Were you ever bullied?

[Atlantagaguy]

I have, but it wasn’t gay related. I was always liked and I was known for my sense of humor. When I was 16, I was playing football and was getting a lot of interest from major universities to play on scholarship. There was another guy on the team that was a year older and very jealous of the attention. He had his group of friends; they would always pick on me. I am a very low key, never confrontational type of a guy that always tried to handle my own personal affairs.

We had just finished football practice and I was getting undress for a shower. All of sudden I felt a warm sensation run down my butt crack and leg as I turned around I noticed my bully was pissing on me while his friends were watching. They were all laughing and making crude comments. I remember I didn’t say anything; I just walk away and went into the shower. I was so embarrassed and ashamed. I didn’t know what to do; I didn’t want to go tell anyone even though I am sure a lot of people knew. I didn’t want my parents to know, afraid what my father would have done. I was a junior and was going into my senior year; I was being recruited by UT, OU, OK state, UA, TCU, SMU and TAM. At the end of my school year I found out my HS Coach knew about the episode that happen in the locker room. Because the Bully was also being recruited to play college ball, he chose not to do anything. Once I found this out I choose not to play football the next year. I have always been content on my decision but it does show how a bully can affect a person life.

[whipped guy]

Yep... when I was 14... and not gay related... as at that time I had no clue... but perhaps others saw something that I didn't see in myself... so who knows? But as Hawthorne said, "Let God punish! Thou shall forgive!" A few years later the guy overdosed on drugs... thought that he could fly... and literally jumped off a cliff meeting his demise in the rocky waters below... like something out of a Hitchcock horror film... but true.

[Boner]

You don't have to be gay to be bullied. Just different than the rest of the shit-heads.

[jjkrkwood]

YES, as I've dicussed here many times, I've always been an "obvious" gay. The bullying and harrassment were much worse when I was younger and in school, coming mostly from classmates and peers. I was the "sissy, fairy, faggot, and cocksucker in my high school and college years. I was stalked and beaten. In my later years when I came into my own identity, was lured and beaten by a group of str8 posing as gay in a notorious gay cruising area. These days as GAY is more mainstream, its not as bad, but there is still the occassional

odd look or comment from Elders...They tend to like to mumble "faggot" under their breath as you pass them, or roll their eyes when you stand in front of them on the Bus (hello citylaw) wearing your pepto pink Chinos and flip-flops. The young seem to be more accepting, and perhaps thats because of learned behavior in school or progressive thinking at home ?

Nevertheless, I believe the experiences have made me a stronger, more determined person, and I never take anything for granted....

[tyro]

Yeah, for being smart, socially awkward, and "too nice."

T

[josephga]

yes in junior high. For 3 years I had to wear leg braces after having surgery to correct a issue.

[BostonPhil]

I was the first out gay boy in my high school. They tried to bully me but it never worked out the way they thought it would, I won't get into specific stories about that unless you want me to. I had a strong father who taught me not to take people's shit for any reason and to not stand by and watch it happen to others. By the time I was a senior I rarely had to deal with anything more severe in school than some one yelling the occasional "faggot!" By that time I didn't even need to react, I would inevitably hear their head being slammed into a locker or verbally castrated by one of my class mates. I was elected Homecoming and Prom Kings, which I privately declined. I had done enough and didn't feel the need to draw any more attention or controversy.

 

 

There was an autistic freshman that year, it was horrible hearing stories of how people messed with him all the time between classes. A group of my friends and I took on the responsibility of escorting him to his classes, we all took turns having lunch with him and his parents even took us out to dinner on occasion. Public school was not the place for him. One day I was walking down the hallway when I came upon him in an intersection with a stairwell. He was walking in circles because some one told him if he left the intersection he would die. It took me twenty minutes of coaxing for him to take my hand and cross the imaginary line.

 

 

I was charged with organizing and running one of those tacky "Leadership Camps. They were all about diversity that year. The last activity of the camp was to perform group sketches celebrating diversity and inclusion. All but one depicted stereotypes of gay and not in the context celebration but as the cross-dressing sissy comic relief. I let them all go on. I went to deliver my closing remarks in front of 500 people. I started with "I had some thin beautifully eloquent prepared but it hardly seems adequate to describe how your performances moved me." Cheers, even from faculty members. The only faculty members not cheering were those who were not out, unexpectedly and unprompted they came to stand beside me. One put their hand on my shoulder, I turned greeted with a reaffirming nod that what ever was about to happen was okay. I was so happy for them deciding to be themselves, I turned back to my waiting audience wiping a tear from the corner of my eye. I cleared my throat, "I would like you all to pair off with some one next to you teachers to... I want you to look them in the eye and call them the worse racial epitaph you can think of." Silence. "No? Turn to me and look me in the eye. Now call me a faggot." Again silence broken only by the sound of one of my flanking brothers and sisters stopping a principal from interrupting me. "If what I saw over the past hour and a half is how you see me," I turn to those standing with me, "how you see us and you feel demeaning portrayals of us are okay, then I have failed you. This day has been a failure and most of all you have failed yourselves. The dance starts in an hour I will see you all there." I left directly from there to the dance, stopping only to tell my newly out friends how proud I was of them. I spent the rest of the night dancing with my boyfriend and fielding some of the most heartfelt apologies.

