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Colonoscopy and Comments


jackhammer91406
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1. "Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has ever gone before!"

2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"

3. "Can you hear me NOW?"

4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

5. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."

6. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"

7. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."

8. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"

9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!"

10. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."

11. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"

12. "God, now I know why I'm not gay."

And the best one of them all...........

 

 

13. "Could you write a note to my wife telling her that my head is not up there?

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Sorry, but is this supposed to be funny? Perhaps you have not lost any family to colon cancer. I have lost a sibling to that disease, and as such, perhaps it's just me, but I find your posting offensive and crass! :-(

 

Colon examinations are a vital procedure that should be done for anyone over 50, as colon cancer is very curable if caught early enough to be treated. What next, want to post some AIDS jokes, or is that too "close to the hearth" to be used as cannon fodder for your humor? :-(

 

Maybe, I'm out of line, but your posting, is the ugliest, crassest pos posting that I've read on this site in a long, long time! The next time you want to spout off about civility and preach to some of the others here for their lack of such, I hope you will recall this tactless post of yours! x( Damn, I really need a better icon to express my disgust, than the ones available!

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Do your patients a BIG favor and RETIRE! You're disgusting in your celebration of tasteless jokes about an IMPORTANT medical procedure! You're REAL funny, but I'm glad you're not my doctor, as I would want a doctor who was more concerned with my health, than being a "wannabe clown"! x(

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RE: The need for humor.

 

"Sorry, but is this supposed to be funny?"

 

I had no difficulty finding the humor. But I like to laugh.

 

"I have lost a sibling to that disease"

 

Who hasn't lost a relative to some form of cancer? Do you think you're so special, VaHawk? Overly sensitive people are a real pain in the ass. Finding humor in tragedy is great therapy. Induce that dump already, your constipation is tiresome.

 

"...perhaps it's just me...Maybe, I'm out of line..."

 

The only cogent thing you offered in this post.

 

"What next, want to post some AIDS jokes"

 

The joke was about a procedure that's been the brunt of jokes forever. A colonoscopy is not a disease. Comparing a colonoscopy to AIDS is SO over the top. They call them drama queens for a reason. Reel it in, dear.

 

"Damn, I really need a better icon to express my disgust"

 

You're not alone here. I didn't find your post disgusting, just disheartening. A sense of humor is SO important, especially when shit happens. Sometimes you seem like you're no fun. :(

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RE: The need for humor.

 

"Sometimes you seem like you're no fun."

 

Well, sometimes I'm not. I'm sorry, as I just don't find anything humorous about jokes about people's illnesses, or procedures that would prevent such illness/unnecessary loss of life. But then again, I could hope that someday, God will give me a straw brain so I, like some people, can be a mindless idiot! laughing at star shaped turds in the commode and drooling over my bowl of oatmeal! :-( It would be great to be a mindless, drooling idiot! :7 as I could celebrate my own idiocy, like some on this site!, and praise/market such idiocy at $400/hr! x(

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RE: The need for understanding.

 

"I'm sorry, as I just don't find anything humorous about jokes about people's illnesses."

 

Typically, only a gentlemen knows the value of saying, "I'm sorry." I didn't require an apology but I think many will appreciate seeing those words in this recent reply.

 

I reiterate, a colonoscopy is NOT an illness, it's a procedure, and one that's been the brunt of jokes since the procedure acquired its name.

 

My mother died of cancer and I took a year off from work to care for her. My four closest friends, who nurtured and mentored me while pursuing a career in NYC, all died of AIDS. My entire history with these fabulous men - the deep, loving friendships with supremely talented guys who taught me how to be a man and taught me the true meaning of love - cut from my life forever. I'm left with memories. All I'm saying, dear, is try to lighten up.

 

ps Regarding Quasimodo and Monet: Very few people love art more than me. I spend much time in museums around the world. But commercial art is very much a part of my life and career and I'm surrounded by creative people who take their respective crafts seriously. Art comes in all shapes and sizes and I try never to discriminate and limit my vision to some snobbish ideal. A life without creative people is not a life for me.

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RE: The need for understanding.

 

>Typically, only a gentlemen knows the value of saying, "I'm

>sorry." I didn't require an apology but I think many will

>appreciate seeing those words in this recent reply.

 

Some people just love to be the "a" in apology and some love even more to the "a" in asshole!

