Why do you hire?

[MikeyGMin]

Damn. This thread has brought out some heartbreaking stories. It puts "too old to get the hot young guys" into perspective.

 

I knew the deaf community could be less than accepting of people who had implants or were not "all in" on the culture, but I had no idea they also had problems with people who could speak well. I know there's a correlation in there about how the gay community treats its own people. It's gotta be tough getting it from both sides.

[wanderer]

Mo Mason:

 

I too was bullied for not being masculine enough. I hated school because I never fit in and I didn't like home because it was broken and I always felt unsafe. I avoided everything and everyone. I didn't have any real friends until I was in college, and even then, it was a struggle. I didn't know how to relate to anyone or how to manage social interactions, and honestly, it was an emotional roller coaster for me (especially my first crush). It took me several years and some mistakes to learn how to interact with people and get over my social anxiety.

 

However, I can say that I am happy that I was forced out of my comfort zone. I have a few close friends and I am comfortable meeting new people. I still struggle with some things, but I have learned to look at things as a process / continuum. I sometimes have to remind myself of that. I don't want to sound too cliché, but if you put the effort into it and don't get discouraged, things can get better/easier.

 

 

Now to answer your question, and I only recently started to hire, but it is complicated. I still struggle with showing affection – hugging, kissing, cuddling – I feel very awkward and I am trying to desensitize myself to it. Sucking dick, no problem, but kissing is whole another story for me. I also have some self-esteem / perception problems, although rightfully so. I recently lost about 100lbs and I refuse to pay for the nips and tucks until I hit my goal weight. I worry about rejection; easier to just say such and such in an email, leave my shirt on, and not worry about it.

[Reluctant Daddy]

This thread pretty much reduced me to tears this morning. A huge hug to Mo and the others who have bared their souls.

[+ smara]

I hire escorts simply because I'm butt ugly and have never been able to pick up anyone on my own. One of my worst days was when an escort turned me down saying he couldn't go through with it after we had started the deed. At least he had the decency to return my money. It doesn't matter though. That's the way life is sometimes.

Many honest warm posts here. I am an ugly old man who desires the warmth and company of young men and the only way I can get that is by hiring. Even among almost a dozen or so guys that I have hired in the past several years, only two could even bring themselves to close their eyes and even kiss me and I am thankful. I still see one of them ( a very popular one) frequently and he tries his best to put up with me and pretend to like me etc and goes through the ordeal of seeing me; probably mostly for the easy money and he maybe taking advantage of me but there maybe some pity also involved. These days I feel so guilty about putting him through this suffering of seeing me as I really like him. Though I know that he doesn't give a hoot for me as a person (but then no one does, not even my own kids!) I still look forward to meeting him. For someone like me with so much self-pity, seeing another person offering pity is an even worse feeling. I try to spend my days waiting for all this self-loathing to end ............ Please do not feel sorry for me - that is not the reason why I write this. I just wanted to get it off my chest

[LADoug1]

Many honest warm posts here. I am an ugly old man who desires the warmth and company of young men and the only way I can get that is by hiring. Even among almost a dozen or so guys that I have hired in the past several years, only two could even bring themselves to close their eyes and even kiss me and I am thankful. I still see one of them ( a very popular one) frequently and he tries his best to put up with me and pretend to like me etc and goes through the ordeal of seeing me; probably mostly for the easy money and he maybe taking advantage of me but there maybe some pity also involved. These days I feel so guilty about putting him through this suffering of seeing me as I really like him. Though I know that he doesn't give a hoot for me as a person (but then no one does, not even my own kids!) I still look forward to meeting him. For someone like me with so much self-pity, seeing another person offering pity is an even worse feeling. I try to spend my days waiting for all this self-loathing to end ............ Please do not feel sorry for me - that is not the reason why I write this. I just wanted to get it off my chest

I'm sorry for your self-loathing. Hope you can move past that. I battle with it too sometimes. Therapy with the right professionals has helped. I recommend "The Velvet Rage " as a good read and way to help.

[Mo Mason]

Well now, I'm a little overwhelmed. I decided to spend the weekend away from my computer and I've returned to all of this love and encouragement. Thank you all so much for this support, and for sharing your stories and advice as well. It has been my goal for years and years to get out more but, of course, that is so much easier said than done. But it is nice to have an online forum like this for communication.

 

You're all so nice. I didn't expect that, but I so appreciate it.

[COBRA]

I was married and have children, after my divorce I hired because it was easy, than I found love , after my companion died I hired again, some of those men became very close friends ( one since 1981... ) now that I am old I have a regular I see once a week since 2005 and when I go for a few month in my vacation house I have another regular since 2012 .

I had an ok childhood , in high school in a boys only establishment I "played " with other boys, I had sex with young men my age and a few older women, I got a woman my age pregnant....so I got married.

[WolfRamNHard]

I've only hired a few times and I'm not an expert by any means, but I do so because the sexual experience is much more satisfying with an escort. Furthermore, since it's more of a sure thing, I don't have to deal with all the protracted back-and-forth and the incertitude that comes with the use of dating apps, not to mention the bar scene. Having said that, I do casually check dating apps from time to time but nowadays I only pursue if someone really special catches my eye (i.e., seems to be worth all the work it's going to take to "land" him). Hiring is much more straightforward.

[Becket]

I agree with Klifhangar. Considering this thread and the one Brian Kevin started about his grandmother in hospice, it is encouraging to see the level of friendship and compassion here. It's a nice balance against the drama and the bitching, which truth be told, I also enjoy reading. But as for the topic as to why we hire, I agree with just about everything that has been posted above.