Golem

Guys..with escorts..straight and gay they are not bi-sexual. They all are buy-sexual. I find the straight ones much easier to have fun with. Gay escorts will still have an attraction to you or not and most don't act very well to get over that. Straight escorts aren't attracted to any guys they are with. I've been with some of the hottest escorts talked about on here and none are even remotely attracted to men. They even tell me they hate when a young muscular guy hires them. That guy then gets very aggressive towards sex since he thinks "I'm hot so he will love it". Ain't so. The straight guys get attracted to honesty, integrity, repeats, cleanliness, lack of drama and respect. The more times you are with them the more they tend to do. And most guys straight or gay when they find out the pleasure of anal stimulation really get into it. Fill in the blanks guys...lol

I hate guys who say they are bisexual when they are really mainly or only straight. I realize it probably gets them more business. But it’s not honest. I’m sure I hired some straight guys in my day-I’m only really sure about one. But I didn’t even mean to do that. I’ll also admit to being tempted by straight escort Alain Deberry back when he was versatile. But I think it’s probably just as well we didn’t meet. I realize not everyone feels this way. But it was hard enough knowing a gay escort wasn’t attracted to me. But even with that I think in some cases I was able to get a genuine response from them. But with a straight escort knowing they had no real feeling for men-it would’ve bothered me.
 
Gman

Depends. Are they doing actual classical psychoanalysis with you (which is in many ways the epitome of non-directive therapy), or are they doing analytically-informed psychotherapy? If the former, you're unlikely to get homework no matter how you ask for it, and they definitely won't define goals for you. If the latter, you could probably just ask for it directly.
 
"Homework" as a term, and where you have a specific assignment to practice a specific skill, is pretty much a CBT thing. If you want it, ask for it; but I wouldn't expect most psychotherapists to automatically "assign" it every week and definitely wouldn't discount a therapist because they don't. Similarly, there may be a limit to how "smart" your goals can be on day one. Whether you and your therapist set very specific goals (and then update them as needed), or start with a more general, exploratory attitude before identifying what is truly at the heart of things for you, is a question of style and preference as much as anything.

You're right -- transference is definitely not reserved for client-therapist relationships, and does indeed happen frequently in most relationships.
 
The basic idea is just that we unconsciously "transfer" elements of our old, formative relationships, to interactions we have with people who are currently in our lives -- perhaps in the form of how we experience them, or assumptions we make without realizing it, or just the emotional cadence or expectations we bring to those interactions.
 
The reason transference is most often discussed in the context of therapy is because it is, again, a critical, on-the-table component of most psychotherapy. It is deliberately watched for in that context (which we don't usually do, elsewhere). A good therapy session thus plays a double role. On the one hand, it has a detached, reflective, analytical side to it, where you can sort out what's going on in your life with a third party who is external to it. At the side time, it is a hands-on laboratory experiment. Your interaction with the therapist is both the tool you use to shed light on your life, and a big part of what you use that tool on.

This can't be emphasized enough.
 
It doesn't just mean liking your therapist, because this relationship is itself an actual, on-the-table component of almost any successful therapy. So you need someone who you find it easy to communicate with, and who you trust to be "on your team" even when providing tough feedback.
 
Re training background and particular therapeutic techniques: the majority of therapists identify as having an "eclectic" theoretical orientation, meaning that they draw from multiple schools of thought, including both directive therapies (like CBT) and evocative therapies (like psychodynamic approaches). I wouldn't, however, write anyone off based on their training. There are certainly some MDs (= psychiatrists) who focus solely on meds, but I've known multiple psychiatrists who have been incredibly insightful on a non-biological level and have emphasized talk and relationships.

Apparently, she actually was injured in the bar, but it sounds like the real reason she left was the intense social media badgering she received between when that episode aired, and when the next one was filmed.

I prefer to keep the sex toys in my trunk.

I prefer to keep the sex toys in my trunk.

I looked into this and I question the accuracy of this information.
 
1) The only online source I can find that purports to have actual information about this case is a website (and associated twitter account) that very clearly has a homophobic, racist, etc. agenda.
 
2) Said website contains what appears to be a partial screenshot of a court records search. However, I question its legitimacy. The case number doesn't appear to be in the same format as any actual Arizona case I can find. The case title has no hits on google or on the state court records search. And the judge listed ("D. JUDGE") doesn't appear to exist.
 
