Encounters with sociopaths?

[+ Gar1eth]

Every time I read the Title to this thread 'Encounter With A Sociopath' it puts me in mind of Gilderoy Lockhart from Harry Potter who was a sociopath-or at least a narcissist- who 'wrote' books like 'Break With A Banshee' or ' Holiday With Hags'.

 

Gman

[+ FreshFluff]

Guys, just to be clear: I have zero interest in this guy. Whatever the true facts are, he has a very serious problem. It's just one of those WTF moments, especially since I wonder what would have happened if I had agreed to go out with him or come back to his place.

 

Okie, based on the escorts you've mentioned, I could actually see you liking this guy's outer appearance--esp if you like salt and pepper hair.

 

I like the photo and caption. I prefer this one though.

http://g1.flamingtext.ft-uc.com/MjAxNDA2MjQ/flamingtext_com_MTczOTU1MTkwMzU.jpg

[BallerBoy]

For some strange reason I've always found the personality characteristics of a sociopath rather interesting. After reading the book "The Sociopath next door", I realized some of my closest friends exhibited characteristics of a sociopath. They could also be very kind and compassionate when the need arises, but it was always with an ulterior motive.

[MrMiniver]

Every time I read the Title to this thread 'Encounter With A Sociopath' it puts me in mind of Gilderoy Lockhart from Harry Potter who was a sociopath-or at least a narcissist- who 'wrote' books like 'Break With A Banshee' or ' Holiday With Hags'.

 

Gman

 

Narcissist. He was not a sociopath. Two completely different things.

[+ Gar1eth]

Every time I read the Title to this thread 'Encounter With A Sociopath' it puts me in mind of Gilderoy Lockhart from Harry Potter who was a sociopath-or at least a narcissist- who 'wrote' books like 'Break With A Banshee' or ' Holiday With Hags'.

 

Gman

 

Narcissist. He was not a sociopath. Two completely different things.

 

 

He lied. He had no care that his lies would hurt others. He was willing to harm others to keep those lies hidden. That seems a bit more than the average narcissist.

 

Gman

[bigvalboy]

Guys, just to be clear: I have zero interest in this guy. Whatever the true facts are, he has a very serious problem. It's just one of those WTF moments, especially since I wonder what would have happened if I had agreed to go out with him or come back to his place.

 

Well you are obviously a very bright and cautious young lady. Thankfully your 'street smarts' ruled the day... BTW...love the pic.

 

Okie, based on the escorts you've mentioned, I could actually see you liking this guy's outer appearance--esp if you like salt and pepper hair.

 

I like the photo and caption. I prefer this one though.

http://g1.flamingtext.ft-uc.com/MjAxNDA2MjQ/flamingtext_com_MTczOTU1MTkwMzU.jpg

[Mark Gordon]

2. Was the tattoo henna'ed or something?

 

It was probably made of sheer polyester. You can buy them for cheap on eBay:

 

http://www.ebay.ca/sch/i.html?_from=R40&_sacat=0&_nkw=sleeve+tattoo

 

http://i925.photobucket.com/albums/ad99/ardentquixote/Tattoo.jpg

 

There are Pick Up Artist Boards on the Internet?

 

Here is a particularly disturbing example of same:

 

http://www.rooshvforum.com/

[+ Gar1eth]

It was probably made of sheer polyester. You can buy them for cheap on eBay:

 

http://www.ebay.ca/sch/i.html?_from=R40&_sacat=0&_nkw=sleeve+tattoo

 

http://i925.photobucket.com/albums/ad99/ardentquixote/Tattoo.jpg

 

 

 

Here is a particularly disturbing example of same:

 

http://www.rooshvforum.com/

 

If I were going to wear a tattoo ( which I'm not), these would be my kind of tattoo.

 

Gman

[+ FreshFluff]

Well you are obviously a very bright and cautious young lady. Thankfully your 'street smarts' ruled the day... BTW...love the pic.

 

 

I saw your earlier post, before you edited. You are right: I would not go to anyone's place (or let him go to mine) until I had met him at least twice (if I knew his circle) and three times (if I didn't). '

 

But then again, I'm not much of a drinker. I don't know how much discipline I'd have if I were to get drunk.

[+ FreshFluff]

Mark, yes!! That's exactly what it looked like. He clearly had the routine down, pulling down his sleeve so you couldn't feel that it was nylon.

