HATRED = illness? HATRED = evil?

[jackjackjack]

I think at some point in our lives we have all felt 'hatred' towards something or someone. I'm not talking about, 'I hate broccoli' or 'I hate this weather' or 'I hate what you're wearing'. More about hate directed to a person or group of people, so intense that it can do detriment to your health. Can it literally make you ill....physically sick? Can your hatred be so consuming of your life, that it affects people around you? We can all be a little 'bitchy' sometimes, but can you be around a person that has so much hate filled rhetoric, that you'd rather not be around them? That they exudes so much negative energy, that if you're with them, that negativity transfers to you. I think many people recognize them and if they're smart, they don't let these negative people be any part of their lives.

And can hatred be defined as evil? At what point is someone evil? Are people who have rabid, almost irrational hatred, evil? Hitler hated Jews...let millions of Jews and Russians to die.....evil? Or Stalin, Moa, etc. Do you have to murder millions of people to be evil or can having such obsessive, compulsive hatred (all consuming in your life) to some person(s) or some group, make you evil...evil in your heart or mind?

BUT CAN THIS TYPE OF HATRED, be that of an EVIL PERSON

Maybe this reflects on some people in this forum or someone.... maybe even you.... or someone in your life

[down_to_business]

I think that many people who have irrational hatred for things hate themselves for being part of that group and hence take it out on the group. Like someone who is gay and doesn't want to be gay, so he dedicates his life to making gay people miserable all because he hates himself for being gay. i.e. a closeted politician who votes his entire life against all gay rights (parental, marriage equality, workplace discrimination etc.)

[caliguy]

I've never had hate for a group of people but I have hated one or two persons in my life. I had plenty of evil thoughts of their many different demises too. Over time it was detrimental to my health, mental state and it effected me in relationships with other people. I still intensely dislike them but I don't let them effect me like that anymore. Nor will I let anyone else again.

[caliguy]

I think that many people who have irrational hatred for things hate themselves for being part of that group and hence take it out on the group. Like someone who is gay and doesn't want to be gay, so he dedicates his life to making gay people miserable all because he hates himself for being gay. i.e. a closeted politician who votes his entire life against all gay rights (parental, marriage equality, workplace discrimination etc.)

I used to bully and hurt an obvious gay kid in middle school. I remember how intensely angry he made me feel. I can only imagine how that anger would multiply and manifest itself in adult life if I didn't accept myself.

[jjkrkwood]

I have felt hatred, but only for Individuals that have wronged or intentionally hurt me, NEVER groups of people. Hate is a natural emotion, but can quickly become unnatural and irrational when directed towards "groups" of individuals whose purpose you dont understand or agree with... Education and involvement is key to rationalization...

[+ glennnn]

Regarding antipathy between indivuduals, I think it is easier to handle, and avoid psychic damage, from feelings of extreme hated if one can cut the object of hatred from one's life in some way, ie through counseling, avoidance, ignoring it, negotiation, etc. When repeatedly trapped in some way with the hated individual or group (at work, at school, in your neighborhood) with no chance for relief, the hatred can fester and become a fixation which can ultimately turn deadly. Look at how many desperate "haters" attack the hated in despair of ever normalizing the relationship and then kill themselves, too. The hatred becomes so painful they would rather be dead than let it continue. Most of us are tied to jobs, homes and relationships that are hard to change and are at the mercy of those we associate with on a daily basis.

[seaboy4hire]

I had a manager that was very negative and rarely spoke positive, she was kind of a drama queen. I could feel her negativity rubbing off on me after a while. It started to effect the way I thought and felt. Eventually after a lil while longer when she would speak ill I would think happy thoughts, a happy memory from the past or a feel good song that made me wanna shake my butt. I did it to drown out the negativity and guess what! It worked for me. I became a slightly more positive and happy person and her negativity was powerless against my happiness.

