scoundrels.” Yet McDonough — currently playing sinister Malcolm Beck opposite Kevin Costner on “Yellowstone” — has found a way to have a career while protecting himself from the moral squalor of show business. It helped that he abandoned LA for Canada. “As a devout Catholic, it was much better for my way of thinking and way of life than LA,” says McDonough. “It’s a very me-centered culture there. The way I was brought up is: family first, me second.” McDonough, 53, had his first introduction to Vancouver in 2015 when Greg Berlanti asked him to play criminal mastermind Damien Darhk on the CW series “Arrow.” “We’re an hour south of Vancouver and it’s like a Norman Rockwell painting,” he says. “My wife loves it, my kids love it. I wanted a Massachusetts feeling.” This summer he’s making his usual insidious impression on “Yellowstone” as Beck, one half of a brotherly duo who own all the gas station casinos in Montana. “You fill up your car, you go inside to pay and there are slot machines,” he says. “If you want to have a casino you have to go through the Beck brothers. Malcolm has a monopoly on gambling, liquor and gas stations all across Montana.” Beck offers his services to John Dutton (Kevin Costner), a wealthy rancher at war with the Paradise Valley Casino and Condo, a development project spearheaded by Dan Jenkins (Danny Huston) and his Native American business partner, Thomas Rainwater (Gil Birmingham). “John owns half of the valley and they want to build the casino on the edge of his property, which would overlook that fantastic ranch,” McDonough says. “John has his code and I have mine. Obviously they come to a head.” With a large family to support, McDonough takes most of the jobs he’s offered. He has had stints on everything from “Project Blue Book,” “Van Helsing” and “Suits” to the upcoming second season of Netflix series “Altered Carbon,” which stars Anthony Mackie. After working with the comic-strip caliber characters on “Arrow,” McDonough enjoyed testing his mettle against the cowboys represented by Costner, whom he describes as “the most rugged, handsome, John Wayne kind of guy. There’s isn’t an ounce of Botox in that face.” Like many of the “Yellowstone” cast, McDonough was knocked out by the physical beauty of the Chief Joseph Ranch in Montana where the series films exteriors, but he still went home whenever possible. “I’m not very good being away from my wife,” he says. “When I go away on location, it’s more like prison. I don’t like to go out at all. I like to fly for a day or two and get home for 10 days.” With Luke Grimes — who plays Costner’s son Kayce Dutton — reporting that one of the bulls used on set charged and broke one of the show’s cameras, it seems fair to ask McDonough if he worked with any livestock. “Yeah. I was with Cole Hauser,” he says, referring to the rugged character actor who plays “Yellowstone” ranch hand Rip Wheeler. “I do comedy,” he says. “People don’t realize it. You never laugh so hard as when you laugh in church, at the most inappropriate times. That’s what I tap into for my villains. That to me is entertainment. I always wanted to be Ted Knight on ‘The Mary Tyler Moore Show.’ If I had a poster of an actor on my wall, it would be Ted Baxter on the news.”

There's a name from the past! http://www.countyhistorian.com/knol/4hmquk6fx4gu-716p9f-lance2.jpg http://www.dudetubeonline.com/2013/04/24/vv0423a.jpg http://www.smutjunkies.com/updates/wp-content/uploads/models/100/100748b.jpg

:eek::cool:

http://68.media.tumblr.com/31862a67ba6f182387f23c31398839a6/tumblr_ohf7uuEXW01qekp69o1_250.gif http://68.media.tumblr.com/b2c41bf82a2b28731d2a48733e868ea9/tumblr_ohf7uuEXW01qekp69o4_250.gif http://68.media.tumblr.com/e54cadd40e72d4f446a9cf1a6c6627a6/tumblr_ohf7uuEXW01qekp69o3_250.gif The brothers had (and were) a lot of fun cooking with Martha & Snoop last night.

Frank Robb, who became an overnight celebrity in Chicago when he caught the elusive alligator roaming the Humboldt Park lagoon, threw out the first pitch at Wrigley Field on Tuesday and got a huge hand from the crowd. Robb, with all his fingers intact, threw a perfect strike. The Cubs said that when they heard Robb was planning to go to the game against the Cincinnati Reds, they asked him to do first-pitch honors. Much earlier in the day, Robb caught "Chance the Snapper," the rogue alligator that captured the imagination of the city for the past week. The gator was given the moniker in an homage to Chicago's own Chance the Rapper. Robb, who said he has been hunting alligators for 24 years, came in from St. Augustine, Florida, on Sunday and caught Chance using something that even cartoon alligators know to avoid: a fishing pole. "I brought my fishing rod, and it went down pretty fast,'' Robb said at a news conference Tuesday morning. At about 1:30 a.m. -- about 36 hours into the hunt -- Robb said he "saw his eye shine and caught him on the fishing rod. One cast ... and it was done.'' Chance is a male measuring more than 5 feet and weighing 40 pounds. "Wherever he came from or however he got here, he's a very healthy animal," Robb said. City officials staged a news conference at the park Tuesday morning for a reveal. Robb opened a big plastic tub and lifted Chance by his tail so the crowd could get a good look. The gator was given a red bow tie collar, which a city official placed around his neck. A thick band of electrical tape held his jaw shut. Chance was a daily news story from the day he was spotted and photos started popping up online. Investigators don't know why the animal was in the lagoon, but they knew they had to capture it. That's when Robb came to the rescue. The Cubs tweeted a photo of Robb throwing out the first pitch, using some of Chance the Rapper's lyrics. "Everybody's got different blessings. This is my blessing," Robb said. As for Chance the Snapper, he was safely taken to the Chicago Dept. of Animal Care and Control, where he will stay until he is taken to an alligator sanctuary.