 

I reiterate, a colonoscopy is NOT an illness, it's a

>procedure, and one that's been the brunt of jokes since the

>procedure acquired its name.

 

So, what did you misunderstand in my post? Making fun of a procedure that can save lives, via stupid, crass jokes serves no purpose and accomplishes nothng other than dissuading others from getting the procedure, and thus leading to many deaths due to avoiding being the object of "jokes"! Too bad that you can't comprehend that.

 

>

>My mother died of cancer and I took a year off from work to

>care for her. My four closest friends, who nurtured and

>mentored me while pursuing a career in NYC, all died of AIDS.

>My entire history with these fabulous men - the deep, loving

>friendships with supremely talented guys who taught me how to

>be a man and taught me the true meaning of love - cut from my

>life forever. I'm left with memories. All I'm saying, dear, is

>try to lighten up.

 

So, what is your point? WOW! 4 friends that died of AIDS! Damn that is tragic, compared to how many friends/family others have lost to that disease. So, got any AIDS jokes to revel us all with? No? then ask others, I'm sure they can give you some! As to your Mom, that is sad, but not nearly as sad as you taking her death so lightly, in your advice to others to "lighten up"!

>

"Art comes in all shapes and sizes and I try never to discriminate and limit my vision to some snobbish ideal. A life without creative people is not a life for me."

 

Well, excuse my observations, but you come across as an "art" snob! You do limit yourself, imo, as to what you "consider" art, and anyone who disagrees with you, is clueless!

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RE: The need for understanding.

 

i am a colon cancer surviver; i have had about 10 inches of my colon removed; i got a colonscopy every year for the first five years afterward and now get one yearly. the procedure is no problem and does not hurt.

 

the worst part is the "prep". the secret is NOT to take the liquid but to take visicol pills; it is more expensive but worth every penny; also, i have a very light dinner two days before and only liquids for breakfast and lunch the day before. following this procedure it is not so bad.

 

i have gotten lots of people to take the test and encourage everyone i meet to do so. it is a life saver and taking the test is a breeze compared to having part of your colon removed.

 

all that said, i found the original posting funny and i joke with my doctor all the time before and after the procedure. perhaps it is my sense of humor but i have found a little humor goes a long way. there is a big difference between joking about a test and AIDS or cancer itself. much humor is "tasteless" about old age, dumb blonds, etc. and each person will draw the line someplace else as to what is acceptable. to me, the original posting was fun and i'll try some of the new lines out on my doctor who seems to have heard them all.

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RE: The need for humor.

 

I thought the original joke was quite funny, and Rockhard's quip here is really good. Well done, Rockhard. Jokes should primarily be evaluated on whether they're funny or not, not on whether they hurt someone's feelings or not. Colon cancer is not funny in itself, but I don't see why it can't be the source of humour.

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Hawk,

I have had this procedure a number of times. Each and every time I have tried to use humor to offset the weirdness of having it done. I am sorry that you found what was meant to be harmless so offensive.

I do respect your feeling and will try to post no more ass jokes in the future.

 

The procedure does save thousands of lives and every man over 50 should have it done at least every two years (I believe that is the recommendation) I am not a doctor but have played one on TV. I have never stayed at a Holiday Inn Express however.

 

Are you sure your outrage at me has nothing to do with your favorite Texas boy?

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RE: The need for understanding.

 

>the worst part is the "prep". the secret is NOT to take the

>liquid but to take visicol pills; it is more expensive but

>worth every penny ...

 

Since I just underwent my first colonscopy last week, I'm curious as to how the vicsicol pills are superior to the liquid. I used the liquid (Fleet Phososoda, I think) and it sure as hell seemed to do the job. As you say, the day-before prep is annoying, but the procedure itself was a breeze. I woke up wondering when it was going to start and the nurse handed me my clothes telling me get dressed when I felt ready.

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Jackhammer, I'm so glad you wrote what you did to VaHawk.

 

As long as something is funny, I've always got a good laugh. But after my partner died, I had a real hard time with AIDS jokes. So I understand just how VaHawk is feeling. Your response to someone who is hurting is a very kind and human gesture.

 

Funny and kind. I'll bet you're a hottie too!

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RE: The need for understanding.

 

popping the pills is much easier than trying to drink any of the liquid prep. i find pill taking easy. perhaps the real secret is to have the light dinner two days before so in 24 hours you are fairly clean anyway so there is not much to move out. for that last dinner, i usually have soup and no heavy meats.

