Is the increase in bareback porn changing the way clients view escorts?

[JoeyBryant]

It seems that bareback porn is currently dominating the gay video scene. Now, I'm not a porn star nor do I claim to know a whole bunch about it. I'm also not expressing any opinion about guys who may choose to do bareback porn. However, lately I'm getting more of either bareback 'requests' or guys trying to see if actually play 'safe'.

 

One of the things that caught my attention, was when a regular client in another area asked if bareback. We've seen each other 3 other times before and I hadn't gotten that question. When I responded, I threw the question back at him, Saying "you've never asked me that before, is that what YOU'RE wanting?" I didn't get a response. But then a few minutes later he cancelled. I was like what the hell, why ask me that question and then not show up? But...I could see how my answer may have 'opened the door', however we have always played safe in the past. I believe the fact that he always schedules appointments on adam, was a reason. Adam advertises more and more bareback porn sites each month. Of course, it doesn't just stop at adam. Here's some responses I've received in the past to my ads:

 

Hi there.

50, 6'0", 211

Total sub/bottom

Do you bareback?

Love BBC and thick cream cum.

I am ddf/ub2/bb.

 

and

Thanks for the reply. I'm an experienced uninhibited bottom guy who has never hired an escort but thought about it many times. I'm into verbal black tops to use my hole, prefer bb...it's cool if that's not your thing, I understand.

 

plus

 

Interested in hookup Thursday evening for wild side can host ok

Hug kiss rim ws bottom bareback

 

not to mention:

Hey there, I'm looking for a bareback top to fuck a few loads up my butt. If you're interested, I can arrange to fly you up to (city) and get a room (for the night or the weekend, depending on your overnight rate). If you're interested, hit me back and let's arrange something. Regards,

 

2 of the respondents didn't reply back, when I mentioned I don't do BB. Reading these responses, one would believe the bareback movement may even be promoting the idea that Black escorts are willing to bareback and people just expect it. I pretty much put play safe on my ads, but what if I didn't put anything? Could I expect more requests? Not saying I'm going to do that, but what if this is a new market trend? I've also noticed from 1 city to the next, 1 site to the other...more and more Black escorts are using backpage instead of men4rent and rentboy. I don't know if it's due to the fact that the latter 2 have become wastes of money in 2014...or if this whole bareback movement is actually hurting a certain segment of escorts.

 

One can pretty much be fucked if he advertises playing safe, and fucked if he advertises bareback. It's like all the clients want bareback, but everyone wants someone who is drug and disease free. How the fuck hell can anyone make a profit margin from that?

[Guy Fawkes]

No, Bareback Bad!

[Nvr2Thick]

I agree that it's a polarizing issue. If you advertise as "safe only" you're going to drive away the guys who want or fantasize about bareback sex. If any escort were to advertise as "sometimes safe" or "requires discussion" he's going to drive off clients that only play safe and clients won't play with men who expose that they aren't always safe. If you leave your safe sex practices ambiguous even though you strictly play safe you're going to scare off clients that interpret that ambiguity as "sometimes safe".

 

It's not quite the same thing, but I post as "safe only" on A4A and my CL ads.

 

In a prior post I thought you said that you don't post as "safe sex only" because you correctly believe that oral without a condom is not safe sex. Gay society, however, generalizes safe sex as anal sex with a condom. I'd recommend that you comform to that standard because that's how most of the clients will interpret it, and then clarify about your oral sex practices.

 

You may feel that you're fucked if you advertise playing safe. Try to look at it as aligning yourself with the customers you'd care to do business with, and who'd care to do business with you.

[Steven_Draker]

If you advertise as "safe only" you're going to drive away the guys who want or fantasize about bareback sex.

 

You may feel that you're fucked if you advertise playing safe.

 

 

I'm having trouble interpreting your message, Nvr2Thick. What about if you play safe and advertise as playing safe? Are you still "fucked"?

 

 

Ok, I admit that the whole hypocrisy and 'double standards' around playing bareback with clients seeking bareback sex while advertising "safe" to those looking to play safe is sickening.

