My Assistant

[citylaw1]

My assistant is 4'10", 205lbs, parents from El Salvador, and loves black dick in the ass. She really deserves to be fired for poor work performance, however, I love her and can definitely be sued for:

 

1. She is really from Burbank, CA (parents from El Salvador), however, I call her Mexican and have introduced her as such repeatedly over 3 years.

 

2. I wrote and choreographed a song for her to sing titled "Throw It Into My Dumper." In this song, Marilyn sings "throw it into my dumper baby" as the background thugs follow with "it do be the way she likes it." This scenario repeats itself with little to no other lyrics to follow. Marilyn has performed this is many bars after threatening to fire her while reeking of Bacardi.

 

3. I offer Marilyn days off and cash constantly for dressing up to amuse me. This past Halloween she wore an Oompa Loompa costume that I purchased.

 

4. Most recently I wrote a new song titled "Look At That Midget With Daisy Dukes On."

 

5. She has met nearly all of the escorts that I've fucked. In that I never have cash, and often hire last minute, Marilyn has sent cash to my apartment on 2 occasions to cover my lay. Damn ATM limits!

 

What to do?

[jjkrkwood]

My assistant is 4'10", 205lbs, parents from El Salvador, and loves black dick in the ass. She really deserves to be fired for poor work performance, however, I love her and can definitely be sued for:

 

1. She is really from Burbank, CA (parents from El Salvador), however, I call her Mexican and have introduced her as such repeatedly over 3 years.

 

2. I wrote and choreographed a song for her to sing titled "Throw It Into My Dumper." In this song, Marilyn sings "throw it into my dumper baby" as the background thugs follow with "it do be the way she likes it." This scenario repeats itself with little to no other lyrics to follow. Marilyn has performed this is many bars after threatening to fire her while reeking of Bacardi.

 

3. I offer Marilyn days off and cash constantly for dressing up to amuse me. This past Halloween she wore an Oompa Loompa costume that I purchased.

 

4. Most recently I wrote a new song titled "Look At That Midget With Daisy Dukes On."

 

5. She has met nearly all of the escorts that I've fucked. In that I never have cash, and often hire last minute, Marilyn has sent cash to my apartment on 2 occasions to cover my lay. Damn ATM limits!

 

What to do?

 

and yet you call yourself an esteemed Professional ????? I truly hope you are kidding, or you deserve to have your ass hauled into Judge Judys and stripped of EVERY escort penny your bank account holds. And next time try not to get your assistants from "Assistant Imposters" to save a few bucks.

[citylaw1]

and yet you call yourself an esteemed Professional ????? I truly hope you are kidding, or you deserve to have your ass hauled into Judge Judys and stripped of EVERY escort penny your bank account holds. And next time try not to get your assistants from "Assistant Imposters" to save a few bucks.

 

Can you not tell from my post that we are very fond of each other? She adores me.

[jjkrkwood]

Can you not tell from my post that we are very fond of each other? She adores me.

 

she NEEDS the friggin job and is tolerating your abuse.... but somehow, I think you are kidding and think this is funny ! and remember, I was called anti-semetic here for saying I didnt like "kosher" meat, meaning jewish men....(in the sexually appealing sense). Wow, what THEY could do with YOUR post !

[maxwellissmart]

My assistant is 4'10", 205lbs, parents from El Salvador, and loves black dick in the ass. She really deserves to be fired for poor work performance, however, I love her and can definitely be sued for:

 

1. She is really from Burbank, CA (parents from El Salvador), however, I call her Mexican and have introduced her as such repeatedly over 3 years.

 

2. I wrote and choreographed a song for her to sing titled "Throw It Into My Dumper." In this song, Marilyn sings "throw it into my dumper baby" as the background thugs follow with "it do be the way she likes it." This scenario repeats itself with little to no other lyrics to follow. Marilyn has performed this is many bars after threatening to fire her while reeking of Bacardi.