 

again, i wish i had taken the test at 50 as recommended; i would have been caught early and not have had to remove part of my colon.

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Guest zipperzone

RE: The need for humor.

 

RockHard's replt to VaHawk is right on the mark.

 

Some people are so fucking up-tight they will never have a real sense of humor. The joke was not about a cancer. It was about having a doctor go on a fishing expedition up your shute.

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Guest zipperzone

RE: The need for humor.

 

>It would be great

>to be a mindless, drooling idiot! :7 as I could celebrate my

>own idiocy

 

Funny but you had me fooled - I thought you were.

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Guest zipperzone

RE: The need for understanding.

 

>Some people just love to be the "a" in apology and some love

>even more to the "a" in asshole!

 

Spoken with experience, no doubt - while looking into a mirror.

 

 

>and thus leading to many

>deaths due to avoiding being the object of "jokes"! Too bad

>that you can't comprehend that.

 

You truly have lost all sense of logic. If you think this joke will disuade men from having the exam and thus lead to their death, I suggest you join any one of the Right Wing Evangelical Born Again Christian groups out there. You make just as much sense as they do.

 

>So, what is your point? WOW! 4 friends that died of AIDS!

>Damn that is tragic, compared to how many friends/family

>others have lost to that disease. So, got any AIDS jokes to

>revel us all with? No? then ask others, I'm sure they can give

>you some! As to your Mom, that is sad, but not nearly as sad

>as you taking her death so lightly, in your advice to others

>to "lighten up"!

 

His point is: Life goes on and we don't have to and are not supposed to, spend the rest of our lives, sniveling and wearing our hearts on our sleaves. Get over it and get on with the rest of your life.

 

>Well, excuse my observations, but you come across as an "art"

>snob! You do limit yourself, imo, as to what you "consider"

>art, and anyone who disagrees with you, is clueless!

 

The very fact that you zero in on his observations abour art when what you actually started out bitching about was a joke someone else posted is an indication of how little minds tend to wander off topic.

 

A LOT

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Guest zipperzone

>Hawk,

>I have had this procedure a number of times. Each and every

>time I have tried to use humor to offset the weirdness of

>having it done. I am sorry that you found what was meant to

>be harmless so offensive.

>I do respect your feeling and will try to post no more ass

>jokes in the future.

 

Why did you feel you had to apologize - your joke was very funny.

And why would you say you will post no more ass jokes. If most of the readers enjoy them and get a chuckle - let those you don't have the same sense of humor, skip over them.

 

Just attach a warning (like 90% of TV shows now do) that the contents of this post may upset those members who are ass-sensitaive and should not be read without a note from their mommy.

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Zipperzone,

I appreciate your support.

 

However, I wasn't apologizing for sharing the jokes, I think they're fine. I was saying that it's too bad he was offended, but I don't feel responsible for offending him. the part about not posting anymore ass jokes, well, that was kind of tongue in cheek (excuse the pun) which is why I said I would try. I won't try that hard, believe me. I have always been and will always be an ass man.

 

I have a feeling he wasn't as offended as he made out. He's just pissed because I have expressed an opinion that his escort friend in Texas shouldn't have a link to his column from this site.

 

When someone loses a friend or relative to a disease, it's not funny (them dying I mean). But life does go on and all of us still have to have those gosh awful tests. If you can't joke about it, then you're taking life way too seriously. Why did God give us the ability to laugh? To take the stress off life when it gets to be too much to bear.

 

Speaking of bear...oh never mind, a subject for another post.

 

 

 

:D

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"I have a feeling he wasn't as offended as he made out. He's just pissed because I have expressed an opinion that his escort friend in Texas shouldn't have a link to his column from this site."

 

I don't even know what you are referring to! I don't, believe it or not, get pissed at others for expressing an opinion about anyone or anything, whether it is someone I know in Texas, Montana or any other place.

 

I just know that I found your jokes offensive, just as I found all the AIDS jokes about Rock Hudson and AIDS in general offensive in the 1980's, still find them offensive, just like jokes about "niggers", "spics" "towel heads" or anything of that genre. But please, I wasn't trying to advocate your prohitibiton to post your little "offensive" jokes, as it seems many people love them, but I'm just not one of them, and as such I expressed my opinion about how tiresome and trite and unfunny they are. That's all, and I really could not care less, what you or anyone else thinks about my opinions, as I will continue to post what I think. That's what this board is all about.

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