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Do You Explain To Crazy Or Just Ignore?

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Tigger Enthusiast

Tigger

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I met a guy for a hook-up. I've seen him twice. I won't bore you with all the details except to say that in the 5 days I've known him, he has been very squirrelly about responding to texts. We will be in the middle of a discussion about meeting, and he will disappear for hours. Our first get to know meeting for coffee, he came near the place, decided he wasn't dressed well enough, didn't come in, and didn't tell me he wasn't coming in and why until thirty minutes after his previous text telling me he was near. That should have been a tip off I guess.

 

In spite of that I met him the following day. Our intimate meeting was just ok for me. But we have met twice now. Each time he has told me I'm the most passionate guy he's ever met. I told him he needs to get out more. I've also told him specifically that I was not looking to get serious.

I looked him in the eyes last night and said this. He said he understood.

 

Today I wake up to a text from him saying, "I love you." (Damn I know I'm good. But even I didn't know I was this good!!)

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Tigger Enthusiast

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If it's just OK for you, why wouldn't you nip it in the bud? He sounds a little cray cray.

 

 

giphy.gif

 

Oh I'm definitely nipping the bud here. The question was more drop him cold and ignore him if he texts, or reply back and explain we want different things.

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MikeyGMin Experienced

MikeyGMin

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Oh I'm definitely nipping the bud here. The question was more drop him cold and ignore him if he texts, or reply back and explain we want different things.

 

Ahhhhhh... I misunderstood. I agree with Dom. If he knows where you live you better say something to him or he'll show up at your front door. (Which he might do anyways. ) Give him the old "we're not looking for the same thing" speech. Actually, you did pork him twice. He probably deserves the speech either way.

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Truereview Grand Master

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Ahhhhhh... I misunderstood. I agree with Dom. If he knows where you live you better say something to him or he'll show up at your front door. (Which he might do anyways. ) Give him the old "we're not looking for the same thing" speech. Actually, you did pork him twice. He probably deserves the speech either way.

I rescind my advice! Yes, gentle dismissal most necessary! Put on the alarm, make sure backlights are on, and check under your bed and the closet!

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stop Mentor

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Or...hear me out, completely turn the tables on him, go completely "my crazy ex girlfriend" on him. Call him at all hours and recite poetry for him. Go out with him and break into song and dance on the street. Tell him you love him and you wish you could crawl inside him and become one with him....make him break up with you

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Tigger Enthusiast

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WaiT just a minute, you said you met him twice, so did you guys meet at his place or yours? Bc if you guys did at yours then i think its a little better to let him down slowly and easy, last thing you want is some crazy getting angry at you and knowing where u live:(

 

 

It's all good as they say. We met at his place, I had only given him my middle name so far, and the only phone number he has is my Google Voice #.

 

Actually, you did pork him twice. He probably deserves the speech either way.

 

We met twice. I only 'made sweet passionate love' to his insides once. He hadn't bottomed for a while. The second time we met he told me he had bled a bit after I topped him and that he was still a bit sore. (NB: I wasn't really rough at all. I'm sure guys who bottom know it can happen to them in the best of circumstances. ).

 

Or...hear me out, completely turn the tables on him, go completely "my crazy ex girlfriend" on him. Call him at all hours and recite poetry for him. Go out with him and break into song and dance on the street. Tell him you love him and you wish you could crawl inside him and become one with him....make him break up with you

 

When I read this, my entire body went cold imagining that he might like all that.

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gallahadesquire Grand Master

gallahadesquire

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It's all good as they say. We met at his place, I had only given him my middle name so far, and the only phone number he has is my Google Voice #.

 

 

 

We met twice. I only 'made sweet passionate love' to his insides once. He hadn't bottomed for a while. The second time we met he told me he had bled a bit after I topped him and that he was still a bit sore. (NB: I wasn't really rough at all. I'm sure guys who bottom know it can happen to them in the best of circumstances. ).

 

 

 

When I read this, my entire body went cold imagining that he might like all that.

 

Pity. It might work. And depending on your own psyche, it might be incredibly satisfying. Like asking a cold-caller pollster HIS opinions on the subjects involved. Remember, people who do phone surveys get paid for how long they stay on any given phone call.

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Tigger Enthusiast

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Pity. It might work. And depending on your own psyche, it might be incredibly satisfying. Like asking a cold-caller pollster HIS opinions on the subjects involved. Remember, people who do phone surveys get paid for how long they stay on any given phone call.

 

I don't think I'd get much satisfaction from it either way. If he believed me and liked it, I'd just have to break his heart when I finally told him no. If like a sensible person, he said, "What the hell," he'd probably realize I was making fun of him. I'm not into being deliberately cruel. I just want to cut ties with him. He hasn't texted me since the 'I love you' post this morning. I'm wondering if he realizes anything because I haven't answered back, or if he realizes, he went too far.

