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Florida python hunter bakes Christmas cookies using snake eggs An enterprising Florida snake catcher has devised a festive way to combat the Everglades’ ever-growing Burmese python scourge — by using the reptile’s eggs to make ssssscrumptious Christmas cookies, among other dishes. “Heading out to hunt tomorrow with some fresh rocky road & chocolate almond python egg cookies,” wrote Donna Kalil alongside a recent Instagram pic of the unorthodox baking ingredients. Since joining South Florida’s python eradication program in 2017, the Everglades crusader has bagged 470 of these Southeast Asian invaders, and often employs their body parts in various dishes, the Miami Herald reported. “It’s a great source of protein,” Kalil explained. Among the most prized are the python’s leathery eggs, which the unconventional chef boils, makes into frittatas and, of course, freezes for baking cookies, like a herpetological Peter D. Hooper from the Dr. Seuss books. One of her more recent holiday-friendly creations was gluten-free rocky road and sugar hiss-mas cookies in the shape of little snakes. Prefer your snake without sweeteners? Not to worry: this serpent-slurping epicure uses the python meat — known locally as “chicken of the glades” — to whip up everything from pasta sauce to jerky. Kalil likes munching on the latter for a much-needed pick-me-up during her often 10-hour snake hunts. “It’s really good when you cook it right,” she said, adding that it “takes practice” to avoid overcooking it. Unfortunately, the Burmese python’s status as an apex predator in the mercury-rich Everglades means it accumulates massive amounts of the metal in its body. And the bigger the snake, the more mercury it likely contains — which is problematic for a predator that can grow up to 23 feet long. To safeguard against possible contamination, Kalil refrains from consuming python on a daily basis and only eats snakes measuring around 6 feet or less. She even has a testing kit to gauge mercury levels in the meat. Kalil may not be the only one chowing on constrictor in the future. The Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission is currently measuring mercury amounts in Burmese python populations to determine whether they are safe for public consumption. “If we can determine that they are safe to eat, that would be very helpful to control their population,” said program director Mike Kirkland of the culinary contraception proposal. Currently, Florida residents are only encouraged to kill the scaly invaders, which have overwrithed South Florida since the first specimen was released into the Everglades in the 1980s. “This [eating them] would be a wonderful way to get more people involved with helping us remove pythons from the environment,” said Kalil.

A new paper published in the journal Ecology has found that octopuses punch fish — sometimes to ensure collaborative hunting, and sometimes just ’cause. “OCTOPUSES. PUNCH. FISHES!!” study co-author Eduardo Sampaio excitedly tweeted of his research’s publication. “This was probably the most fun I had writing a paper. Ever!” Octopuses and fish are known to hunt together, each benefiting from the other’s strengths — except when the tentacled ocean thugs decide to randomly pop their collaborators right in the scales. An octopus punch looks like “a swift, explosive motion with one arm directed at a specific fish partner,” the paper describes — an act which costs octopuses little of their zeal. “[Actively] punching a fish partner entails a small energetic cost for the actor (i.e. octopus),” the authors explain. Researchers recorded eight octopus-on-fish fight videos between 2018 and 2019 in the Red Sea involving a diversity of victims, including squirrelfish, blacktip, lyretail, groupers, yellow-saddle and goatfishes. While six of the fisticuff outbreaks could be linked to obvious octopus motives — including the wholesome desire to “ensure collaboration” — two appear to be wanton acts of fish violence. The researchers do not fully understand why octopuses sometimes have violent, purposeless episodes but believe it could simply be “spiteful behavior” or a form of “punishment.” How hurt the fish are by such outbursts — physically and emotionally — are also currently beyond the knowledge of science. “We’ve never seen permanent marks or anything like that from getting punched, but can’t say for sure if fish are hurt or not. It’s clear they don’t like it!” Sampaio tweeted. In addition to experiencing apparently unnecessary spurts of aggression, octopuses are also similar to humans in giving hugs, dreaming, being negatively impacted by climate change and preferring feely-touchy group hangs to chilling alone with a Chewbacca action figure when dosed with molly.

Rebecca Luker, the Tony-nominated star of Broadway musicals such as “Show Boat” and “Mary Poppins,” died Wednesday at age 59. Her agent confirmed to the New York Times that the actress lost her yearlong battle with Lou Gehrig’s disease. Luker, who was born in Birmingham, Alabama, was a mainstay of New York theater for more than 30 years, and her first Broadway show was “The Phantom of the Opera” in 1988. While she was a member of the original ensemble at the Majestic Theatre — playing the Princess in the “Hannibal” ballet — Luker eventually went on to sing “Think of Me” as the leading lady, Christine Daaé. In the ’90s and aughts, Luker was the first choice for iconic roles on Broadway: Maria in “The Sound of Music,” Marian Paroo in “The Music Man” and Magnolia in “Show Boat.” As Marian, said Post critic Clive Barnes, Luker was “entrancing” and “matched up with the original, Barbara Cook.” Luker was nominated for three Tonys in her career, for “Show Boat,” “The Music Man” and “Mary Poppins,” in which she played Winifred Banks. Despite her worsening health in recent months, Luker still determinedly performed three songs this summer in an online concert benefiting ALS research. “[For] the final song, I wanted to do some kind of tribute to New York City, which is such a great city and has sort of shown their mettle these last three months, and it’s an amazing place,” Luker, who has two stepsons with her husband, Broadway actor Danny Burstein, told BroadwayWorld.com. “It’s called ‘Greenwich Time’ and it’s my favorite song about New York and it was written by Sam Davis and Randy Buck. It was hard to sing, but it was fun anyway.”

