Any suggestions for a first timer/virgin

[jawjateck]

Things that make you go........hmmmmmmmmmmmmm

[mattr]

I am kind of surprised at the number of responses that say the OP should go slow and hook-up rather than hire. I have read the pro and con arguments but I would think that if one wants to learn the ropes, why not hire an expert. As long as one has the mindset that this is to acquire/improve a skill set then I don't see the harm.

[+ José Soplanucas]

I am kind of surprised at the number of responses that say the OP should go slow and hook-up rather than hire. I have read the pro and con arguments but I would think that if one wants to learn the ropes, why not hire an expert. As long as one has the mindset that this is to acquire/improve a skill set then I don't see the harm.

 

Have you experienced the thrill of exploring your body and your partner's for the first time with no other tie than mutual attraction? Have you ever gotten lost in somebody else's eyes and body, and stayed hugging and melting into each other out of pure passion, completely free of time restriction, completely oblivious of time?

 

If you have, you should understand why. He is young, he does not have to catch up, it would be a shame to not have the chance to learn from his own clumsiness.

[+ harey]

@Greentea845 To be honest, I see both sides of the fence here but think you used good judgment in asking the forum for input. Old queens are often very protective people and that shows itself in a desire for others to benefit from their past lessons learned. I don't see the cause for concern in this case, because 24 isn't especially young. There is nothing dirty about sex and nothing immoral about hiring an escort. You won't be ruined for normal men because your first time is with a professional, and you did mention wanting to be taught. The risk is that you may get hurt pretty badly if you have unrealistic expectations.

 

It's important to remember that real emotional connection doesn't involve an exchange of time for money, but maybe you just want to explore physical attraction.

 

There are escorts who can "create the illusion" and provide exactly the experience you described. Some companions are genuinely decent, caring people. There are also escorts who may look the part but aren't very convincing actors. And there are escorts who look for emotionally vulnerable clients to exploit. You'll have to take your chances, unless you schedule a talk session over coffee first. If you have the funds, that's a good way to start with any new escort. Beginnings can be a little awkward (that's part of the fun!), so don't be disappointed if the first time is less than perfect, whether it's with an escort or a friend.

 

I hope you make the best decision for yourself. Good luck.

[Despardo]

I am kind of surprised at the number of responses that say the OP should go slow and hook-up rather than hire. I have read the pro and con arguments but I would think that if one wants to learn the ropes, why not hire an expert. As long as one has the mindset that this is to acquire/improve a skill set then I don't see the harm.

It depends entirely on the individual in question--what is it he is looking for? Perhaps he is not ready to hang around in bars for hours or days (or weeks) at a time hoping to shack up with somebody, or not ready to develop any kind of relationship with another man that would put pressure on him to perform, sexually or socially. Picking up a guy in a bar, club or on line is no guarantee that the sexual experience will be any good at all (I have certainly had my share of duds, freaks, flakes, and unpleasant surprises.) In fact, chances are better for enjoyable sex with a sympathetic suitable quality escort who won't be disappointed if his client is inexperienced and freezes up or otherwise sexually under performs.

 

Now if the young man (we seem to have established that he is young (?), though I have no idea how young) is attractive and self confident (I don't see much evidence of self confidence in this threat--trepidation, rather.) meeting another horny guy at a bar may be easy for him. When I was young, I was not especially attractive, had little or no self confidence and was terrible at flirting or cruising. I found gay bars to be intimidating and highly competitive, if picturesque, environments. Sometimes, they could be fun. I, however, knew exactly what I wanted and was determined to get it however long it took. This gentleman, from what I can tell, is trying to find out if he likes having sex with men at all. I can see getting that question answered as efficiently as possible. In my case, I was desperate to have sex with men from a very early age. I lost my virginity in a dingy NY bath house with a shoe salesman from New Jersey whom I didn't particularly like--it was not a beautiful experience. I was, however, persistent and soldiered on, and on, and on--for years.

 

Hiring a well vetted professional for an hour of experimentation in a safe and controlled environment may be a good way for someone curious, but uncertain and not fully committed, to begin to explore his sexuality. After that, his options are endless. As I said at the beginning of this post, it depends on the individual's needs. I don't think he will be ruined for life by having a positive experience with a professional. Back before teenage sex became the norm, college guys would sometimes pool their money and hire a female prostitute just so they could lose their virginity, but I don't think it necessarily spoiled them for all other women. Neither was I ruined for life by a stress-filled experience with a shoe salesman from New Jersey. I think the poster here is looking for a little cock, not the love of his life.

