Hey, Fellows, I'm Seeking Advice Again :) :) !!!!

[+ Axiom2001]

Hey, fellows, I'm seeking advice again and will "just cut to the chase!" This past Friday evening I met an escort who is now retired (as such) but sees some of his past clients still. He and I have known each other since the mid 2000s and always had some very "scalding" sex; once he left "the profession," he would send me emails occasionally desiring my company and play. I returned that I'd contact him in the future. Years passed and just recently I'd wanted "to rekindle" the fun that we'd had previously. Well, we met just two days ago; I enjoyed seeing him, for his looks have not changed, and he's still hung and hard as a friggin' steel pole, but I just did not seem to be "into" him-- no pun here! The conversation was vibrant and delightful, but his kisses were not as passionate as I'd had in the past and had hoped for; his sucking skills were NOT as good as another guy's who I have been seeing for almost five years now. I was not turned on!

 

Yesterday I received an email from him which was positive. In it he mentioned that he'd be eager to see me again. I have yet to respond, for I do not desire to have sex with him for a good while in the future, if at all. I like him for conversing but not for any physical interaction. I don't want to write him a candid email in return, so be kind to me, please, and share what you would do if you were in my situation. Advance thanks!

[+ Just Sayin]

what turned us on at one point in our lives does not necessarily turn us on forever; I think I would just indicate that your schedule has become limited right now and that you'll get back to him when your time permits; he will most likely understand

[+ DickyF]

It's tough! White lies are called for imho.

Cutting back on expenses.

Seeing someone.

[+ harey]

I'm not clear on your question. Do you want a friendship or paid meetings for conversation only? In either case, shouldn't you be honest and let him know you're more interested now in a platonic relationship?

[bigvalboy]

Tell him the truth...face to face.

 

If you've known this man since the mid 2000's, he deserves as much. People know when you're not being totally honest, and that might hurt more than being truthful...Good luck and keep us posted.

[JayNY]

Honesty is always the best policy mate.

[Scorpio]

I'm not clear on your question. Do you want a friendship or paid meetings for conversation only? In either case, shouldn't you be honest and let him know you're more interested now in a platonic relationship?

 

Tell him the truth...face to face.

 

If you've known this man since the mid 2000's, he deserves as much. People know when you're not being totally honest, and that might hurt more than being truthful...Good luck and keep us posted.

 

Honesty is always the best policy mate.

 

Agreed! Be HONEST! Especially given the extraordinary means you took to "rekindle"

 

http://m4m-forum.org/threads/a-retired-escorts-rekindling-of-fun-and.115713/

[+ Truereview]

Good thoughts above. @Axiom2001, is there a reason why you would have to respond to his email right away? If not, sit on this for a while longer and see what you think about it in a few days. Sometimes the sting of an event is best thought thru a few days later when feelings are not as high, sore or confused. think about your response, even draft it, but don't hit send or speak in person with him until you put some more distance between the event and your feelings about it.

[MikeyGMin]

Agree with @Truereview that this is a pause and reflect moment. Not sure I agree with the others that think you need to be completely honest. I would certainly give him the courtesy of a response, but this sure seems like a white lie situation. Personally I'd go with "My schedule has gotten crazy busy, but I will get back to you when it lightens up." It will be understood without having to tell someone that they just don't do it for you anymore. If I were in his situation the white lie would sting less than the brutal truth.

[DonaldTramp]

Tell him you reconnected with your high school girlfriend on Facebook or that you are into trannies now.

[Epigonos]

I'm with the white lie crowd. Why hurt someone knowingly when it really isn't necessary.

[nebula]

you are the client, if you never book anything, he knows what that means. politely reply his email saying thanks for last time without making any future commitment

[+ dutchmuch]

Go see Billy in SJ!

[LADoug1]

Be honest and reply to his email promptly. It isn't courteous to make him wait and wonder. I'll bet he's also confused and maybe even conflicted like you are.

[rvwnsd]

Like @Truereview and @MikeyGMin I think this is one of those times when stopping, reflecting, and thinking before you reply is the appropriate thing to do. Right now you feel disappointed and let down, as this playdate did not measure up to the memory you have of past playdates. Perhaps after a few days of processing you could craft a message that does not promise a future hire while preserving a relationship with the guy should you decide you want to see him in the future.

