Fall in love with an escort

[Ladaddy1]

I recently was involved in a dating situation with an escort I only saw once. He stop charging me for dates and said just want to hang out with me because he enjoys it. We began to see each other more and feel the connection is getting deeper. Then, now when he goes out to see other clients, I started to become more jealous and even offer him the equivalent amount for him to not to see that client. Of course he rejected my money. What should I do? I am so confused if I should suggest him stop taking clients or not.

[+ Avalon]

Let him do his job. Don't be jealous. Enjoy his company when you can. You're a lucky man to have found him and he you!

 

Do not ask him to stop escorting; you'll lose him!

[gallahadesquire]

It's his life. You have to decide whether it's worth it to you. I assume you're still having sex with him? I hope so.

 

He's seeing you because you have a connection. He also needs to make money.

 

Would you want him not to work if he were, say, a Doctor or a Lawyer?

[Ladaddy1]

Let him do his job. Don't be jealous. Enjoy his company when you can. You're a lucky man to have found him and he you!

 

Do not ask him to stop escorting; you'll lose him!

 

I hear you. But when he leave the door to see clients, it felt like stabbing in my heart. Not to make this dramatic, but I think I can't share someone that I have attached feeling.

 

Although, this is his way to make a living. Such a dilemma for me.

[Ladaddy1]

It's his life. You have to decide whether it's worth it to you. I assume you're still having sex with him? I hope so.

 

He's seeing you because you have a connection. He also needs to make money.

 

Would you want him not to work if he were, say, a Doctor or a Lawyer?

 

I do have sex with him. But he refuse to take any materialistic things from me. I would certainly hope he would stop this occupation but until then, I guess I just have to tolerate it.

[+ Avalon]

I hear you. But when he leave the door to see clients, it felt like stabbing in my heart. Not to make this dramatic, but I think I can't share someone that I have attached feeling.

 

Although, this is his way to make a living. Such a dilemma for me.

 

I understand. Does he have long range plans after escorting?

 

Always remember there is a difference between sex and making love. Look at his escorting simply as a business nothing more. And when he is "at work" find something to do to keep occupied. Go to a movie etc.. Do not harp at him or criticize him. Just let it be or you'll lose him.

[+ Avalon]

I do have sex with him. But he refuse to take any materialistic things from me. I would certainly hope he would stop this occupation but until then, I guess I just have to tolerate it.

 

Good for him! He does not want to feel like a kept man. He has his pride.

[Ladaddy1]

Good for him! He does not want to feel like a kept man. He has his pride.

He has no plan...did told me he wants to be a pro car racer. Ill take your advice to give him to freedom to do whatever he wants. Thanks

[+ Avalon]

He has no plan...did told me he wants to be a pro car racer. Ill take your advice to give him to freedom to do whatever he wants. Thanks

 

Sometimes you just "have to go with the flow".

[gallahadesquire]

Accept him as he is, or leave. Your choice.

[+ WilliamM]

You are lucky and unlucky. It happened with as escort I saw for several years, and with a client he initially did not like.

 

I contacted him several years later just to see how he was doing. They were still together, but he was still escorting occasionally. The next Labor Day weekend, he sent me an email implying the need for money and wanted to know if I wanted to hire him. I did not.

 

So I agree with @gallahadesquire.

[LADoug1]

I wonder how Kevin Slater, Lance Navarro, or Juan Vancouver would respond to this thread.

[gallahadesquire]

I wonder how Kevin Slater, Lance Navarro, or Juan Vancouver would respond to this thread.

 

Where is Juan? He's been gone since July.

[+ easygoingpal]

I hear you. But when he leave the door to see clients, it felt like stabbing in my heart. Not to make this dramatic, but I think I can't share someone that I have attached feeling.

 

Put yourself in his place, if you squeeze too hard, he might feel imprisoned. There might be regrets down the line if he decides that he is loosing his freedom if you were to start imposing restrictions on him.

[MikeBiDude]

I started to become more jealous

I can be the jealous type sometimes....but it’s not a great trait if you’re trying to create and keep up a relationship with an escort. Impossible even? Been there, done that

[Brian Kevin]

You my friend are stuck Between a rock and a HOTT GUY!