 

 

Just last week I was enjoying a nice sunny day at the beach, I've never had a problem there. I decided I wanted to stroll along the water, on my return trip back to my towel I see a guy in his twenties walking very intently toward me. I stop, I say nothing. He says "Your outfit ain't cool man. Get the fuck outta here." And then he tries to push me down. Still, not a word from me. I see a gay couple get up ready to help me, I wave them off. I walk away as he watches. Once he sits down I change direction and make straight for where the state troopers park. I explain what happened and we wait for another trooper to show up. They tell me to wait there but I said I'd rather follow because he needs to see that it isn't okay.

 

 

To all of you, what do you do when you see some one being mistreated? Do you stand by and hope some one else helps or are you the guys on the beach who get up to come to a stranger's aid? It often only takes one voice to incite others to action, but no one wants to be first.

[jjkrkwood]

Yeah, for being smart, socially awkward, and "too nice."

T

 

BTW Ty - Congrats on your "Master-hood".... Sorry AG for the minor hijack !

[orbital sander]

I was the first out gay boy in my high school. They tried to bully me but it never worked out the way they thought it would, I won't get into specific stories about that unless you want me to. I had a strong father who taught me not to take people's shit for any reason and to not stand by and watch it happen to others. By the time I was a senior I rarely had to deal with anything more severe in school than some one yelling the occasional "faggot!" By that time I didn't even need to react, I would inevitably hear their head being slammed into a locker or verbally castrated by one of my class mates. I was elected Homecoming and Prom Kings, which I privately declined. I had done enough and didn't feel the need to draw any more attention or controversy.

 

 

There was an autistic freshman that year, it was horrible hearing stories of how people messed with him all the time between classes. A group of my friends and I took on the responsibility of escorting him to his classes, we all took turns having lunch with him and his parents even took us out to dinner on occasion. Public school was not the place for him. One day I was walking down the hallway when I came upon him in an intersection with a stairwell. He was walking in circles because some one told him if he left the intersection he would die. It took me twenty minutes of coaxing for him to take my hand and cross the imaginary line.

 

 

I was charged with organizing and running one of those tacky "Leadership Camps. They were all about diversity that year. The last activity of the camp was to perform group sketches celebrating diversity and inclusion. All but one depicted stereotypes of gay and not in the context celebration but as the cross-dressing sissy comic relief. I let them all go on. I went to deliver my closing remarks in front of 500 people. I started with "I had some thin beautifully eloquent prepared but it hardly seems adequate to describe how your performances moved me." Cheers, even from faculty members. The only faculty members not cheering were those who were not out, unexpectedly and unprompted they came to stand beside me. One put their hand on my shoulder, I turned greeted with a reaffirming nod that what ever was about to happen was okay. I was so happy for them deciding to be themselves, I turned back to my waiting audience wiping a tear from the corner of my eye. I cleared my throat, "I would like you all to pair off with some one next to you teachers to... I want you to look them in the eye and call them the worse racial epitaph you can think of." Silence. "No? Turn to me and look me in the eye. Now call me a faggot." Again silence broken only by the sound of one of my flanking brothers and sisters stopping a principal from interrupting me. "If what I saw over the past hour and a half is how you see me," I turn to those standing with me, "how you see us and you feel demeaning portrayals of us are okay, then I have failed you. This day has been a failure and most of all you have failed yourselves. The dance starts in an hour I will see you all there." I left directly from there to the dance, stopping only to tell my newly out friends how proud I was of them. I spent the rest of the night dancing with my boyfriend and fielding some of the most heartfelt apologies.

 

 

Just last week I was enjoying a nice sunny day at the beach, I've never had a problem there. I decided I wanted to stroll along the water, on my return trip back to my towel I see a guy in his twenties walking very intently toward me. I stop, I say nothing. He says "Your outfit ain't cool man. Get the fuck outta here." And then he tries to push me down. Still, not a word from me. I see a gay couple get up ready to help me, I wave them off. I walk away as he watches. Once he sits down I change direction and make straight for where the state troopers park. I explain what happened and we wait for another trooper to show up. They tell me to wait there but I said I'd rather follow because he needs to see that it isn't okay.

 

 

To all of you, what do you do when you see some one being mistreated? Do you stand by and hope some one else helps or are you the guys on the beach who get up to come to a stranger's aid? It often only takes one voice to incite others to action, but no one wants to be first.

