space...

[Brian Kevin]

Is just a word made up by someone whose afraid to get to close.

 

 

Have you ever experinced this?

 

To be, I've learned these are people who don't love themselves.

 

If I like you I don't lust after you or let it get the best of me.

 

"Cause if I want ya, and I want ya babe, won't ask for space, because space is just a word made up by someone whose afraid to get close, oh so close, want you close, I want you stay close a close a close"

 

Working with grandma has taught me a lot. I've become even a better person. Working hand in hand with hospice 7 days a week has made me even more humble and calm.

 

They commend me for the sacrifices I've made. Family doesn't help or commit. I barely make it to and from work without them texting me they're ready to leave. My heart aches for my grandma cause no one would fucking be here without me. That's pitiful and disgusting. I've been contemplating a last name change after she passes. It's clear to me there's no team in the word family, but everyone else but me is in the will. Nothing is more valuable than this time I have with her. We are no longer estranged nor do we have anomoisty between us any longer. She's calmed me down once from when a family member crossed a line and disrespectes us, I looked at grandma, she nodded "do it!" I picked her up and removed her and her boyfriend from the house dropped her on her ass and told her to never come back. My grandma, weak as hell clapped and Cheered from her bed in the living room. It's great but why bring that BULLSHIT her, go to Detroit or the East side of Cleveland with that petty bullshit!

[mike carey]

You're doing good, Brian, keep doing it. You don't need to change your name, people will rejoice in your role regardless.

[+ Phactor]

Keep at it Brian. I haven't had to deal with a Hospice situation yet, but I have been the one that everyone in the family calls on when a crisis or some drama occurs. I've taken care of a sister who became physically disabled when she was three, a brother who was diagnosed with a mental disability when he was five, a sister who struggles with mental health, and a mother, who never really grew up, and has been dealing with multiple health issues over the last 8 years. I've been there when the rest of the family doesn't pitch in or bother to offer to help. While it may not come right away or you may not even notice it, one day you will be rewarded for loving and caring for others.

[whipped guy]

Funny, but I just sent a PM to a forum member who is going through a rough patch and related to him the fact that I had gone through something quite similar and had to deal with it all on my own. I did so not to pat myself on the back, but rather to make him know that I understood what he was experiencing. It's funny how when things get tough out there suddenly friends and family totally disappear only to reappear when it's time for a funeral. I did my nine year tour of duty as an only child dealing alone with my two parents and have no regrets.

 

So to Brian, we have never met, but I can totally relate to your present situation. I also know from your posts here that you are giving type of individual. In fact you have given to others way and above the call of duty. As @Phactor notes above givers will always be rewarded. Your time will come of that I'm sure. Thinking of you and sending positive energy as well...

[Brian Kevin]

Thanks guys I feel so drained, for the first time in my life I'm in bed before 8pm. The price we pay for blood. My grandma oa thankful, as are your family @Phactor . it sucks no one else really comes minus the aides I pay when I have work, but at least this way the people that are here want to be here. My grandma is the only one who knows the sacrifices I'm making to be here. I could be in another state as planned right now. This next trip, will be even more glorious because of that.