Butt Plug or Dildo to step up my game?

[joselowe]

I've had anal sex a few times, but I am entirely too damn tight.

 

So far I've read Butt Plugs and Dildos are the best. I want to make a purchase to prepare me for this guy that's pretty wide.

 

 

Which is better for expanding my anus wide in preparation for anal sex, Butt Plugs or Dildo?

[MikeyGMin]

I'm not much of a bottom so this is second hand from a friend who is a hungry bottom. He uses a smallish dildo right before sex to get warmed up, but he doesn't try to permanently train himself to be less tight. I don't think anyone wants that. He just does it with his partner as foreplay or excuses himself and goes to the bathroom to "freshen up" before sex.

[marylander1940]

I've had anal sex a few times, but I am entirely too damn tight.

 

So far I've read Butt Plugs and Dildos are the best. I want to make a purchase to prepare me for this guy that's pretty wide.

 

 

Which is better for expanding my anus wide in preparation for anal sex, Butt Plugs or Dildo?

 

Try both!

[BabyBoomer]

Try both!

 

At the same time?

 

~ Boomer ~

[marylander1940]

At the same time?

 

~ Boomer ~

 

that only works for women, LOL

[Izaak]

I've had anal sex a few times, but I am entirely too damn tight.

 

So far I've read Butt Plugs and Dildos are the best. I want to make a purchase to prepare me for this guy that's pretty wide.

 

 

Which is better for expanding my anus wide in preparation for anal sex, Butt Plugs or Dildo?

 

I would definitely go with using both haha not at the same time though...

 

Use a butt plug to first to stimulate that tight hole of yours . Then, after your hole gets hungry for the main dish , you can try the dildo !

I know that feeling about being "too tight" I have that too! It sucks at times, but if you use enough fore play, it can be so enjoyable for you and your partner.

A dildo you can go as deep as you want , and find your spot.. Just don't forget the lube

 

Enjoy!!

[TruthBTold]

I agree. Either one is damn fine pre-fun but not as a regular training exercise. Tight is usually nice. Ask your partner for some pre-fuck fun, like a nice rimming and some fingering. Then tell him you're tight and ask him to go slow. Most tops sort of like things that are edging you toward enjoyment. Or at times I like putting him on his back and controlling the speed and depth of the fuck. I love making him experience the pleasure I want to give him and in many cases give him the orgasm I want him to have.

[joselowe]

Im always tight as well even after the occasional dildo play i do from time to time. Being tight isn't a bad thing though, it feels better for the top My advice is get a slim dildo and prepare a little like others said, a dildo is better than a plug as u can practice taking it deeper as well.

 

Or my second option is just telling the tops you meet your really tight, and to go slow and tease your ass with there cock or finger slowly until your more loosen up to bottom. Also make sure they go really slow and are patient while first entering you, and to do a couple slow gentle strokes to warm you up, that should help bud, enjoy the ride bud

I would think loose feels better. Most straight men like vaginas which expand like hell. I'm versatile and I prefer loose over tight. i feel bad because when guys top me they usually stop because I'm in pain

[joselowe]

I would definitely go with using both haha not at the same time though...

 

Use a butt plug to first to stimulate that tight hole of yours . Then, after your hole gets hungry for the main dish , you can try the dildo !

I know that feeling about being "too tight" I have that too! It sucks at times, but if you use enough fore play, it can be so enjoyable for you and your partner.

A dildo you can go as deep as you want , and find your spot.. Just don't forget the lube

 

Enjoy!!

I'm a bit scared I read about dildos getting stuck in some people lol

[LADoug1]

Im always tight as well even after the occasional dildo play i do from time to time. Being tight isn't a bad thing though, it feels better for the top My advice is get a slim dildo and prepare a little like others said, a dildo is better than a plug as u can practice taking it deeper as well.

 

Or my second option is just telling the tops you meet your really tight, and to go slow and tease your ass with there cock or finger slowly until your more loosen up to bottom. Also make sure they go really slow and are patient while first entering you, and to do a couple slow gentle strokes to warm you up, that should help bud, enjoy the ride bud

And don't forget about rimming!

