An Escort not Disclosing a Contagious Medical Condition

[Guest Tristan]

Dear Fellow Members,

 

I hired an escort who has been reviewed on this site, and who advertises on this site. One of this escort's best features, according to the reviews, is that he is a great kisser. So one of the things to which I looked forward was kissing with him. Very soon after he arrived, it was apparent that he had oral herpes. There was the remnant of a big sore on his lip. Did he think I wouldn't see it? When asked about it, the escort said that he was in remission and that what was visible was just a scar. (It is true that if you are in remission, you are at least non-contagious.) I had no way of telling whether he was being honest or not.

 

True or not true, I immediately lost my interest in kissing him at all. This contributed to a tense, less enjoyable, and disappointing experience. I had never had this happen with anyone before, escort or date, and would have needed time beforehand to adjust to the idea. It also bothered me that the escort flippantly said that "everyone has herpes", so it was not even an issue. Herpes (aka cold sores) is highly contagious, very unsightly, and incurable. Further, oral herpes can infect a partner's genital area, and vica versa. While it is true that many people do have oral (or genital) herpes, I don't, and I don't care to have it.

 

Questions: How would you react if an escort arrived as I described? Should the escort have warned me about it in advance, so I had the option of cancelling? What do you think of his brushing it aside as irrelevant because "everyone has it"? Has anyone has a similiar experience with an escort? Any other thoughts or comments about disclosing this sort of thing before meeting the client? I would very much appreciate your opinions on these issues.

 

Thank you,

 

Tristan

[Guest JON1265]

>It also bothered me that

>the escort flippantly said that "everyone has herpes", so it

>was not even an issue. Herpes (aka cold sores) is highly

>contagious, very unsightly, and incurable.

 

Well, cold sores ARE curable - they do take some time, though. I get them when I am stressed out or in the sun too long. They can pop up ANY time thouhg. I did not start getting them until I was over 30. You can take Zovirax (over the counter) or a new cream called Abreve (very expensive) that I personally have not used. Genital herpes and Cold sores ARE different types of herpes.

 

 

>Questions: How would you react if an escort arrived as I

>described? Should the escort have warned me about it in

>advance, so I had the option of cancelling? What do you think

>of his brushing it aside as irrelevant because "everyone has

>it"?

 

That aside - he should have told you - if not outright cancelled. If I was a client who had one - I would have cancelled.

 

 

Has anyone has a similiar experience with an escort? Any

>other thoughts or comments about disclosing this sort of thing

>before meeting the client? I would very much appreciate your

>opinions on these issues.

>

>Thank you,

 

I once hired the pornstar Steve Maverick thru Premiere Escorts a LONG time ago. He showed up at my house with a huge black eye he got from playing softball. I was never told - and on top of that he was a lousy escort. I should have cancelled - I did call and they offered to give me a half-off my next hire. I don't think I hired for years after that - so I never took advanyage of my half off. I assume their are expiratioin dates on those sorts of things.

 

JMTC

Jon

[FrancoDiSantisxxx]

Full Disclosure

 

Herpes may be transmitted when lession are not visible. There are two stages: asymptomatic viral shedding and subclinical shedding.

 

Genital herpes are not the same thing as cold sores. For accurate, up to date information, everyone can go to this site:

 

http://www.herpes.com/

 

as well as:

 

http://www.herpes.org/

 

As for your question, of course the escort should have disclosed in advance if he intended to go through the session. In your situation, IMHO, the escort should have cancelled the session in advance. Stating "everyone" has herpes, even were it true, does not exempt an individual from exercising personal, moral and ethical responsibility to anyone else, whether they be escorts or simply sexually active gay men. Unfortunately, we live in a time where not everyone acts in this manner.

[Guest roger]

RE: An Escort not Disclosing a Contagious Medical Condi...

 

Okay... go to http://www.coldsore.com to get some basic information about the herpes virus.

 

Under no circumstances should you kiss or have oral contact of any kind with someone who has an active, or healing outbreak. You can, and likely WILL catch the virus (it's extremely contagious), and your first time will be quite a doozy, too---and that's only if he gives them to you on your mouth. You can also catch a form of genital herpes from the cold sore virus that is completely different from Herpes Simplex #2. You can also catch a form of the virus in your fingers as well, so always wash your hands if you touch an active cold sore.

 

If you do happen to have the virus, I cannot recommend Valtrex more highly. It's expensive, but much more effective than Zovirax, Abreva, or Denavir. And, you should also take a lysine supplement daily, avoid tanning beds (ultraviolet can aggravate it) and avoid certain foods that contain an amino acid called argenine, which is necessary for the virus to replicate.

