Have you ever been approached by a Cougar?

[armadillo]

""The short answer: A cougar is an older woman who is primarily attracted to and has sex with with significantly younger men.""

 

http://womensissues.about.com/od/startingover/f/FAQCougar.htm

 

Certainly there are those of the female extraction(?) out there looking for you...

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Cougar_25.jpg

[gallahadesquire]

I'll ask the relevant, and hopefully non-insulting questions to our lady friends Tyro, FreshFluff, and our third, whose name escapes me.

 

How do you approach the male escort?

[+ quoththeraven]

Gallahadesquire -- We could only contribute to the thread as written if we fit the definition of cougar and accepted it on its terms. I don't fit the definition, as I don't pursue very young men, exclusively or otherwise, and to the best of my knowledge neither do tyro or FF. In fact, as I've mentioned here a couple of times, I would feel creepy hiring younger escorts or dating men in their twenties because they're too close to my daughter's age. But one can only hire from the pool of bisexual (or at least not exclusively gay) escorts that exists, and as far as I know, that group largely tops out at mid-forties in terms of age.

 

More fundamentally, I reject the slanted, incoherent, and internally inconsistent definition used here.

 

The most commonly-accepted definition of a cougar [predatory animal] is a woman 40 years of age or older [we know what that means; washed up, starting to get crow's feet, and most important, while not menopausal, also not easily able to have children -- in other words, she's only in it for the sex! Quelle horreur!] who exclusively pursues very young men.[in what world are men in their thirties considered "very young"? To me, "very young" equates to "teenage" or at most college-aged (i.e., up to twenty-one or twenty-two).] The onset of the cougar years is hotly debated. Some feel that a cougar can be as young as 35, but women of this age would not be viewed as cougars unless their sexual conquests were no older than 25; the ten-year age difference seems to be an unspoken but accepted minimum between partners.[A ten-year age difference between anyone over forty and a younger partner is no big thing. Sheesh. Once the younger partner is over thirty, the effect of an age gap lessens and what constitutes a significant age gap depends on similarity of interests, their social circles, and life experiences. In some cases, a ten-year age gap is no big deal when the younger partner is twentysomething.]

 

Typically, cougars prey upon men almost young enough to be their sons. Thus fortysomething cougars would be attracted to men in their 20s [good golly, if physical or sexual attraction to men in their 20s equals predation, just about everyone on this forum is a predator. Not everyone acts on attraction anyway. Yes, I'm being nitpicky, but words mean something and someone who's trying to define something should use them more precisely], and fiftysomething cougars would pursue men in their 30s and so on. [internal inconsistency! Is the requisite age gap ten years or twenty? Is there a distinction between the two? None of this is addressed here.] Some cougars are less interested in a relationship than a sexual conquest, perhaps enjoying the fact that they are physically appealing to men who are considered to be in the prime of their virility. [because women who are over the hill like that can't possibly attract men on their own merits. And why is the idea of women over a certain age or women in general sometimes (or always) being more interested in sex than a relationship so terrifying? It's considered normal for men; in fact, the idea that a woman might be more interested in sex and less interested in a relationship than the man she's seeing is considered so odd as to be atypical or just plain wrong.]

 

A cougar may be married or unmarried, and some even go after their daughters' boyfriends. [This is a problem as much because of the potential intrafamily conflict as the age gap. But what about fathers and sons who pursue the same women? They receive a completely different reception. Think Harrison Ford and Sean Connery's characters in the Indiana Jones movies. Also, the most common female sexual predator vis-a-vis men (other than someone who cozies up to men to steal their money and sometimes kills them as well) is a schoolteacher who seduces underage student(s). There are still many who think the chosen student is lucky rather than a crime victim. Sometimes the students involved think that, too.]

 

Although the term 'cougar' comes from the big-game predatory cat of the same name, the cougar connection also may allude to the wearing of animal print clothing by older and more sexually aggressive women. [Women getting judged for their clothing choices. Same old, same old.]

An early example of the cougar phenomenon was seen in the groundbreaking film The Graduate, in which middle-aged Mrs. Robinson (Ann Bancroft) seduces fresh-out-of-college Benjamin Braddock (Dustin Hoffman).

Real-life cougar relationships include Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher (15 years), Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins (12 years), and Barbara Hershey and Naveen Andrews (21 years). [Judgmental much, plus no context.]

This definition stereotypes and paints all relationships between women who are over thirty and men who are ten years younger or more as predatory. Not true. And given how society feels about and largely approves of such relationships between older men and younger women, what is the big fucking deal here other than the obvious sexism and gender stereotypes?

[+ Funguy]

I guess we have the male equivalent, don't we?

Not all of us "older" guys are after the 20 somethings! but some "older" guys do go for the twinks and younger, 20-somethings obviously. Does that make them "panthers"?

[Michael Wayne]

In my new Orleans years a certain percentage of my clientele were , "cougars." One was one of my BEST clients. never forget that one.......hope she is lurking down there and reading this