FaustOust

It seems there are some providers who will accept PayPal, Venmo, CashApp, or other money transfer services. Are others finding this convenient or do most people still use cash?

Does anyone have any experience with or can recommend a duo who would travel well together with a client? Any advice on how to secure such an arrangement?

I appreciate your responses in helping me put this situation in perspective. Sometimes, one feels like he is hiring in a vacuum. The providers usually have more experience generally in the hiring situations than I have, and I can easily be gaslighted into believing that I am either being unreasonable or that their behavior and expectations are quite the norm, as they take advantage of my mindset that I am fortunate to have them or as they exploit my avoidance of conflict out of fear they will move on.

I normally get up between 7 and 7:30AM. I don’t think that is particularly early. I don’t expect that he get up at 7, but he usually sleeps until about 10 or 10:30, goes to the gym and we might not start our time together until noon or even 1 o’clock. Sometimes I go out or exercise myself and return to him still asleep. Never has he awoken before me. We did discuss this, but it never occurred to me that I should have to put him on an hourly schedule. Of course, I agreed that he should be able to sleep at night and have personal time in the gym, but I didn’t think that personal time would consistently take up an entire morning.

I normally get up between 7 and 7:30AM. I don’t think that is particularly early. I don’t expect that he get up at 7, but he usually sleeps until about 10 or 10:30, goes to the gym and we might not start our time together until noon or even 1 o’clock. Sometimes I go out or exercise myself and return to him still asleep. Never has he awoken before me. We did discuss this, but it never occurred to me that I should have to put him on an hourly schedule. Of course, I agreed that he should be able to sleep at night and have personal time in the gym, but I didn’t think that personal time would consistently take up an entire morning.

I have hired a provider to go away with me, and we have done a few weekend trips together previously. When we travel together, I find that he sleeps in every day and upon waking leaves to spend hours at the gym or wherever. He usually says he’ll be right back, but I may not see him for hours until the afternoon, which troubles me as a morning person. He told me that I should know that he needs his personal time. Although I recognize that when traveling people may need time on their own or may need to attend to things, but if he got up earlier maybe half the day (which he is charging me for) wouldn’t be lost with his sleeping and exercise, especially on a trip that only lasts a weekend. Is this a reasonable expectation? Is he just trying to spend as little time with me as he thinks he can get away with while enjoying a free vacation? How should I broach the subject further or should I just move on?

Yes, it is a huge leap to think that, because @MeatHead wasn’t talking about Irish ghettos in New York or European Jewish ghettos. It was clear to whom he was referring and why he chose that reference in the context of his comment about “hood people.” He knew he was talking about Black people and how to convey it. His own race is irrelevant to that. The etymology of “ghetto” is merely a history lesson that might explain how it evolved to current usage, but @MeatHead was obviously not using the word in an historical context as that would be nonsensical.

No, it’s a coded dog whistle. Everyone knows of whom you speak without you mentioning race. That’s why the word works to convey the sense you feel you can’t say. You can thereby back out of it semantically when called on it. If you were simply speaking of behavior and nothing else, like drinking in the street and fighting, you wouldn’t have categorized the type of people, in your view, engaging in the behavior, let alone call them “hood people.” You would just describe the behavior. You chose not to do that and instead refer to where you thought they were from as being the hood or ghetto for one obvious reason — to convey a more powerful image, a racially loaded image, of the people without you having to say it explicitly.

“Crowded with hood people” sounds like it’s just a euphemism for there were too many Black people present for your comfort level at what you expected to be an almost exclusively white gathering — which many Pride celebrations are.

Although I am sure they are being truthful in your case, that is something escorts say to clients. Addressing the client as “Handsome” is Escorting 101. It can also be a way of not having to recall your name in that moment.

Do they know your real name?

How important to you is eye contact during sex? I like it, particularly in a position that lends itself to eye contact, but I have noticed that some guys, even then, close their eyes or look elsewhere. I remember once when a guy ordered me to look him in the eyes as I was blowing him. It was very hot. I think eye contact can be used to turn up the heat in a situation, and I am surprised how many guys seem like they are drifting off somewhere else with their eyes shut or looking somewhere else while doing the deed.

There have been a couple of occasions, either following several hours or overnight together, I have asked a provider, “What is your name?” or “Is such and such your real name?” On one of those occasions, one told me he was not willing to share his name yet, and on the other, the provider just said that he had an uncommon first name and would rather not say. In each of those cases, I respected their wishes not to reveal their first names to me and didn’t pressure. I said something like “oh I understand, no problem,” and dropped it. In each of those cases, the guy knew my real name and in one case, he could have known both my given name and surname. However, I am not sure why, but after having established what seemed to be a connection with someone, I wanted to call them by their real name — rather than a pseudonym or a screen name. Is this a reasonable desire — or is everyone, clients and providers, just sharing fake names with one another as part of some invented identity for escorting? Do people know the real identities of their regulars? For me, it seems to have been a one way street, where I have not hidden my name or even facts about my life, but the escort won’t be equally as honest or forthcoming.

Many have been in this hobby long enough to notice shifts —some subtle, some seismic. And lately, I’ve found myself wondering: where is this all going? I don’t just mean how or where we find escorts (though that’s changed too over time), but what the whole dynamic even means anymore. Is the traditional client-escort relationship evolving? Is it at risk? There’s a lot packed in there that individually may have been points of discussion , but as far as macro-impact, a few trends and questions have been on my mind: Has digital replaced desire? With OnlyFans, X (Twitter), and other platforms offering endless virtual engagement, are fewer guys actually booking in-person time? And if so—why? The BFE shift: Most escorts seem to offer some emotional connection as part of the package. Is that real, or just something to say in clever marketing? Pricing, professionalism, and polish: There’s been a definite rise in high-end presentation with online platforms such as OF, JFF, even among newcomers. Is the industry becoming more professional—or just more performative? Client anonymity and risk: With online visibility, reviews, and social platforms, is client confidentiality at risk? Legal and logistical concerns: Do current laws and payment platform crackdowns make this work harder to access and sustain for everyone involved? To fellow clients: Have your booking habits changed? Are you finding it easier or harder to connect meaningfully? To the escorts: How do you see your role changing? What are clients doing now that feels different from even 5 years ago?

You’re Not A Sex Worker — Stop Pretending To Be One WWW.HUFFPOST.COM “Inaccurately claiming to be a sex worker feels disrespectful to people who experience discrimination and... I stumbled across the above article about civilians appropriating the experience of sex workers for their own benefit. It seems to address the issue mostly among straight women, but is this a phenomenon in the gay community? I can’t imagine why someone would fake something like that. Are there men who want others to believe that they are or have been sex workers when in fact they were not? Does the appropriation of the experience of sex workers buy some sort of street cred in the gay community?