 

3. I offer Marilyn days off and cash constantly for dressing up to amuse me. This past Halloween she wore an Oompa Loompa costume that I purchased.

 

4. Most recently I wrote a new song titled "Look At That Midget With Daisy Dukes On."

 

5. She has met nearly all of the escorts that I've fucked. In that I never have cash, and often hire last minute, Marilyn has sent cash to my apartment on 2 occasions to cover my lay. Damn ATM limits!

 

What to do?

 

Girl, put Citylaw back on the phone. Youse scarin' me.

[citylaw1]

she NEEDS the friggin job and is tolerating your abuse.... but somehow, I think you are kidding and think this is funny ! and remember, I was called anti-semetic here for saying I didnt like "kosher" meat, meaning jewish men....(in the sexually appealing sense). Wow, what THEY could do with YOUR post !

 

We are very fond of each other. She is always at my apartment in NYC and just came to Florida to visit. We both find this to be funny.

 

I also have a picture that she texted me of her very large bf's meat. So clearly this goes both ways.

 

The real question here is that she sucks at her job for about the last 6 months and sold weed while working. I may have to keep her on the personal payroll for kicks ... and weed.

[citylaw1]

she NEEDS the friggin job and is tolerating your abuse.... but somehow, I think you are kidding and think this is funny ! and remember, I was called anti-semetic here for saying I didnt like "kosher" meat, meaning jewish men....(in the sexually appealing sense). Wow, what THEY could do with YOUR post !

 

I'm not racist at all.

 

Jewish men? Jewish is a religion, not an ethnicity; therefore it would be a bit anti semitic (spelled correctly) to discard someone based on religion. Was it the Torah carrying that turned you off?

[citylaw1]

Girl, put Citylaw back on the phone. Youse scarin' me.

 

I'm surprised that this is scaring you. Perhaps you have to see it live to understand it. Maybe I look abusive and nuts in writing?

[maxwellissmart]

We are very fond of each other. She is always at my apartment in NYC and just came to Florida to visit. We both find this to be funny.

 

I also have a picture that she texted me of her very large bf's meat. So clearly this goes both ways.

 

The real question here is that she sucks at her job for about the last 6 months and sold weed while working. I may have to keep her on the personal payroll for kicks ... and weed.

 

Does Maria vet your love-choices for you?

[citylaw1]

Does Maria vet your love-choices for you?

 

 

Marilyn does more often than not. Usually when I meet someone for the first time it's in a bar, and Marilyn is often there as well. Very weird for some, however, I don't hide my hiring from anyone that knows me.

 

For the record, Marilyn sought out Sean Caden for me, and she's more pissed than I am at the outcome.

[maxwellissmart]

Does Maria vet your love-choices for you?

 

 

Marilyn does more often than not. Usually when I meet someone for the first time it's in a bar, and Marilyn is often there as well. Very weird for some, however, I don't hide my hiring from anyone that knows me.

 

For the record, Marilyn sought out Sean Caden for me, and she's more pissed than I am at the outcome.

 

She needta beat him and show him who the bigger bitch is.

[jjkrkwood]

I'm not racist at all.

 

Jewish men? Jewish is a religion, not an ethnicity; therefore it would be a bit anti semitic (spelled correctly) to discard someone based on religion. Was it the Torah carrying that turned you off?

 

More like the whining, and that big book did take up too much room in the bed.

[jjkrkwood]

I'm surprised that this is scaring you. Perhaps you have to see it live to understand it. Maybe I look abusive and nuts in writing?

 

ill wager its probably the same in Person !

[bigvalboy]

My assistant is 4'10", 205lbs, parents from El Salvador, and loves black dick in the ass. She really deserves to be fired for poor work performance, however, I love her and can definitely be sued for:

 

1. She is really from Burbank, CA (parents from El Salvador), however, I call her Mexican and have introduced her as such repeatedly over 3 years.

