This kind of thing never ceases to amaze me.
As gay men in the dating world, we all stress about our insecurities.. Is he into me? Am I hot enough for him? Am I doing it right? Do I live up to his other sex partners?
Hiring a provider is the one scenario where you can - at long last - unburden yourself of all that bullshit. And if you're hiring the right provider, and he cares about your experience, he knows it's his job to create a safe space and to facilitate that unburdening. The lengths that we'll go to to sabotage that unburdening really speak to how deep these insecurities cut.
Give yourself a break from worrying about the bullshit! Let yourself enjoy the purity of the actual situation you have available to you. Let your provider be the one to worry if you like him. Let him be the one to worry if you'll hire him again. And let him have the freedom to compartmentalize his private sex life the way he pleases.
In that case I always nominate my regular breeding bottom @DamizzonNYC
The visible elation every load he gets supersedes any orgasm. It’s a wonder I don’t owe him child support by now.
