In versus out?

[AquaNYC]

When I lived in NYC, I always hosted at my apartment, even first-timers, and never had any problem. When traveling, I normally use my hotel room. Now that I cannot host (boyfriend arrangement), I use a nice hourly hotel. In my long "hiring career", I have been to "their" place very, very rarely. I just feel more comfortable "chez moi".

As a relative newbie, I have been hosting first times at my condo or when traveling in my hotel room. I don't give out my condo number or my hotel room, but first meet them in the lobby and chat a bit to get a sense of the person before bringing them up. Do you think this is naive? Am I setting myself up for unforeseen risks? I may not have thought this through enough. I'd be grateful for any perspectives on this.

[MikeyGMin]

As a relative newbie, I have been hosting first times at my condo or when traveling in my hotel room. I don't give out my condo number or my hotel room, but first meet them in the lobby and chat a bit to get a sense of the person before bringing them up. Do you think this is naive? Am I setting myself up for unforeseen risks? I may not have thought this through enough. I'd be grateful for any perspectives on this.

You're going to get opinions all over the spectrum and polar opposite. There just isn't a right answer because so much depends. Major factors I believe people consider:

1. What do you have to lose if found out? Will it just be embarrassing or catastrophic?
   
2. How physically fit are you? Most of us are hiring men quite a bit younger than us. Are you physically intimidated by them?
   

Over the years I have hosted more guys than I can count and never had a single issue. I am much more comfortable in my own space and feel like it gives me much more control.

 

However, I am in a position that it would merely be embarrassing if I had to call the police. There would be no major fallout in my life. I can also take care of myself physically under most conditions. I ain't Superman. If someone were to show up with a weapon I would be in a world of hurt, but I'm almost always dealing with a somewhat known person.

 

So assess your personal situation. What are the ramifications of an embarrassing incident in your condo lobby or hotel? Are you physically fit enough to make someone leave your hotel room if you need to?

 

I weigh the risks and choose outcalls to my house, but the best argument I've heard for doing incalls is that it is generally much easier to leave a situation than to get someone out of yours.

[MassageDrew]

Thoughts on hosting versus being hosted? Should I get a room or have him to my house? Curious what you all think.

 

I worry about going to other people's houses but I worry more about bringing in someone to my own place. I prefer incalls for sure. Only my closest friends get to see my place. Regular acquaintances don't. It's not that I have to hide anything. Rather, I treat my place as a sanctuary. When I close the door I feel a certain sense of security and serenity. People who do get the pleasure of seeing my place experience the same. Inviting someone totally unknown is simply a no, no:D

[MileHigh]

I worry about going to other people's houses but I worry more about bringing in someone to my own place. I prefer incalls for sure. Only my closest friends get to see my place. Regular acquaintances don't. It's not that I have to hide anything. Rather, I treat my place as a sanctuary. When I close the door I feel a certain sense of security and serenity. People who do get the pleasure of seeing my place experience the same. Inviting someone totally unknown is simply a no, no:D

Agreed whole heartedly with you!!!

[AquaNYC]

I worry about going to other people's houses but I worry more about bringing in someone to my own place. I prefer incalls for sure. Only my closest friends get to see my place. Regular acquaintances don't. It's not that I have to hide anything. Rather, I treat my place as a sanctuary. When I close the door I feel a certain sense of security and serenity. People who do get the pleasure of seeing my place experience the same. Inviting someone totally unknown is simply a no, no:D

Thank you for sharing this perspective. You make great points. I'm going to reevaluate my approach.

[+ José Soplanucas]

I usually invite local guys to my place. If it is a first meeting, I meet him at a corner close to my place or at the metro station if they are not driving. If they are close I may even pick them up and give them a ride. The point is I never give my full address to someone I have not met before. If I am going to repeat, he has my address.

With visitors I usually go to their hotel, with a few exceptions. I apply the same rule, the first time will be at his hotel. The following times it depends on our mutual convenience, but I always prefer my place. Fucking and leaving is the only option for a first time, but not my preferred one for regular guys.

[MileHigh]

I usually invite local guys to my place. If it is a first meeting, I met him at a corner close to my place or at the metro station if they are not driving. If they are close I may even pick them up and give them a ride. The point is I never give my full address to someone I have not met before. If I am going to repeat, he has my address.

With visitors I usually go to their hotel, with a few exceptions. I apply the same rule, the first time will be at his hotel. The following times it depends on our mutual convenience, but I always prefer my place. Fucking and leaving is the only option for a first time, but not my preferred one for regular guys.

Hopefully one day I get the invite to Papi's pad

[TruthBTold]

I usually prefer having some to my place. Generally, however, the gent has a lot of reviews (official or even just recommended by people here) so I feel as if I know them already. Or maybe like a first date after friends recommend them to me.

[+ oldNbusted]

No visitors, I travel to the guy.