I'm sure this gets asked a lot...but...

[bostonman]

...but I'm asking again, lol.

 

I recently met a guy, on a whim, off of Craigslist, who said he was straight, not interested in sex, but was glad to provide cuddling and mutual sensual touch (no genital contact either way). It turned out rather nice, though we wound up talking more than touching (my fault completely lol). But it was a refreshing chance to feel intimate with a guy without feeling the need for "going all the way." Plus, he was more than happy to target my nipples, which for me is a huge erogenous zone. So it still felt like a sexy time, without being truly sex.

 

His ad seems to have disappeared in the meantime - I tend to wonder if he himself was trying this out. I don't seem to think this was a career for him. (His fees were VERY reasonable lol.)

 

In any case - this leads to questions about guys that do advertise on masseurfinder or other such sites. (And provoked by an ad for a Boston-based masseur that I just saw linked out here.) I would never just assume that such ads can also imply escorting (though I imagine that some of them do allow some kind of sexual contact, at least a so-called "happy ending"). But, how would you find out if a masseur like this would be open to a session that is more sensual and mutually-oriented than just a normal massage? Things like - would he be into cuddly intimacy? Would he be willing to be touched/admired in a sensual/sexual way, perhaps barring genital contact? Would he be willing to target erogenous zones even if the understanding is that it doesn't lead to full-on sex?

 

I would tend to think that asking questions like that might be considered too much of a "gray area" for honesty...or would it be? Would it seem like I'd be "baiting" them to see if they escort, or would they take the questions at face value? How would I express the desire to hire them for something that wasn't fully sexual, but wasn't a formal massage either?

 

Or, should I just not even entertain the idea?

[frame123]

I had similar questions and I was advised on this forum to be straightforward and ask to the masseurs what he is prepared to do and what he is not. However, it's also true that it depends a lot on the vibe -- one guy may agree to do something with someone and not with someone else... so in my view it is always a bit of a hit and miss experience. But the unknown is also what makes it exciting!

[+ José Soplanucas]

...but I'm asking again, lol.

 

I recently met a guy, on a whim, off of Craigslist, who said he was straight, not interested in sex, but was glad to provide cuddling and mutual sensual touch (no genital contact either way). It turned out rather nice, though we wound up talking more than touching (my fault completely lol). But it was a refreshing chance to feel intimate with a guy without feeling the need for "going all the way." Plus, he was more than happy to target my nipples, which for me is a huge erogenous zone. So it still felt like a sexy time, without being truly sex.

 

His ad seems to have disappeared in the meantime - I tend to wonder if he himself was trying this out. I don't seem to think this was a career for him. (His fees were VERY reasonable lol.)

 

In any case - this leads to questions about guys that do advertise on masseurfinder or other such sites. (And provoked by an ad for a Boston-based masseur that I just saw linked out here.) I would never just assume that such ads can also imply escorting (though I imagine that some of them do allow some kind of sexual contact, at least a so-called "happy ending"). But, how would you find out if a masseur like this would be open to a session that is more sensual and mutually-oriented than just a normal massage? Things like - would he be into cuddly intimacy? Would he be willing to be touched/admired in a sensual/sexual way, perhaps barring genital contact? Would he be willing to target erogenous zones even if the understanding is that it doesn't lead to full-on sex?

 

I would tend to think that asking questions like that might be considered too much of a "gray area" for honesty...or would it be? Would it seem like I'd be "baiting" them to see if they escort, or would they take the questions at face value? How would I express the desire to hire them for something that wasn't fully sexual, but wasn't a formal massage either?

 

Or, should I just not even entertain the idea?

 

Do not be afraid of your words being in a gray area. These guys work is rushing and grabbing your body parts. They are in a grey area. There are no questions that could be inappropriate if asked kindly.

[bostonman]

I guess by "gray area" I also mean, would they respond honestly, or would they consider my questions suspect? I guess it's hard to know for sure in any given case.

[+ beethoven]

I have found that if you ask politely, as you have been advised here, you will get a short, but accurate answer. You won't get much more, as these guys don't want to say anything that can get them in trouble. If you ask a strictly therapeutic about "pushing the envelope," you will probably not receive a response at all. It's the easiest thing for him, and sends the message just as easily as if he had to reply, "Sorry, but that's not what I do."

Frequently, masseurs will go quite far for some clients, and not for others. I have had that experience several times. And I've often wondered what the big deal was, because I didn't receive those extras. And I've been asked not to mention some of the "extras" in reviews, or even to tell others in e-mails or PMs, because they don't want to arouse expectations in other clients.

[+ not2rowdy]

With someone who is advertising as a masseur I would suggest just booking the session with massage as the goal. Nothing more and nothing less. Let him take the lead for the entire first session. Refrain from pushing the envelope. The primary goal should be a great massage. If that happens consider booking some follow on sessions. Be patient. Develop some trust between you. If you’re satisfied with the massage techniques, and if you feel you have “clicked”, then ask about additional services.

[+ beethoven]

Not2rowdy's post is not only excellent advice, but perfectly stated. As my friend in San Francisco would say, +1.

[bostonman]

And indeed, that was my instinct in the first place. Which is why I asked, lol.