Married Guys Who Cheat

[corndog]

A while back, I had a very close friendship with a married woman I met through work. It never got sexual, but she shared with me her deepest thoughts and feelings, and talked with me about much more personal stuff than she could with her emotionally distant husband. In retrospect, I think she was cheating on her husband with me, perhaps even more egregiously than if we would have had sex. So, I think in many cases, cheating is not so much about a physical act, but about a personal connection.

[bigvalboy]

I think in many cases, cheating is not so much about a physical act, but about a personal connection.

 

I agree...I had a rather lengthy relationship with a guy who was engaged to a woman, then ultimately married. For him it was how we connected on a personal level. The physical was important, but both the physical and personal connection had to work together. It was this connection with another man that he craved. He always told me that what we did had nothing to do with the love he felt for his fiancé/wife, but the touch and emotions from another male was something that a woman could not duplicate, and he was always emphatic that he was NOT gay or even bi-sexual. I disagreed, but was never able to win the argument over this point.

 

It was the best sex that I have ever had....

[Becket]

Love this thread. My experience and two cents worth remind me that:

 

1. Monogamy is incredibly difficult if not impossible. I also convinced it is NOT the healthiest way for many people to live.

2. If you are married to a woman and see men on the side, your wife will NOT understand or forgive if she finds out accidentally. But there are some "open" marriages where the wife is aware of the extra curricular to begin with.

3. We don't usually have a choice of who we fall for. We love who we love. If it were a choice, I would have never have chosen to fall for one or two of the escorts or friends I've met in my travels. I would have chosen to fall for my wife and never get divorced. But as the saying goes, "I am who I am."

4. At the end of the day, all one can do is accept the love and affection that is available, given one's particular circumstances. Because, finally;

5. Relationships of all kinds are tough. But how do we live without them.......

[tyro]

I'm not sure I buy #2 (I suggested gents for my ex-husband to hire) but 1, 3, 4, and 5 all get an amen from me.

T

Love this thread. My experience and two cents worth remind me that:

 

1. Monogamy is incredibly difficult if not impossible. I also convinced it is NOT the healthiest way for many people to live.

2. If you are married to a woman and see men on the side, your wife will NOT understand or forgive if she finds out accidentally. But there are some "open" marriages where the wife is aware of the extra curricular to begin with.

3. We don't usually have a choice of who we fall for. We love who we love. If it were a choice, I would have never have chosen to fall for one or two of the escorts or friends I've met in my travels. I would have chosen to fall for my wife and never get divorced. But as the saying goes, "I am who I am."

4. At the end of the day, all one can do is accept the love and affection that is available, given one's particular circumstances. Because, finally;

5. Relationships of all kinds are tough. But how do we live without them.......

[marylander1940]

There is a young married guy I met on Craigslist about 3 years ago that I see 2-3 times per year. He is now in his late 20's......married and with children. He is one of the very few real jewels I have met on Criagslist anywhere (most are complete duds). Handsome guy with short blond hair. Nice build and about 8 inches.

 

The location is suburban Detroit and I think he likes my setup which is a hotel in the 'burbs that has a free parking deck in the back from which one can enter directly into the hotel without being seen by anyone on the street. He can come straight up to my room on the elevator without requiring a room key. It's totally discreet. At the time I initially met him I don't think he had much experience hooking up with guys. Our hook-ups have consisted mainly of oral and mostly me doing him (which I am totally OK with). He has a very short window when he can slip in this sort of activity which is between 3:30pm-4:30pm (after work and before he goes home to the family). I normally e-mail him the morning of the day I will be available at the hotel. He responds if he is available or not. (Sometimes yes and sometimes no). If yes, we agree a time, he turns up, immediately strips and hops in the shower to clean off, we play, we cum, and he leaves.......all in about 20 minutes. There is no money exchanged during these encounters BTW.

 

 

So I am in Michigan and I send him an e-mail this morning. He responds back that he is available and would like to bring a buddy that he plays with from time to time. We exchanged a few e-mails to discuss the specifics of what would happen. We agreed a time. They came to my room, showered together, we all played together and they left just now. We all had a good time. Everyone was rock hard and everyone busted a nut. It was a strictly oral encounter for all of us........which is perfectly fine by me.

 

The reason for this thread is as follows: I was quite fascinated with the verbal interaction between them when they came in, during their shower, and after the sex. Both talking about their wives and kids and plans for the summer. I do not think they are friends.....strictly the occasional sex hook-up. Also they were discussing how much time they had before they had to leave. My guy had a max of 25 minutes....his buddy had up to an hour. Interestingly, the buddy commented before the shower that neither should get their hair wet for fear of drawing suspicion from the wives. I was quite surprised how easy it was for them to undertake this activity knowing they are cheating on the wives.......and almost laughing about it. They think carefully about not doing anything (getting hair wet) that will raise any eyebrows with the wife.

 

Did you ever have hookups with married guys? Did anything about it surprise you?

 

Luck you that didn't have to pay for sex with young men, a lot of us on here have to pay for it.

 

If they don't feel guilty about it, why should you?

 

Btw, I'm not implying you are saying you are guilty or anything like it, besides some guys lie online about being straight or married, etc to get more attention and get laid easier, there are still some gay men out there who are more likely to hook up with a guy if he says he's straight, true or not.

 

About craigslist: usually the undesired/unwanted/undoable hook up there. Manhunt and adam4adam are better but you need pics.

[+ Gar1eth]

I can't really add anything since I can't even get anyone with me being single. I was with one guy briefly who was gay and in what he said was an open relationship. I could never figure out the exact degree of openess. I mean was it open as long as his partner knew nothing about it (in reality my friend was cheating), was his partner actually ok with it just didn't want to see hide nor hair of it, or was his partner fully down with it.