 

R

[Guest Tristan]

RE: An Escort not Disclosing a Contagious Medical Condi...

 

JON, thanks very much for taking the time to reply to my post. I think we have a case of semantics here. You say that cold sores ARE curable. I believe you mean the symptoms can be treated until they go away. The virus itself is never curable. It retreats into the nerves until the next outbreak. Refer to the other replies to this post and the links included in those replies for confirmaton. Thanks again. Tristan

[bigguyinpasadena]

RE: An Escort not Disclosing a Contagious Medical Condi...

 

I have suffered from Bells Palsy(about 15 years ago)which is a form of a herpes virus which gets into your facial muscles.I have since taken a lysine suplement everyday and have not had a recurance since.This is really fortunate on my part since Bells' attacks alternate sides of the face and increases in severity.So I do think there are many more herpes sufferers out there-they are just not aware of it.Just had a woman with neuralgia/shingles(anouther form of herpes)die,what a horrible death complicated by constant pain.Take your lysine boys.

[Guest Tristan]

RE: An Escort not Disclosing a Contagious Medical Condi...

 

I have looked at all the Web Sites mentioned including:

 

http://www.coldsore.com

http://www.herpes.com

http://www.herpes.org

 

All of the above sites were helpful, and I appreciate the leads.

 

IMHO, the very best Web Site for all gay health and STD questions is:

 

http://www.gayhealth.com

 

Dr. Stephen Goldstone, a well known gay authority and author on gay health issues, has an excellent article on herpes on the above site. He also provides very informative and direct answers to other STD questions. I was once in an online chat with Dr. Goldstone. People asked just about everything you can imagine about gay health. His answers were amazingly candid.

 

I have learned quite a bit from this unfortunate episode, including the following specific information on herpes:

 

. Herpes is still contagious even in the healing stage. There is no scarring as the escort stated. The last stage leaves a pink or reddish area on the lip in the case of oral herpes. A person with herpes should not have sexual contact until the skin appears completely normal.

 

. You can catch herpes even if the infected person is asymptomatic and in complete remission. If you don't believe this, check out the web sites above.

 

It is disconcerting that an escort on this site could be so ignorant of his own highly contagious medical condition. It is equally disconcerting that he could act so unethicly toward his clients.

 

Fortunately, the incubation period is long past, and there are no signs that the escort infected me.

[VaHawk]

RE: An Escort not Disclosing a Contagious Medical Condi...

 

>True or not true, I immediately lost my interest in kissing

>him at all. This contributed to a tense, less enjoyable, and

>disappointing experience.

 

So, can I then assume that this means that you went ahead with the appointment? If so, why?

 

>Questions: How would you react if an escort arrived as I

>described? Should the escort have warned me about it in

>advance, so I had the option of cancelling? What do you think

>of his brushing it aside as irrelevant because "everyone has

>it"? Has anyone has a similiar experience with an escort? Any

>other thoughts or comments about disclosing this sort of thing

>before meeting the client? I would very much appreciate your

>opinions on these issues.

 

If I was as concerned and putoff as you say you we're then I would cancel the appointment, with no compensation and would be blunt and truthful as to why I was doing so.

 

I don't think the escort should have told you in advance, because that is none of your business. But I mean that only in the sense that he should have cancelled, not that he should have shown up in that condition without telling you. For him to have done so, is really inexcusable and you have every right to be upset about it.

I wonder what his reaction would have been if you were the infected one?

[Guest Tristan]

RE: An Escort not Disclosing a Contagious Medical Condi...

 

Yes, I went ahead with the appointment. Vahawk, you're absolutely right. I should have sent him packing without compensation. I am a very logical and rationale person. However, when sex is involved, we don't always act logically. What can I say? I'm only human, and humans make mistakes. (He is very cute and has a nice body.) Temptation won over rational thinking. First of all, I was afraid the escort could get violent if I sent him packing without compensation. He had gone the extra mile to get transportation to do an outcall for me. I am a non-violent person and have a slight build.

 

Second, I was completely caught off guard and was unable to quickly react to the situation. I had been looking forward to seeing him for a week and was really psyched for the session. I hadn't used an escort for years due to bad past experiences, and I thought I had carefully chosen a good one. I made the mistake of believing him that he was totally non-contagious. Third, I didn't know the protocol for a situation like this. For example, do you pay him nothing, half, etc.? So I spent the whole session uncomfortable. Matters were complicated by the fact that other things had gone wrong. The escort had been less than truthful about other non-health related matters. This made things worse. By the time I was able to rationally and emotionally react to the situation, the session was over and he was gone.

