The physical experience before versus after removal of the prostate gland?

[+ HeyDude]

Can anyone share their experience as a bottom before versus after removal of their prostate gland?

How different is the physical experience?

PM me if you would prefer to discuss this privately.

[+ HeyDude]

123 views and NO replies. Come on guys, if this cannot be discussed here.... then where can one go for an informed reply?

Please PM me if necessary.

Thanks so much

[Steven_Draker]

Probably you can start here:

 

http://www.ehow.com/way_5606707_effects-prostate-removal.html

 

http://www.sexinfo101.com/sex_after_prostate_surgery.shtml

[+ HeyDude]

Thanks Steven,

The links were very informative and quite accurate. However, they do not address my very specific question, which can only be answered by one who has experienced bottoming before and after removal of the prostate gland.

Again, anyone may PM me to share their experience

Thanks very much...

[armadillo]

Aeroguy, I am with you on this one. I thought more would share, since we are all subject to prostate problems as we age.

I can't give any specific, but I encourage you to seek a gay men's support group in NYC. Surely there there must be one!

A few years back I had a prostate problem (solved), and found group 'therapy' at the time quite helpful.

 

http://malecare.org/

[TopGuy4940]

Sharing my experience

 

Your post prompted me to want to create a new thread on experience with prostate cancer survivors but can't find how to do that after going through the FAQ's so if someone can show me how or create the thread I can focus on that. Although not a bottom, since no one seems to want to respond to a very sensitive subject. I would like to share my experience. I'm 66 years old and a health gay male who has a partner. About two years ago my psa test started to climb and I did some reading that argued against the value of the psa and the problems with the biopsy for prostate cancer. That book scared the shit out of me so I was in denial for two years as my psa kept rising. Finally last December I submitted to the prostate biopsy and what a big nothing! You're given a small injection to numb the prostate before taking 12 samples. I would happily go through the procedure again so I highly recommend guys having it done if necessary. My results indicated that half of my prostate had the aggressive kind of cancer so surgery was the only option..complete removal. This was done on February 13th of this year. I had a catheter for a week and have been wearing men's diapers since then starting at 4 a day to now 2 a day and so I am expected to fully recover bladder control but it can take up to a year. Nevertheless that's better than the alternative: being dead. I am now cancer free and am monitored with psa test every 3 months for a year and then twice a year after that. Why? Because although the results indicated that the cancer was contained in the prostate there is still a small chance that they didn't get it all. There's a 33% chance the cancer will recur within 7 years. OK...so now how about sex? Well, as an active gay man, I am unable to have an erection naturally. So I have opted to have injections into my penis whenever I want to have sex. It sounds scary and you should have seen how nervous I was when the doctor was walking me through the process. However, I have to say that the injection is practically painless and I haven't had such a hard erection since my teens!!! Praise the Lord!!! So, here is my point..guys, get psa done each year and don't be afraid of the biopsy. You can still have sex after the prostate removal but you just have to adjust how you get there. I know that my posting is not specific to being a bottom but I really wanted to share my experience if it would help anyone else. If someone wants to speak privately about their experience please let me know. Take care of yourselves for each of you is precious.

[+ Axiom2001]

123 views and NO replies. Come on guys, if this cannot be discussed here.... then where can one go for an informed reply?

Please PM me if necessary.

Thanks so much

 

Perhaps NONE of us have undergone prostate removal. So far mine is in tact, but I'd presume if it were removed, there would be a tremendous loss of sensitivity in that area!

Now I'll go back and read what Steven posted for your perusal.

[+ HeyDude]

Top Guy,

Thanks for sharing your experience with us. I had a radical prostatectomy 6 years ago. About two months following surgery my surgeon put me on a prescription of 1/2 dose of Viagra daily and frequent if not daily masturbation as a form of physical therapy. This "practice" went on for a year. Today I find that with a normal dose of Viagra (one tablet) I can remain as hard and for as long (if not longer) then our professional hires. Not a surprise as I'm in bed with a hot young muscle stud while he is in bed with an old man (lol).

 

The good news for me was that "practice made (almost) perfect" in terms of getting and maintaining an erection. You might ask your doctor if this "physical therapy" protocol is a possible alternative for you.

 

Again, thanks for sharing yyour valuable experiences with us...