 

That’s so awesome you guys connected so well and became so close. Hoping and keeping my fingers crossed it remains a happy and healthy relationship for you both! Excited to see where things go for you! That’s so awesome of you to offer to help him so he can stop working. From my point of view, there’s something magical and dreamy about knowing your potentially helping someone heal or feel better about themselves. I get real nervous sometimes meeting new guys, id imagine Oprah and big stars like her also get nervous prior to an important interview— yet it’s all so natural and fun. It’s very hard to give up years of meeting new people, traveling to new places and learning the most taboo and bliss parts of peoples lives.

[big-n-tall]

To the original OP...

 

I agree with most of what has been said already in this thread. If you are truly in a place of becoming a couple, you have to accept what he does because that's how you met him. If escorting is his only source of income and he has no plans to leave... it isn't right for you to ask him to stop. There are escorts perfectly happy with the profession. Offering to help is fine... as long as the guy doesn't feel you may try to control him or use getting a job as a tool to hold over his head in some way in future. Trust me it happens. This isn't Pretty Woman. Things don't go specifically as we plan or hope to.

 

I kind of find myself in this same situation you are in. Because of the great distance between us we don't get to see each other on a regular basis. We do text constantly. I don't have any issues with jealousy, at least not yet. Partly because I know there are many factors keeping us from having a full on commitment. We have talked about this a lot. We both, at the moment, like the idea of being a couple. However, again because of certain circumstances that full commitment hasn't happened... if it ever will. I tell him more than anything I'm glad we are at place we can talk about it. Our situation is open enough that if we stay where we our, take it a step further, or just end up staying as friends... we'll be ok with it all.

 

Anyway, I know jealousy does not make the whole situation any easier. If you truly like/love this guy and you want the relationship to go further you must learn how to deal with your jealousy. I think maybe you should talk to the escort about how you feel, if you haven't already.

[+ Lance_Navarro]

First of all, if he enjoys escorting and he has a gift to share with others, do you really want to take that away from him and others, simply because of your jealousy? Loving someone is about supporting their happiness and not transforming them. You are developing what's called "emotional fusion" which will become the basis for greater jealousy, co-dependency, and most likely, ultimately a failed relationship. He showed you who he is in the beginning, so believe him and either grow within and develop a greater sense of self or cease the relationship.

[Mount N Do]

Well I think I can speak with some authority here having recently experienced a similar dilema. At least as it pertains to falling in love with an escort. While some here offer advice- accurate btw- that you should just casually accept it or move on, I would submit that it's easier said than done. And so much easier to advance when there are no feelings.

 

I would just say, as some here told me, that unless you just cut ties, it will never get better. I haven't cut those ties, but did decide that it didn't matter anymore who he slept with as long as I had a piece of his heart. It seems to be working for me, and may just be self preservation, but as each day passes, I'm closer to removing myself entirely from the equation.

 

I think that as human beings, we never want to let go of what feels good, but for me, the anxiety was more common then the good feelings. And the knowledge that the anxiety was a recurring thing always heightens the insecurity. Good luck dude, your dilema is a struggle I know well.

[marylander1940]

I hear you. But when he leave the door to see clients, it felt like stabbing in my heart. Not to make this dramatic, but I think I can't share

 

I do have sex with him. But he refuse to take any materialistic things from me. I would certainly hope he would stop this occupation but until then, I guess I just have to tolerate it.

 

You're getting it for free from someone you hired...

 

Let him go, adopt him as your son and put him in your will, marry him, or keep things the way they're.

[jjkrkwood]

It takes a VERY secure man to handle this type of relationship... If thats YOU....go for it. If its not, then walk away. You are not the first guy to "fall" for his escort, and you wont be the last.

 

But you have to respect each others feelings and choices. Some people are made to be Together, but some are not.

[wklucas]

Where is Juan? He's been gone since July.

 

I miss Thor (much, much) more.....(only met him once....which was not enough).

[+ Tarte Gogo]

The compatibility of love and non-exclusivity.

 

A very old debate.

[Mount N Do]

The compatibility of love and non-exclusivity.

 

A very old debate.

Is it even debatable? For some of us I think not.

[+ Tarte Gogo]

Is it even debatable?

Well there are certainly a lot of people online trying to debate it!