[marylander1940]

...

 

Or my second option is just telling the tops you meet your really tight, and to go slow and tease your ass with there cock or finger slowly until your more loosen up to bottom. Also make sure they go really slow and are patient while first entering you, and to do a couple slow gentle strokes to warm you up, that should help bud, enjoy the ride bud

 

How do you prefer to take it at first? Doggy, seating on it, legs up, etc.

 

I always tell you guys are tight to use a cream called Anal eze (ease) and I make sure to do plenty of fingering.

[Izaak]

How do you prefer to take it at first? Doggy, seating on it, legs up, etc.

 

I always tell you guys are tight to use a cream called Anal eze (ease) and I make sure to do plenty of fingering.

I've tried that , the cream Lol.

It seems to not work for me, but the fingering is sure what's a lifesaver

[Izaak]

I'm a bit scared I read about dildos getting stuck in some people lol

That's true , I had that worries too man. In fact , the idea of using toys scared me. You have to go with a toy that you feel comfortable with, it's like a good investment that's going to help you:pget more satisfaction. I would invest in a good quality one, like the ones that come with the "testes" and have that suction. It's so convenient to use and I don't have to worry about it getting lost in my hole

Oh.. Don't forget the lube hahaha

Just start of slow and remember to relax :cool:and you'll see how hungry you'll get

[Izaak]

Is

I would think loose feels better. Most straight men like vaginas which expand like hell. I'm versatile and I prefer loose over tight. i feel bad because when guys top me they usually stop because I'm in pain

Is your pain like, you feel a burning sensation or more like you have to go poop really badly ?

[+ glennnn]

The great advantages to sitting on his cock while he reclines are your legs are drawn up against your chest opening up a channel for him and you control the angle and depth of penetration. My first two times were missionary and doggie and I had some pain. Then we tried me riding on top and it was really good. Keep trying. It's certainly worth it.

[LADoug1]

The great advantages to sitting on his cock while he reclines are your legs are drawn up against your chest opening up a channel for him and you control the angle and depth of penetration. My first two times were missionary and doggie and I had some pain. Then we tried me riding on top and it was really good. Keep trying. It's certainly worth it.

 

I agree. Sitting on his cock gives you more control about penetration. When it hurts you can back off, relax, and try some more.

[Rusty Blue]

IMHO

I'd say use a dildo! You'll outgrow your butt plug quite quickly, unless its massive (why go that far).

Think about the size of what usually comes out and then get something SLIGHTLY larger

Remember to take your time and make sure you're comfortable. Sometimes its fun to extend your comfort limits.

Use lots of lube and if you're playing with latex toys/condoms, make sure you avoid using silicone lube as that disintegrates your latex.

I DON'T prefer a tight hole. Its much nicer when a hole is relaxed.

Being versatile, I get to have all the fun. Wheeee!

[curiousnomore]

If you want to take charge, go with a Dildo.

 

If you want to learn to "take it" get a plug.

[Juan Vancouver]

Hey Jose,

 

Definitely a dildo, but make sure it has balls, so that it can't all go inside you by accident. Yes, it happens and the ER is the only way to deal with it.

 

Now, there is no need to go crazy on the size. I am going to share a secret that might change the way you look at your ass. Your ass is not tight. Tightness doesn't happen in your ass, tightness happens in your mind. The dildo is a great tool for you to play with yourself and relax, and relax and... RELAX. Breathing, jerking off, using tons of lube, learning the angles that work well for you. Once you become the master of your own ass, tightness will not longer be a problem. You know how to clean, you know hot to pre-lube and open yourself with a couple fingers before every top, you know your pace, you know your angles. Once you are in control, you can tighten up your ass and bite your partner's dick with it, or you can simply relax and open up as wide and delicious as you can.

 

You are right in assuming that it is your duty as a bottom to learn to relax and be open.

