Typical

There is an old saying, that I don’t fully support but understand directionally, that “The customer is always right”. Arguing with, or in front of, potential customers is a mistake every single time. No one owes you business and controversy sends people away, especially in NYC, where there are hundreds of alternatives If you provide good service that is value for money, you will get repeat clients and referrals and all will be well. If you imagine you provide $400 service but it’s subpar, you will sit in your studio alone creating new ad content to hopefully gin up business. The standoffish “you are picking on me” attitude isn’t going to help you at all in this town. Nobody cares about your business challenges. One of your biggest problems here is that a well known contributor to this forum indicates you accepted a deposit, didn’t take the appointment, and blocked him. Your response was uninspiring asking him to jump through hoops and prove he sent a deposit. I think he made a mistake by sending a deposit (never, ever, ever send a deposit!), but was that resolved? If not, why would anyone make an appointment with you?

This really isn’t designed to be an advertising forum. I know that people do it and I’m unaware of any rules against, but the act invites a certain amount of ridicule. The more over the top ridiculousness of the sales pitch, the more ridicule it will unleash. If you think your business is singled out in this regard, let me introduce you to Yelp and Reddit. The deposit thing has been discussed ad nauseam. Probably 95% of deposit requests are linked to a scam attempt: I’ve never heard of one that wasn’t. That’s just an unfortunate reality. When you ask for a deposit you alienate a majority of potential customers. It’s not wise to send deposits with the current proliferation of fraud. Doing so is downright naive. Without deposits you will have some no shows. It’s the cost of doing business. Restaurants have to throw out unsold food. Retail establishments absorb theft. Hair salons try to fill no show slots with walk ins and sometimes can’t. The list goes on. It’s too bad, but, again, it’s realty. It’s a competitive market. You have to operate within the boundaries of the marketplace. Deposit requests are currently well outside those boundaries.

What are the chances the Welsh fitness instructor is doing massage work in Palm Springs, LOL? I wonder what he would think of his photo being used in this scam. I guess that’s another risk of social media exposure. Ugh.

I saw the new space about a week ago as they were moving in. Decorating was in progress. I think this will be the best Hush space so far. There is now a full bathroom within the suite, FWIW.

Of course it’s a scam. Deposit = Scam. If this person pictured has ever been within 500 miles of Palm Springs, or if he even exists, I’ll eat my television. They aren’t going to use a troll photo to get you to send $50.

This guy’s ad, from the photos, to the text, to the strange pricing, all say to me loud and clear: HE’S NUTS! I would be startled to hear that anyone had a satisfactory encounter with him from what I see. I’m surprised someone hasn’t been hurt. I’m relatively adventurous, but it wouldn’t occur to me to get in a room alone with him.

For clarity, you never saw Adam? You reached out (once?) and you didn’t get a response of any kind? Perhaps he missed the message or was away? thanks.

You, sir, were punked! LOL. $500 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 (Unless you were inquiring at the Four Seasons Grand Hotel du Cap-Ferrat Spa with a day pass and lunch included, something was lost in translation.).

Take it easy. Book (think) ahead with known therapists. Yes, most anyone who wants a deposit is a scam. We all know that by now. Are there any gay spas in Boston? I don’t know of any.

If the massage is good, and by good I mean professional competency, not just okay or good enough because he’s cute, then a $200 price point in NYC would be fine for the above described scenario. $250, I agree, would be silly and a fast pass. If the massage isn’t good, the whole event sounds pointless regardless of the fee amount. Aside from his looks or his body, is there an opinion on his massage competence?

Masseurs provide their photos because they are marketing their services and handsome fellas in general get more clients and can charge higher rates. The “equity” of the situation is that the client is PAYING, and generally they are paying multiples of the amount they could hire an unseen random person in a random storefront down the street. It shouldn’t matter what the client looks like. If a client does appear in a Grim Reaper outfit, the masseur can bolt the door! I think I have been asked once out of hundreds of appointments over the years for a photo. I simply ignored the request and the appointment proceeded just fine without another mention. In NYC it doesn’t seem to be a thing because there are plenty of options and most clients would move to next. But, as you say, people can do whatever they wish with photos or tipping or whatever, but a picture request of a client is, as a practical matter, pointless, unless a therapist is screening. Okay then; I’ll send a photo if I get a discount. 😅

I fail to see how a photograph might prevent a harrowing client experience. If a prospective client is a well recognized area sociopath, will he send his actual photo? If the client is a less publicly known sociopath, will he send a photo that indicates potential peril? Will he send the picture of him with his ninja sword in hand? Or his photo showing fangs and blood? I doubt it. If a client is nefarious, he probably won’t send a photo which indicates danger to establish an appointment, right? Presumably even homicidal maniacs keep reasonably innocuous pictures on hand for just such an occasion. it’s a nonsensical request.

No, I don’t think so. When you text them they, 99% of the time, reply with one or two rates that quite easily and logically fit within the app categories. Rarely is there a complex set of answers that can’t be easily described in the ad. So, again, what was the point of not including the price in the advertisement? Do they particular enjoy getting rate request messages all day long?

It seems like 90% of RM ads request that clients ask for rates rather than just state them plainly in the rates section. Why? I can’t decipher a good reason. Is dynamic pricing in play? Doesn’t seem like it. Is there an extra charge for displaying the info? It seems like a whole lot of fruitless back and forth must ensue. It’s annoying. Is there any rational point to it?

