“Til it happens to you", Lady Gaga opens up about her sexual assault experience.

[marylander1940]

Lady Gaga has made major strides as an advocate for victims of sexual violence, both through her nonprofit work and her musical tribute “Til It Happens To You,” which was featured in The Hunting Ground, a documentary on campus rape. Part of her motivation to contribute to the cause is personal experience: late last year, she first opened up about being raped as a teenager by a producer she was working with. At a TimesTalks panel yesterday (Dec. 10) to promote The Hunting Ground, the singer elaborated on her experience, sharing just how challenging it was to overcome.

 

 

https://www.yahoo.com/music/lady-gaga-opens-up-about-surviving-rape-it-172711165.html?soc_src=mail&soc_trk=ma

[TruthBTold]

What a powerful vid that truly expresses the thought that we can never know people without knowing everything, and I mean everything, they go through. And even then we need to know how it effects them. It is extremely important that we offer services to all persons of sexual assault (if we can make them comfortable enough to report the circumstances).

[+ quoththeraven]

My "like" is for Marylander posting this, not for what it discusses. Just wanted to be clear about that.

[tyro]

What a powerful vid that truly expresses the thought that we can never know people without knowing everything, and I mean everything, they go through. And even then we need to know how it effects them. It is extremely important that we offer services to all persons of sexual assault (if we can make them comfortable enough to report the circumstances).

Twenty percent each year. Damn.

TBT is right. We all have little locked rooms in our hearts.

T

[+ quoththeraven]

It is extremely important that we offer services to all persons of sexual assault (if we can make them comfortable enough to report the circumstances).

 

Services exist. Many, if not most, are not predicated on reporting to the authorities. For that to happen, attitudes need to change among investigators and society at large.

 

The Steubenville prosecution was a step forward because people needed to learn that sex with or penetration of an unconscious person who hadn't given consent (and the statute doesn't contemplate pre-consent because consent can always be withdrawn) is rape rather than a fun prank or way to trick someone into sex. But I doubt a conviction would have occurred twenty years ago. And the accuser in that case got raked over the coals in comments and on Twitter. This despite being completely vindicated by the verdict. Could any of you go through being publicly called a slut and a ho like she has?

 

I understand why prosecutors only want to take the winnable cases. In addition to tarnishing their record, cases that are lost or charges dropped because the witness doesn't want to continue make rape accusations look questionable when these may well be the product of a person deciding not to subject herself (or himself) to that level of hate and scrutiny. But by only taking the best cases, they're reinforcing that sense of hopelessness.

 

No other crime is treated like this. Charges are brought, plea bargains broached, and cases tried whether strong or not. This is the only crime where the accuser is as much or more on trial as the accused. It's also the one that's the most polarized in terms of gender - the vast majority of defendants are men, most accusers are women.

 

We can't get a grip on this until society's views on sex and gender are less fucked up.

[mike carey]

We can't get a grip on this until society's views on sex and gender are less fucked up.

Men need to 'man up' and tell other men that it is not ok. Typically men don't listen to women, or downplay their views. The outgoing Sex Discrimination Commissioner here made great play on coöpting 'male champions' in the sex discrimination debate, to considerable objections from feminists. She made the case, and eventually won the debate: men will listen to other men so when men like the previous Chief of [the Australian] Army speak out, other men listen and progress ensues. The rape and domestic violence debates are similar.

[+ quoththeraven]

Men need to 'man up' and tell other men that it is not ok. Typically men don't listen to women, or downplay their views. The outgoing Sex Discrimination Commissioner here made great play on coöpting 'male champions' in the sex discrimination debate, to considerable objections from feminists. She made the case, and eventually won the debate: men will listen to other men so when men like the previous Chief of [the Australian] Army speak out, other men listen and progress ensues. The rape and domestic violence debates are similar.

 

When leadership is clear about what's acceptable and what's not, it helps a great deal. Here in the U.S., we still have a big problem with rape in the military in part (though not entirely) because there are people who still have some problem with women in the military. Without something more than knee-jerk condemnation from higher ups, not much has or is likely to change.