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Mikegaite Collaborator

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Cutting ties with crazy is always hard, but it's for the best. You can't fix crazy on your own. Closing the crazy door gives more room for another door to open with someone who isn't crazy. Worth it regardless of how slim the odds of quickly getting over him.

 

Also, the first I love you in a relationship should not be conveyed via text message lol.

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Tigger Enthusiast

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Cutting ties with crazy is always hard, but it's for the best. You can't fix crazy on your own. Closing the crazy door gives more room for another door to open with someone who isn't crazy. Worth it regardless of how slim the odds of quickly getting over him.

 

We've only met twice. He proved to be squirrelly from the beginning. Not of course that being squirrelly is an absolute contraindication to falling in love with someone. But it sure doesn't help. The sex wasn't that great (for me) either. So as heartless as it may make me seem, I'm planning to wash that man right out of my hair.

 

Also, the first I love you in a relationship should not be conveyed via text message lol.

 

I need to remember this the next time I fall in love!!

 

PS Great new avatar, Mike!!!

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stop Mentor

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Cutting ties with crazy is always hard, but it's for the best. You can't fix crazy on your own. Closing the crazy door gives more room for another door to open with someone who isn't crazy. Worth it regardless of how slim the odds of quickly getting over him.

 

Also, the first I love you in a relationship should not be conveyed via text message lol.

 

is it ok if you do it with emojis?

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honcho Grand Master

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Cutting ties with crazy is always hard, but it's for the best. You can't fix crazy on your own.

 

I don't think I ever mentioned that I've had 4 serious (multiyear) relationships, and that the first one ended when

the fellow started exhibiting symptoms of a psychotic-break. ... Not as described by me ... the ex was a cellist

(and an engineering graduate of MIT), and had been playing chamber music on a quasi regular basis with

a pianist, who's day job was being a clinical (M.D.) psychiatrist for the city and county of SF.

 

The shrink helped me keep *my* sanity through the ordeal; the ex moved back in with his parents

(who flew to SF to help drive him and his belongings home in the midwest).

 

It's strange ... I grieved more for the ex than I did for my best (platonic) friend who the plague claimed shortly before . . .

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Nvr2Thick Grand Master

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We've only met twice. He proved to be squirrelly from the beginning. Not of course that being squirrelly is an absolute contraindication to falling in love with someone. But it sure doesn't help. The sex wasn't that great (for me) either. So as heartless as it may make me seem, I'm planning to wash that man right out of my hair.

 

I imagine that you expect this, but you're probably going to need a firm, consistent policy for dealing with him. He may move on or he may try a dozen different ways of prolonging his interaction with you. Some of the behaviors you describe are similar to what I went through ten years ago. What sent a little chill down my spine was your description of the distance vs. closeness. A guy I met and hooked up with twice was doing similar things -- breaking off conversation, changing plans to meet, disappearing; followed by expecting intimacy. When I tried to cut the cord he:

 

  • begged for another chance
  • told me he hooked up with a better guy
  • said we should be friends
  • announced he was blocking me on Manhunt and his phone
  • unblocked me and said we should be friends
  • told me that the next guy he met was much better in bed and much nicer, and that this new guy didn't want him contacting me
  • said that he was interested in getting a motorcycle and wanted to talk to me about what kind to buy
  • told a casual acquaintance that I was hung up on him and was bothering him
  • announced that that he bought a motorcycle and that we should go riding
  • sent me a letter telling me that he was in counseling, and that the letter was part of a healing process asking for forgiveness
  • called half a dozen times insisting that by refusing to meet and give him closure I was destroying all chance for him to heal
  • <should I go on?>

 

My policy was to be civil but to the point. If I were to do it again I'd probably block him and refuse all contact. I don't think it would go any better though. I think this one ended when he found someone new to obsess over. Seven years later he hit me up looking for a job reference (I had never worked with him, or even knew what he did for a living) into the company I was working for.

 

I hope your situation ends more cleanly.

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marylander1940 Grand Master

marylander1940

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I met a guy for a hook-up. I've seen him twice. I won't bore you with all the details except to say that in the 5 days I've known him, he has been very squirrelly about responding to texts. We will be in the middle of a discussion about meeting, and he will disappear for hours. Our first get to know meeting for coffee, he came near the place, decided he wasn't dressed well enough, didn't come in, and didn't tell me he wasn't coming in and why until thirty minutes after his previous text telling me he was near. That should have been a tip off I guess.

 

In spite of that I met him the following day. Our intimate meeting was just ok for me. But we have met twice now. Each time he has told me I'm the most passionate guy he's ever met. I told him he needs to get out more. I've also told him specifically that I was not looking to get serious.

I looked him in the eyes last night and said this. He said he understood.

 

Today I wake up to a text from him saying, "I love you." (Damn I know I'm good. But even I didn't know I was this good!!)

 

How old is this "crazy" person?

 

One more thing I wouldn't call him that name I would just say sometimes he's socially awkward, immature or moody.

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