 

Hopefully, escorts willing and providing bareback services to a certain clientele, don't have to operate in the shadow and would assume their decision.

 

A recent study brought to light that among 418 male escorts in New York, 30% did not use a condom with their last male client.

 

[marylander1940]

This subject again...

 

http://constructlondon.com/system/ckeditor_assets/pictures/110/content_Construct_Not_Again_Lowres.jpg

 

It seems that bareback porn is currently dominating the gay video scene. Now, I'm not a porn star nor do I claim to know a whole bunch about it. I'm also not expressing any opinion about guys who may choose to do bareback porn. However, lately I'm getting more of either bareback 'requests' or guys trying to see if actually play 'safe'.

 

Not yet, but I think most gay porno will be BB within a couple of years.

 

Reading these responses, one would believe the bareback movement may even be promoting the idea that Black escorts are willing to bareback and people just expect it.

 

Sad! Is Thug the new BB? That's a racist stereotype, skin color and culture have nothing to do with making fucked up choices in life, besides I guarantee you that BB is more common in the trailer parks of Middle America than it is in our inner cities ghettos and "barrios".

 

One can pretty much be fucked if he advertises playing safe, and fucked if he advertises bareback. It's like all the clients want bareback, but everyone wants someone who is drug and disease free. How the fuck hell can anyone make a profit margin from that?

 

Exactly, we're all negative and disease free, yet guys keep getting infected. Escorts sometimes lie about their age, why not been dishonest about their status. Even clients lie about their looks and age. I know a local escort who visited a client that described himself as "chubby", the chubby guys was 300lbs, that ain't chubby not even for his mama.

 

Unfortunately, I know a lot of guys in their 50's are in a "fuck it" mode, they are close to Social Security, almost retired, some savings in the bank, and they've always used condoms, now they just don't care about taking it raw, you only live once, right?

 

Young men also never considered HIV deadly and they don't mind taking a few pills a day, they think it's like diabetes.

 

I always email an escort asking for safe sex, all of them say yes, after that I email the same escort from a different account and ask for BB, 75% of the time the escorts agree to BB with me. Obviously, I cancel.

[rocky]

Gee sorry to surprise those out there in the perfect world; there are those who like to be barebacked (is that a word?) and those who bareback. Now if an escort makes it clear that what he does, you, like me, those accordingly when ordering or putting a request in for an escort, which is what we're doing. I become very upset with those who appear upright and trying to teach some of us lessons, the same ones who are out there escorting. I just don't get it, call me stupid and i'm sure someone will. I choose, escorts choose, if someone who is scared of what an escort may or may not have then ask and go accordingly. Stop lecturing me

[EastbayMike]

+1!

 

Gee sorry to surprise those out there in the perfect world; there are those who like to be barebacked (is that a word?) and those who bareback. Now if an escort makes it clear that what he does, you, like me, those accordingly when ordering or putting a request in for an escort, which is what we're doing. I become very upset with those who appear upright and trying to teach some of us lessons, the same ones who are out there escorting. I just don't get it, call me stupid and i'm sure someone will. I choose, escorts choose, if someone who is scared of what an escort may or may not have then ask and go accordingly. Stop lecturing me

[Frankly Rich]

"Unfortunately, I know a lot of guys in their 50's are in a "fuck it" mode, they are close to Social Security, almost retired, some savings in the bank, and they've always used condoms, now they just don't care about taking it raw, you only live once, right?"

 

I don't know any guys like that. I'm surprised that you do.

[marylander1940]

Gee sorry to surprise those out there in the perfect world; there are those who like to be barebacked (is that a word?) and those who bareback. Now if an escort makes it clear that what he does, you, like me, those accordingly when ordering or putting a request in for an escort, which is what we're doing. I become very upset with those who appear upright and trying to teach some of us lessons, the same ones who are out there escorting. I just don't get it, call me stupid and i'm sure someone will. I choose, escorts choose, if someone who is scared of what an escort may or may not have then ask and go accordingly. Stop lecturing me

 

 

 

We can defeat HIV if we ALL use condoms!

Let's be responsible!

[Frankly Rich]

We can defeat HIV if we ALL use condoms!

Let's be responsible!