[Juan Vancouver]

Oy Gevolt!

 

This is a perfect example in which we see the perfect division between the dehumanizing commodification of sexual acts and the yearn for a human, intimate, fulfilling experience.

 

GreenTea, as your big brother, I affectionately tell you that I sincerely hope you understand that there is absolutely no way to replicate or substitute the magic, the excitement, the clumsiness, the eye-opening, life-changing experience of discovering your sexuality with a partner who wants you. Not your money, you.

 

You deserve that kind of experience. Once you go the paid way, it is very likely you will continue paying for the rest of your life and/or seeing interpersonal relationships as something that has to be bought. I have seen it many, many times. There is no going back from it.

 

I am an escort. I am a loving, caring man. I am very adept at helping others explore their bodies and creating an atmosphere of trust and relaxation. I sincerely like my clients and want them to be happy... I am a great guy, yet...

 

I don't deserve to take your first time.

 

Your first time shouldn't be a purchase. It will stay with you for your whole life.

 

Make it as true, as intimate, as real as you can.

 

Wishing you all the best, little brother!

[Epigonos]

 

Grown men who had their first experience with us have often have told Thor and I that we have ruined them for real life. We created an understandable expectation that every partner should be fit, handsome, hung as a horse, have porn like stamina, be totally focused, eager, absolutely have no demands of his own, be technically skilled and passionate about his delivery, be available whenever he is needed, be easy, fun, friendly and always make him feel wanted, hot and able.

 

This expectation has ruined every single other encounter with non working men. There is absolutely no way a regular partner would exhibit all these traits at the same time... because he is not giving a service, but enjoying his own life.

 

 

 

 

Astounding post!!!!!!

[Despardo]

Astounding post!!!!!!

Well the post certainly speaks well for Thor and Juan's remarkable life changing abilities. Perhaps there should be a warning label on their ads (like the one on Viagra about 5 hour erections...) Just kidding Juan. Your reputation speaks for itself. No offense meant. My point, more simply put is that a first sexual experience with a non-escort can also be a life changing experience, and not always (or even often) a good one. Did we ever establish with our curious young man whether he has experience having sex with women? If he is a total virgin, then yes, he would be better off finding a normal guy he likes and going through all that that entails. If he is sexually experienced and gay curious and just wants to give it a shot to see if the pieces fit (so to speak,) well that is something else again. It is my hope that the diverse opinions on this thread (valid from different perspectives) will help him to make a decision that is right for him. On the other hand, the guy may just have been asking for the time, and here we are teaching him to build a watch.

[down_to_business]

I don't often agree with Dr. Juan. I value his opinion, but it's usually polar opposite to mine. On this issue, I agree with him 100%. What a beautifully written and caring post that puts the well being of others before personal gain.

 

Bravo!!!

[LADoug1]

I agree that it is dicey to give advice on such a personal matter to someone I don't know. In some respects, hiring a sympathetic escort might be the least complicated way to experience sex with a man for the first time. You don't have those potentially awkward issues like when is it time for him to leave?, do I have to make him breakfast?, should I call him the next day or wait until he calls me?, etc. There is that whole social/emotional thing in a "real life" encounter that can be great, but very often is embarrassing or confusing. With an escort, mutual expectations are clear. Chances that you would fall in love with the first man you slept with are extremely low. If things don't go as well as you might have wished, with an escort, you can simply walk away. I think I have had over the years more disappointing (or downright horrible) sexual experiences with guys I picked up at a bar or club than with escorts in general--there are way more variables at play. For some people, trying to attract a guy at a gay bar can be an awkward, frustrating, intimidating, embarrassing, disappointing, or downright frightening (not to mention time consuming) experience. If all you want to do is finally to have a physical experience with a man (get it out of the way, as it were,) a sympathetic escort may be an intelligent choice. I have no experience with Dane Scott, but assuming he is your type, the comments on this thread amount to a thunderous endorsement (information I have shelved for future reference.) From my SoCal days, I seem to remember that the drive from LA to Palm Springs is about 2.5 hours and therefore a day trip. If your car AC is working well, you might consider heading there for a day or book a room for one night (off season rates will apply.) As I said, I don't know Dane, but I can see that maybe lunch or dinner plus 2 hours alone with this man would constitute an exciting adventure for you. If the experience is a bust, I recommend the fabulous Palm Springs Art Museum which is in itself worth the drive.

++++1