Local Broadcast Talent

[phage]

I know this is in poor taste, but…

 

This afternoon an elderly man jumped (allegedly) out of a small private plane in the sky above El Cajon. Obviously, he was killed and that’s a tragedy, however, the news coverage is bordering on comical.

 

For some reason everyone is hesitant to say he jumped from the plane. The newscasters keep saying he “stepped out of the plane” and the local police representative described it as “apparently (apparently?) the gentlemen ‘left’ the aircraft.” I suppose he could have calmly ‘stepped’ from the aircraft, but I’m having trouble picturing it. Maybe they’re just hedging incase it turns out the pilot threw him from the plane.

 

So far the all time dumbest comment has come from the on-scene reporter. She reported that the man hit a power line on the way down, was cut in half, struck an apartment building and ALSO died. No shit? He ALSO died?

 

Okay, I’m sure it’s gruesome and she’s rattled, but where do they get these people? Anyone else have a local newscasting brain trust?

[VaHawk]

DAMN! This was one FUNNY post! LMAO!! :7

[eastbayguy]

>Okay, I’m sure it’s gruesome and she’s rattled, but where do

>they get these people? Anyone else have a local newscasting

>brain trust?

 

My braindead, halfwit, dorky and stupid neighbor is a news chick on one of the local stations here. She keeps telling us that her opinions matter because she's on TV. Being on TV must be a great source of pompousness and self-importance. For example, she demanded that the HOA ban coyotes from the area after one snuck in her back yard and ate her cat. Were another coyote to sneak in and eat another cat, her suggestion was that we fine the owner. Where do we send the invoices for future fines? Warner Brothers, attention Wile E. Coyote?

 

No, I am not making this up.

 

I have more stories of my encounters with this creature (the news chick, not the coyotes) which I'd be happy to post.

 

--EBG

[VaHawk]

STOP, DAMN IT! You trying to make me literally die laughing? Meow? :7

[Guest ncm2169]

< I know this is in poor taste, but…

 

OMFG!! }( :*

 

< holds his stomach while doubled over... >

[Guest ncm2169]

< I have more stories of my encounters with this creature (the news chick, not the coyotes) which I'd be happy to post. >

 

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS. Dude, GO FOR IT!! :+ :+

[JamesK840]

RE: Local Broadcast 'Talent'

 

I'm guessing we could create a whole new forum for reports of local news reporter's stupidity, it seems inexhaustible.

 

I say go for it! Post away! :7

 

Have they started the "Will you survive, will your family survive the menace of general aviation: death from above (literally!)? Story at 11" promos yet??

[bostonman]

My favorite -

 

Last November I was part of a day-long local arts event - I was part of a performance that started the day - after a number of lip-service speechifiers, of course. The speeches were MC'd by a local TV reporter, who herself made an impassioned speech about how her local station was the only one that provides comprehensive arts coverage...(yeah right)...then she introduced our performance, and mentioned the name of our (as she put it) CHOR-eographer.

 

(That's choreOGrapher, you stupid bitch!! )

[Guest 10cc]

My local news is just as funny but lately CNN has had their share of stupidity as well.

 

I'm addicted to HSN and QVC and love listening to the hosts make somethng as simple as a toster sound so exciting. "Look all you have to do is push down and your bread will toast, it's that easy!" A caller about the toaster,

 

host: "hello who are you?"

caller: my name is mary from Flroida

host: mary do you own this toaster?

caller: yes it saved my life I wa ...

host: it saved mary's life did you hear that?

caller: yes i had a few people over and we didn't know what to eat and i realized i had my new toaster and we made toast

host: it makes great toast doesn't it mary

caller: yes it does it ...

host: so tell us mary how do you use your new toaster

caller well i make toast , toast all kinds of bread

host well i have to let you go, thanks so much for calling in this evening mary

caller: i just love your show

host why thank you, good bye

 

"now you heard what mary just said this toaster saved her life! our quanities are getting limited and i don't want you to miss out, what i want you to do is go to your phonenow and call to reserve this special toaster. this is the same toaster that saved mary's live!"

 

I couldn't even make this up guys. No need for drugs, if you want to giggle your life away just watch hsn or qvc ... funnier than Leno

[Guest skrubber]

Sound like a fine toaster to me.

 

Everybody loves Backa Baa.

[Guest ncm2169]

The Verbing of America. x(

 

A couple years ago, Gwen Ifill, now host of Washington Week in Review (on PBS) reported on the death of some dignitary during the past week. Her report ended with the words, "He was funeralized yesterday."

 

AAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!!! x( x( x( x( x(

[bluenix]

A couple of years ago a man jumped from the top of the Chicago Tribune Tower. Although he was not cut in half on the way down, he produced quite a spectacle in the plaza below. The Trib did report the event in its back pages, however the verb they used was 'fell.'

 

The man fell to his death. No kidding.