 

BTW, I remember now: He said he had gotten the tattoo done in Brazil, where he had lived. cute.

[+ Gar1eth]

Mark, yes!! That's exactly what it looked like. He clearly had the routine down, pulling down his sleeve so you couldn't feel that it was nylon.

 

BTW, I remember now: He said he had gotten the tattoo done in Brazil, where he had lived. cute.

 

FF,

 

Would you say that a majority of your female social crowd like tattoos? If not, I wonder why he would wear it.

 

Gman

[wayout]

An interesting experience you had ff. One has to wonder what his batting average might be...there are many women who aren't as aware or observant as you so just think if he has been doing this for a while how many may have fallen for it. And your comment that you were actually giving him tips to be a better PUA is very true...and unfortunately a bit scary for the next ladies.

[bigvalboy]

I saw your earlier post, before you edited. You are right: I would not go to anyone's place (or let him go to mine) until I had met him at least twice (if I knew his circle) and three times (if I didn't). '

 

But then again, I'm not much of a drinker. I don't know how much discipline I'd have if I were to get drunk.

 

Ha....wow FF, it was up for less than two minutes... I did edit, because after reading it, I was afraid that you would think I was questioning your judgment, or your ability to handle yourself in questionable social situations, which was not my intent. I am only glad that your are safe, and I do feel better knowing that you possess the necessary 'street smarts' to expose this PUA.

[+ Chris Eisenhower]

FF,

 

Would you say that a majority of your female social crowd like tattoos? If not, I wonder why he would wear it.

 

Gman

 

Because a fake tattoo is an easy way to change your physical description if you're ever suspected of something by police. As are elevator shoes.

[+ quoththeraven]

I saw your earlier post, before you edited. You are right: I would not go to anyone's place (or let him go to mine) until I had met him at least twice (if I knew his circle) and three times (if I didn't). '

 

But then again, I'm not much of a drinker. I don't know how much discipline I'd have if I were to get drunk.

 

An interesting experience you had ff. One has to wonder what his batting average might be...there are many women who aren't as aware or observant as you so just think if he has been doing this for a while how many may have fallen for it. And your comment that you were actually giving him tips to be a better PUA is very true...and unfortunately a bit scary for the next ladies.

 

All of which is why the PUA movement is so scary and why it's important that it be called out for what it is wherever it's seen. It may not seem like it's important to gay men, but it's part of the same hateful mindset that puts down anything that threatens heteronormativity. It's also a breeding ground for potential rapists, as well as being the product of a mentality that condones and encourages pushing boundaries as far as possible, which is just another way of saying "down to rape."

 

FF, even though showing him some of the mistakes he made may have helped him become a better PUA, I think you did the right thing. In the long run, it's important for these folks to know that other people are onto them and see what they do for what it is.

[MrMiniver]

He lied. He had no care that his lies would hurt others. He was willing to harm others to keep those lies hidden. That seems a bit more than the average narcissist.

 

Gman

 

I can only surmise that you haven't read the books or don't really know what a sociopath is.

[+ FreshFluff]

FF,Would you say that a majority of your female social crowd like tattoos? If not, I wonder why he would wear it.

 

The majority of women may not like tattoos, but he wouldn't care. That tattoo draws his target group, which are young, rather naive women who are in the mood to be wild. (He doesn't want women who are really into tattoos, for obvious reasons.)

 

You've got to give him credit for how quickly he read me and adjusted his identity accordingly. He's a real con artist. (When we met on the street, he complained that I was very different from the other women he met, which supports the argument about the target market.)

 

I think he goes well beyond a standard PUA, but he did pull several PUA-type moves. One of the better executed ones was this:

Him: "Some things that are important to me are

[lists facial looks and intelligence]. It would be nice if the woman was X, but you don't look like you are."

Me: Actually, I am X.

 

I think he knew this, but either way, he wins. He reframed the conversation so that HE is now the gatekeeper.

 

Because a fake tattoo is an easy way to change your physical description if you're ever suspected of something by police. As are elevator shoes

 

You're right. I hadn't thought of that.

[+ quoththeraven]

I'm confused again. Was he clever or inept? If he was both, that seems somewhat contradictory.