Why?!? They play different sports!

AWFUL loss for the Yanks last night in the Bronx, which was witnessed by four VERY tall brothers, one of whom took pics with many of the players, picked up a baseball for the first time in his life, then took a few swings in the indoor batting cage… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h0xTlDCv_lo The Yanks have the tallest team in baseball history, including 6’7 CC Sabathia… P.S. Giannis has 2 years left on his contract, but will be eligible to sign an extension (the largest allowable deal in NBA history – 5yr / $239.5 million) starting 7/20/20, and if he doesn’t, they’ll have to trade him rather than lose him for nothing when his contract runs out in 2021. Giannis idolized older brother Thanasis growing up. (“I didn’t choose basketball– Thanasis chose basketball.” Giannis wanted to play soccer, as their dad had.) The Bucks just signed Thanasis to a 2 yr / $3 million deal to return from Greece, where he wasn’t even good enough to start for the team he was playing for. He previously played 2 seasons in the NBA developmental league, & played a total of 6 minutes for the Knicks. He is NOT an NBA-quality player. It’s nice to have a brother who’s a generational talent. P.P.S. If Giannis signs the extension, between his NBA and shoe & other endorsement deals, the man who is embarrassed by his toes that are curled because he always had to wear borrowed sneakers as a child, and sometimes went 2 days without eating, will have made half a billion dollars before his 30th birthday. As he tweeted after he first tasted a smoothie as a rookie, God Bless America! P.P.P.S. Milwaukee is now the city of brotherly love. Besides the Antetokounbros (as the Antetokounmpo brothers call themselves), the Bucks signed goofy 7’1 comic-book loving Robin ‘Sideshow Bob’ Lopez to back up his goofy comic-book loving identical twin Brook. Last season, the San Antonio arena had an occasional bat problem. Brook said he might let the bat bite him, because if a bat bites you, there’s a 25% chance you develop superpowers. 5 years ago when Brook played for Brooklyn (just a coincidence, but kinda cool) and Robin played for the Knicks I posted an article at Atkol about how they couldn’t live together because their pussies (Poupon & Prince Edward Zephyr) didn’t get along. I don’t know if they are still alive.

Fla. man says his 20-foot python could grow to world-record size Ginormica is about 6-years-old and is an excellent swimmer. A Florida python could be slowly slithering toward a world record. Emerald Coast Zoo co-owner Rick de Ridder says their female reticulated python named “Ginormica” weighs more than 200 pounds and is a little over 20 feet long. Her diet consists of previously frozen goats and pigs. Ridder says she could near world record size in a couple of years, which is about 25-feet long. She could live to be about 75-years-old. Chicago officials close park in hopes 'calm and quiet' will cause alligator 'Chance the Snapper' to resurface Chicago officials have closed a portion of the park where a wayward alligator has been lurking in hopes of catching it. The noise from the onlookers gathering near the Humboldt Park Lagoon may be causing the gator, nicknamed "Chance the Snapper," to remain underwater, Kelley Gandurski, executive director of Chicago Animal Care and Control, said in a statement on Sunday. Animal control officials are hoping that "keeping the lagoon and surrounding areas as calm and quiet as possible" will help them humanely capture the gator," Gandurski said. "It is likely that residents who have been watching from the lagoon banks and paths in the park have been influencing the animal’s behavior," she said. "We are taking these steps in an attempt to create an environment that lends to the animal’s safe capture so we can quickly re-open the entire park to activity." Chance the Snapper, a 4 to 5-foot indigenous American alligator , was first spotted in the lagoon on July 9. The gator is believed to have been a pet that someone dropped off at the lagoon, Jenny Schlueter, a spokeswoman for Chicago Animal Care and Control, told ABC News last week. The City of Chicago has brought in expert Frank Robb, who owns Crocodilian Specialist Services in St. Augustine, Florida, to assist in the capture. Robb arrived in Chicago on Sunday and has assessed the park and lagoon, according to the CACC. The closure of parts of the park began Sunday night, and will continue until further notice. Just 20 alligators have been seen in Chicago since 1998, Schlueter said. It is believed that Chance is the first gator to surface in the Humboldt Park lagoon. Police: Flushing drugs could create Alabama ‘meth-gators’ Tennessee police arrested a man after he allegedly tried to flush a dozen grams of drugs down his toilet, something police jokingly said could create “meth-gators” in Alabama. Officers with the Loretto Police Department in Tennessee arrested a suspected drug dealer who was found attempting to flush grams methamphetamine down the toilet on Saturday, according to a post on the department’s Facebook page. Once police entered Perry’s home, officers found him trying to flush the meth and several items of paraphernalia down his toilet. Andy Perry was arrested after police found 12 grams of meth, 24 fluid ounces of liquid meth, and several paraphernalia items inside the house. He was charged drug possession with intent for resale, possession of drug paraphernalia, and tampering with evidence. The police department released a statement on Facebook about the incident. "This Folks…please don’t flush your drugs m’kay (sic)." "When you send something down the sewer pipe it ends up in our retention ponds for processing before it is sent down stream. Now our sewer guys take great pride in releasing water that is cleaner than what is in the creek, but they are not really prepared for meth." "Ducks, Geese, and other fowl frequent our treatment ponds and we shudder to think what one all hyped up on meth would do. Furthermore, if it made it far enough we could create meth-gators in Shoal Creek and the Tennessee River down in North Alabama. They’ve had enough methed up animals the past few weeks without our help. So, if you need to dispose of your drugs just give us a call and we will make sure they are disposed of in the proper way.”