BDSM in LA

[Leftcoaster]

Hi guys -

 

While I am an active viewer of these forums, I have only recently registered.

 

I first want to say that I have picked up invaluable information/insight from the regular contributors on this site. I would like to express my gratitude for all the information that you put out there. For those of us that are shy, intimidated, and/or late bloomers - the information you generously share is very much appreciative. And does make a difference. At least I can say so speaking for myself.

 

This fetish forum has been of particular interest to me as I am seeking to explore my submissive side. I've yet to get out there and explore- been nervous for all sorts of reasons. But in my ripe early 40s - I don't know why I keep waiting. It's not like my desires are diminishing. So I am wondering if anyone has any suggestions for some good guys in LA that are BDSM doms?

 

In a perfect world - I'd love to submit to a guy that is younger than me. Not an age discrimination thing. In my career, I oversee lots of younger guys. And the role reversal seems to be a necessary element for me.

 

Loss of control to another guy that flaunts his control over me is a huge element to me. It's the mind game that I think dominates (no pun intended) the entire tone of the scene. Within the establishment of the dos/dont's - I think the point of the handing over the power is that the dom then gets to play the scene out the way he see fit is - which is what forces a control freak like me to have no choice but to let go and just be present.

 

Outside of some electro gear that I use alone, I am not at all experienced. So I'm like a kid in a candy store with big eyes that wants to eat everything but doesn't actually know what I will like and will not like. Definitely like the idea of cbt, bondage, restraint, electro, predicament positions, etc. And it's definitely not a sexual thing for me per se. It's the headspace first and foremost that appeals to me. Yes - it's a turn on - but it's not at all about sex for me.

 

Sorry for a way-too-long email - but didn't want to just say "hey - any LA suggestions" without offering some detail.

 

And again - I love the forums and greatly appreciate all that I've learned.

[whipped guy]

Leftcoaster... Welcome and glad you decided to officially join. Great first posting. The details in your post will certainly help the west coast contingent give you some good advice.

 

In any event you seem to fit a certain profile. You oversee younger guys and as a headspace thing need some sort of role reversal. Lots if BDSM subs fit a similar profile, control freaks with many being in positions of power or at least have jobs that give them a certain aura of authority.

 

I only wish I knew about the LA area to give you some advice. I'm not familiar with any BDSM clubs in your area, but as noted in another thread that might be an option to get the ball rolling if only simply to observe at first and speak with some experts. I reall seeing the now infamous Master Avery at a club years ago when he was in the learning stages getting advice and instruction from a resident Dom. We all gave to begin somewhere.

 

All I can say is take the plunge... but only when you feel comfortable and with someone who is responsible... and even though you feel the need to be submissive the end result will make you feel as though you have just conquered the world. Just do enough research do that you are with the right person who can work with an eager newbie such as yourself. Hopefully someone who has the setup and equipment to give you a variety of experiences so as to best direct you to the various aspects if this exciting work you will be exploring. All I can say is you will quickly shed any shyness that you may be harboring. This will turn you into a superhero.

 

Damn this is going to be one hell of an adventure for you. Reminds me of how my mindset was way back when. I was that kid in the candy store as well. Shoot! I can relate to that... and you will want to try almost every possibility at least once and then eventually figure out that which rocks you the most. Here's wishing you all the best of luck!!!

 

So all you West-coasters get to work to make sure that our new bud leftcoaster has the time of his life!!

[Businessguy]

In from the outside!

 

I'm not sure there are any obvious choices in LA for what you are seeking. There is a new guy on the scene named Lief who has recently had a couple of good reviews. I do not have any personal experience with him. However, I would contact any of the escorts who advertise as Doms that appeal to you. It seems nearly all of them travel to LA on a fairly regular basis which should give you the opportunity to meet them without having to foot the cost of travel all by yourself. Ace from Las Vegas, David-SF now in Palm Springs, Nick German in NY, Tyger in Portland would all be good guys except they are a bit older than what you are seeking. However, I would go with experience over youth, especially if you are still figuring out what you like. These men are all very intuitive. You won't have to spell it out. They know what to do!

[ErieBear]

Ace from Vegas is absolutely AMAZING. I can not say enough good things about him.

[whipped guy]

Since Business guy and Erie gave suggestions from out of the LA area, I will also suggest Raul G. Manzo (based in Chicago) who occasionally visits the LA area. I know of nobody currently active who knows more about all the various aspects of BDSM and would also have the equipment, patience, and know how to work with an eager novice. Unfortunately, those with whom I have been acquainted in the LA area are no longer active.

 

Regarding Businessguy's out of town suggestions, I have been with two and have heard good things about the others. I also concur with Buisnessguy that at least at this stage you should be looking for experience as opposed to someone who would be more in your idealized age range of bring a bit younger.

[buzz]

Hey Leftcoaster,

Welcome to Fetish Forum and also to the wonderful world of BDSM! I too was a late bloomer in BDSM and though I am older than you, I am thoroughly enjoying going deeper and deeper into kink. Since several posters have suggested some fine BDSM escorts, might I suggest that you check out Rentboy and Rentmen, doing a search for BDSM and/or Domination. LA does have some fine Doms advertising. Starting with a professional will most likely give you the sense of safety and security we need as we first venture into this specialty.

Enjoy!

