Strip Club Vs. Hiring (Esp. NYC)

[RPCny]

As my recent post to The Gaiety closure post attests, I really miss those bygone days of porn theater strippers -- especially where you got a lot of bang for your buck (pun intended). While I just recently started hiring esorts in earnest (a couple of hires in my early twenties notwithstanding), I've yet to check out the 21st century edition of bar strippers. Thanks (as always) to you fine gentlemen I'm getting the lay of the land.

 

I happened to find myself at The Nowhere Bar, a place I enjoy hanging out for a drink because it's one of the few gay bars in the city that feels genuinely welcoming to everyone. As it was only my third time there, I didn't realize I'd stumbled onto "Macho Monday" and before I knew it I was surrounded by a bevy of fine-looking Latino gentlemen. Though there was a DJ, there was no dancing going on, just mingling and hustling to get you to go to what, I later found out, was a "private area" that was curtained off. The area was dark and, at any given time could be shared by a couple of other dancers (and their prey, er, customers). All bets were off as to what transpired there.

 

I'd met a couple of folks and with whom I was chatting and one of whom, just learning my type, called a guy over to tempt my drunken ass. The next thing I knew I was in the "private area" basically having the kind of groping sex you'd have with someone in the back seat of your car. There was lots of rubbing, grinding and licking. He paid special attention to my very sensitive nips and since his briefs came off almost immediately, I had all the access to his ass that I wanted. I'm sure I could have fucked him if I'd wanted. It was crazy. We were probably back there for over ten minutes. It was hard to keep track, given that I was drunk (though not excessively so) and the sexual frenzy was intense. At the point at which I came to my senses and realized that I'd better call an end to these proceedings, he informed me that we'd been in there for eight songs and that I owed him $160.

 

Now, the sticker shock was all on me because, drunk or not, I certainly knew better than to go back there without discussing terms up front. I got caught up in the moment and, literally, paid the price. Of course, to make matters worse the gentleman had a thick Spanish accent and at first I thought he said $60. We went a few rounds on the price and how he configured it. How he counted eight songs, especially given how busy he was, well, let's just say that, as has been discussed here, stretches credulity. From what's been described, though, it sounds like I may have received "champagne room" activities at champagne room prices -- even though he used the lap dance formula (per song).

 

In any event, I certainly had a hot, however frenzied, experience. But it got me thinking about the overall experience of strip clubs vs. hiring an escort. If one is just going to ogle the eye candy and have a few drinks, especially if going with a few buddies, that's one thing. But if the objective is to get some kind of action, be it some lap dances or something in the champagne room, I can't help but wonder (a la Miss Carrie Bradshaw) whether hiring someone wouldn't be the more direct, satisfying and, in some ways, cheaper route. As much as I enjoyed my sleazy little fling, I kept thinking that for less than $100 more I could have hired someone and, literally, gotten way more bang for my buck. For those of you more experienced in these areas I'd be very interested in hearing your thoughts.

 

In a somewhat related query, I'd also like to know what percentage of the dancers are also available for hire and what is the likelihood of being able to take them home that evening. (Though setting up something for another time is cool, as well.) It's the closest thing we have to a hustler bar since the demise of Stella's and Rounds -- though I read in one thread that the venerable Townhouse is still operating as one -- and it would be a big plus if one could drop by, peruse the gentlemen and find a "date" for later that evening. Thanks, in advance, for any and all assistance.

[corndog]

It sounds like your experience was something that I think we've all be through during our first visits to stripper bars that use this format. My experience is mostly in Montreal, but it sounds like the format was very similar. Over time, I've learned that every single time I go to the back with a dancer, I tell them "you must tell me the song count after every single song, ok?" This has always worked for me; it puts me in control of my expenditure, and it send the message to the dancer that "this isn't my first time at the rodeo."

 

I'm looking forward to reading other poster's opinions of hiring strippers vs. escorts. For me, going to a strip club is like a tapas bar... it allows me to sample a taste of a wide variety of different dishes, but in the end, I may leave hungry. There are other occasions where I want a "full meal," but I don't necessarily consider one better than the other, just different. An orgasm is not always my goal. At a stripper bar, I rarely stay in the back for more than two or three songs with the same dancer. After that, I'll take a break, have a drink, and try someone else.

[tsgarp]

Love 'em both. Strip clubs ultimately cost me a lot more money when all is said and done, but they also provide the variety (and minimal commitment) that I often want.

[joselowe]

I prefer strip clubs. I like the see my produce in person before I buy it strip clubs and online hiring is like the difference between online clothes shopping and shopping and trying clothes on in person

[AdamSmith]

Exactly! Like buying fresh produce over the Internet vs. at the market.

[samandtham]

It's a mixed bag for me. If I have money to spend, I usually go the escort route, as I can plan my hires accordingly (i.e. read reviews, be clear on what I want to get out of a date, etc.). If I don't have money but I want to look at some good-looking fellas, I head to a strip club. I'm very good at keeping my hands on my wallet so to speak, so even if I end up taking someone at the back, it's usually only for a song or two.

 

If I find myself attracted to a stripper, I'd ask early on--maybe after the abovementioned number of dances--if we can hang out outside of the club. To me, there's no point spending a lot of money on a guy that will give me blue balls.

[doitb4ugo]

Thanks, guys. this discussion was very helpful. I have never been to a strip club and maybe this discussion prepares me a little better for that experience.