 

2. I wrote and choreographed a song for her to sing titled "Throw It Into My Dumper." In this song, Marilyn sings "throw it into my dumper baby" as the background thugs follow with "it do be the way she likes it." This scenario repeats itself with little to no other lyrics to follow. Marilyn has performed this is many bars after threatening to fire her while reeking of Bacardi.

 

3. I offer Marilyn days off and cash constantly for dressing up to amuse me. This past Halloween she wore an Oompa Loompa costume that I purchased.

 

4. Most recently I wrote a new song titled "Look At That Midget With Daisy Dukes On."

 

5. She has met nearly all of the escorts that I've fucked. In that I never have cash, and often hire last minute, Marilyn has sent cash to my apartment on 2 occasions to cover my lay. Damn ATM limits!

 

What to do?

 

I would fire her just because she lives in Burbank...talk about old Lockheed Republican Hell. Can't you move her to a cute little place in Toluca Lake?...and don't even try that BS about Valley Village...ain't the same. LOL

[instudiocity]

Does Maria vet your love-choices for you?

 

Marilyn does more often than not. Usually when I meet someone for the first time it's in a bar, and Marilyn is often there as well. Very weird for some, however, I don't hide my hiring from anyone that knows me.

 

For the record, Marilyn sought out Sean Caden for me, and she's more pissed than I am at the outcome.

You have really opened yourself up to some real liabilities if Marilyn ever figures out she's got her employer by the gonads. Mixing business with pleasure, stereotyping her, crossing the line between employer and employee... all of these are classics in employee discrimination/exploitation/wrongful dismissal cases. Hell, they'd be classic grounds for divorce if you were married to her!

 

I can't believe an arrogant snob of a lawyer such as you would place himself in this type of quintuple jeopardy with an employee. And we aren't even at the point of discussing whether she is a personal employee or one provided to you by your employer - damn, talk about the theory of deepest pockets. You could have really put yourself in the jackpot.

 

If you can't see my points, I'm changing your name to CityFlawS

[oz_carter]

The way you treat your assistant is appalling. Seriously.

[maxwellissmart]

I'm surprised that this is scaring you. Perhaps you have to see it live to understand it. Maybe I look abusive and nuts in writing?

 

Not abusive or nuts, just very different from Our Citylaw That We Have Come To Know And Love.

[jjkrkwood]

Not abusive or nuts, just very different from Our Citylaw That We Have Come To Know And Love.

 

speak for yourself Max...:o

 

I personally think CityFlaw (i like that name ALOT) is pulling our 3rd leg here, just to get a reaction.... (kinda like the helicopter comment). But if its true, it just reconfirms some "douchebaggy" behavior from him that we've seen in the past. And I came to that revelation as I was travelling crosstown on the city local bus....

[jgoo]

I personally think CityFlaw (i like that name ALOT) is pulling our 3rd leg here, just to get a reaction.

 

If it is an attempt at humor then I personally fail to see anything funny about it and I would be very disappointed to learn that.

 

If it is an accurate account of the situation, then it is quite upsetting and worrisome because it seems he is at some risk for his actions, as well as how this impacts his assistant as a result of those actions. I am very surprised that a lawyer would find himself in a situation like this but I guess stranger things have happened.

 

As far as how to work things out, I would suggest he see a good lawyer to see what could be done (perhaps this is an area that citylaw is not specialized in and he could use a dispassionate view from a legal adviser). One thought I have that may be of value if possible (and I am not a lawyer so I have no idea if it is enforceable) is to see if citylaw could get a very airtight confidentiality agreement that could not be broken no matter what happens in the future. Even if he doesn't terminate her employment it would be a very good idea.

 

And one final thought...no matter what, you really have to stop treating your current and future assistants like that as it is totally inappropriate (and probably illegal as far as being various types of harassment).

[jjkrkwood]

I'm sorry, if this is a REAL situation, and it were ME in it, I would be totally embarrased to publicize it, even to a bunch of strangers. I find nothing Funny about it either, and SHE is only a willing participant because she fears for her job. How can she enjoy being humiliated and taken advantage of ? The paycheck is the motivating factor here.