 

Hugs,

Greg

[seaboy4hire]

It sucks to say buy my sister literally has and still has hatred for me. I had to block her from 2 numbers and haven't spoken to her since last june. She found me watching gay porn when I was 16 and ever since then she has tried to make my life miserable. She would abuse me to the point where my face and neck and hands were scratched up and since she's a girl I couldn't really do anything. Not just psychical abuse but mental as well. She would say the worst things every single day, she would say things as Im going to make your life miserable every single day. She would usually do this when my mom and dad weren't around. It didnt help that my mom would try to figure out what sexuality I am and ask questions every day and my dad was the complete opposite he wouldn't talk to me at all. My sister does have an illness however she was diagnosed with bipolar (borderline personality disorder) so I don't know if that makes her hatred for me come out more. But yes things got worse when he mom and dad retired and left the place to my sister and me. I literally had to move out twice, first time I couch surfed for a month, 2nd time I crashed at my boyfriends for 3 months.

 

Call me an ass hole but idc what gender one identifies with, if someone hits me it's on like Donkey Kong. Man, woman, trans whatever, you wanna bring then I'm gonna squash it.

 

Hugs,

Greg

[jjkrkwood]

It sucks to say buy my sister literally has and still has hatred for me. I had to block her from 2 numbers and haven't spoken to her since last june. She found me watching gay porn when I was 16 and ever since then she has tried to make my life miserable. She would abuse me to the point where my face and neck and hands were scratched up and since she's a girl I couldn't really do anything. Not just psychical abuse but mental as well. She would say the worst things every single day, she would say things as Im going to make your life miserable every single day. She would usually do this when my mom and dad weren't around. It didnt help that my mom would try to figure out what sexuality I am and ask questions every day and my dad was the complete opposite he wouldn't talk to me at all. My sister does have an illness however she was diagnosed with bipolar (borderline personality disorder) so I don't know if that makes her hatred for me come out more. But yes things got worse when he mom and dad retired and left the place to my sister and me. I literally had to move out twice, first time I couch surfed for a month, 2nd time I crashed at my boyfriends for 3 months.

 

 

Well I have a brother, who doesnt have any bipolar disorder, but despises me, and hence we havent spoken for over 30 years because I am gay. so when people tell me it's ALL about family... I say BULLSHIT !

[MikeyGMin]

Plenty of people I don't like, quite a few I despise, but I think I fall short of actually hating anyone. I despise Donald Trump, but I don't wish death upon him, and that's the kind of intense emotion and animosity that I have always associated with hate.

 

I may have been lucky in my life and been spared the situations that make you hate people. The closest I've come is the man who ran a red light and T-boned my partner. I certainly hated what he did and wanted to see him punished in some way, but even then I knew that he wasn't being malicious. I probably would have hated him had he beaten my partner to death or something intentional like that.

 

My struggle with a destructive emotion has always been jealousy. Now that one has made me do some irrational shit in my life.

[jjkrkwood]

The thing that bothers me is my mom is always trying to get me and my sister to get along. She tries to say its not her fault she does the things she does. She's ill and can't control it. My sister and my dad are also cool now which bothers me... I know the incident took place over 10 years ago when she was a teen but how can you be cool with everything she put the family through but you aren't close to me bc Im gay

 

 

All families have a bit of dysfunction, whether its visible or kept in the closet. You're an adult now, and self-sufficient. You need to do whats best for YOU. Just because they are family, doesnt give them a pass if it makes you uncomfortable. Family are individuals that love, support and protect you, and not always the people you were "born" to...

[beachboy]

Well I have a brother, who doesnt have any bipolar disorder, but despises me, and hence we havent spoken for over 30 years because I am gay. so when people tell me it's ALL about family... I say BULLSHIT !

Me too. I solved it by moving home, changing my phone no & not telling him.

[sincitymix]

my sister and I used to fight.. well she would beat me up physically, I was taught never to hit a girl, so got the brunt of my sisters often irrational wrath. Our relationship as brother sister relationship was headed towards one of extreme hatred... then she finally got diagnosed and went on meds, adhd and borderline bipolar or some such diagnosis.. Since then our relationship has done a complete 360. We get along great, we have great conversations, can actually stand to be around each other.

