Statham

You guys all have incredible feedback. It's why I posted here so thank you so much. 

On 5/11/2023 at 3:59 PM, MscleLovr said:

Trust me on this: you are not, you are in the first flush of physical lust and romantic affection. And No, you don’t know - just because he says so may mean he’s polite or he’s from a different cultural background (Hispanic?) or he may be as giddy as you are.

You haven’t said anything about your experiences and prior relationships. Perhaps you were rather alone (or lonely) before you met him. Also you haven’t said what country he’s from. 
 

I’d strongly suggest you go slowly. And in response to your questions:

Take the time to get to know him fully.
Stop paying him for his time (and services) and see how that plays out.

Do not buy him an expensive gift just because you “make a lot more money”. Rather, you should get him a thoughtful gift (maybe a book he’s wanted to read) - something that shows you’ve listened to him and thought of him. See if he reciprocates. 
 

Bear in mind the golden rule - everyone behaves at their best in the early meetings - so see him in a variety of settings, watch how he handles other people, ask yourself if he’s kind, and check online that he’s honest (there’s a lot of information online so check that what he tells you is accurate and truthful).

Thanks for all the feedback. Wow. Okay. 

I'm fully self-aware where I am, at least in my own little world. 

Your advice is amazing and I took it and got him a hat this past weekend. 

On 5/11/2023 at 4:01 PM, dutchal said:

+1  I mean this as gently as possible, but you're more likely at the infatuation stage.  There are lots of article around along these lines: 

Infatuation vs. Love: How to Tell the Difference So You Don't Waste Time or Energy on a Bad Thing

WWW.PUREWOW.COM

---

Things are going great. But is it infatuation or love? A relationship expert tells us how to tell the difference when it comes to love vs infatuation.

Take a look at a few and see if your recognize yourself.  That being said, it is not at all impossible for you to meet, fall in love, and marry a guy working as an escort.  But you had better have a deep understanding of what inside of him led him to become an escort and what those characteristics and values mean for his relationships with others.  To be a good escort, you have got to be very good at compartmentalizing and hiding your true feelings and good at acting like you have feelings that you really don't.  Those are talents or habits that could easily sabotage a "real" relationship if the escort does not completely shed them when he's with you.

Definitely in the deep infatuation stage here. FUCK it feels so good. 

Just to set the bar, I used marry as a word in my original post as a trigger for both myself and everyone else. Sure there is a world I see there but it's not even the first thing on my mind. It's just where it's headed. lol

On 5/11/2023 at 5:54 PM, Matt_Vancouver redux said:

Ok. As a former escort, I feel I can weigh in here 

I met my husband of when he hired me 20 years ago.:)

I was absolutely not looking for a love connection, but when it happens it happens.

We stayed professional for about 6 months before I just said fuck it and started seeing him socially. 

It absolutely can work. As long as there is NO power dynamic. You have to always consider each other as equals or it's not gonna work.

Hope this helps

Very good advice and thank you for posting. I want a real man who can stand at the top of his mountain right next to mine. That's incredibly attractive. It's insanely attractive actually. 

On 5/12/2023 at 11:04 AM, marylander1940 said:

For him to get a green card or for real love both ways? 

We touched on this last week. He has a green card and is taking the citizenship test next month, with or without me. I'm comfortable here. 

Just now, pubic_assistance said:

Do you really ?

This will be a question I probably forever ask myself. 

It's been about three weeks now. 

Oh man, I need some advice and don't know where else to turn. Please go easy on me but also have something to contribute and be honest. I'd love to make this short, but the background needs to be given. 

About two years ago, I started hiring to fill a few needs, mainly because it involved established boundaries and I didn't want anything more. That worked and I met some excellent escorts along the way. I hired one in my home city about once a month. Last month, I was going to hire him but he had friends in from out of town and couldn't make it. He and I follow each other on Instagram and noticed that he was at dinner with a really fucking handsome guy who took my breath away. I texted him and asked who it was and if he escorted as well. He said the guy did and I jokingly said "send him over instead" 

Well, he did. I met the guy, and we had a great night and I paid him and he went on his way. The next day the new escort I met texted me and said what a great time he had and that he was in town until the following week. I said come over and let's do everything again. Same price, same time. 

So, he agreed and he did. This time we spent all night together. Uncluding the following morning, afternoon, and the next night. When I say spending time, I mean talking sitting on the beach, pouring our souls out to each other. He gave me 3x the amount of time and didn't want to take any money at all, but I insisted. 

Fast forward a couple of days and we text 24x7. I'm completely in love with this man at this point. I know he feels the same way. He wants to take me back home to his country to meet his family, the entire nine yards. 

I am going to be in his home city this coming week for work. He wants me to cancel the hotel and come stay at his place. He offered me a key to his apartment, everything. I mentioned in conversation over the past week that I could be poor one day and my company could go under and he said he could sit in a room with me eating a sandwich together and he would be the happiest man on the planet. 

For some perspective, there isn't a huge disparity here. We are both mid-40's. I'm pretty sexy and handsome and genuine and accomplished. He is as well. It's not like I am 75 and he is 25, or some other huge disparity like 500 lbs of weight or anything. We are smilar. 

So I am already head over heels in love with the guy. I actually see a point where we get married and have kids. Legit. He says he does as well, and we can work through that. My questions really: 

1. Am I just fucking crazy and what am I not seeing? 
2. How do I get over my guy core feeling that we met on RM under a client/provider relationship? 
3. Does the "Pretty Woman" fantasy actually exist? In that movie, I keep trying to answer the question: "Who saves who?" and know it can be mutual. I think I might have that here. 
4. I have thought about bringing this all up with him. He doesn't want money to hang out anymore. But the reality is also that I make a lot more money than him and want to provide, and travel, and "take care" of him if he will let me. What do I actually say? Like what are the words? 

I really don't know who else to talk about this. Also -- I am a seasoned poster on these forums. I created this handle to be anonymous so as not to have any of my past posts linked to this one, and also so there is no talk in 'escort circles' about this. 

Please throw me whatever you got.