FaustOust

Yes, it is a huge leap to think that, because @MeatHead wasn’t talking about Irish ghettos in New York or European Jewish ghettos. It was clear to whom he was referring and why he chose that reference in the context of his comment about “hood people.” He knew he was talking about Black people and how to convey it. His own race is irrelevant to that. The etymology of “ghetto” is merely a history lesson that might explain how it evolved to current usage, but @MeatHead was obviously not using the word in an historical context as that would be nonsensical.

No, it’s a coded dog whistle. Everyone knows of whom you speak without you mentioning race. That’s why the word works to convey the sense you feel you can’t say. You can thereby back out of it semantically when called on it. If you were simply speaking of behavior and nothing else, like drinking in the street and fighting, you wouldn’t have categorized the type of people, in your view, engaging in the behavior, let alone call them “hood people.” You would just describe the behavior. You chose not to do that and instead refer to where you thought they were from as being the hood or ghetto for one obvious reason — to convey a more powerful image, a racially loaded image, of the people without you having to say it explicitly.

“Crowded with hood people” sounds like it’s just a euphemism for there were too many Black people present for your comfort level at what you expected to be an almost exclusively white gathering — which many Pride celebrations are.

Although I am sure they are being truthful in your case, that is something escorts say to clients. Addressing the client as “Handsome” is Escorting 101. It can also be a way of not having to recall your name in that moment.

Do they know your real name?

How important to you is eye contact during sex? I like it, particularly in a position that lends itself to eye contact, but I have noticed that some guys, even then, close their eyes or look elsewhere. I remember once when a guy ordered me to look him in the eyes as I was blowing him. It was very hot. I think eye contact can be used to turn up the heat in a situation, and I am surprised how many guys seem like they are drifting off somewhere else with their eyes shut or looking somewhere else while doing the deed.

There have been a couple of occasions, either following several hours or overnight together, I have asked a provider, “What is your name?” or “Is such and such your real name?” On one of those occasions, one told me he was not willing to share his name yet, and on the other, the provider just said that he had an uncommon first name and would rather not say. In each of those cases, I respected their wishes not to reveal their first names to me and didn’t pressure. I said something like “oh I understand, no problem,” and dropped it. In each of those cases, the guy knew my real name and in one case, he could have known both my given name and surname. However, I am not sure why, but after having established what seemed to be a connection with someone, I wanted to call them by their real name — rather than a pseudonym or a screen name. Is this a reasonable desire — or is everyone, clients and providers, just sharing fake names with one another as part of some invented identity for escorting? Do people know the real identities of their regulars? For me, it seems to have been a one way street, where I have not hidden my name or even facts about my life, but the escort won’t be equally as honest or forthcoming.

Many have been in this hobby long enough to notice shifts —some subtle, some seismic. And lately, I’ve found myself wondering: where is this all going? I don’t just mean how or where we find escorts (though that’s changed too over time), but what the whole dynamic even means anymore. Is the traditional client-escort relationship evolving? Is it at risk? There’s a lot packed in there that individually may have been points of discussion , but as far as macro-impact, a few trends and questions have been on my mind: Has digital replaced desire? With OnlyFans, X (Twitter), and other platforms offering endless virtual engagement, are fewer guys actually booking in-person time? And if so—why? The BFE shift: Most escorts seem to offer some emotional connection as part of the package. Is that real, or just something to say in clever marketing? Pricing, professionalism, and polish: There’s been a definite rise in high-end presentation with online platforms such as OF, JFF, even among newcomers. Is the industry becoming more professional—or just more performative? Client anonymity and risk: With online visibility, reviews, and social platforms, is client confidentiality at risk? Legal and logistical concerns: Do current laws and payment platform crackdowns make this work harder to access and sustain for everyone involved? To fellow clients: Have your booking habits changed? Are you finding it easier or harder to connect meaningfully? To the escorts: How do you see your role changing? What are clients doing now that feels different from even 5 years ago?

You’re Not A Sex Worker — Stop Pretending To Be One WWW.HUFFPOST.COM “Inaccurately claiming to be a sex worker feels disrespectful to people who experience discrimination and... I stumbled across the above article about civilians appropriating the experience of sex workers for their own benefit. It seems to address the issue mostly among straight women, but is this a phenomenon in the gay community? I can’t imagine why someone would fake something like that. Are there men who want others to believe that they are or have been sex workers when in fact they were not? Does the appropriation of the experience of sex workers buy some sort of street cred in the gay community?

As primarily a bottom guy, I have wondered what makes a good top. When I was younger and less sexually experienced, I would call myself a top primarily until I experienced a great top who turned me on to being a bottom. Sometimes I associated exclusive tops with inexperience, as was my case. Does being a bottom make you a better top? I don’t think the reverse is true. So who are the best tops: exclusive tops who have never or only once bottomed; the truly versatile who are indifferent to topping or bottoming; or the bottom who maybe only rarely has performed as a top?

The inverse of this is can also be true. I think that for many escorts there is a rush in knowing that someone would pay $1,000 (or whatever sum) just to be in your presence naked. There is power, albeit fleeting, in inspiring that level of desire. It seems to me that the one receiving the money,and not the one paying, has the upper hand in the power dynamic, particularly at this level.

I think anyone can be asked their political affiliation; the real matter is whether one chooses to answer the question and the consequences for answering truthfully. I would take political affiliation in account for hiring if the provider’s extreme political views were already known to me or would potentially present danger, particularly for a BFE— for example, I would not go on a date with a known Nazi, or someone with Nazi tattoos, or someone who was any other avowed racial supremacist. Moreover, with that knowledge, I would find any sexual encounter with them repulsive.

FWIW, this is not a fully accurate statement. Extradition treaties apply to those indicted for a crime, which JLo has not been, not subpoenas, and she could not be “easily” subpoenaed. A subpoena to testify from a US court is technically only valid within a US jurisdiction with personal jurisdiction and cannot be effectively served in another foreign, sovereign state. However, the exception would be a US national in a foreign jurisdiction; and to compel that testimony a plaintiff or prosecutor has a very high bar to overcome. Those compelling testimony would have to demonstrate to the US court, under a statute enabling it to do so, that there was no other way to get information essential to the case but through this person’s testimony, and that without it the case could not be effectively prosecuted so as to have a miscarriage of justice. Only then could the US Court ask the foreign court with personal jurisdiction over JLo (through what are called Letters Rogatory) to serve the US subpoena. They likely would have to go through the process again to enforce it, if she chose to ignore the subpoena while she was abroad (although if she returned there could be penalties.) So leaving the country, for all intents and purposes, is actually a very effective way to avoid the risk of being compelled to testify in a case or certainly delay the eventuality of testifying considerably, because of the time and cost involved once a prosecutor met the very high bar of persuading a US court to ask a foreign court to intervene to serve a subpoena.

Do you ever feel like you’re a widget on an assembly line with popular providers and their schedules? Or with more experienced escorts, who have likely seen every situation, fielded every request, and are familiar with every scene, just a variable inserted in a formula, or a play in a playbook, or a fill-in-the-blank BFE?

Should one reasonably expect that a provider not check out Grindr while on a multi-hour, overnight, weekend, or extended appointment? There is something about it that makes me uncomfortable. I fear that he is distracted from his time with me and seeking to hook up while on my dime. Although, I don’t think I would feel the same way if he had to check email or texts. I just don’t feel that I should pay for his online cruising.