The taboo of hiring escorts in the gay world

[BoyBerlin]

Does anybody find that there is a shame associated with hiring escorts in the gay world? When 1 thinks of a "client" they generally have the stereotype of an old fat married closeted man who really has no other options for gay sex. I would love to hear from clients who are younger and could get it for free but choose to hire escorts for the thrill, control and other reasons. In the straight world its a badge of honer to hire a hooker. in the gay world nobody talks about this.

 

If you are a good looking guy under 40 who hires escorts regularly would be great to hear your experiences.

[Kevin Slater]

Implicit in your post is that old fat married closeted men should be ashamed to hire escorts, even if for thrill or control, but younger guys shouldn't be. Huh.

 

Kevin Slater

[AdamSmith]

Only in your own mind.

 

The world accepts it today. That minor set of taboos from Victorian England which went against the previous 5000 years' open acceptance of sex work have blessedly, rightfully, vanished away.

 

Certainly everyone I know under age 30 takes it for granted that it is natural, and okay; and mutually enjoyable. They like giving (and receiving!) these human gifts.

[BoyBerlin]

Implicit in your post is that old fat married closeted men should be ashamed to hire escorts, even if for thrill or control, but younger guys shouldn't be. Huh.

 

Kevin Slater

I actually meant quite the opposite. If you are older, married, overweight it makes perfect sense while 1 would hire and really no shame at all. To me its the younger clients who lives in the gay world and could more or less hook up whenever they want that this post if geared to. Because at least in my case it becomes more about the act of paying for sex than the actual sex itself.

[BoyBerlin]

Only in your own mind.

 

The world accepts it today. That minor set of taboos from Victorian England which went against the previous 5000 years' open acceptance of sex work have blessedly, rightfully, vanished away.

 

Certainly everyone I know under age 30 takes it for granted that it is natural, and okay; and mutually enjoyable. They like giving (and receiving!) these human gifts.

@AdamSmith Are you saying you know guys under 30 who hire escorts?

[AdamSmith]

@AdamSmith Are you saying you know guys under 30 who hire escorts?

Yes.

 

Does that seem odd to you?

 

They, as we all at whatever age, may be shy; they may be insecure; they may like and seek the protected, safe, secure environment of learning how to be intimate with a paid companion who may be a kid, but who has the strength, and emotional intelligence, to be a confident, personally strong and secure, professional, safe provider of intimacy and closeness.

 

What is the source of your surprise?

[BoyBerlin]

No, not at all. But the point of my post was younger guys who hire don't seem to talk about it. Think about the straight world... They brag about hiring hookers (bachelor parties, business trips, etc..). And I will agree there does seem to be a level of acceptance for guy who choose to take up sex work but this post was about the clients. Happy to hear what your experiences has been.

[AdamSmith]

No, not at all. But the point of my post was younger guys who hire don't seem to talk about it. Think about the straight world... They brag about hiring hookers (bachelor parties, business trips, etc..). And I will agree there does seem to be a level of acceptance for guy who choose to take up sex work but this post was about the clients. Happy to hear what your experiences has been.

The 'younger guys' you know may be very repressed. I know many 'under thirty' who hire, and acknowledge they get very much from it, and are happy the opportunity exists.

 

It is also possible you are projecting older generations' viewpoints onto the situation.

[BoyBerlin]

Okay, fair enough.. Do you mind me asking, are you a client or an escort? And in what situations are you coming across guys under 30 that hire?

[Moondance]

So ... "old, fat, married and closeted" vs. "good-looking and under 40" ... "no other options for gay sex" vs. "could get it for free" ... hmmm.

 

Why not make the "old, fat, married and closeted" client ugly too? And maybe toothless.

 

And how about if the "good-looking, under 40" non-client is also muscular and flaxen-haired?

 

I say this not to bust your (boyish) chops, @BoyBerlin, but to suggest that perhaps generalities and stereotypes are not the best way to understand anything.

[+ M T]

This is definitely something I've wanted to talk about.

Yes I'm 45, but not fat, not married. I'm just a gay man who got a late start on my gay eploration and experiences. I have no desire to date, ever marry,etc..

I've not been with to many guys,as for a escort date." There seem to be many horrible insults about both the client wanting a date for the evening, "dinner, show, and back to the room." In addition to the professionals I hear horrible insults which are definitely not accurate both for the client or professional date. From the sweet man who took the time together to chat over dinner, 50% of his clients were 21-25 yrs old. He commented they were in your experimentation of "how do I do X or this". Or they maybe unable to pick up guys at clubs due to factors, "weight, looks etc." That's my learning from an escort who talked about his clients. Young sometimes, but he rather enjoyed the mature guys. Thank god.

