carlos45

Thanks, I appreciate the input.

Share your experience, if you'd be so kind.

I appreciate all of your responses.

I appreciate all of your responses.

I can understand the "heteronormative approach" because of the risk,of pregnancy. If a man has sex with someone else and that woman gets pregnant, the ramifications are awfully weighty. If the other woman decides to have the baby, then the man and by inevitable consequence his wife will pay a heavy emotional and financial price. If a woman has sex with another man & gets pregnant, the fallout is similarly life-changing.
 
To those gay men who have an open marriage, if it works for all involved, more power to ya!

I forgot where I heard the old saying, and it was directed towards traditional style couples (is it still Pc to say that?), that if you put a penny in a jar each time you have sex during the first year of marriage, and then start taking the pennies out each time you have sex after the first year ends, you will never empty the jar.
 
On the other hand Dr Oz mentioned that men can continue into their 80s. The trick is to keep at it because once you stop boinking your partner, you'll likely never start again. He also talked about health and diet choices and the effect on erection function and so on.
 
Finally, if the excitement is lacking, isn't that something a couple can figure out together? The others in this thread that talk about binding a couple together with sex have a strong point.
 
I am saddened how often people return their dog to the shelter when the canine companion reaches senior years, and really wonder if that is what people do with each other when they decide they have lost interest.
 

From my perspective, what usually causes sex problems in relationships isn't that people grow apart, but that they become emotionally fused. They depend too heavily on one another's validation, which becomes tiring and old and causes each to have less respect and therefore interest in the other. It's essential a struggle between being connected to another and having autonomy.
 
This is a natural occurrence in relationships, but in order to get the relationship and sex back to a healthy place, each person has to become more "differentiated", in other words learning to stand on their own two feet, be able to self-validate and have a stronger sense of self, rather than just being 1/2 of a relationship.
 
Kind of like what @Rudynate said, his partner opened up, express his interest in getting fisted (differentiation) and that sparked a positive shift.
 
Most people avoid saying or sharing things with their partner that are uncomfortable, but conflict is natural and when handled respectfully, is the key to growth and increased intimacy.

So much better than the 'traditional'/heteronormative approach of suppressing your urges until they spill out in an affair, or 'cheating', thus destroying an otherwise excellent relationship. Bravo.

Thanks, escortrod. Believe me, it wasn't easy to have that conversation. But after 11 years of no sex, only masturbating, and going the heteronormative/suppression route, I knew something had to change. I've always had a fairly healthy libido, but the intensity of what I'm feeling now in my early 40s has really taken me by surprise. I realize we don't live forever, and I want to experience lots of sex before I die.

Both partners change, physically and mentally. Unless both of their tastes happen to constantly coincide with who their other half becomes, there's a good chance the sex will wane.

He's not my type.

Nice butt on that boy. He needs to start traveling....

+1

That's always hot.
 
I've had a few working guys without me touching them, them touching themselves, or talking sexually or dirty in anyway... get hard pretty much automatically. I remember one particular fav had begun to undress in front of me. We were talking about going to see Man of Steel (no pun intended). As he stood in front me in only some sexy underwear. I clearly saw he was getting aroused. So I said to him I haven't even touched you yet. He responded, "It's because I know what's going to happen." Something similar happened with at least two other guys. These are men I’ve seen many times previously.
 
Anticipation is a wonderfully powerful thing.

For my second, and sadly, last meeting with Aaron Westin, I asked if he could answer the door, naked. He didn't think it was a good idea, as he thought there may have been people in the hallway. I agreed with him. I tweaked my nips, (for good luck), as I got out of the elevator. When I reached his door, it was ajar and I went in, closed the door behind me, and announced myself. Aaron proceeded to walk out, while brushing his teeth, completely and gloriously, naked. As long as I live, I will never forget the impressive sight of him. He was staying a few blocks away from my apartment, and whenever I walk by the building, that wonderful memory comes back.

I hired Jake Deckard a number of time for a massage, he always give a good experience.

If you get the chance, do it. He is so, worth it.

always wanted to try him

Logan Vaughn: It was sensual, erotic, and very satisfying. He's a great kisser, and sweetheart of a guy.

I am happy to report that I've been texting Jake, and we have a massage session scheduled for this Friday. I am very excited to actually meet him in person. Thanks to those here who encouraged me to persist.

When I was with Haus he made me feel like it was just us. He was unforgettable.

When I was with Haus he made me feel like it was just us. He was unforgettable.

The ones I remember hiring are Colby Jansen (before he became a pornstar or took that name) and Haus Weston. Spent the night with "Colby" in Las Vegas, and he was quite the gentleman, plus very hot and steamy in the bedroom department - definitely enjoyed that time with him, although that was about 10 years ago.
 
Haus was my favorite of all time - met him twice in L.A. and he was such a sweet guy. The first time we talked for the longest time in my hotel room, and got along famously, then when it came to bedroom activities, he seemed to know *exactly* what to do to turn me on - I was impressed. The second time, I had gone out to L.A. area with a friend, and had planned to spend the night with Haus. Stupidly, I had carried $1500 in cash with me on the trip for that purpose - first hotel I stayed at north of L.A., I prudently placed the money in an envelope in a safety deposit box, then after checking out I retrieved the envelope, and put it in a zipped compartment of a small carry-on piece of luggage I had in the back seat of the car. Once down in L.A. area, I had to drop my friend off at a different hotel, so parked the rental car in the hotel garage, and went in for no more than 15 minutes to see that he was all set and checked in. Then went back to the car, and noticed that the back windows were partially down, which seemed odd, because I didn't remember lowering them. Anyway, drove off to my hotel, checked in, and was getting ready to shower to meet Haus when I checked to make sure the money envelope was there, and it was GONE. Well, needless to say I panicked - and when Haus got to the hotel, I told him what had happened, and being the great guy he is, offered to drive us over to the other hotel to interrogate the hotel and/or garage staff ( and I figured having his imposing presence there couldn't hurt!) - naturally, the shift of employees that had been there before were now gone. Anyway, we went back to my hotel, and Haus offered to spend some time with me regardless, though not overnight, and told me just to send him the lesser amount for our shorter meeting after I returned home and when I was able to. How's THAT for fundamental goodness in a person, huh? Anyway, once I got home, I found out that I was able to recoup most of the funds lost through an insurance policy I had for my business, and Haus did get his fee ultimately. I really miss that guy so much - he was a true gem. I was so sad to hear of his passing at such a young age.

Haus Weston was a MAJOR fantasy of mine. You guys are lucky to have met him. So jealous. I was sad when he passed.