AeroGuy

[+ HeyDude]

Axiom,

Thanks for your comment "Perhaps NONE of us have undergone prostate removal." Evidence to the contrary is showing up in this Forum (see TopGuy) and in Private Messages that have arrived to my mail box....

Clearly there is a need for sharing these experiences in our special community. In addition, it may serve us well for our professional hires to gain some factual information about the consequences of prostate removal and empathy for our needs, through reading these posts. Therefore, special thanks to Steven for contributing to our discussion.

Aeroguy

[jackhammer91406]

One man's experience...

 

The main reason I did not respond to your thread earlier is because I am not a bottom. Your original request asked for a before and after from bottoms who had gone through prostate surgery. Since I cannot speak to that area of your inquiry, I may not have any information that will be useful for you. But after one respondent mentioned that there was no thread that discussed this common experience, I felt perhaps I had something to share after all.

 

This October will be three years since my battle with prostate cancer and the removal of my prostate via robotic surgery. This came one year and 3 months after battling Acute Myeloid Leukemia into remission.

 

Three days (a Friday) before my 63 birthday I went in for my surgery which was to take around 6-8 hours and involved 2 days in the hospital for recovery. A few short hours after I was wheeled from recovery to my room I began to experience complications with my catheter. The pain was pretty severe but I was given a button connected to my IV drip that allowed me to get morphine every 20 minutes. The pain began to get more and more severe and finally I pushed the button for the night nurse and she came but was unwilling to call a Doctor at 11 pm on a Friday night. I went through so much pain as my bladder filled that I couldn’t stand the touch of a sheet much less lying in bed. I grabbed the side rails on the bed to try and take the pressure off. It was awful. At shift change the next morning I was able to convince the incoming nurse to call someone and an elderly urologist showed up a few minutes later.

He told me I was going to hate him for 10 minutes and then I was going to love him. He was correct. Amazing pain as he removed the blockage from the catheter but almost immediate relief when he was done.

 

Because of that first night and the blockage, I developed other complications of the intestines that caused a complete blockage in my digestive tract. I was in the hospital for three weeks instead of three days. My stomach began to swell to such a degree that I asked a new nurse who was just coming in on another shift change to bring a pump that could be stuck down my throat to pump out the bile that was collecting there. Just as she came into the room with the tubing, I began to vomit, It was involuntary and I felt very bad about it for some time as I always like to make a good impression on a new nurse.

 

I was finally released after three weeks and went home to begin to deal with the aftermath and after effects of this kind of surgery. Because of the intestinal complication and my movement restrictions, I began to put on excessive additional weight. Diapers became an everyday necessity after the catheter was removed.

 

At first even ED drugs were unsuccessful. I suspect that the biggest issue in this kind of thing (aside from the physical complications ) is the emotional aspect. As men, we place so much importance on our “manhood”. It is often what helps to define us to ourselves. So losing the ability to produce children, or even have sex can play hell with your mind. I expect a lot of men haven’t replied to this thread for that very reason. It is something that has to be worked through and it may be different for each guy in some respects, but it’s the same for each of us in the main respect.

 

Last year I developed a very bad case of pneumonia and by the time I was taken to emergency I was delirious from a lack of oxygen to my brain. They told me later that they hadn't expected me to make it. I have no real memories of the first 5 days of my month in the hospital. As a result of my breathing difficulties, my weight increased until I had gained 100 lbs post surgery.

 

There were many days when the incontinence was just so depressing that it was hard to keep fighting. But as months went by, I looked back and realized, that it was slowly getting better. I began to be able to have an erection without any ED drugs so that’s a good thing.

 

Also I have managed to lose 60 of the 100 lbs I gained and that has impacted the firmness of my erection. Of course I no longer produce any semen when I climax, but the climaxes feel just as intense as they used to feel.

 

This year I have begun to be able to use shields instead of diapers which has been a great relief. I still have to use something because as my lungs continue to clear, I find that the intense coughing can occasionally cause a small discharge. Mine of course is a worst case scenario.

 

All of the above is why I started the Friday Funnies thread to begin with. Bad things can come at you in life without any effort on your part. They just happen. And yes, we can attract bad things by our actions and choices. But good things and funny things, well, you have to work at them.

 

So I will be tested again since my recent blood work this week indicates the Leukemia may be back. I go in for a bone marrow biopsy tomorrow morning. I may not have a chance to put something funny up on the thread, but be assured that the minute I can, I will.

 

Hope this helps.

