What to Do When Things Go Wrong From the Start

[markpaul]

Earlier this month I was visiting NYC as a tourist. Whenever, I make it to NYC, I make it a point to hook up with one or two of its fine male escorts. I do my homework--check out guys on the 3 major escort sites, check out reviews at Daddys and M4RN, and make inquiries at this forum. I chose 2 guys to see during my time in NYC. The first guy was great and was everything he advertised and all that we discussed. I am going to write a review on him soon. However, the other guy advertised as a man whose strength was providing a boyfriend experience. I even made sure that we both were talking about the same thing when we discussed a "boyfriend experience". I got to his place and within 5 minutes I knew that he wasn't going to provide the experience we agreed upon. My question is--What do you do when this happens? I wanted to get up, get dressed, and leave right then, but we were both naked and it was an all around awkward situation. He was all about me taking care of his needs and there was no romance (I am a big time romantic.) I finished the session, paid his fee, and left 40 minutes later.

 

The guy had to know that he wasn't providing what we agreed upon. He has 3 or 4 good reviews at Daddys. Were they fake reviews? What do you do?

[N13]

Write a review and name names. It will be a help to all of us. Thanks.

[markpaul]

I may well write a reply. My question is how do I tactfully or otherwise get out of the situation. Has anybody else on the forum had a similar situation? What did you do?

[fosterchow]

Yes, and I am sure it has happened to all of us. Just say, "This isn't working out", pay him some money, and leave. There's no point in trying to make a dead cow moo.

[jon1265]

Oh my god, I had this same thing happen to me just last night. I will write a review about him, but I ended the session because I was so angry. It did not end well.

[+ azdr0710]

sounds like you did everything right before the meeting.....communication is always the most important thing and you certainly did that, according to your post....did you also speak up AT the meeting as it was spiraling downward?....a friendly little reminder of the plan?....if a reminder doesn't seem to move him to improve, just politely say it's not what you had planned and leave, prorating the fee (if he doesn't protest)....yes, an impartial review is appropriate here

[bigvalboy]

sounds like you did everything right before the meeting.....communication is always the most important thing and you certainly did that, according to your post....did you also speak up AT the meeting as it was spiraling downward?....a friendly little reminder of the plan?....if a reminder doesn't seem to move him to improve, just politely say it's not what you had planned and leave, prorating the fee (if he doesn't protest)....yes, an impartial review is appropriate here

 

 

Exactly how I would have handled it. Be honest, say it isn't working, pay a portion of the fee, and make your exit....In fairness, his intent might have been to provide the bf experience, but the chemistry wasn't there. A professional might have gotten past that, but not all escorts can.

[+ Axiom2001]

Earlier this month I was visiting NYC as a tourist. Whenever, I make it to NYC, I make it a point to hook up with one or two of its fine male escorts. I do my homework--check out guys on the 3 major escort sites, check out reviews at Daddys and M4RN, and make inquiries at this forum. I chose 2 guys to see during my time in NYC. The first guy was great and was everything he advertised and all that we discussed. I am going to write a review on him soon. However, the other guy advertised as a man whose strength was providing a boyfriend experience. I even made sure that we both were talking about the same thing when we discussed a "boyfriend experience". I got to his place and within 5 minutes I knew that he wasn't going to provide the experience we agreed upon. My question is--What do you do when this happens? I wanted to get up, get dressed, and leave right then, but we were both naked and it was an all around awkward situation. He was all about me taking care of his needs and there was no romance (I am a big time romantic.) I finished the session, paid his fee, and left 40 minutes later.

 

The guy had to know that he wasn't providing what we agreed upon. He has 3 or 4 good reviews at Daddys. Were they fake reviews? What do you do?

 

"What do you do?" Tell him that things were not working out and pay half or all of his fee and leave. Last month I hired a guy in San Francisco. He came to my hotel room, and during our awkward making out, he "did absolutely nothing for me," so I told him that "this is not working and I'd give him his fee." We both left the bed, dressed, and that was it. I was pissed but tried not to show it. He left and that was that: my mistake and disappointment.

 

We cannot always go on reviews here or from what friends relay about their experience with escorts. Apparently, 'chemistry plays a huge role' in each and every experience. A friend of mine had a stellar experience with an escort, but he was one hell of a friggin' dud with me. Another one was good with the same friend but was so and so with me as well as with a popular West Coast escort who saw him at another time but asked about him prior to their session!

[instudiocity]

....yes, an impartial review is appropriate here

HELL! Make it a totally partisan review.

 

There is no way a reviewer can tell his side of the story IMPARTIALLY!

 

Tell everything you thought, felt, saw and heard from your standpoint. If the escort wants to reply, let him, but get your side of the story out here.

 

(Sorry AZ, but impartial in a review just got my goat.)

