I had that experience, and, as mentioned in your post, I realized the downside. I phoned the provider and acknowledged my feelings and made it known that I understood that I could not/should not expect a return of those feelings. With that understanding, I told him that I was going to stop seeing him for a while to collect myself. After a time, I resumed our "business" relationship until he relocated. He was my first hire, and the one I shall always fondly remember.