3) There is one actual court record for this fellow in Arizona -- a speeding ticket.

I looked into this and I question the accuracy of this information.
 
1) The only online source I can find that purports to have actual information about this case is a website (and associated twitter account) that very clearly has a homophobic, racist, etc. agenda.
 
2) Said website contains what appears to be a partial screenshot of a court records search. However, I question its legitimacy. The case number doesn't appear to be in the same format as any actual Arizona case I can find. The case title has no hits on google or on the state court records search. And the judge listed ("D. JUDGE") doesn't appear to exist.
 
3) There is one actual court record for this fellow in Arizona -- a speeding ticket.

... and listening to some serious Horace's Epistles reciting from him if he's indeed familiar with the inspiration behind his tattoo.

I use the app Reversee and the pro version ($3.99) will search Google, Bing and Yandex (which is usually the most fruitful). It's got lots of neat features like scraping an entire page of all images and allowing you to search one-by-one. This works on a RentMent profile page - > paste in the URL for a profile and it will display all the profile pics and you can search for each one on all three search engines.

riverrun, past Eve and Adam's, from swerve of shore to bend of bay, brings us by a commodius vicus of recirculation back to Howth Castle and Environs.

fwiw, here's your previous inquiry......(from 13 yrs ago !!!)
 
https://www.companyofmen.org/threads/blonde-hairy-hunky.55218/

I've asked this question before but I couldn’t find the old thread. Can anyone recommend a decent hairy blond escort?
 
Thanks

Even more B.S. You cannot truthfully state, with any reasonable degree of certainty, that James "was not at my door." Why? Because you were brushing your teeth for 15 freaking minutes after you told someone to "come now" rather than wait 12 minutes until the original time you'd agreed to meet. Since you never went down in a timely manner to retrieve your guest, you cannot possibly know whether he was there at 11:17 when he texted you, 11:18 when you responded, or within a few minutes after that. All you know is that he wasn't there at 11:33 when you texted him asking where he was.
 
The notion that a professional (or anyone, really) should wait around for 15 minutes late at night in the dead of a New York winter, and then just proceed with an appointment and discount the time that you made him freeze outside in an unfamiliar neighborhood, all while he looked like a loiterer, lest he reveal (according to you and one other poster) poor character, displays such a lack of consideration, arrogance, and entitlement. The very fact that you stubbornly insist that you're in the right, here, is proof positive of this.
 
I'm not a cheerleader for James. I've never met or spoken with him, nor am I into muscle worship. So, he's not the kind of guy I'm typically into, or that I'd hire. I have no horse in this race, so to speak. This is just about right and wrong, and you, sir, are entirely in the wrong.

Dr.Mavin if you want what now appears to have become an endless ridiculous thread TO END you need to shut the fuck up and stop being bated into responding.

Being so entitled that you think you have the right to decide for others whether waiting in the cold for 15 minutes is a big deal for them or not.
 
Character indeed.
 
I was just in New York for New Years. I know how cold it's been there; more than once my fingertips were frozen solid way more quickly than anticipated on what I thought would be a 20 minute walk, forcing me to call an Uber after ten minutes of walking to finish my trip. No, I'm not waiting around in the cold for anybody for 15 minutes -- let alone freezing rain -- and I don't expect anyone else to do so either. Get over yourselves.

Entitled nonsense. Still making excuses, and why I say escorts need our own forum where we can review clients. Clients here have routinely ruined escorts' business with badmouthing and one-sidedness, and thank goodness there was someone here to flesh out the whole picture.
 
"Why would I him drive all the way over here to just play around with him?" Like it hasn't been done before lol You wasted this dude's time, not once, but TWICE. Was he supposed to come around a THIRD time and wait in New York winter cold AGAIN to try to find out if you were legit and not playing games? Get over yourself.
 
You lied about the amount of the deposit, claiming it was $100 when it was really $75.
You lied by omission failing to note you'd already made him wait in freezing cold rain.
You lied by omission failing to note you threatened the dude with bad reviews.
You lied by omission failing to note you harrassed the dude with texting and demands.
You still haven't told the truth about what was happening during the 15 minutes he waited for you a second time. Brushing teeth does not take 15 minutes.
 