 

You need to direct that to your friends in thieir 50's who don't give a fuck. After all, they are close to getting Social Security! If they live that long.

[marylander1940]

"Unfortunately, I know a lot of guys in their 50's are in a "fuck it" mode, they are close to Social Security, almost retired, some savings in the bank, and they've always used condoms, now they just don't care about taking it raw, you only live once, right?"

 

I don't know any guys like that. I'm surprised that you do.

 

You didn't check postings 6 and 7, I don't know if they're on fuck it mode, they're on right to BB mode.

 

And now I'm sure I'll be left alone defending condom users in this forum against guys who want to take the risk to BB and if infected pass the bill to their health insurance companies.

 

I've avoided getting involved in the "Austin Wolf slaps a client who suggested BB", but now I'm here defending condom users.

 

You need to direct that to your friends in thieir 50's who don't give a fuck. After all, they are close to getting Social Security! If they live that long.

 

Been there, done that, many times. I practice tough love in and out of the forum (and I don't mean S&M).

 

I have a friend who says blacks are poor because they're irresponsible... they guy has been positive for 10 years, he admits he got it because of BB sex in a bath house here in DC. He gets his expensive truvada from the Whitman-Walker Clinic, all paid by the City's government that has a lot of other things to do with money.

 

I've pointed his hypocrisy over and over again and the still doesn't get the point.

 

Do you want to take parts in this forum saying you're pro-condoms or pro-freedom to BB?

 

Please do it, I'll need help!

 

I think we're on the same side but if you admit it, you'll get all the angry PM from the "freedom to BB coalition".

 

No, Bareback Bad!

 

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/4/4b/2010-07-02_Gay_Pride_Roma_-_Pro_Life_-_Pro_Condom_2.jpg/1280px-2010-07-02_Gay_Pride_Roma_-_Pro_Life_-_Pro_Condom_2.jpg

[+ ArVaGuy]

Oh good God!! Another circular firing squad on this issue. No offense here Joey, just the observation that every time this topic is broached there's a lot of back and forth but no resolution. The horse has left the barn. The bareback genie is long out of the bottle for whatever reason.

 

I am aware of a study released last year that stated the largest group of gay males who bareback were men over the age of fifty. I can't remember the exact study source as it was a year ago. Though it was liked via TheSword.com.

 

There are clients and escorts who bareback. There are clients and escorts who only practice safe sex. In either case one seeking the other is going to meet up and engage in their preferred practice. Why people get worked up is beyond my comprehension. What consenting adults do in private is still their own business.

 

By this time everyone knows how HIV is transmitted and if they choose to take risks, just what the hell can anyone else do about it? The only sexual history one can be 100 percent assured of is their own.

[+ deej]

The only sexual history one can be 100 percent assured of is their own.

 

This.

[Strafe13]

This.

 

I don't see what the big deal is about with clients, who can still choose to have safe sex even with escorts who BB (in private, in porn, or with other clients). I had fabulous safe sex when I hired a well known BB porn star a little over a year ago, and it was absolutely no issue at all to even ask (I insisted, actually), as he had his own preferred large size brand. It really seems like much ado about nothing, IMHO. I mean, sending 2nd e-mails to escorts from secret accounts to test if they'll willingly engage in a consensual practice with (who they think is) another adult, just to cancel on them? I understand where the guy is coming from, but, respectfully, it really seems like total overkill to me. I know escorts often complain about who they perceive as flaky clients. Might not such a practice (assuming the escorts don't figure out the m.o.) contribute to this perception?

 

Especially in this day and age where HIV is managed via anti-retroviral meds, med-compliant positive persons with undetectable viral loads are extremely unlikely to infect others, and condom use is no longer the only method of safer-sex/prevention (see PrEP). I understand the traditional reticence to abandon certain widely held life-saving techniques, but we have to recognize that medical advances have changed the calculus. If people are assessing their risk differently (at least re: HIV transmission), I don't know how sound it is to keep harping on others when we don't know their individual circumstances.