[+ azdr0710]

sorry, ISC....I know what you mean....maybe I meant "fair"???...always three sides to every story, you know

[robberbaron4u]

Yet again another reason why I insist upon the "lunch interview" to determine if the prospective "hire" is sympatico to my need; it is far easier to dismiss an undesirable escort in a restaurant than behind closed doors.

[Jscott]

Yet again another reason why I insist upon the "lunch interview" to determine if the prospective "hire" is sympatico to my need; it is far easier to dismiss an undesirable escort in a restaurant than behind closed doors.

 

Well, that's a great idea, but not necessarily for an impulse hire, or a one-hour appointment. Besides, are you paying for his time during lunch, or just his meal?

[+ Hoover42]

Yet again another reason why I insist upon the "lunch interview" to determine if the prospective "hire" is sympatico to my need; it is far easier to dismiss an undesirable escort in a restaurant than behind closed doors.

 

Lunch interview. What a great idea. How do your prospective hires respond to your request for that?

[Griffin Donavon]

Markpaul,

 

Here is my input on this subject, if he had 3-4 reviews it could mean he doesn't understand what boyfriend experience fully means in the m4m industry. I know when I was starting out i thought it meant just having sex, after more experience I later developed a different understanding.. So this was inexperience on his end, you should kindly message him with positive criticism so he can learn.

 

Disappointment is a risk you take in this hobby, I believe it could have been worst friend. Besides everyone has different levels of bfe..

 

Yours truly,

Griffin Donavon

[Bart]

Impartial? Three sides? Fair? To did you voice your displeasure during the outing? Look simple bad time good time write a review and move on. If he cares he will respond. As to other reviews, those the reviewers opinion of their time. No different than a restaurant review, everyone has different experiences. Just because a gentlemen has several good reviews is no guarantee your experience will be the same or better.

[good ol boy]

I remember there was a guy passing through philly, I texted him... his ad said he was vers. I asked if he was ok to be the bottom. He said yes. I said ok. I will bring a bottle of wine, let's have a drink before we relax. I get there, we open the wine get undressed and relax and he asks me what I am into?????? I pulled out my phone to refer to the text message. He said he was not into being the bottom. I GOT UP AND GOT DRESSED. I left the wine. Hind sight being 20/20... I should have taken the wine with me but I did not want to seem cheap.

 

My advice.... LEAVE.

[markpaul]

Thanks a lot guys for your input and your suggestions. I guess the answer to my situation is easy. Just tell the guy things aren't working and offer him part of the money.

 

All of this points to one thing for me. When you find an escort who is so great that you think about your time with him long after it is over, write great reviews for him and be appreciative of how lucky you are. Over the last 5 or 6 years I have been lucky enough to meet some great guys who make me feel like I am a boyfriend.

 

This guy is an amateur and I just had bad luck.

[robberbaron4u]

Personally, I do not hire on impulse; as for the "interview", I offer drinks and lunch, and, on occasion, cocktails and dinner, at my expense, at the restaurant of his choice. If the arrangement is not acceptable to him, I do not take offense in him declining my invitation, and, I move on to the next candidate for play betweenst the sheets.

[+ azdr0710]

as for the "interview", I offer drinks and lunch, and, on occasion, cocktails and dinner, at my expense, at the restaurant of his choice.

 

 

that's a great arrangement, RB, when you can pull it off....I imagine some dudes will refuse it when you wish they would accept....and vice versa!....reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where a friend of theirs purposely lost bets with beautiful girls in return for taking them out to dinner!

[Epigonos]

I follow, essentially, the same pattern of hiring pattern as azdr0710. In eleven years of engaging escorts I have NEVER hired a guy for one hour. I also NEVER hire on impulse. I ALWAYS insist on lunch or dinner (the escort’s choice) and then two hours of play time. I have NEVER had an escort refuse this arrangement although I have had one or two who requested more money than I was willing to pay.

 

I hire ONLY escorts who have excellent reviews on this site, some of, which are written by clients in my age range. Over the years I have NEVER had an experience that was so bad that I felt it necessary to write a negative review. I have, however, had dozens of experiences that were mediocre at best. I have always believed that the fault was as likely mine as it was the escorts – for some reason the chemistry simply wasn’t there and thus I didn’t feel called upon to write a review.

 

With this, rather strange, hobby a mine, my motto has become “Oh well you win some and you lose some”. For me at least, the flip side of the hiring coin is that I have had far, far more wonderful escort experiences. I have had the extreme pleasure of meeting dozens of outstanding individuals with whom I have shared outstanding dining and sexual experiences. For me the key word when it comes to hiring escorts is RESEARCH.

[robberbaron4u]

In my experience, physical beauty is the cheapest commodity in the marketplace of escorts; if one is discerning, and, of course, has patience, a comparable or finer model, which can be had for a "test run" on my own terms and conditions, is always to be found on the car lot down the street.