What happened?

[Bosguy]

I have been a huge fan of the Fetish Forum since I first became a member of the Forum 3+ years ago. From a completely naïve beginner, I have learned so much from this Forum (do's and don'ts, what to purchase and where as I moved forward, ACTUAL experiences that I would eventually try, and a bunch of great advocates that I would personally learn from, that has made this journey safe and "painfully" over-the-top enjoyable.

WG, Doit, and others in the last 2 threads have depicted some of the hottest Leather Men and BDSM situations imaginable, but I feel that there is so much more that guys who are REALLY into our scene could LEARN from and EXPERIENCE. The responses to the pictures are starting to remind me of a combination of 2 shows "Fantasy Island" and "Burns and Allen".

Pictures are definitely a PART of this, but shared knowledge from EXPERIENCED GUYS is a very important aspect. Let's get back to DOERS not DREAMERS.

 

My Opinion.

Boston Bill

[+ Funguy]

Agree completely, Bosguy. As a newbie in the lifestyle, I am incredibly fascinated with the psychology/philosophy behind the subject.

 

As I said in Story #2, Installment #1, BDSM is not just about pain/pleasure, tho pain may lead to exquisite pleasure. It really is about power, giving and receiving, the ability to give up that power and allow someone else to take over. Since that is the case, it is my feeling, esp. as a sub, that the sub is the one with the ultimate power as he can cause the entire scene to come to a grinding halt with one word.

 

The other thing that is so fascinating is that the entire BDSM scene is misunderstood as Doms being these really big guys (gotta luv’em) and Subs being their “property” and very weak and submissive, in real life too. Yes, that is often the case, but probably more often than not, the subs can be powerful, important, responsible individuals in their own right and who get off by allowing their Dom to take over their power and responsibilities in order to “decompress.” Someone who, in regular life, is a boss, has employees, and must be sharp and in control all of the time can really get down with giving up that responsibility for a few hours. Sigh. Look at Nelson Rockefeller and his latex suit!

 

Would love to learn more ins and outs, so to speak. I think I remember a thread a long time back in which WG gave some very informative info…..would like to continue that.

 

Comments?

[Bosguy]

Agree completely, Bosguy. As a newbie in the lifestyle, I am incredibly fascinated with the psychology/philosophy behind the subject.

 

As I said in Story #2, Installment #1, BDSM is not just about pain/pleasure, tho pain may lead to exquisite pleasure. It really is about power, giving and receiving, the ability to give up that power and allow someone else to take over. Since that is the case, it is my feeling, esp. as a sub, that the sub is the one with the ultimate power as he can cause the entire scene to come to a grinding halt with one word.

 

The other thing that is so fascinating is that the entire BDSM scene is misunderstood as Doms being these really big guys (gotta luv’em) and Subs being their “property” and very weak and submissive, in real life too. Yes, that is often the case, but probably more often than not, the subs can be powerful, important, responsible individuals in their own right and who get off by allowing their Dom to take over their power and responsibilities in order to “decompress.” Someone who, in regular life, is a boss, has employees, and must be sharp and in control all of the time can really get down with giving up that responsibility for a few hours. Sigh. Look at Nelson Rockefeller and his latex suit!

 

Would love to learn more ins and outs, so to speak. I think I remember a thread a long time back in which WG gave some very informative info…..would like to continue that.

 

Comments?

 

You are so right and guys like WG and Raul are masters at the whole scene from mild to extreme and everything in between.. It is primarily these 2 guys (strangely a client and an escort) who have been my guides along this incredible journey. There are also a large number of escorts who are accomplished "partners in crime" who make the allure become reality in a safe and HOT manner.

 

I'm going to start a thread on SPANKING which I find extremely enjoyable and can be done in a myriad of ways.

 

Boston Bill

[+ Funguy]

Agree…….esp Whipped and his recommendation a while back, Raul. Hope Raul gets out here again soon!

 

Education for others regarding the relationships is also important so others might want to stick their toes in.

 

Always,

Funguy

[whipped guy]

I am happy to hear that there is an interest in more than pictures. I figured all that all most guys were interested in doing were lusting over photos so I stopped posting regarding more serious issues. Doit and I incidentally had a discussion regarding this very situation over the weekend.