Why should anyone trust or believe you? In a fair and just world, escorts would be writing reviews telling other escorts to steer cleer of you. I'm sure James XL is not perfect -- nobody is -- but you *really* need to check yourself. There's a reason why lots of guys don't have all five star reviews. Sometimes it's because they're not five star escorts. Other times it's because of rude, arrogant, dishonest clients.
 
There's a reason why James XL took of with $75 dollars of your money, and the reason is you.

You just keep digging that hole. Your story is changing, and not in ways that make you look better. First, you tell us you made him wait and he left and then you were peeved he didn't agree to return when you were ready to receive him. Now you're claiming you told him to leave (did you offer to pay him anything for his time, which you wasted?). You at least tacitly admit your fault by saying you've apologized (to us, at least -- you don't say you've apologized directly to him). Yet you still indirectly trash James by saying you "disagree" and that others are better. This was all your fault. Own it. And don't badmouth someone who showed up, was left high and dry, and uncompensated for his trouble. Your behavior was, to put it mildly, shoddy.

I'm sorry, but that makes no sense. Based on the portion of the texts you showed us, it's clear that James arrived a mere 13 minutes early, asked if he should come now or wait until your original 11:30 appointment, and you then told him to "come now". He did exactly as he was told, and then you didn't show up for apparently the second time. You next contacted him a full 15 minutes later with a BS excuse that you were brushing your teeth. Literally no one takes that long just to brush their teeth. If you needed the extra time you should have just told him to stick to the original 11:30 appointment time. Plus, it's winter now, and you shouldn't expect someone to wait outside in the cold while you take your time after you'd just told them to come now. Once you did that, it was only reasonable for him to expect you to arrive immediately, not 15 minutes later.
 
It is absolutely not believable that you thought that James was asking about leaving to come to your Brooklyn home from Manhattan, when he texted you only 13 minutes before your original 11:30 appt to ask if he should come now or wait until 11:30. If James really was asking about leaving from Manhattan, why would he ask about coming now or at 11:30, when it was already 11:17 when he texted you? Sure, there are some parts of Brooklyn that one can reach within 15 minutes from Manhattan. But no one would be asking about coming now or at 11:30 for an 11:30 appt, if he was still a minimum of 15 minutes away and it was already 11:17 at the time they asked you.
 
It's clear that you made up a bad excuse to cover for the fact that you lost track of time for the second time to this escort's detriment, and you then got offended when he decided to cut his losses with you. You owe the man several apologies: for wasting his time on both appointments, and then badmouthing him on this thread when he was the victim of your poor time management. You can also throw in another apology for chiming in on that other thread about James to say that you had a negative experience with him, when everything on this thread has established that you were entirely in the wrong, and it was you who inflicted multiple negative experiences upon him.

Thanks for all the feedback.
 
Patience turned out to be worth it. He eventually got back to me, and we met up.
 
And he was absolutely incredible

It's happened to me more than once.
 
And, it also happens in a significant portion of my non-rentguy activities.
 
I believe it has a lot to do with changing communication norms. The volume of information hitting humans on so many different platforms, in so many different forms..... its become acceptable to convey "not interested," "never mind," "not coming" or similar by simply ceasing to communicate. It's a form of Ghosting.
 
I hate it. I could write a rant about. But it's happening. And there's nothing to be done about it. Except, control my own reaction, recognize that the reason behind disappearing may have nothing to do with me, and the behavior of communication-cessation certainly doesn't reflect on me. So, I shrug, and move on.
 
I noticed in another thread, totally unrelated to this topic... someone wrote "you guys are so jaded!" Yeah, I am. I no longer expect civility. It takes a thicker skin to deal with some of today's communications norms.

It's not such an odd interest. Don't put yourself down (well, unless
it's done by....). This is also called "fear play" or D&H (domination &
humiliation). You are right--in my experience, most escorts were too
innately nice to do this convincingly. One guesses you need someone
slightly sociopathic or with excellent acting skills.

What I don't understand about the whole "Rentmen does it too" thing is that your main selling point, in all your posts here, has been that you are better than Rentmen and specifically that you will treat providers better.
 
The proof is in the pudding.