 

In any event, combining both traits suggests more of a narcissist than sociopath, something I thought about saying before but didn't because I don't have any credentials or experience in the mental health field. Besides, there's a debate over whether sociopathy and psychopathy (lumped together in the DSM under anti-scoial personality disorder) are even meaningful terms, and some people make distinctions between them that suggest this guy may fall more on the side of psychopathy rather than sociopathy.

[Frankly Rich]

In my memory, this is the first extended thread that we have had where two women participated...at least two women who acknowledged being women. (Who knows who lurks behind these names?)

I think it is really a nice turn of events here.

[+ Gar1eth]

Every time I read the Title to this thread 'Encounter With A Sociopath' it puts me in mind of Gilderoy Lockhart from Harry Potter who was a sociopath-or at least a narcissist- who 'wrote' books like 'Break With A Banshee' or ' Holiday With Hags'.

 

Gman

 

Narcissist. He was not a sociopath. Two completely different things.

 

He lied. He had no care that his lies would hurt others. He was willing to harm others to keep those lies hidden. That seems a bit more than the average narcissist.

 

Gman

 

I can only surmise that you haven't read the books or don't really know what a sociopath is.

 

sociopath[ soh-see-uh-path, soh-shee- ]

noun [Psychiatry.]

1. a person with a psychopathic personality whose behavior is antisocial, often criminal, and who lacks a sense of moral responsibility or social conscience.

 

 

So let's see - Gilderoy Lockhart #1. Lies to people about his experiences. #2. Performs illegal Memory Charms and steals people's life experiences without any remorse. #3. Allows students to be injured in a class on duels when he knows he actually has no experience.

 

Yes, I guess you are right. I must not have read the books or know what a sociopath is.

 

Gman

[+ FreshFluff]

I'm confused again. Was he clever or inept? If he was both, that seems somewhat contradictory.

 

In any event, combining both traits suggests more of a narcissist than sociopath, something I thought about saying before but didn't because I don't have any credentials or experience in the mental health field. Besides, there's a debate over whether sociopathy and psychopathy (lumped together in the DSM under anti-scoial personality disorder) are even meaningful terms, and some people make distinctions between them that suggest this guy may fall more on the side of psychopathy rather than sociopathy.

 

Both. The peacocking and qualifying were two techniques he executed well, well enough that I didn't realize what he was doing until later.

 

However, some others were executed badly enough to set off alarm bells in the moment.

[BgMstr4u]

When did men start lying to women in order to get laid? I forget -- was it just before or just after the dawn of time?

[+ FreshFluff]

When did men start lying to women in order to get laid. I forget -- was it just before or just after the dawn of time?

 

There's lying and then there's completely making up an identity. The latter is extremely unusual in my experience. I meet a lot of guys, and this is the first time I've ever seen anything like this.

 

If anyone else I've encountered made up an identity, whatever he fabricated was too lame to even to attract my attention.

[+ quoththeraven]

In my memory, this is the first extended thread that we have had where two women participated...at least two women who acknowledged being women. (Who knows who lurks behind these names?)

I think it is really a nice turn of events here.

 

Need to correct the record here. All three of the women who post regularly on the forum have shown up on this thread -- FreshFluff (the OP), tyro, and me. Nor is this the first thread that's been true of. All three of us posted in response to marylander1940's thread on the man with the beautiful mug shot. (FF and I weren't impressed.)

 

I appreciate your appreciation, especially since this board was founded for the benefit of gay men, not women. As someone who's not shy about expressing my opinion, I wasn't sure how I'd be received.

 

It's true that anyone could be lurking behind a screen name, but based on my life experience, I feel relatively confident no one who posts regularly is disguising his or her gender.

[Frankly Rich]

Need to correct the record here. All three of the women who post regularly on the forum have shown up on this thread -- FreshFluff (the OP), tyro, and me. Nor is this the first thread that's been true of. All three of us posted in response to marylander1940's thread on the man with the beautiful mug shot. (FF and I weren't impressed.)

 

I appreciate your appreciation, especially since this board was founded for the benefit of gay men, not women. As someone who's not shy about expressing my opinion, I wasn't sure how I'd be received.

 

It's true that anyone could be lurking behind a screen name, but based on my life experience, I feel relatively confident no one who posts regularly is disguising his or her gender.

 

hehehe...I've also been around message boards long enough to qualify my statements by saying "in my memory, this is the first extended thread...!"