 

As an example, a while back I posted a lengthy account (a posting that was so long that it has to be loaded in two segments) about buying floggers and discussed online venues and summaries of the products. I even posted pictures of the various devices along with my detailed descriptions. There were absolutely no responses. Hence I felt that it was a total waste of my time and effort. In the past such postings elicited some great discussions. However, there was zip, zero, nada, assolutamente niente regarding the "pains" that I had taken to share my findings and research on the subject.

 

Consequently, I took that as my cue. Plus I did not want it to seem as if I were pontificating.

 

http://www.companyofmen.org/showthread.php?95859-Buying-a-Flogger!

 

Previous topics from the good old days:

 

http://www.companyofmen.org/showthread.php?93012-Let-s-discuss-flogging!

 

http://www.companyofmen.org/showthread.php?92213-Let%92s-Discuss-BDSM-Techniques!

[+ Funguy]

Perhaps even just buying a flogger might have really been more advance for some, esp. if one is a sub. I think that most need an education of the basics of what it is all about.

[whipped guy]

Perhaps even just buying a flogger might have really been more advance for some, esp. if one is a sub. I think that most need an education of the basics of what it is all about.

Part of my training as a sub indeed involved knowing the differences in floggers and how they reacted... Not to mention other tools of the trade. That is part of "the basics". I wish that I had been given even more instruction regarding those differences as it would have greatly facilitated my journey through the dark side. If the sub has no clue as to what he wants then that results in a potential quagmire of sorts as there must be a meeting of the minds. A well informed sub is a dom's best customer. However, enough of my preaching...

[Bosguy]

Part of my training as a sub indeed involved knowing the differences in floggers and how they reacted... Not to mention other tools of the trade. That is part of "the basics". I wish that I had been given even more instruction regarding those differences as it would have greatly facilitated my journey through the dark side. If the sub has no clue as to what he wants then that results in a potential quagmire of sorts as there must be a meeting of the minds. A well informed sub is a dom's best customer. However, enough of my preaching...

 

One of the first lessons I learned from you. Majority of guys I have played with are generally labeled as doms, but a knowledgeable "sub" can turn the tables really quickly. The best experiences I have had were those where roles are changed frequently during the time together.

 

Thanks for the memories WG

 

Boston Bill

[+ Funguy]

You see, Whipped, that is the info - it's the basics of what the floggers are/do rather than how to buy them. While I'm a sub right now, I do need to learn what they all feel like (and they are very different depending on what they are and who wields them.) My problem is to find the right person to shepherd me through this formative stage and know what to expect.

 

Funguy, always

[whipped guy]

One of the first lessons I learned from you. Majority of guys I have played with are generally labeled as doms, but a knowledgeable "sub" can turn the tables really quickly. The best experiences I have had were those where roles are changed frequently during the time together.

 

Thanks for the memories WG

 

Boston Bill

Bill... My best memories are also of those ever so special situations where there is give and take and roles are reversed. I would guess that we shared at least one or two players in that regard!

 

You see, Whipped, that is the info - it's the basics of what the floggers are/do rather than how to buy them. While I'm a sub right now, I do need to learn what they all feel like (and they are very different depending on what they are and who wields them.) My problem is to find the right person to shepherd me through this formative stage and know what to expect.

 

Funguy, always

Actually, while the thread was superficially about buying bloggers and where one might buy them the main thrust was indeed about the "basics", "what they all feel like", and how they react "depending on what they are and who wields them". It was a continuation of a previous thread on flogging where the different materials and how they are configured were discussed. Plus, as a sub I purchased my first set of foggers early on. Every good Boy Scout needs to be prepared and it is not a bad idea to have one's own toys when hiring as often escorts can't travel with all of their own equipment. I also covered how to make things practical for those who must travel with their "utensils". I even alluded to the mistakes that I made regarding size and length. I even mentioned which toys can be gentile and which can be lethal. So in the end the posting was indeed geared not only to a more advanced player, but also to those in their "formative" stages with the goal of discussing a series of toys that would allow for an interesting, safe, and varied workout session.

 

Of course you are indeed correct, the biggest dilemma is finding that perfect partner who is teacher, mentor, and soul mate. A person in whom you can place your absolute trust. That is the difficult part and while such an ideal person can be theoretically described, it takes meetings of bodies, souls, and minds for that ideal actually to be achieved... Food for thought...