 

Being tight isn't a bad thing though, it feels better for the top

 

I disagree. "Tight feels good" is a mantra created by the porn industry. An ass has to be relaxed, open, receptive, fuckable. It has to feel welcoming as opposed to feeling as if you might lose the dick inside because it's so tight it's going to chop it off. The hole preparation before fucking is precisely to make the ass open and loose.

 

Not to mention that a tight ass is only an injury waiting to happen.

 

I would think loose feels better. I'm versatile and I prefer loose over tight.

 

Yep.

 

Or my second option is just telling the tops you meet your really tight, and to go slow

 

NEVER leave the responsibility to the top. It's YOUR ass. If it is a stupid or careless top, your ass will be destroyed. YOU open it up. YOU finger yourself in front of the top, and you decide the rhythm in which you get fucked. The universal rule in the bedroom is "If you get it inside, YOU decide".

 

I always tell you guys are tight to use a cream called Anal eze (ease) and I make sure to do plenty of fingering.

 

NEVER.... NEVER.... NEVER!!!! use Analeze or any numbing cream (or chemical) to deal with the pain in your ass during penetration.

 

Pain is there to make sure you are not ripping your insides. It happens, way more often than you can imagine. If you get an internal wound it can take years to heal and it can forever kill your ability to enjoy your ass.

 

NEVER numb your ass.

 

If it hurts, stop. Slow down. Use more lube. Try a different angle. Try a different dick. Try a different activity until you feel ready again.

 

When it comes to anal sex, there should be absolutely nothing forced about it. If it is not going smoothly, it should not be going in.

 

Never, fucking EVER numb your ass.

[Juan Vancouver]

A toned, exercised sphincter can relax and tighten at will. A toned, strong sphincter is totally different than a tight hole.

 

A hypo-tonic sphincter (a flappy, loose hole) is not the same than a relaxed hole.

 

Tight or floppy are two extremes but show a lack of control. What I am suggesting is the opposite, which is deliberate control and careful understanding of how your own body works.

 

I would say that no tightness is ever good, in the sense that tightness is involuntary. What you don't control, controls you. Tone, on the other hand, delivers an unforgettable experience, but what is more important, allows the bottom to remain in control, maintaining his instrument healthy and without injuries.

[mike carey]

Tightness doesn't happen in your ass, tightness happens in your mind.

You are right in assuming that it is your duty as a bottom to learn to relax and be open.

I get that relaxation is essentially in my mind as a bottom, and also that I need to learn how do it. I've also seen tops in this forum and in ads say that it is their job to get their dick in there, and I emphasise that they were saying they believe they can coach the bottom through the process and help him understand how to do it (not just use brute force). I haven't done the working on my hole that you describe, mainly because I had no idea what I should do, but now you've posted that it's given me more to think about and more strategies. Also, experienced tops I've hired (not all that many, I'm late to all this) have helped me through the process. As is the case with BDSM discussed in other threads, a top who has also bottomed will be better able to help a new bottom through the experience.

Tight or floppy are two extremes but show a lack of control. What I am suggesting is the opposite, which is deliberate control and careful understanding of how your own body works.

Juan, I totally understand. My sensitivity to what my arse is doing is not all that great, so I need to work on that as well. Thank you for your always helpful posts in subjects like this.

[marylander1940]

...

 

 

NEVER.... NEVER.... NEVER!!!! use Analeze or any numbing cream (or chemical) to deal with the pain in your ass during penetration.

 

Pain is there to make sure you are not ripping your insides. It happens, way more often than you can imagine. If you get an internal wound it can take years to heal and it can forever kill your ability to enjoy your ass.

 

NEVER numb your ass.

 

If it hurts, stop. Slow down. Use more lube. Try a different angle. Try a different dick. Try a different activity until you feel ready again.

 

When it comes to anal sex, there should be absolutely nothing forced about it. If it is not going smoothly, it should not be going in.

 

Never, fucking EVER numb your ass.

 

To each his own!

 

I'd rather use anal eze on a guy who's "Asian tight" instead of just lubricant, there's a reason that product (and possibly others) is use on Sean Cody, CF, etc. to make straight guys bottom, and is also use in straight porno for girls to be able to bottom.