[mike carey]

QTR, I am intensely proud of what David Morrison said in his video address to the troops. (Initial draft written by his speech writer who is a trans* woman and now in my Service, the most senior transgender officer in any Defence force.) David was roughly at my level when I was in the RAAF for much of the time, he had a better career of course!

A MUCH longer conversation with a feminist writer:

[+ quoththeraven]

QTR, I am intensely proud of what David Morrison said in his video address to the troops. (Initial draft written by his speech writer who is a trans* woman and now in my Service, the most senior transgender officer in any Defence force.) David was roughly at my level when I was in the RAAF for much of the time, he had a better career of course!

A MUCH longer conversation with a feminist writer:

 

I loved it when he said if soldiers have a problem working with women, they could go elsewhere. Also the bit about standards.

 

We don't see that kind of moral courage and leadership here. I don't know if that's due to happenstance, cultural differences, or a function of size, as the U.S. and its military is many times the size of Australia and its military. But FFS, Australia's first white colonists were criminals transported there to get them out of England, and its culture has macho elements too. (That may be understating it.) So why are they having an easier time ending gun violence through legal changes and ending rape culture in the military than we are in the U.S.?

[mike carey]

I don't think we had an easier time ending gendered violence than anyone else did, I suspect it was happenstance more than anything else. Domestic violence is still an issue here. We had some disturbing instances of sexual assault in the Defence Force Academy and some blatant episodes of men degrading women in the Defence force that became public to the extent that it was becoming difficult for the Defence Force to reassure parents that it was safe for them to allow their daughters to join the Defence Force. Something had to be done. The public image was alway worse than the reality, but the public image won.

 

We never had a gun culture that was pervasive, so ending any attraction to guns was not difficult. Port Arthur was enough to convince most Australians that we didn't need guns. We aren't more 'evolved' than the US we just work to different assumptions. An occasional amazing public figure like David Morrison can make a difference to a whole society.

[marylander1940]

Men need to 'man up' and tell other men that it is not ok. Typically men don't listen to women, or downplay their views. The outgoing Sex Discrimination Commissioner here made great play on coöpting 'male champions' in the sex discrimination debate, to considerable objections from feminists. She made the case, and eventually won the debate: men will listen to other men so when men like the previous Chief of [the Australian] Army speak out, other men listen and progress ensues. The rape and domestic violence debates are similar.

 

Also women need to stop calling a rape victim a slut just to be more popular among the guys and hopefully get one as a bf...

[marylander1940]

I'm glad Lady Gaga performed this song during the Academy awards and Biden asked to sign the pledge to stop rape from happening.

 

Would you sign the pledge?

 

http://www.latimes.com/nation/la-na-biden-oscars-20160225-story.html

[MrMiniver]

Anything to make a buck, I suppose.

[N13]

Anything to make a buck, I suppose.

 

You are probably one of the people that when you hear about a case of rape believe "she deserved it!" You seem to have no belief in the decency of people whatsoever! Shame on you!

[marylander1940]

Anything to make a buck, I suppose.

 

She (Lady Gaga) doesn't need this kind of publicity, she's doing it because she cares about this subject.

1 in 9 women raped while serving in the military ...

[wisconsinguy]

What a powerful vid that truly expresses the thought that we can never know people without knowing everything, and I mean everything, they go through. And even then we need to know how it effects them. It is extremely important that we offer services to all persons of sexual assault (if we can make them comfortable enough to report the circumstances).

TBT...You impart a lot of truth with wisdom in a few sentences. When I hear about individuals that come forward with their situations of abuse, and I mean any kind of abuse, my heart understands. The difficulty in coming forward to anyone, including law enforcement is huge. It has been discussed here before. I believe, in my own case, there were two issues that shared top billing. They are the shame and disbelief issues. I have shared my abuse issues before. They number 5 different "venues." Two of which were sexual abuse by close blood relatives. I did report the first occurrence of abuse to my mother. Her response was, "That's nobody's business but ours." I still believe that is the thought process of many individuals who are assaulted. Yes, there is help out there. But, finding a good fit with therapy professionals can be difficult in its own right. And, being a male, for me trying to find that good fit, made the process even more difficult. My point is, if you are ever fortunate to have someone share this kind

life changing experience with you, embrace it. As TBT said, getting to know someone, and getting to know them totally, can be life changing for you.