 

Again, you're right. He should have cancelled the session, giving some nonspecific explanation about a medical problem.

 

If anything like this ever happens again, I would definitely send the escort packing without compensation.

[Guest CODY NYC STAR]

i have to say, that what he was talking about was a small red mark on my face that was appearent due to the tanning bed, i was in earlier that morning. every time i tan the scar becomes visable. its a scar from a cold sore i had many months before i saw this client.

keyword "many months" prior to seeing this guy.

[LovesYng]

>i have to say, that what he was talking about was a small red

>mark on my face that was appearent due to the tanning bed, i

>was in earlier that morning. every time i tan the scar becomes

>visable. its a scar from a cold sore i had many months before

>i saw this client.

>keyword "many months" prior to seeing this guy.

 

Hey what about the spider bite on the inner leg some months ago

 

When in doubt I whip it out:+

[Guest Tristan]

RE: An Escort not Disclosing a Contagious Medical Condi...

 

>i have to say, that what he was talking about was a small red

>mark on my face that was appearent due to the tanning bed, i

>was in earlier that morning. every time i tan the scar becomes

>visable. its a scar from a cold sore i had many months before

>i saw this client.

>keyword "many months" prior to seeing this guy.

 

The cold sore was on his lower lip. Oral herpes is usually on the lip. There is no such thing as scarring from herpes. A red area exists in the latter stages after the blister is gone, and eventually the skin appears completely normal. Until the skin is completely normal, there is still a significant risk of contracting the virus, though much less than in the blister stage. This information is available on all the referenced Web Sites and from the CDC. I wish I had known this before.

[Guest]

RE: An Escort not Disclosing a Contagious Medical Condi...

 

>i have to say, that what he was talking about was a small red

>mark on my face that was appearent due to the tanning bed, i

>was in earlier that morning. every time i tan the scar becomes

>visable. its a scar from a cold sore i had many months before

>i saw this client.

>keyword "many months" prior to seeing this guy.

 

Well, scars, by definition, are visible all the time. If it comes and goes, it's not a scar (although scars may become more visible when one is tan or not). Herpes viruses do tend to come out when exposed to ultraviolet light (i.e. tanning beds). I suspect that applying zinc oxide cream over the area where the herpes breaks out would minimize the chance of the herpes recurring.

That being said, the vast majority of adults have become infected by the time they're 21. Most probably have one original outbreak and never have any recurrences. I myself had one outbreak at the age of 18, and never had any recurrences. If the original poster is worried, he should ask his doctor for an HSV-1 antibody test (NOT HIV-1), and that will tell him for sure whether he's already been exposed to HSV-1 (the usual cause of oral herpes).

The only reason I probably had my first (and only) cold sore so late in life is that my mother made me promise never to share bottles, glasses, cups, or canteens with anyone else (even in summer camp). Then when I turned 18 and went to college, I started dating (guys). In my medical school class of 120 or so, every single one of us had antibodies to HSV-1. (Most people do not get recurrences with oral herpes, although the few that do ensure that everyone gets infected eventually).

If you're going to get freaked out about catching something from an escort (and there certainly are health concerns when having sex with an escort), oral herpes is probably not the disease to get freaked out about. You probably already have a bunch of happy HSV-1 viruses quietly living in one of your face's ganglia (nerve clusters).

And, for God's sake, it's spelled "visible." What is it about escorts and the inability to spell the words "visible," "definite," and so forth? x(

[Guest Tristan]

RE: An Escort not Disclosing a Contagious Medical Condi...

 

Unicorn, thanks for providing the medical information. You may be, or may have been a doctor. However, the CDC disagrees with you. They say the test is UNRELIABLE. Second, I think you are missing the point. An escort should not show up with a large red sore on his lip (not the face, as the escort stated.) He should CANCEL the appointment. It's a big turn off to see this on an escort, especially when you're psyched for a relaxed session of pleasure. This issue seems to have gotten lost, but was well addressed by the initial replies to this thread. The consensus was that I should have sent him packing.

 

Of course, there are other very serious STDs of concern, and you take whatever precautions you feel are necessary. In this case, there was a visible and definite medical problem. When you know someone definitely has a contagious STD, you're going to be more upset than you would be about all the possible things he (and all of us) could have and transmit to others. For example, IMHO, the only sane way to deal with the HIV issue is to assume that everyone is positive and practice safer sex. You can't believe what people tell you. Second, even if someone shows you proof that he recently tested negative, it is meaningless. He could have had sex with a positive partner the day after the test.