Arpad would have been 46 today....

[Okliehomo]

Still hard to believe he is gone.

 

So lucky to have met him. One of a kind, for sure.

 

Greatly missed.

 

Okie

[Guest verymarried]

Never knew him but these are wonderful words of respect. This kind of remembrance represents, I believe, a man's heaven.

[jojo307]

I do not mean to be offensive, but has there been any concrete information about the reason for his action? I met him once several year ago and I thought he was a really good man.

[+ Axiom2001]

never knew him but these are wonderful words of respect. This kind of remembrance represents, i believe, a man's heaven.

 

ditto!

[tyro]

I can't remember which site posted an article about Arpad's helping a client get treatment for alcoholism. (I think it was the Advocate.) Anyway, that story still makes me teary-eyed. I wish I could have met him.

T

[Steven_Draker]

I do not mean to be offensive, but has there been any concrete information about the reason for his action?

 

"There isn’t much known about Arpad Miklos’s suicide, — even close friend Randall Lynch says he was shocked when he found him Sunday night. But a note that Miklos left may shed some light on one cause of his depression: trolls. And if we’re smart, it also gives us a way to help prevent this in the future. A decent proposal, after the jump …

 

In addition to instructions as to what to do with his body, Miklos wrote that he knew, even in death, he’d be attacked. “Haters can hate,” he wrote in his suicide note. He brushed it off.

 

For a gay community outraged at our own bullying, maybe it’s time we look in the mirror at how we treat our own. The gay porn industry may not have killed Arpad Miklos, but we porn ‘fans’ might have.

 

Porn stars maybe brave, but they’re not robots. And if you’re dealing with other self-worth issues — around sexuality, age, looks, whatever — reading outrageously vicious comments that echo your own terrible insecurities might just be deadly. The trope of the basement troll calling someone ugly or fat or small-dicked gets laughed off in public by stars — but those words have consequences. Arpad was loved by a lot of people, and helped a lot of people come to terms with their sexuality. It’s sad that even in death he felt he had to address the people who attacked him in life.

 

Did nasty comments alone cause Roman Ragazzi’s depression? Erik Rhodes’ drug problem? Josh Weston’s body issues? No. Did they help?

 

As bloggers, I think it’s time we do a better job managing trolls. As a policy in the past, we’ve only removed the libelous, the racist, or the downright evil. But vicious, unconstructive attacks on people’s looks? From now on, leave it elsewhere. Or better yet — don’t leave it at all."

 

Mike @ http://gaypornblog.com/arpad-miklos-suicide.html

 

 

May he R.I.P.

[Decatur Guy]

First of all, those are kind words about the man. I never met him, but I had always wanted to hire him.

 

To me, he was the epitome of ubermasculinity: Rock-solid muscled, handsome, seemingly at ease with his manliness and a top who took charge of a fuck like nobody's business. What didn't he see in himself that was so readily apparent to an outsider observer?

 

I've always had a difficult time wrapping my mind around this: You're an escort. People PAY YOU to have sex. And pay you HANDSOMELY too. That means you've got to have something pretty powerful going on -- call it good looks, sexual magnetism, charisma. Whatever it is -- you've got it.

 

Meanwhile, there's me: Face and especially back pitted with acne scars from my teen years, never was able to put on any muscle, a face only a mother could love. And as I've aged, I now can't flattened my stomach even though I watch what I eat and regularly walk. So I'm even losing the few things I had going for me. But I've found a way to be relatively happy with life and about myself despite what have been obvious shortcomings now being accelerated by aging.

 

I'll flat-out say it: I've always been envious of naturally handsome, athletic, sexually charismatic men. To me, guys like that -- on the surface -- seem to have it all. I have to work so hard just to maintain the paltry hand I was dealt.

 

So I guess it initially always amazes me to discover that someone of whom I'm envious potentially had body issues, even mentally cripplingly ones that would leave them vulnerable to attack. I always assumed if I were a fine specimen like Arpad, I'd just be able to easily laugh off any attacks and just sail through life, confident in myself, my presentation and how people received me. After all, I've had to learned to cope with a whole lot less going for me.

 

Now I realize we're complex creatures and our looks/athleticism/sexual aura are hardly the end all and be all of existence. Intelligence, personality, life's circumstances, mental health, the chemical balance in our brains and a host of other issues all play a role in who we are, how we feel about ourselves and our outlook for our lives.

 

But our looks/athleticism/sexual aura are one big, important slice of it. And amongst gay people, it might even be a bigger slice.

 

Anyway, I think I'm starting to ramble and not even being entirely coherent. For someone I never met, his decision about suicide has weighed on me quite a bit and has just left me wondering how someone like him could come to that point. It just goes to show there's so much more going on behind those surfaces that I'm often so envious of.

 

Anyway, I hope that despite his decision to end his life, that some parts of it brought him joy and happiness. By all accounts, he was a good person and deserved that much.