As for hating.. yes I have had an individual who has wronged me so much, that my hatred could destroy all life on earth if it released as ambient energy. I would scream internally pure hatred and rage, and wish the full wrath and twisted chaos torture evil that is the dark elder gods to just annihilate this person. Even thinking about it makes my hand inch towards sharp instruments and make me want to go deep deep deep into the psychotic side of things:P

its always the quiet ones, eh?

[jjkrkwood]

The person that stole over 60k from me was a young woman for whom I worked at one time. We were friends and I trusted her, until she fucked me and reneged on a loan I made to her.

 

Well I never was one to believe in karma, and friendship turned to extreme hatred... BUT 4 years after the fact, the bitch took ill and died at 40 years old... KARMA !

[caliguy]

The person that stole over 60k from me was a young woman for whom I worked at one time. We were friends and I trusted her, until she fucked me and reneged on a loan I made to her.

 

Well I never was one to believe in karma, and friendship turned to extreme hatred... BUT 4 years after the fact, the bitch took ill and died at 40 years old... KARMA !

That's really tough. I'm surprised illness did her in before someone did it for her.

[Bearofdistinction]

I think that many people who have irrational hatred for things hate themselves for being part of that group and hence take it out on the group. Like someone who is gay and doesn't want to be gay, so he dedicates his life to making gay people miserable all because he hates himself for being gay. i.e. a closeted politician who votes his entire life against all gay rights (parental, marriage equality, workplace discrimination etc.)

 

I HATE - Knife-wielding near-sighted Druid Mohels - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mohel

 

https://www.google.com/search?q=Moyle&biw=1366&bih=598&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwj3uKaptrzLAhWE2T4KHbtbA_UQ_AUIBygC#tbm=isch&q=mohel+circumcision&imgrc=hFZx7ff3DZ8O0M%3A

[LADoug1]

Hatred does make me feel ill mentally and that can lead to physical symptoms.

 

I have found however that if I hate a person the feeling of hatred almost always changes over time. It doesn't mean that I accept that person back in my life but I guess I process the hatred with thought and forgiveness. I am grateful when I am able to do that. The ability to forgive is a gift and a blessing.

[+ bigjoey]

Hatred does make me feel ill mentally and that can lead to physical symptoms.

 

I have found however that if I hate a person in my life the feeling of hatred changes over time. It doesn't mean that I accept that person back in my life but I guess I process the hatred with thought and forgiveness. I am grateful when I am able to do that. The ability to forgive is a gift and a blessing.

 

In another forum, there was a discussion on this topic. My belief is that when you have intense hatred of another, it allows the other person to control your life; they have power over you and your actions. As LADoug1 noted, it is a blessing to be able to process the hatred with forgiveness (that does not mean to forget or remember) and to be able to control your own emotions.

 

We recently saw a great example of this in Charleston, SC when a crazed man murdered nine people in church; the families of the victims surprised the world by telling the killer they only had forgiveness for him and not hate. People in our secular world could not comprehend the loving way they responded to the murder of their family members. The did not let the killer take over their lives. Compare that to the (legally justified) shooting of Michael Brown in Ferguson, Mo where the step father lead a riot by jumping up and down on a car yelling "Burn this bitch down!" and looting and rioting followed. The hate continues today. Those Charleston church members were moral giants for substituting forgiveness for hate. It can be done; it is hard work but it is necessary work. Hate destroys but forgiveness heals.

[curiousnomore]

I understand the point you are making.

For me, Hate requires too much energy, so I save it for the Bitch I'm married to.

[+ bigjoey]

I understand the point you are making.

For me, Hate requires too much energy, so I save it for the Bitch I'm married to.

 

 

Exactly, hate requires too much energy that can be better expended doing more beneficial things.

 

As I have recounted several times, I volunteer at a senior living facility. Over the years, I met and interacted with many Holocaust survivors and I have been amazed at how many harbored no hate. It could be that the decades that passed was one reason but another was that perhaps they were like those church people in Charleston who forgave rather than hated; perhaps the positive attitude they had of looking to the future helped them survive into old age. It was meeting many of these people that got me thinking that a positive attitude was good for ones health and socialization.