@Jamie21, thank you for the end-of-week humor.
One of my "favorite" experiences of this sort ended up with me making a joke of it was a spa on 10th Avenue and 47th/48th Street in NYC where the masseurs were primarily Russian. I was only expecting a good, deep massage, and maybe a basic HJ for an HE. The masseur started asking me 15 minutes in if I wanted more... when I asked what he meant, I'm not exaggerating when he started listing $25 to take his shirt off, $25 to take his shorts off (underwear still on), $50 to take his underwear off (no touching), $50 to touch his privates, $50 for me to get an HE, so I just went ahead and asked how much to blow him ($150). I asked if any of this was cumulative though I knew I wasn't going to go there, and when he said no, all individual charges, I laid there, still on my stomach, and did the math quickly, and said plus the $75 massage for the house, that would be about $425. He said yes. I told him just to finish the massage.