 

The real problem is for the safer-sex escorts in Joey's predicament who feel like there's pressure from the client base to BB, but also feel pressure from the safer-sex clients who treat BB or HIV-positive escorts like pariahs. Even if they're negative and are protecting themselves from HIV via PrEP, they may feel undue pressure from some clients, and feel unfairly labeled by others. It's a lose-lose for them, and I find that unfortunate.

[matureguy69]

no bare back , if an escort said he only does that then sorry its good bye

[+ ArVaGuy]

no bare back , if an escort said he only does that then sorry its good bye

 

But what about the escort who books a client only to find out later the guy barebacks? Where's his opportunity to say "goodbye"? And if said escort does find out the client barebacks through either a direct request or information exchanged with a colleague, what then? What about just as the session starts and the client wants bareback, the escort refuses and ends the session? The safe sex practicing escort is, pardon the pun, fucked in these situations.

 

Clients in these situations have the option to take to these boards and trash the escort or write a negative review. The escort is limited in his own defense in such circumstances. If he reveals the client requested unsafe practices then the escort is criticized for making up a story or betraying a confidence. Then there's the whole "he said this /he said that" argument that ensues.

[SteveEscort]

You may feel that you're fucked if you advertise playing safe. Try to look at it as aligning yourself with the customers you'd care to do business with, and who'd care to do business with you.

I am one of the very few gay escorts who screen print and publish their hiv test results, the last one being on Wednesday

 

I know of very very very few escorts who do this and I do this solely because you need to know that I am safe (or as safe as I can be) for your peace of mind

 

 

http://www.steveescort.co.uk/siteimages/stevehiv.jpg

[Nvr2Thick]

I'm having trouble interpreting your message, Nvr2Thick. What about if you play safe and advertise as playing safe? Are you still "fucked"?

 

 

Ok, I admit that the whole hypocrisy and 'double standards' around playing bareback with clients seeking bareback sex while advertising "safe" to those looking to play safe is sickening.

 

Hopefully, escorts willing and providing bareback services to a certain clientele, don't have to operate in the shadow and would assume their decision.

 

A recent study brought to light that among 418 male escorts in New York, 30% did not use a condom with their last male client.

 

[/color]

 

Joey's message seems to be that one way or another you're going to drive away clients by advertising your safe sex policy. If I'm interpreting his concern correctly he feels that he's fucked if he plays safe and advertises "safe only" -- he's fucked because he misses out on the clients that want a raw encounter, or at least the possibility of one.

 

I apologize for being unclear. I've skipped a few steps. The clients he misses out on are ones that he probably doesn't want anyway. These are clients that want a service he doesn't provide -- bareback sex. If he actually met these clients there would be a disconnect. He wouldn't want to play with a client who demands raw sex. They'd be disappointed because he doesn't fuck raw. He's not "fucked" because of the missed opportunity; he has aligned his ad to the appropriate clientele.

 

...at least that was my interpretation of this comment:

"One can pretty much be fucked if he advertises playing safe, and fucked if he advertises bareback. It's like all the clients want bareback, but everyone wants someone who is drug and disease free. How the fuck hell can anyone make a profit margin from that?"

[Steven_Draker]

The real problem is for the safer-sex escorts in Joey's predicament who feel like there's pressure from the client base to BB, but also feel pressure from the safer-sex clients who treat BB or HIV-positive escorts like pariahs. Even if they're negative and are protecting themselves from HIV via PrEP, they may feel undue pressure from some clients, and feel unfairly labeled by others. It's a lose-lose for them, and I find that unfortunate.

 

I see things a bit differently.

 

I'm one of the aforementioned escorts and I don't think it's a lose-lose situation.

 

I'd gladly send your way any client who is pushing bareback and not respecting my integrity and safe-sex policy. Fortunately, they are few and far between.

 

You can't have your cake and eat it too!

[marylander1940]

I don't see what the big deal is about with clients, who can still choose to have safe sex even with escorts who BB (in private, in porn, or with other clients).

 

My granny used to say about stray cats: "don't feed them because they will breed."

 

Who am I to judge? I simply lost half my friends to HIV in the 80's

 

... one way or another you're going to drive away clients by advertising your safe sex policy. If I'm interpreting his concern correctly he feels that he's fucked if he plays safe and advertises "safe only" -- he's fucked because he misses out on the clients that want a raw encounter, or at least the possibility of one.