[down_to_business]

Dear X ... Thanks for the blast from the past. It was so great reconnecting with you. I will be sure and contact you the next time I get those overwhelming desires of nostalgia.

[rvwnsd]

Dear X ... Thanks for the blast from the past. It was so great reconnecting with you. I will be sure and contact you the next time I get those overwhelming desires of nostalgia.

I like the spirit of this message.

[Edward]

I would say: "Thanks for the past experiences they have been memorable. I will get back to you when time and finances permit." Keep it short.

[+ Truereview]

I like the spirit of this message.

I agree. DtB's draft is a good one! It is not a white lie and it dispositions the individual in an honest but not hurtful way.

 

I would avoid superlatives: so great, overwhelming desire. Just doesn't feel congruent with what Axiom expressed about the experience nor future expectations. Although I appreciate @Edward's succinctness in his draft, it feels a bit cold to me considering that Axiom has had a relationship of sorts with this guy, and he said the conversation was vibrant & delightful. It also felt like axiom genuinely cares for this guy.

 

@Axiom2001, Btw, I'd love for you to go out and have a spectacular lay. I'd love for your next post(coital) to look something like this...

http://24.media.tumblr.com/efa40b093b63b45c439f43378087b1c4/tumblr_mhk3peyeto1qbuwpuo1_250.gif

[rvwnsd]

In the spirit of @down_to_business 's suggestion, here is what I would write:

 

Hey [insert name here],

 

Thanks for the sweet message. It was nice to reconnect with you the other day. The next time I have the urge to get together I will let you know.

 

@Axiom2001

[+ Axiom2001]

In the spirit of @down_to_business 's suggestion, here is what I would write:

 

Hey [insert name here],

 

Thanks for the sweet message. It was nice to reconnect with you the other day. The next time I have the urge to get together I will let you know.

 

@Axiom2001

 

Thanks all for your suggestions, for they were most appreciated. Will be writing a brief email today in response to the escort's, and will write positively but not encouraging!

[robberbaron4u]

"Sadly, I am too old and worn for your consideration, and, thereby, I am not worthy of your attentions. In parting, may I impart to you that you are the Great Love of my life, and, our parting is such a sweet sorrow for me."

[Juan Vancouver]

Tell him the truth...face to face.

 

If you've known this man since the mid 2000's, he deserves as much. People know when you're not being totally honest, and that might hurt more than being truthful...Good luck and keep us posted.

 

I might be late to the party and the response might be sent, I just want to say that there is no situation in which I may justify looking into someone's eyes and say "I am simply not attracted to you anymore". Unless it is my partner, with whom I may not be having sex for years and he asks me point blank the reason for out dead sexuality, I simply cannot think of a justification to deliver something that can be so cruel and might leave a lasting damage on someone's self-esteem.

 

A kind, white lie, or a "I'll sure contact you when the urge strikes again" are the more loving and impeccable approaches, in my personal opinion. Especially if you have fucked for a long time and you once had an incredible connection, why tar this relationship by closing it this way?

 

I hope whatever you do, both of you end up feeling better.

 

Big hug!

[bigvalboy]

I might be late to the party and the response might be sent, I just want to say that there is no situation in which I may justify looking into someone's eyes and say "I am simply not attracted to you anymore". Unless it is my partner, with whom I may not be having sex for years and he asks me point blank the reason for out dead sexuality, I simply cannot think of a justification to deliver something that can be so cruel and might leave a lasting damage on someone's self-esteem.

 

A kind, white lie, or a "I'll sure contact you when the urge strikes again" are the more loving and impeccable approaches, in my personal opinion. Especially if you have fucked for a long time and you once had an incredible connection, why tar this relationship by closing it this way?

 

I hope whatever you do, both of you end up feeling better.

 

Big hug!

 

"Lies beget lies"...We all would be better served by the truth. People know when you are lying to them. They can see it in your eyes, they hear it in your voice, and that is more hurtful and more damaging in my opinion, but you are certainly free to live your personal life any way that serves you best.

[coriolis888]

"Lies beget lies"...We all would be better served by the truth. People know when you are lying to them. They can see it in your eyes, they hear it in your voice, and that is more hurtful and more damaging in my opinion, but you are certainly free to live your personal life any way that serves you best.

 

 

This is the most sincere way to handle the situation.

 

Few people like or can handle rejection but rejection is just part of life.

 

Truth triumphs in the end.