 

One more time: to each his own, let's don't overuse it every day. May we agree on that?

[+ quoththeraven]

Some of us don't need anal eze, thank you. I have never experienced pain (as opposed to feeling uncomfortably full or as if I need to use the toilet, but that's only if entry has been quick) while bottoming anally. I have experienced pain while bottoming vaginally. (Sorry; I know some don't like that word, but it feels ridiculous to be coy about it.)

 

I am lucky enough to have a sphincter that is more than usually suited to anal sex. Believe me, it has little to do with mental relaxation in my case. I'm pretty tightly wound.

 

Good thing someone introduced me to anal sex years ago! Otherwise this talent would be going to waste.

[Juan Vancouver]

One more time: to each his own, let's don't overuse it every day. May we agree on that?

 

Sadly this is not a matter of personal preference or opinion. This is a medical fact. No, we cannot agree to disagree.

 

If you are a beginner, learning the ropes and wanting to learn to enjoy anal insertion, NEVER, EVER, EVER use any numbing agent in your ass before insertion.

 

This is specially true if you are hypertonic, which means, really, really tight. If you are that tight and don't feel anything because of the numbing agent and someone enters you, you will get injured. Sometimes, these injuries might heal in a few weeks, but sometimes you will need an incredibly painful anal surgery with many months of recovery, which will very likely create a terrible association in your mind when it comes to anal sex.

 

I'd rather use anal eze on a guy who's "Asian tight" instead of just lubricant, there's a reason that product (and possibly others) is use on Sean Cody, CF, etc. to make straight guys bottom, and is also use in straight porno for girls to be able to bottom.

 

Yes, there is a reason they do that. Money.

 

If you have a dumb guy who has never bottomed or doesn't bottom all that often and you want him to be able to take a big cock for a whole day so that you make your video, you will do anything to achieve that, including numbing his anus -even if this means that he might have serious complications from this. Who cares about a dumb "straight" jock's wrecked hole?

 

Hold on to your pearls: no, porn studios don't have their performer's wellbeing in mind when it comes to making the film happen.

 

Even further: No, porn is not an adequate place from which you can learn healthy sex practices. If anything, the opposite seems to be the truth.

 

Your life is not a porn production. You don't HAVE to get it in this time. You are in control. There is absolutely no reason to put yourself at risk of having serious injuries.

 

This is not a matter of opinion. Numbed asses WILL get hurt..

[marylander1940]

Sadly this is not a matter of personal preference or opinion. This is a medical fact. No, we cannot agree to disagree.

 

If you are a beginner, learning the ropes and wanting to learn to enjoy anal insertion, NEVER, EVER, EVER use any numbing agent in your ass before insertion.

 

This is specially true if you are hypertonic, which means, really, really tight. If you are that tight and don't feel anything because of the numbing agent and someone enters you, you will get injured. Sometimes, these injuries might heal in a few weeks, but sometimes you will need an incredibly painful anal surgery with many months of recovery, which will very likely create a terrible association in your mind when it comes to anal sex.

 

 

 

Yes, there is a reason they do that. Money.

 

If you have a dumb guy who has never bottomed or doesn't bottom all that often and you want him to be able to take a big cock for a whole day so that you make your video, you will do anything to achieve that, including numbing his anus -even if this means that he might have serious complications from this. Who cares about a dumb "straight" jock's wrecked hole?

 

Hold on to your pearls: no, porn studios don't have their performer's wellbeing in mind when it comes to making the film happen.

 

Even further: No, porn is not an adequate place from which you can learn healthy sex practices. If anything, the opposite seems to be the truth.

 

Your life is not a porn production. You don't HAVE to get it in this time. You are in control. There is absolutely no reason to put yourself at risk of having serious injuries.

 

This is not a matter of opinion. Numbed asses WILL get hurt..

 

Yes a lot of folks do a lot of things for money but my personal experience using Anal Eze (Ease) was a good experience and the only way for 2 ex-bf or mine to do what they wanted to do: bottoming and they loved it.

 

To each his own. What works for you may not work for others.