[Newly]

A huge thank you to everyone who has posted here. It takes a lot of courage to talk about these issues but for every person who posts there are probably many going through this who are helped by knowing they're not alone. your courage is admired and very much appreciated.

[+ Funguy]

Let's all send wonderful and encouraging thoughts Jackhammer's way. He clearly has shown amazing fortitude to have gone through what he has and to have come out on the other side with his sense of humor intact.

 

His "good things and funny things, well, you have to work at them" attitude is what is needed more in this world.

 

My humble BEST hopes and wishes to you for tomorrow, Jackhammer!

[+ WilliamM]

I have not reponded until now for the same reason as jackhammer. I am not a bottom. My prostate operation was a while ago; it was 1996, so I was pretty young. The major factor that has stayed with me all these years -- even with a very good urologist and a relatively low PSA -- was insisting on a biopsy very early on. So they caught the cancer at a point where I have never needed any follow-up, such as radiation. And the recovery process was quick. I was back at work quickly, and easily could have gone back even sooner.

 

Yes, it's made a significant negative difference in my sex life. I can get an erection, but my days as a top are over. So I have to be much more inventive. I also regret having prostate cancer so long ago. In 1996, virtually every doctor recommended removal of my prostate because I was so young. My guess is recommendations might be different today.

 

I deeply wish my life had gone in a different direction. But, the experience taught me a lot that have been useful often since. For example, I strongly suggest getting 2nd, 3rd and perhaps 4th opinions. Be aware that sometimes you, the patient, have to take control. I could say more, but I shall leave it there....

[Diverdan]

Jackhammer,

Thanks for sharing your incredible story... some of my issues pale in comparison to what you have gone through, and I hope and pray that your upcoming tests will suggest a better course for your future than what you have gone through. Thanks again for sharing.

DD

[Guest Starbuck]

A huge thank you to everyone who has posted here. It takes a lot of courage to talk about these issues but for every person who posts there are probably many going through this who are helped by knowing they're not alone. Your courage is admired and very much appreciated.

 

+1 ... and best wishes to Jackhammer today.

[Steven_Draker]

Therefore, special thanks to Steven for contributing to our discussion.

 

You're welcome, Aeroguy.

 

Most professional escorts who have been around the block know personally someone who has gone through this.

 

You're not alone,

 

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_M0eIibWw6qU/TGD9Dtp9XJI/AAAAAAAAAFw/JSk0stSco9U/s1600/support+group.jpg

 

Whilst many wouldn't feel comfortable discussing this for various reasons, I'm glad you started this thread to give an opportunity to those who want to share theirs.

 

Good luck to Jackhammer today!

[swallows22]

Had mine out 17 March 1994. No problems with incontinence. However, no erection. Had to go to the penis injection. Was very effective at the beginning. Losing some of the effect after 10 years. Had to go from a top to a greedy bottom. Obviously, the sensitivity is gone, but now focus on the closeness of another person.

 

My consolation-best to live this life then die a slow agonizing death.[still going at 76]. Good luck to you. Cheers!

[TopGuy4940]

Jackhammer,

Thanks for sharing and I'm so sorry about how difficult it was/is for you. I will keep you in my prayers and wish you the best!

 

I also agree with the comment that the fact that you will not be able to have children or that you will no longer be able to ejaculate semen was a serious issue for me. Though I never really wanted children due to my history of child abuse, I was surprised how much this hit me. After surgery I started getting depressed so went back to prozac and am feeling much better but it has taken me about three months to feel like myself again. Luckily for me, affection has always been more important than performance so I don't miss sex that much and I do have a regular partner that is comfortable with where I'm at.

 

Thanks again, guys for sharing.

[BoogieNights]

Hi Aeroguy -

 

While Ryan and I obviously don't have personal experience, we do have about 1/2 dozen or so experiences over this past year, Aug 1st. being our 1 year anniversary of working, with those who have. We have dealt with full and partial removals, erectile implants/pumps and injections.

 

Bottom line, ba dum bum, it's always about the connection despite whatever physical sensations anyone, prostate or not, has. The client with the pump, gave him an erection, but he couldn't ejaculate any fluid, though he said he was able to reach a "dry" orgasm. Another client said they still felt a great sensation bottoming sans prostate, just like before they had it removed. Another couldn't get hard and said that even though there was no sensation down there, it was about losing control and being dominated...etc...