Washington Football Team quarterback Dwayne Haskins was stripped of his captaincy and fined $40,000 by the team for violating COVID-19 protocol when he partied with strippers without a mask this past weekend, according to multiple reports. This is the largest known fine for a player’s COVID-19 violation, equaling more than half of Haskins’ weekly paycheck, according to NFL Network. Haskins, 23, told reporters Wednesday he was not at a strip club, but rather a private birthday party for his girlfriend. ESPN reported Haskins hired strippers for a party in a hotel suite. He did admit, however, that he “deserved” his punishment for putting the team at risk by not wearing a mask at a large gathering. He said he’s thus far tested negative for COVID-19. Haskins, the No. 15 overall pick in the 2019 NFL Draft, was caught partying maskless following Sunday’s 23-15 loss to the Seahawks, counting as the second time Haskins has violated the league’s coronavirus protocol. Earlier in the season, he made reservations for a family member to stay at the team hotel the night before a road game against the Giants. With the team still waiting for clarity on quarterback Alex Smith’s calf injury, Washington might have to stick with Haskins. He participated in practice Wednesday and with no suspensions as part of his recent punishment, head coach Ron Rivera — who informed Haskins on Monday he’d no longer be a captain — said Haskins would start if Smith can’t play.

DEAR ABBY: A friend of mine has recently discovered that her husband of 40-plus years has been hiding a decades-long porn addiction. The discovery has caused a problem in their marriage. They have had counseling. He says he wants to save their marriage and has vowed to give up the porn. I was told he told his wife that if she decides to divorce him, he will tell the entire family and their children that SHE was the one addicted to porn, and it is the reason he's divorcing her. My question is, what kind of person would treat his wife this way and think this is an appropriate way to save the marriage? -- TWISTED IN KENTUCKY DEAR TWISTED: Unfortunately, the husband has a problem greater than his porn addiction. It's his lack of character and honesty. His threat is not only inappropriate, but also a valid reason to end the marriage. P.S. I can't imagine why her family would buy that lie. NOSY BITCH: Give the guy a break. He just suffered a devastating trauma. Haven't you heard about Pornhub?

Allison Janney isn’t afraid to mix glam and gritty — who else would show up to an episode of the Property Brothers’ Celebrity I.O.U. in a ballgown and construction boots? The West Wing actress is the latest star to join Drew and Jonathan Scott on their HGTV spinoff show that features celebrities gifting home renovations as a way to give back to people who’ve helped them along the way. While plenty of big names have stopped by the home improvement show in the past, including Brad Pitt and Zooey Deschanel, Janney’s appearance is stirring up renewed appreciation for the actress on Twitter, where some are even calling her a “national treasure” after seeing a clip of her Celebrity I.O.U. cameo. And who could blame them? Janney takes Drew and Jonathan by surprise with an entrance fit for the movie star she is, strolling in wearing a backless gown accessorized by the finest safety equipment and asking the brothers, “Read to bust up some shit?” Picking up a sledgehammer like she’s an old pro, Janney tells them, “I do my best work when I’m dressed to the nines.” Janney then puts her skills to use, smashing down a cabinet door and making sure to “work the angles” while she’s at it. “I’m calling on the federal government to seize The Property Brothers’ show and give it to Allison Janney,” one twitter user wrote. Another added, “Allison Janney really said ‘oh, you thought you were DONE being in love with me after you finished West Wing?????'”

NORMAN, IS THAT YOU? That’s Psycho. An on-duty Los Angeles County sheriff’s deputy allegedly had sex with a woman near the Bates Motel section of the Universal Studios lot — and accidentally left his microphone on for a dispatcher to hear a blow-by-blow of the sleazy romp. TMZ obtained a clip of the X-rated encounter between the unnamed deputy and a woman near the section of the lot in Universal City devoted to the Alfred Hitchcock classic. “Oh,” the giggling woman moans at one point. “Oh, my goodness!” A female dispatcher then alerts the deputy that he had an “open mic” as the woman continues to moan and breathe heavily. “95 Ocean, you have an open mic,” the dispatcher implores the deputy to no avail as the woman continues to moan on the clip. “95 Ocean, you have an open mic — take care of mic.” The woman then quiets down as the minute-long clip ends. The deputy does not respond to the dispatcher on the portion obtained by the TMZ — and it’s unclear whether he was inside his patrol cruiser or was outside the vehicle nearby. The deputy — who has not been publicly identified — has been removed from duty as an internal investigation unfolds, department officials said. “The deputy was immediately relieved of duty and an administrative investigation has been opened,” sheriff’s officials told The Post in a statement early Wednesday. “The deputy’s peace officer powers have been suspended and proper administrative action will be taken, based on the outcome of the investigation.” A sheriff’s department spokesman declined to release additional information when reached for comment, including how long the deputy has been employed by the department.

What about your huge ego? ???:eek::rolleyes:

Which leads to the all-important question: Did you get any coupons or free food?

If they're well-hung with good personalities, maybe.

Every time I see your avatar, I want to call you LaRonda, because that's who Peter speaks to on the phone when he has those nails. It always makes me chuckle.

When I was in college and living with my aunt, that poster was on my wall. I never told her I was gay, but she may have figured it out. I found another one in a candy store in the Bronx after he died. I wound up selling both copies online. A friend of mine works as a camera man for CNN. They interviewed my late hubby before COVER UP started. My friend tried to reach me to tell me about it, but this was before cell phones & texting/email, so I had to settle for a bootleg unedited copy of the interview footage. I sold a few copies of it online, and still have a copy of it, in lousy condition.

No, it's just foreplay.

http://synd.imgsrv.uclick.com/comics/cl/2020/cl201223.gif

And if the guy has a fetish, maybe he'll pay you to let him do it.

DAMN! I thought you were going to regale us with tales of your hot sexual encounters with Judy Carne. BUMMER! ?