RANT TO THE PRODUCERS OF PORN

[Tonyko]

ENOUGH WITH THE CLOSE-UPS! Half the time we forget WTF the guys even look like! Half the vid is close-ups from the side behind underneath overhead etc etc etc. ENOUGH! AND when it's a hot str8 guy getting blown, DON'T give us 90% of just the older fatter (always in a black shirt for some reason) guy's face and the anonymous dick! OR one guy who gets bukkake'd by a hot group of guys you NEVER see except for dicks. Or END a hot scene with close ups of cum wherever it landed when it's been forever since we've even seen a face. ENOUGH WITH THE CLOSE-UPS.

ENOUGH WITH THE SCENERY. WE DOOOOOON'T CARE. We don't care about the deserts of Palm Springs or the sands of Palm beach or South beach or if you went to the South of FRANCE. THIS is what we do. (FWD FWD FWD FWD ooh hot naked guys PLAY) It's PORN. You could shoot in a janitors closet in a tenement on 11th ave, if the guys are hot we'll watch.

ENOUGH WITH THE ARTISTIC CRAP. Yes you're directing XXX and you want to be directing on FX, we get that. But we want to see hot naked guys! Clearly! We DON'T want to see them reflected in a steamy mirror shot thru a foggy shower door seen thru a window pane with rain beating down shot with greenish night vision or under water or under blankets of rose petals (we're not women) or in sepia or Slo-Mo or from the POV of their cat watching etc etc etc etc. You wannna do that go to NYU Film School. For us, just show us the guys!

ENOUGH WITH THE ACTING. DON"T make these poor boys do dialogue! It's embarrassing. If they could act they'd be working with Sean Penn not Sean Cody. (yes "some" are good and have transitioned to legit work, BUT they are VERY VERY RARE) We beg you, if you insist on setting up a scenario keep it brief! "hi I just moved can I borrow a screwdriver" is all you need.

ENOUGH WITH THE BAD INTERVIEW LIES. "IF" you insist on showing us a 20min interview with a fully clothed "straight" boy who has NEEEEEVER been with a guy and who hopes his girlfriend doesn't find out:

A) Try not to use a guy who sounds like the stylist guy on Say Yes To The Dress. (who I actually thought was a butchly dressed woman)

B) Try not to use a guy we've already seen on 20 other sites with two dicks up his ass at once.

C) Try and write down his name for the poor boy since they always seem to pause and have to think about what their name is.

ENOUGH with the FLESHLIGHTS. IDK who TF invented those things but a hot's guys hot dick completely HIDDEN inside one is NOT a good idea!

ALL THAT BEING SAID: THANK YOU AND BLESS YOU FOR MAKING PORN :-)

[Tonyko]

On that note, stay tuned to NAKED SWORD for BIGGEST CATCH coming out July 22. We act, we fuck, we probably have no acting skills and sound like rupaul BUT a lot of hard work, creativity and dedication goes into making these movies. 6-12 hour shoot days over the course of a week and half for a production like this. It's porn, we aren't Robert Duvalls here so even if you don't like it, just try to appreciate the hard work that goes into it.

HENCE my last line :-)

[mike carey]

Plently of people respect the effort that's gone into the film and the results thereof. If you don't like it, move on. If you like the guys who are being filmed, celebrate them for who they are, and give them a leave pass if you don't care for their on-camera roles. Killian can do what he likes on screen, but his reputation in the real world should stand. And his hard work on screen be appreciated.

[bigvalboy]

I mostly appreciate the 'slow-motion' feature on my remote..

[Tonyko]

Plently of people respect the effort that's gone into the film and the results thereof. If you don't like it, move on. If you like the guys who are being filmed, celebrate them for who they are, and give them a leave pass if you don't care for their on-camera roles. Killian can do what he likes on screen, but his reputation in the real world should stand. And his hard work on screen be appreciated.

Oh for Christ sakes it's PORN not Merchant Ivory lol. And AGAIN, believe my last line COVERS all

[+ FreshFluff]

"hi I just moved can I borrow a screwdriver"

 

ENOUGH WITH THE BAD INTERVIEW LIES. "IF" you insist on showing us a 20min interview with a fully clothed "straight" boy who has NEEEEEVER been with a guy and who hopes his girlfriend doesn't find out:

A) Try not to use a guy who sounds like the stylist guy on Say Yes To The Dress. (who I actually thought was a butchly dressed woman)

 

A butch woman would not have eyebrows like that.

http://video.foxnews.com/thumbnails/061011/640/360/randy-fenoli.jpg

[Guest Starbuck]

...try to appreciate the hard work that goes into it.

 

Because if it isn't hard, it doesn't work.

[Battle]

On that note, stay tuned to NAKED SWORD for BIGGEST CATCH coming out July 22. We act, we fuck, we probably have no acting skills and sound like rupaul BUT a lot of hard work, creativity and dedication goes into making these movies. 6-12 hour shoot days over the course of a week and half for a production like this. It's porn, we aren't Robert Duvalls here so even if you don't like it, just try to appreciate the hard work that goes into it.

...And there's that spectacular James ass

[thickornotatall]

TIM (Treasure Island Media) they know how to catch the action....Tim Kruger....NYSM.....(New York Str8 Men)

what bothers me is the talk talk talk from behind the camera....Devin Moss has the queeny voice bitching orders to some good looking guys and kills the scene...

[+ quoththeraven]

I don't agree on every point, but I totally get what you're saying about close-ups. In addition to the points you make, such tight closeups all the time get boring after awhile.

 

We must watch different companies' porn, though, because what I've seen isn't especially artistic or scenario-laden (single scene-type stuff even with a scenario). I've wanted to see the longer videos with more of a plot or arc to them but am too cheap to pay for them.

[Tonyko]

I don't agree on every point, but I totally get what you're saying about close-ups. In addition to the points you make, such tight closeups all the time get boring after awhile.

 

We must watch different companies' porn, though, because what I've seen isn't especially artistic or scenario-laden (single scene-type stuff even with a scenario). I've wanted to see the longer videos with more of a plot or arc to them but am too cheap to pay for them.

Are you SURE you want to see more PLOT LOL???? In fairness when I was really young I did enjoy porno flics w a real plot, like those old Jack Wrangler movies. When I was a teen you could still buy porn for 1$ out of boxes in front of theaters on 42nd st, no covers sometimes even no labels on the vids you just stuck your hand in and took your chances. (HE btw COULD act had no idea who he was at the time but could tell he was outside the box in porn) BUT think I enjoyed 'em because there WAS no gay themed media outside of porn. I was lucky in that I could blend in w older guys at night and see Off and OFF OFF Bway gay themed shows (one even WITH Mr. Wrangler THAT was a thrill, AND a shock cause I thought he was 6ft tall lol) But there was no LOGO (or Ru Paul network as I call it) IDK, maybe it's age too, older I get less patient I get, with EVERYTHING. Now when I watch I just think GET TO THE GOOD SHIT!

[gallahadesquire]

I like missionary positions. You can see both bodies AND most of the action.