[+ WilliamM]

The 'younger guys' you know may be very repressed. I know many 'under thirty' who hire, and acknowledge they get very much from it, and are happy the opportunity exists.

 

Perhaps you are much more interested in asking than other people. I do not care enough to ask a follow up question once I know directly from the person, including good friends.

[AdamSmith]

Perhaps you are much more interested in asking than other people. I do not care enough to ask a follow up question once I know directly from the person, including good friends.

Odd remark. I don't 'ask' much of anything of anyone. Only observe what they freely share.

 

The cast of your remark is revealing.

[+ Tarte Gogo]

I started hiring when I was 29 and in good shape. I need a variety of experiences and I was just fed up having to go clubbing until very late hours to find a date. Given that I would nearly always throw my date out in the morning, an escort was a more convenient and more reliable access to sex.

 

Think about the straight world... They brag about hiring hookers (bachelor parties, business trips, etc..).

 

I know no one that does that. In fact I know no one straight that even has mentioned hiring. We must be swimming in very different straight circles.

[+ José Soplanucas]

Does anybody find that there is a shame associated with hiring escorts in the gay world? When 1 thinks of a "client" they generally have the stereotype of an old fat married closeted man who really has no other options for gay sex. I would love to hear from clients who are younger and could get it for free but choose to hire escorts for the thrill, control and other reasons. In the straight world its a badge of honer to hire a hooker. in the gay world nobody talks about this.

 

If you are a good looking guy under 40 who hires escorts regularly would be great to hear your experiences.

 

Respectfully, your post speaks more about your own prejudices than about society's, or gay culture's.

I started hiring when I was an attractive young man in my early 20s, with access to tons of sex for free.

[Chuckball]

I never hired when I was in my twenties. The only reason for not doing so was that I was struggling financially with student loan debt and trying to find affordable housing. Sure I wanted terrific sexual experiences but primal needs of food and shelter came first. Now that I have become financially secure, I am in a position to hire. It wasn't because my tastes have changed, just my options.

[+ José Soplanucas]

I never hired when I was in my twenties. The only reason for not doing so was that I was struggling financially with student loan debt and trying to find affordable housing. Sure I wanted terrific sexual experiences but primal needs of food and shelter came first. Now that I have become financially secure, I am in a position to hire. It wasn't because my tastes have changed, just my options.

 

I was also damn poor in my 20s, my hirings were street hustlers that would do it for very little money, or trading some goods (one of them liked my high school graduation white jacket and accept it as a trade), or just diner and a joint.

There is access to male prostitution for all the social classes. If you do not have the financial resources, of course you are not going to look for your guys in Rentmen, but there are other outlets that give affordable access to sexual services.

[LADoug1]

Aren't you interested in what EVERYONE has to say?

[AdamSmith]

No, you are wrong. You asked me a question in a PM that I never would have asked.

 

I also have much better memory than you.

 

As to your comment above, it does not surprise me at all.

 

[Moondance]

... In the straight world it's a badge of honor to hire a hooker.

Think about the straight world... They brag about hiring hookers...

I know no one that does that. In fact I know no one straight that even has mentioned hiring.

Maybe they're just not bragging to you, @Tarte Gogo, but have you kept an eye out for the badges?

[+ Tarte Gogo]

have you kept an eye out for the badges

 

I don't even know what the badges look like.

[actor61]

I actually meant quite the opposite. If you are older, married, overweight it makes perfect sense while 1 would hire and really no shame at all. To me its the younger clients who lives in the gay world and could more or less hook up whenever they want that this post if geared to. Because at least in my case it becomes more about the act of paying for sex than the actual sex itself.

Why is the assumption always that young gay men can hook up without much effort while older gay men cannot? God, that pisses me off!!!!

[+ José Soplanucas]

Why is the assumption always that young gay men can hook up without much effort while older gay men cannot? God, that pisses me off!!!!

 

It is an old psychological defense mechanism called projection.

[+ othermanc]

About the OP's question:

"If you are a good looking guy under 40 who hires escorts regularly would be great to hear your experiences."

I recently was with escort Sean ( https://rent.men/dreamboyy) and remembered reading on the forum that he has hired other escorts himself, even though he obviously wouldn't ever "need to,." being as young and attractive has he is. I asked him about that and he replied he just wanted to experience certain type of guys and this was a way to "cut to the chase." (In his posting he said something like: " Of course escorts hire other escorts; we're as horny as everyone else."

[+ WilliamM]

 

 

Very sorry, Adam. I played Ed Norton in the school play in the 6th grade, my role was to quiet Ralph down. So your photo was a perfect response.