RentMen.com, "ASK ME"

[jackjackjack]

Sorry if this topic is redundant. When an escort in his RentMen.com ad under the heading.... 'Safe/bb'... says, ' ask me',

should we assume that he barebacks or only barebacks sometimes (not sure the difference)? I like bb. If an escort's ad says, 'Safe sex' that's fine. But "ask me"?

[seaboy4hire]

Prob what it means ask him. They may have boundaries so they may want to chat about it first.

 

Hugs,

Greg

[jackjackjack]

Prob what it means ask him. They may have boundaries so they may want to chat about it first.

 

Hugs,

Greg

But what boundaries, Seaboy?. They do bb or don't. If the client says they are undetecable, then sometimes the escort does and sonetimes he doesn't? Why? And if the client says he's neg, does the escort trust what he says.

[seaboy4hire]

But what boundaries, Seaboy?. They do bb or don't. If the client says they are undetecable, then sometimes the escort does and sonetimes he doesn't? Why? And if the client says he's neg, does the escort trust what he says.

 

You'll have to chat up the guy who has "ask me" listed.

 

Hugs,

Greg

[AdamSmith]

Possibly he is willing to bb as the top, but not as the bottom. As seaboy says, just ask.

[rvwnsd]

Sorry if this topic is redundant. When an escort in his RentMen.com ad under the heading.... 'Safe/bb'... says, ' ask me',

should we assume that he barebacks or only barebacks sometimes (not sure the difference)? I like bb. If an escort's ad says, 'Safe sex' that's fine. But "ask me"?

Add me to the chorus that says "ask me" means "he wants you to ask him about his policy on safer sex."

[jackjackjack]

Add me to the chorus that says "ask me" means "he wants you to ask him about his policy on safer sex."

I understand. But what policies? He does or he doesn't.. yes? Do some just bb sometimes? If they do sometimes, what's the criteria?

[AdamSmith]

I understand. But what policies? He does or he doesn't.. yes? Do some just bb sometimes? If they do sometimes, what's the criteria?

The answer is: there is no one universal answer! There are enough different possible reasons that it can vary from person to person, and for a single person from one circumstance to another. You will have to ask the specific individual to find out his specific reasons.

[BaronArtz]

Some escorts will bareback, but for a higher fee. They just don't want to state it in their ad. Hence 'ask me'. If you are going to do it, it makes sense to charge more. I have also heard that some clients offer to pay more for a bareback session, sometimes 2x the published rate, even if the escort ad states 'safe only'. Sometimes they find a guy who really needs to make money who will consent to this. I find that a bit creepy or, at the very least, in poor taste.

[MikeyGMin]

Sometimes they find a guy who really needs to make money who will consent to this. I find that a bit creepy or, at the very least, in poor taste.

 

I couldn't agree with you more. I am very grateful that I have the disposable income to be a client and there are hot guys willing and able to escort. But I think it's disgraceful for either party to take advantage of the situation.

 

Just as no client wants to get scammed or ripped off by an escort, I'm sure that no escort wants their stated boundaries pushed. Especially when it comes to bare backing. (As opposed to kissing or some minor boundary.) It's really predatory to take advantage of an escort's desperation to coerce them into it.

 

I'm just talking about the guys who say "safe only." If they say "ask me" I also think that means it is open for negotiation.

[rvwnsd]

I understand. But what policies? He does or he doesn't.. yes? Do some just bb sometimes? If they do sometimes, what's the criteria?

 

None of us can answer those questions for you. You need to decide what safer sex means to you. Each one of us is responsible for our own sexual safety, just as we are responsible for our own safety when driving, walking down the street, or grilling a steak. The best two places to get information about the risks associated with various sexual practices is from a gay-friendly medical professional and from a gay-friendly safe sex educator. If these types of resources are not available in your community, here are some online resources for you to try:

 

Gay Men's Health Crisis: http://www.gmhc.org/

 

Howard Brown Clinic resources page: http://www.howardbrown.org/hb_resources.asp

 

Human Rights Campaign http://hrc.org/explore/topic/hiv-aids

 

You can also obtain a listing of local resources from your local LGBT center.

 

 

Now let me give you a couple of lines that you can use when faced with this dilemma:

 

"When I read your ad I noticed you answered 'ask me' to the 'Safe/bb' question. Can you explain your safe sex practices to me?"

 

When he answers, you can decide whether his safe sex practices correspond to/compliment yours or you are in different places. Based on that decision, you can further decide whether you want to hire him.

