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If the Shoe Fits ... Isn't the Shoe Enough?


Moondance
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If the Shoe Fits...

 

An American missionary travels to a remote island in the South

Pacific. Upon arriving, he is greeted by jubilant tribesmen and

dancing hula girls, all chanting a song whose chorus contains the

syllable "foo" repeated over and over.

 

The tribal chieftain tells the missionary that he is just in time for

the "Foo Festival," a traditional time of homage and respect for a

local bird which is revered as a powerful, godlike being. The

missionary smiles and nods at the myths of these simple people, and

asks to learn more about the Foo Bird.

 

The chief says that the bird, although small, is known for its copious

feces. In fact, the chief points out, the whole island is encrusted

with dried Foo doo. It is considered to be a great honor for the Foo

Bird to fly above your domicile and bless your roof with his

droppings. The Foo Bird's excrement brings good fortune and blessings

to all the people, and it would be a sin to disturb the piles of Foo

poo that have accumulated everywhere.

 

The missionary is a bit disconcerted by this strange belief, and he

begins to say something when he hears a tiny "chirp!" and a blob of

avian doody lands on his shoulder. He looks up to see that above him

flaps the Foo Bird, ready to drop another load.

 

Disgusted, the missionary takes out his handkerchief and wipes away the Foo feces.

 

He drops dead on the spot.

 

The chief looks at down him sadly and says, "Truly it is written: If

the Foo shits, wear it!"

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