 

I think guys who say "Safe sometimes" or plain BB with clients will also scare potential clients who want to play safe with someone who always plays safe. How many guys a successful escort sees every week? 10 or 15? Picture if he BB with half of them because "condoms hurt", "I don't need Viagra, blame the condom".

 

Remember that clients who BB want the escort to be negative and disease free and they want to be the only client to have that "intimate bf experience" "skin on skin" feeling with that escort. If he's willing to BB with you, how do you know he doesn't do it with a lot of other men? I know, irrational, isn't it?

 

http://www.blogcdn.com/www.engadget.com/media/2008/03/spitzer-client-9.jpg

 

http://matthewashton.files.wordpress.com/2011/09/client-9-eliot-spitzer.jpg

[+ Axiom2001]

We can defeat HIV if we ALL use condoms!

Let's be responsible!

 

I thunderously applaud and endorse what you wrote in your two sentences. Wish the hundreds of others out there would do as you so candidly and succinctly presented,

including those porn stars who were once into using condoms. Now it's BB and "raw" and "breed me!" I don't get it! [use female condoms!]

 

Recently, I canceled three for pay sites as a result of the guys fucking bareback. I also wrote one at our Facebook pages as well as during a cam session that he was having.

Both of my attempts to discuss this were completely futile, for I received no response. Since I refuse to support bb in any way-- I canceled my subscription with him as well as with the two others.

[instudiocity]

We've got to give Barebacking a new name - Bare? Sounds wonderful! Barebacking? What could be the harm if he's clean?

 

I prefer AIDS Roulette - you do it without a condom enough times, you too can get the bug.

 

So let's start correcting those who say "Bareback?" Oh? Do you mean AIDS ROULETTE?

[marylander1940]

I thunderously applaud and endorse what you wrote in your two sentences. Wish the hundreds of others out there would do as you so candidly and succinctly presented,

including those porn stars who were once into using condoms. Now it's BB and "raw" and "breed me!" I don't get it! [use female condoms!]

 

Recently, I canceled three for pay sites as a result of the guys fucking bareback. I also wrote one at our Facebook pages as well as during a cam session that he was having.

Both of my attempts to discuss this were completely futile, for I received no response. Since I refuse to support bb in any way-- I canceled my subscription with him as well as with the two others.

 

Thanks for posting, I'm glad we're still a silent majority of condom wearing guys.

 

Oh? Do you mean AIDS ROULETTE?

 

Perfect! Such a great way to make it easy to understand!

 

http://ring.cdandlp.com/nounettetime/photo_grande/114741598.jpg

[Steven_Draker]

... if an escort makes it clear that what he does

 

What about those who aren't open about what they do?

 

If you engage in bareback sex and offer bareback services to clients: put it in your profile. Is there something to be ashamed of?

 

Clients will make an informed decision pending their preference.

 

Who am I to tell you that barebacking is morally wrong? And I won't. As ArVaGuy pointed out above: "what consenting adults do in private is still their own business" ... when all parties are fully informed. No judgment here.

 

A self-righteous person professing what's good and bad doesn't serve anyone's interest and usually doesn't achieve anything.

 

I call for more openness, honesty (from both parts of the equation) and an open and frank dialogue when it comes to sex.

[+ Funguy]

What about those who aren't open about what they do?

 

If you engage in bareback sex and offer bareback services to clients: put it in your profile. Is there something to be ashamed of?

 

Clients will make an informed decision pending their preference.

 

A self-righteous person professing what's good and bad doesn't serve anyone's interest and won't achieve anything.

 

Who am I to tell you that barebacking is morally wrong? And I won't. As ArVaGuy pointed out above: "what consenting adults do in private is still their own business" ... when all parties are fully informed.

 

I call for more openness, honesty (from both parts of the equation) and an open and frank dialogue when it comes to sex.

 

+1 …. when given the appropriate info, we're all adults (I hope) and mature enuf to make informed decisions. You'll get what you want if you look for it.