 

All that being said, before you start looking at ads, YOU need to decide what is acceptable to YOU. Do YOU want to have sex with a guy who decides whether or not to wear a condom on a case by case basis? Do YOU want to believe that a guy who says he ALWAYS wears a condom actually ALWAYS wears a condom? Do YOU want to fuck a guy while not wearing a condom? Do YOU want a guy to fuck you while he is not wearing a condom? Do YOU think sucking a guy's dick without him wearing a condom is a risk you wish to take? Do YOU think a guy sucking your dick while you aren't wearing a condom is a risk you wish to take?

 

You will notice I repeatedly capitalized the word "you." That's because you need to make these decisions based on information and not on the opinions of others.

[Mikegaite]

Ask me means ask me. Safe only means safe only or sometimes safe depending on circumstances. I know top-rated escorts who, when asked if they bb, will at least think if not say something to the effect of, "yes and no, depending on whatever the right answer is to your question."

 

Now as far what "anything goes" means, for me it entails a fabulous musical.

[LADoug1]

I'm only interested in "safe only". "Ask me" implies the possibility of unsafe sex. It's a dealbreaker.

[Nvr2Thick]

[seaboy4hire]

 

Morrissey was one of my crushes when I was a teenage boy Prob still would be if he wasn't such a twat lol Oh hell who am I kidding? I'd still do him.

 

Hugs,

Greg

[loverboy95]

The answer varies with each escort. They probably do bareback at times depending on the situation. I only stick to escorts who are "Safe Only".

[tanman4u]

I've always thought that maybe "ask me" could mean no protection for oral but safe for anal. I know I wouldn't hire if I thought I'd be sucking on a condom.

[Antinous]

Since "safe only" is really the only circumstance which demonstrates that an escort is willing to assert that they won't bareback, "ask me" means that they will; the terms and conditions just need to be defined.

 

Which is why I personally only deal with those who say "safe only." And then I also assume that they are lying, and act accordingly.

[+ DickyF]

Love this cute little song! One of the easiest for karaoke as well.

[MiamiLooker]

The answer varies with each escort. They probably do bareback at times depending on the situation. I only stick to escorts who are "Safe Only".

Do you really think just because an ad displays "Safe Only", the escort never barebacks?

[rvwnsd]

Since "safe only" is really the only circumstance which demonstrates that an escort is willing to assert that they won't bareback, "ask me" means that they will; the terms and conditions just need to be defined.

 

Which is why I personally only deal with those who say "safe only." And then I also assume that they are lying, and act accordingly.

I don't think that is true. There are escorts who want to have a safer sex conversation with their clients and state "ask me" in their ads.

[Antinous]

So what you're really saying is it doesn't matter to you if their ad says safe only or not. This is what I always fail to understand about these threads. If you don't intend to have whatever your definition of unsafe sex is, what does it matter what your sexual partners do on their own time? Seriously, please explain it to me.

 

The simple fact is that, the choices my sexual partners make in their personal lives can have a very real impact on my own life. "Safe Sex" isn't 100%. Nothing is. So when it comes to a determination of reducing my personal risk factors, I prefer to engage in intimate contact with those who also display a desire to reduce their personal risk factors. Someone who is willing to fuck bareback (regardless of whether they are on prEP or not) indicates, to me, a willingness to place themselves - and by extension, me - at risk. And I am not willing to accept that additional risk.

[rvwnsd]

The simple fact is that, the choices my sexual partners make in their personal lives can have a very real impact on my own life. "Safe Sex" isn't 100%. Nothing is. So when it comes to a determination of reducing my personal risk factors, I prefer to engage in intimate contact with those who also display a desire to reduce their personal risk factors. Someone who is willing to fuck bareback (regardless of whether they are on prEP or not) indicates, to me, a willingness to place themselves - and by extension, me - at risk. And I am not willing to accept that additional risk.

 

I don't think anyone is questioning your policy about practicing safer sex or even your policy about having sex with others who only practice safer sex. What is being questioned is why you think "ask me" equates to "doesn't practice safer sex." I would venture to guess that many guys consider PrEP usage to be a safer sex practice and choose "safe only" when, in fact, they bareback from time to time. Based on their definition, they are practicing safer sex. You would never know that they are open to having anal sex without a condom (because they said they are "safe only" and you didn't ask them) and have sex with them using a condom. Your risk will not be reduced because you did not ask them about their safer sex practices.

 

Regardless what anyone, escort or not, states as a safety preference, the best way to learn whether someone always uses a condom is to ask them.

[marylander1940]

Remember that escorts who BB not only do it with you but a lot of other guys.

 

Sorry if this topic is redundant. When an escort in his RentMen.com ad under the heading.... 'Safe/bb'... says, ' ask me',

should we assume that he barebacks or only barebacks sometimes (not sure the difference)? I like bb. If an escort's ad says, 'Safe sex' that's fine. But "ask me"?