[+ DickyF]

I love strip clubs too but agree the cost can get out of hand!

Best advice: don't drink too much! Whenever I have I end up spending a fortune on groping.

The only strip club I know of where this is not a danger is Secrets in DC- because they don't have lap-dances. So the only danger is excessive tipping which is trivial.

But seeing and interacting with a lot of guys in person is a major turn-on. Plus there is no extensive arranging required.

[OneFinger]

I've had some wonderful experiences hiring guys from the strip club. But, that was a few years ago.

 

Since I'm much older now, I don't feel as comfortable at the strip clubs. I feel more like a dirty old man. So, when visiting a city, I usually hire well-reviewed / known escorts. I still go to the strip clubs to enjoy the view. But, I typically don't go there for "take out".

[geoffk]

I've had some wonderful experiences hiring guys from the strip club. But, that was a few years ago.

 

Since I'm much older now, I don't feel as comfortable at the strip clubs. I feel more like a dirty old man.

 

LOL - i think they like dirty old men! that's why i go!

[hanginginne]

I'd be curious if anyone knows of any strippers who goes back to the hotel with you? Inbox me. I like some of the guys at Adonis.

[samandtham]

I'd be curious if anyone knows of any strippers who goes back to the hotel with you? Inbox me. I like some of the guys at Adonis.

 

My advice is to indulge them in a lap dance or two. If you enjoyed it, go ask if you can hang out with them outside of the club.

[Nebost]

Lately I have had a real good run with escorts, I hired 3 escorts in a short period and they were all fantastic. One gets to do so much more with a escort in a private setting than at a strip club. It does require some forethought, planning and commitment, but I find a good escort to the more intimate and satisfying experience.

 

I still do the strip clubs and the private lap dances, esp. since some of my good friends associate there. I agree with what has been said upthread...if you decide on a lapdance, tell the dancer beforehand exactly how many dances you intend to have with him. In Montreal especially, the songs are short and tend to run together, and if you lose count, the dancer may count very loosely in his own favor. This is less of an issue at SR's in Atlanta, or my hometown of Dallas...longer songs, easier to distinguish, the dancers aren't quite as opportunistic. Still, doesn't hurt to preset expectations.

[kyleham]

I went to 2 different gay strip clubs in NYC this week that I will not name as I do not want to offend the clubs. Hiring a stripper vs. an escort I definitely go the escort way. I find it disturbing that many of the gay strip clubs are run by straight men and employ mostly straight dancers. We all know strippers do it for the money. I feel they prey on gay men who want the fantasy of touching a hot guy. If you touch them in the wrong place they freak out. Most hustle you by overcharging you on the songs/dances. This happened to me when I said 1 dance and the dancer insisted it was 2 (I purposely danced at a beginning of a song and knew when it ended). Especially the more muscled dancers do this so it allows them to spend their days in the gym, hoping to win a body building contest or pursue a modeling career. (We all know male models make very little). Thus, they hustle gay men for money. I did hire a stripper once and we got home he couldn't get hard, (even while looking at straight porn), was looking at the clock and was only in it for the money. This is a one of the more popular strippers whom I sure you all know. Big disappointment! I ran into him this weekend as I still think he's hot. I was watching him work the crowd. Always approached older men, (they have the $$$ vs. some of the hotter younger guys who wouldn't look twice at him) flirted and teased them and was busy all night. Another customer who he danced with told me how he hustled him and was disgusted by this. You might be charmed by these strippers but it's all entertainment and can very expensive which would be the same as hiring an escort so leave it at that. Thus, I would take an escort any day, at least most of them post they are gay. It can be the luck of the draw, there are many great escorts out there who enjoy having sex with a man and can pleasure you and will be more enjoyable. My opinion I would rather be with a gay escort than a straight stripper!

[Diverdan]

Slightly off the subject, but since the Townhouse was mentioned, I will share that I have had some wonderful evenings there and also had more private company for an evening or another night that was arranged there. In some cases money was exchanged, and in other cases no money was exchanged, other than I bought a couple of drinks and in one case dinner, and in one case we went to the Opera before heading to my hotel room to spend the rest of the night. There are no guarantees, but if you enjoy the piano bar setting and are patient, you are likely to enjoy your evening, regardless of age, at least that has been my experience there.

[RPCny]

As the OP, I appreciate all the responses here. I especially appreciate kyleham's, as he speaks to one my personal concerns: that a strip club would be a slippery slope for me and leave me with an empty wallet and not much satisfaction. He also confirmed that, as tempting as it might be, hiring strippers as escorts is probably a fool's errand -- unless, perhaps, for muscle worship. Let's face it, we know that both stripping and escorting, whether the guys are gay, bi or straight, is transactional. What you call it isn't gonna change that. However, aggresive, predatory or indifferent behavior is not only a reminder of that fact, but serves to underscore it. The trick to the dance, if you will, especially with strippers, is to create enough of a fantasy/experience that it doesn't feel so blatantly transactional that you walk away, as I did in my first experience, feeling exploited. It's the reason why I, a natural constituent of strip clubs, have yet to take the plunge again.

 

As to Diverdan's post, I'm curious to hear more about your experiences. I used to frequent the Townhouse in my youth for its piano bar and I would occasionally connect for a hook up. I did note that there were some escorts that hung out there in the days after Rounds closed. Did you just find some nice guys there or were these working boys who you just happened to connect with on their off hours?