[citylaw1]

I would fire her just because she lives in Burbank...talk about old Lockheed Republican Hell. Can't you move her to a cute little place in Toluca Lake?...and don't even try that BS about Valley Village...ain't the same. LOL

 

She lives in a dumpy little apartment in Brooklyn with her free loading boyfriend. She sends money back to her Mother in Burbank, to put towards crushed glass for her stepfather's oatmeal.

[citylaw1]

I'm sorry, if this is a REAL situation, and it were ME in it, I would be totally embarrased to publicize it, even to a bunch of strangers. I find nothing Funny about it either, and SHE is only a willing participant because she fears for her job. How can she enjoy being humiliated and taken advantage of ? The paycheck is the motivating factor here.

 

She adores me JJ. It's not like she makes Jeter money here ... $15 per hour.

[citylaw1]

If it is an attempt at humor then I personally fail to see anything funny about it and I would be very disappointed to learn that.

 

If it is an accurate account of the situation, then it is quite upsetting and worrisome because it seems he is at some risk for his actions, as well as how this impacts his assistant as a result of those actions. I am very surprised that a lawyer would find himself in a situation like this but I guess stranger things have happened.

 

As far as how to work things out, I would suggest he see a good lawyer to see what could be done (perhaps this is an area that citylaw is not specialized in and he could use a dispassionate view from a legal adviser). One thought I have that may be of value if possible (and I am not a lawyer so I have no idea if it is enforceable) is to see if citylaw could get a very airtight confidentiality agreement that could not be broken no matter what happens in the future. Even if he doesn't terminate her employment it would be a very good idea.

 

And one final thought...no matter what, you really have to stop treating your current and future assistants like that as it is totally inappropriate (and probably illegal as far as being various types of harassment).

 

It certainly is a ridiculous situation. The confidentiality agreement is always the first document signed with me.

 

We are personal friends as well. Perhaps it sounds like abuse here, however, if you saw that chunky little midget sitting on a bar-stool beside me, feet dangling several inches above the footrest, you would experience our joy.

 

Life is a risk. If anyone sees a large headed, 58 inch El Salvadoran floating in the Hudson, you'll know what happened

 

I'll probably keep her forever, in that she and I are very similar to Jeff Lewis and Zoila http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.bravotv.com/media/u20/dish-101113-zoila-awards.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.bravotv.com/blogs/the-dish/zoila-crowns-a-winner&h=373&w=535&sz=162&tbnid=U4FXUqyzlrA_0M:&tbnh=90&tbnw=129&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dzoila%26tbm%3Disch%26tbo%3Du&zoom=1&q=zoila&usg=__GiiV-_NQzgcvwpUiid0fjvmuJxU=&docid=zL8y98sBxCXwbM&hl=en&sa=X&ei=EmYFUK_ICYm68ASVmNHiBw&sqi=2&ved=0CGAQ9QEwBg&dur=1410

[citylaw1]

You have really opened yourself up to some real liabilities if Marilyn ever figures out she's got her employer by the gonads. Mixing business with pleasure, stereotyping her, crossing the line between employer and employee... all of these are classics in employee discrimination/exploitation/wrongful dismissal cases. Hell, they'd be classic grounds for divorce if you were married to her!

 

I can't believe an arrogant snob of a lawyer such as you would place himself in this type of quintuple jeopardy with an employee. And we aren't even at the point of discussing whether she is a personal employee or one provided to you by your employer - damn, talk about the theory of deepest pockets. You could have really put yourself in the jackpot.

 

If you can't see my points, I'm changing your name to CityFlawS

 

Amen! I definitely have to save the picture she sent of her black boyfriend handling his very large cock.

 

Marilyn actually works for a small company that I own, as well as for myself. She used to work for my day job and was fired (not by me) for laziness. We have known each other for 6 years.

[citylaw1]

More like the whining, and that big book did take up too much room in the bed.

 

Now that's antisemitism. Very hard for a bald man to pull off.