 

It was the first time- and almost last time someone was really interested in me for an extended period- but it didn't last long as I moved. I then moved back and we've met a few times- not as many as before. I think most likely because he's found new playmates. I've seen pictures of his partner- I won't say we are doppelgangers but there are a lot of similarities.

 

So in this case since he tells me they are open- it's ok for us for us to play. But even assuming that's true- it makes me feel guilty when we meet. Plus I like the guy for more than f-cking - and would like to see more of him but can't intrude into their life. So me having a regular relationship with someone partnered is not the best thing for me.

 

But for the people in a relationship who are screwing around- I would worry that in some cases it's going to cause a break up in their relationship. I mean obviously the extracurricular stuff is supplying something they lack. What if they grow to need what they lack more and more? While obviously I think. Some people can handle stepping out on their partner without too many consequences ( unless their spouse finds out)- I think with others - they are playing with fire- and may not know it until they start playing around.

 

Gman

[Jaker27]

I was with a married dude last wknd. Nothing out of the unusual till i lost my underwear and boy did he freak out

[bigvalboy]

I was with a married dude last wknd. Nothing out of the unusual till i lost my underwear and boy did he freak out

 

And the details??? Perhaps I should pour myself a drink a grab a cigarette first.

[Jaker27]

And the details??? Perhaps I should pour myself a drink a grab a cigarette first.

Well, I could always lie and think of some of my best married dude experiences. I've had my own share of the OP's experience. However, this one was kind of average out of my married dude encounters. The wife was away on business or something to that effect. He kept showing me her pics and saying how much he'd like to have me over again for her to share too. She was very pretty. He sure knew what to do with a cock is all i can say. Took care of it better then allot of gay men i know. That old saying about the cat being away. Well, the mouse was really hungry :o

[Epigonos]

We have failed to do the one thing necessary to make this thread work. We haven’t defined the word cheat. My guess is that the reason we haven’t is that it simply isn’t possible to do so. Each of us has in our own mind a definition of the word yet any attempt to achieve unanimity would be totally fruitless. I firmly believe that if at the end of the day I can live with my actions then all is well. It is irrelevant to me that someone, who has never lived in my shoes, disagrees. I cannot and will not judge someone else regarding this matter and I will not respect their judgment of me if they choose to do so.

[bigvalboy]

He sure knew what to do with a cock is all i can say. Took care of it better then allot of gay men i know. That old saying about the cat being away. Well, the mouse was really hungry :o

 

Say no more..lol...That's more than I could accomplish. So from 3 thousand miles away, I raise my glass of Bombay tonic to you and fantasize about the moment.

[Diverdan]

Epigonos,

I heartily agree with you. I have a very hard time dealing with the word "cheat" as it is so prejorative and judgemental. A long time ago in my life when I first realized I was atrracted to men, but did nothing about it, I realized that there were so many variations on what people did, said, how they behaved and what their individual circumstances were, that I decided that what ever they felt and wanted to do was their business and NOT MINE. I have been with married guys, guys who were gay and in committed relationships, guys who were married and who divorced their wives and were very unhappy, guys who divorced their wives and both the wives and the men were very happy and knew all about their situations, some had kids that they never saw again, and others who maintained wonderful, supportive relationships with their kids after they moved in with another guy. I know guys who are partners with another man who have adopted children and are marvelous parents, but who still explore other situations. I don't judge and to me the word "cheat" is demeaning when one considers all of the potential relationships that can occur. "To LOVE and TO CHERISH until death do us part" permits a lot variations, and as a christian, I believe that there is only one major commandment, and that is to love thy neighbor as thy self... and Jesus never condemmed any person that he met, as far as I can tell from reading and studying the Bible. So, let's try to put ourselves in the other person's shoes before judging them.

[MalcomXpark]

I can't really add anything since I can't even get anyone with me being single. I was with one guy briefly who was gay and in what he said was an open relationship. I could never figure out the exact degree of openess. I mean was it open as long as his partner knew nothing about it (in reality my friend was cheating), was his partner actually ok with it just didn't want to see hide nor hair of it, or was his partner fully down with it.

 

It was the first time- and almost last time someone was really interested in me for an extended period- but it didn't last long as I moved. I then moved back and we've met a few times- not as many as before. I think most likely because he's found new playmates. I've seen pictures of his partner- I won't say we are doppelgangers but there are a lot of similarities.

 

So in this case since he tells me they are open- it's ok for us for us to play. But even assuming that's true- it makes me feel guilty when we meet. Plus I like the guy for more than f-cking - and would like to see more of him but can't intrude into their life. So me having a regular relationship with someone partnered is not the best thing for me.

 

But for the people in a relationship who are screwing around- I would worry that in some cases it's going to cause a break up in their relationship. I mean obviously the extracurricular stuff is supplying something they lack. What if they grow to need what they lack more and more? While obviously I think. Some people can handle stepping out on their partner without too many consequences ( unless their spouse finds out)- I think with others - they are playing with fire- and may not know it until they start playing around.

 

Gman

 

[video=youtube;IJ_R-G_i4Xk]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJ_R-G_i4Xk&list=FLagr2KUJb9LOhykDC5xxtyg&index=3

[want2bwrestled]

Cant thank you enough man. The support here is just amazing.

[+ Gar1eth]

[video=youtube;IJ_R-G_i4Xk]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJ_R-G_i4Xk&list=FLagr2KUJb9LOhykDC5xxtyg&index=3

 

Obviously a mature and well thought out response. It's no wonder so many people have left the Forum if this is the drecht(dreck) we are going to have to put up with.

 

Gman