When I was a teenager, I never thought that I would live to see 5o, and never really wanted to. I sort of lived my life like next year would never come. It was head down, full steam ahead, never caring what tomorrow would bring. It was a never ending party. I was quick to laugh, nothing burdened me, It was a good life. When I hit 5o, I almost went into cardiac arrest. I had not prepared myself, emotionally, physically, or financially for retirement. I suddenly not only wanted to live a long life, but I wanted to live a good life (for all that entailed) as well. That...was a rough decade. With planning, and a lot of luck, just shy of my 60th, I threw in the towel. It was liberating, exciting, and a little scary. I had made it, many of my friends had not. I became immensely grateful...for everything. To this day, I remain so.
Looking back, I was silly in my teens to think of my life in such short terms, now I want to live forever. They're going to have to take me out of this life kicking and screaming. I told my sister the other day, "When my time comes, and the doctors tell you to pull the plug, give it just a few more minutes, ya know...just in case." I promised her that whatever happens, that I would go with no regrets.