 

I think ultimately it doesn't matter what anyone else's experience is... because you have the responsibility to make your own experience amazing, with or without your friend the prostate. Your body will react totally different than anyone else's before or after a surgery. If the doc's say it's got to go... then it's got to go. Sure sex is partially about the physical... and who doesn't appreciate a great orgasm... but I firmly believe it is more about the touch and human connection than anything else.

 

Respectfully - Alec

[Diverdan]

Well said, Alec.. another indication of what great guys your are.

DD

[+ HeyDude]

Gentlemen,

I am infinitely grateful to each of you for sharing your experiences regarding prostate surgery, the range of post surgical outcomes and the impact it has had on our sexual experience.

 

I would like to share one piece of advice with those of you who may have to consider prostate surgery in the future. Of course, seeking a second and third opinion to confirm or reject the first opinion regarding the need for surgery is essential.

 

However, if after careful consideration, the decision is to surgically remove the prostate, then GO TO THE BEST SURGEON YOU CAN FIND.

 

Many of us would not think twice about flying to a distant city for a few hours with a very special escort. The same should be true regarding a prostate surgeon. In the case of prostate surgery, the outcome and your post surgical sexual function is overwhelming impacted by the experience and skill of the surgeon. Of course, the stage of the disease, your age and other physical limitations have importance too. But given your particular condition, a brilliant surgeon will get a very different outcome from an average surgeon (especially in sparing the delicate bed of nerves that are responsible for erection). Much has been written on this in the medical literature. You might ask the urologist and internist to help you locate the top urological surgeons in the country.

 

The local urological surgeon may be pretty good compared to the others in the neighborhood and he/she may have a good relationship with your internist. But the "best in your town" may be far from the "Best in the Country" in terms of your surgical outcome and sexual function.

 

If you have to fly half way or all the way across the country to engage the best surgeon, then do it!

PLEASE DO THIS RESEARCH.

[Frankly Rich]

Jackhammer mentioned an upcoming doctor's appointment, so I hope that we are sending good vibes and love his way as he deals with his health care. He's a longtime contributor here, and if we as a board are good for anything, it should be to support a fellow poster in a time of continuing crisis.

 

Best wishes, Jackhammer!

[Frankly Rich]

 

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_M0eIibWw6qU/TGD9Dtp9XJI/AAAAAAAAAFw/JSk0stSco9U/s1600/support+group.jpg

 

Good luck to Jackhammer today![/color]

 

+1

[+ HeyDude]

+1

+1

[Guest]

I know I've mentioned professional guidelines here before, and a lot of you guys poo-poo them. As of this time, the randomized clinical trials, following men for over 15 years have been done, and it's a known fact, not an opinion that PSA screening does NOT save lives. National guidelines written by world-renown experts now give only one of two recommendations: (1) PSA screening should not be done (USPSTF, AAFP), or (2) PSA screening should be done only if the patient has been fully informed that the risks of the screening exceed the benefits, and the patient wishes to proceed anyways (AUA, ACS). From the AUA's own website:

https://www.auanet.org/advnews/press_releases/article.cfm?articleNo=290

The guideline makes the following specific statements:

 

PSA screening in men under age 40 years is not recommended.

Routine screening in men between ages 40 to 54 years at average risk is not recommended.

For men ages 55 to 69 years, the decision to undergo PSA screening involves weighing the benefits of preventing prostate cancer mortality in 1 man for every 1,000 men screened over a decade against the known potential harms associated with screening and treatment. For this reason, shared decision-making is recommended for men age 55 to 69 years that are considering PSA screening, and proceeding based on patients’ values and preferences.

To reduce the harms of screening, a routine screening interval of two years or more may be preferred over annual screening in those men who have participated in shared decision-making and decided on screening. As compared to annual screening, it is expected that screening intervals of two years preserve the majority of the benefits and reduce over diagnosis and false positives.

Routine PSA screening is not recommended in men over age 70 or any man with less than a 10-15 year life expectancy.

 

In other words, if you have a prostate cancer discovered because of a "screening" PSA rather than because you have symptoms, the chance that this cancer would kill you before you have symptoms is 1 in a thousand. Feeling lucky? When my primary care physician asked me if I was interested in PSA screening, I said "You can take my prostate out of my body when it's cold and dead." Of course, there are always those who believe they know more than the leading experts in the field...