I feel like we might circle jerk this one to death over the few days. 🤪

I think this topic has run its course. We’ll agree to disagree, just like the long and boring specific tipping thread. That said, unless you have been elected President of the International Brotherhood of Masseurs, the financial arrangements between a client and a willing, of age therapist is emphatically and without any doubt whatsoever, none of your business at all. You have a right to an opinion. But so do I and every other person on this planet. They generally mean squat. Everyone should do their own thing. Therapists can choose to see clients or not. They can offer extras for a stated price, or not. They can choose to not offer any extras at all! Or offer them just to people who appeal for o them. No big deal. It either works for the parties or it does not. (I am certainly not including any potential human trafficking scenario in Bangkok in my opinion. That is a very different topic altogether. I’m talking about good old USA based grown men, most of whom could probably whip my ass! (Not in a sexual way)) Enjoy.

I once gave a large “tip” after a massage went way beyond what was expected and the masseur seemed offended. He handed all the excess back to me and said rather coldly “I don’t do that for money.” So I just firmly believe people outside the room should withhold comment and do what works best for them and the people they see. I see people who charge $200 and I pay $200, even though things may go well beyond standard service. But I see them multiple times a month and we have a nice relationship., such as it is. I’m no Adonis just getting it because. I’m pushing 60. But I am a regular. I show up on time and clean. I don’t push for anything the masseur doesn’t want to give and understand some days will be different from others. We always laugh a lot. There is never any drama. And I’m generally flexible on time - I don’t demand 6pm on Friday. I cheerfully take a slot that might otherwise be empty for them. I also don’t want to be thought of as a rich guy throwing money around just because I can to get exactly what I want. That’s offensive It works me and the folks I see and nothing regarding payment needs to be justified to anyone else. So tip away. I would never discourage that. But understand that there may be some other things just as important or perhaps more important in the transaction and don’t judge what other people do.

I personally don’t find on demand paid sex interesting. I’ve only done it twice and both times were unsatisfactory to me even though both guys were exactly my physical type. A massage gets us to the same room together generally unclothed, so the big logistics hurdles are over. Then if two consenting adults want to go for it, it’s more exciting than an explicit sex transaction, at least for me. If a masseur who has not committed to sex decides he actually wants to have sex with me, that’s a lot more fun in my book.

Is it a “cash grab” if you know about it up front? lol. I don’t like using other people’s showers, so I schedule appointments when I can go home after and use my own and I don’t necessarily require a shower beforehand. But if someone asked me to pay $15 for shower use I would just assume their fee is $20 more (who carries a $5?) and decide if the price is acceptable. That said, is certainly fair to include shower time into the appointment time. The masseur doesn’t need to provide extra shower time for free.

Just block him and ignore. It sounds like you brought someone into your home you hadn’t previously met and couldn’t necessarily trust. That is a huge mistake in any case. That is an open invitation to theft, robbery and attempted extortion. It’s much easier to flee than evict. The world is filled with weirdos, drug addicts, thieves and flat out desperados. These websites don’t vet their advertisers in any meaningful way, if at all. No home visits from people you don’t know or who are very well known and trusted people. Just don’t do it. Ever.

I think you’ve answered your own question. A massage appointment is supposed to be a relaxing, enjoyable experience, not an annoying run around at $300-$400. It’s not like you are going to start dating him. There are hundreds of masseurs in NYC. Time to move on!

I can’t imagine anything less appealing than a grown man asking for a birthday present. There is nothing wrong with saying “It’s my birthday and I’m treating myself to a massage” and then letting it go, maybe there will be a little treat. But ASKING for something free, or extra, or for a discount, would be cringe to say the least. We stop asking for birthday presents, cakes and ponies around age 10. That said, if you are turning 18 and need a good birthday spanking, let me know. 😉

Yes, warm, dim lighting! Bright, overhead lighting is perfect for surgical theaters, but appalling for massage studios. No fluorescent light ever. Never. Never. If it is daylight, have appropriate window covering. I’m amazed by this oversight. 100 watt bulbs coming on signal: HOLY SHIT, IT’S AN EMERGENCY - RUN!!!!!! Think 20-25 watts. Lamp. No overhead. (Then perhaps we won’t notice how your photos are manipulated.)

A lot of people become addicted to these procedures. The late, great Joan Rivers knew how strange her face became, but still couldn’t stop until it literally killed her. Of course the surgeons/providers tell their patients (victims?) that is all looks great and that naysayers are just jealous as the gravy train is real and very lucrative. it’s a drug.

Maybe link an ad when you post here so people can actually find you? Very few people want to make a 90 minute commitment with someone they haven’t previously met. That said, $165 for 90 minutes is low, so I guess that cuts both ways. In any case, while you are building a client base, it’s a good idea to offer shorter sessions at even a nominally reduced rate. I’ve never scheduled a 90 minute session with someone new to me and I probably wouldn’t. Also, for me scheduling a massage appointment depends on my mood and what’s going on at the time. It would never occur to me to book another appointment on the same day as finishing a session. My bookings are almost always same day requests when the mood strikes and I have the free time. This isn’t a root canal follow up.