[Adam_6969]

Leftcoaster, welcome to this forum. You are never too old to start experiencing new and exciting erotic enjoyment. You say "And it's definitely not a sexual thing for me per se. It's the headspace first and foremost that appeals to me. Yes - it's a turn on - but it's not at all about sex for me." You see your curiosity as a "headspace issue." I think that is great since erotic experiences are best when it is happening in your head. If it happens there, believe me, there will be very positive indicators of your experience elswhere. There have been some excellent suggestions of escorts to possibly hire: David-SF, Tyger, etc. To this list I would like to add Tom Isern in NY. All these guys travel around a bit so check them out. I was in your place, headspace, years ago. I finally took the plunge and haven't looked back.

[Adam_6969]

Leftcoaster, just thought of another excellent Dom for a first time experience - Master Jeff. He has several excellent reviews on Daddys. I don't recall his age so he may not be younger than you. To gain some experience, you might consider keeping the "sub to younger" fantasy in the background and seek Doms who have known credentials and will lead you safely to where you want to go and at your own pace. Just some additional thoughts.

[Leftcoaster]

Hi Guys. I apologize for not responding to you sooner. I had to leave town for what became an extended business trip.

 

First and foremost - thank you for the encouragement and the support to "take the plunge". I live a rather vanilla life and work in a conservative business and do not have anyone I am comfortable discussing these desires with. Having a place to do so, and to receive great feedback, is truly appreciated.

 

I've given much thought to this since even before my initial post. Something that several of you mentioned - the idea of starting out with a more seasoned person rather than a younger one does make sense. My biggest concern of a younger person - aside from the fantasy of course - is the experience level - and the increased risk to safe experiences. The last thing I'd want would be a first experience that went wrong that would kill my desire to explore something that I think could be very liberating in so many ways. I am still wrestling with that issue. As they say, it's easy to let the little head do all the thinking. And in this space in particular, I want to make sure my first experience is with someone that makes sense and not the one that turns me on the most.

 

I will definitely research the names you all suggested. And thank you for those suggestions. I've looked at some of the CL listings - and I'm going to let common sense prevail and not go there (at least not for new experiences). One other thing I am considering is going to an LA Group - like So Cal Bondage club. I think it could be a good place to just meet some people. Though I am nervous about just showing up to a meeting. But I guess everyone had a first time, right? If anyone has any experience with a local group - please PM me or respond to this thread. Definitely interested in any information any of you might be able to share.

 

Thank you all for your support and advice!

[Adam_6969]

Nervousness is natural, part of the process of "taking the plunge," and can be a real enhancement to the overall excitement and erotic thrill you are seeking. I don't know anything about the So Cal Bondage Club but that sounds like a good place to start. Otherwise, for your first experience I strongly encourage you to consider Master Jeff. He has many very positive reviews here. I visited him several years back and can guarantee you that you will have an incredible experience with him. It would be well worth the trip to SF. If you decide to do this, don't be shy sharing with him you expectations, fantasies, etc.

[raulgmanzo]

... I am considering is going to an LA Group - like So Cal Bondage club. I think it could be a good place to just meet some people. Though I am nervous about just showing up to a meeting. But I guess everyone had a first time, right?...

 

A bondage club can be a great place to start. In my experience at a variety of bondage clubs I've found that the serious players and members are very nice, knowledgable, responsible and do a generally very good job at making a newbie feel welcome and safe.

 

Clubs and their events and play parties do vary quite a bit on if they are more free form or guided.

Some are more dark anything goes, in those I would recommend just going to watch and not letting yourself get tied up.

But others are well lit, with a dungeon master who makes sure noone is in deper than their comfort level.

Some clubs have a rule that ANYONE can stop a scene if he feels it is dangerous, or nonconsensual etc.

 

Sometimes it can be good to go to an event with a friend or trusted escort with the idea being that they enforce your limits.

I've a few regular clients who really get into this kind of scene. It can make for a good mix of spontaneity and safety.

This can be done explicity or more discretely, sometimes it works into a very hot role play that others may or may not have any idea is happening.

[Guest boiworship08]

I have trained a few very early 20's guys in the arts of domination and verbal humiliation. The two or three I see don't advertise and are really sweet when not in the role. I'll see if they'd be interested.

[satxguy]

I just had my first experience with an escort doing a Dom/sub BDSM scenario. The Legendary Dave in Washington DC was an excellent first time experience. He listened carefully to what I was interested in and provided me a safe atmosphere to satisfy my curiosity about BDSM. Tyger and Master Jeff are on my bucket list also and if I ever get out to the west coast, I will definately try them. If you have an opportunity to see Dave, he is well worth it.

[Leftcoaster]

I've looked through the suggestions and again thank you all for your advice. I guess the irony of finally being ready to explore is that the ones I seem most drawn to are not SoCal-based.

 

Raul - if you ever plan a trip to LA, please let me know. And if I find I'm headed your way, I'll do the same.

 

Avatar11 - if you get further info on the guys in LA you mentioned - please PM the info to me.

 

Thanks again to all of you for taking the time to hook me up for some info.

[Leftcoaster]

Sorry. I meant to ask in my last post-What do you think of Recon as a site for meeting others that share this interest?

[ErieBear]

Be really, really careful on Recon. There's a TON of advanced players on there. Some are good, some are not so good. I do have a friend in Ventura California who is into BDSM, but he's not a pro. He also doesn't do any anal sex. Let me know if you want me to set you up.