 

Wow. Thank you for sharing, and being a leader!

[Boner]

Wow. Thank you for sharing, and being a leader!

 

Ditto +1. Good for you BP! Very proud of you.

[jjkrkwood]

To all of you, what do you do when you see some one being mistreated? Do you stand by and hope some one else helps or are you the guys on the beach who get up to come to a stranger's aid? It often only takes one voice to incite others to action, but no one wants to be first.

 

I am much MORE inclined these days to be the protector. I am not fearful of others as I was in my younger days, and I learned alot from those negative experiences. Its not ok to intimidate, harrass, bully or hurt people. I will speak up and ACT up if needed. Nothing can be worse than what I endured during my younger years, and I would never want anyone else to have those experiences.

 

And to YOU BP, you have replaced Wonder Woman as MY Idol..... May the force continue to be with YOU !

[orbital sander]

I am much MORE inclined these days to be the protector. I am not fearful of others as I was in my younger days, and I learned alot from those negative experiences. Its not ok to intimidate, harrass, bully or hurt people. I will speak up and ACT up if needed. Nothing can be worse than what I endured during my younger years, and I would never want anyone else to have those experiences.

Plus it is another great way to put one's mouth to work! I hate it when people do not stand up, it takes balls, but it is so worth it!

[jjkrkwood]

Plus it is another great way to put one's mouth to work! I hate it when people do not stand up, it takes balls, but it is so worth it!

 

My mouth gets plenty or work, and I find to stand up against my bullys, I need to be swinging a VERY big purse stuffed with bricks.

[BostonPhil]

Wow. Thank you for sharing, and being a leader!

 

Ditto +1. Good for you BP! Very proud of you.

 

Thank you. I didn't post for praise, people often forget the difference just one person can make.

 

I am much MORE inclined these days to be the protector. I am not fearful of others as I was in my younger days, and I learned alot from those negative experiences. Its not ok to intimidate, harrass, bully or hurt people. I will speak up and ACT up if needed. Nothing can be worse than what I endured during my younger years, and I would never want anyone else to have those experiences.

 

YAY! If you can, you should!

[tyro]

Thanks JJ! I can't believe I've made the triple-digits club already!

T

 

BTW Ty - Congrats on your "Master-hood".... Sorry AG for the minor hijack !

[tyro]

I love you Phil!!

The school where I teach also houses the MD unit for the county. Those kids eat lunch with everyone else. Their disabilities run the gamut from SEVERE mental retardation (sorry to use the old term) to orthopedic problems to everything in between. Never ONCE have I seen or heard any of the high school students harassing any of them. Sometimes we "grown-ups" could stand some mentoring from our youngers...and betters.

T

 

I was the first out gay boy in my high school. They tried to bully me but it never worked out the way they thought it would, I won't get into specific stories about that unless you want me to. I had a strong father who taught me not to take people's shit for any reason and to not stand by and watch it happen to others. By the time I was a senior I rarely had to deal with anything more severe in school than some one yelling the occasional "faggot!" By that time I didn't even need to react, I would inevitably hear their head being slammed into a locker or verbally castrated by one of my class mates. I was elected Homecoming and Prom Kings, which I privately declined. I had done enough and didn't feel the need to draw any more attention or controversy.

 

 

There was an autistic freshman that year, it was horrible hearing stories of how people messed with him all the time between classes. A group of my friends and I took on the responsibility of escorting him to his classes, we all took turns having lunch with him and his parents even took us out to dinner on occasion. Public school was not the place for him. One day I was walking down the hallway when I came upon him in an intersection with a stairwell. He was walking in circles because some one told him if he left the intersection he would die. It took me twenty minutes of coaxing for him to take my hand and cross the imaginary line.

 

 

I was charged with organizing and running one of those tacky "Leadership Camps. They were all about diversity that year. The last activity of the camp was to perform group sketches celebrating diversity and inclusion. All but one depicted stereotypes of gay and not in the context celebration but as the cross-dressing sissy comic relief. I let them all go on. I went to deliver my closing remarks in front of 500 people. I started with "I had some thin beautifully eloquent prepared but it hardly seems adequate to describe how your performances moved me." Cheers, even from faculty members. The only faculty members not cheering were those who were not out, unexpectedly and unprompted they came to stand beside me. One put their hand on my shoulder, I turned greeted with a reaffirming nod that what ever was about to happen was okay. I was so happy for them deciding to be themselves, I turned back to my waiting audience wiping a tear from the corner of my eye. I cleared my throat, "I would like you all to pair off with some one next to you teachers to... I want you to look them in the eye and call them the worse racial epitaph you can think of." Silence. "No? Turn to me and look me in the eye. Now call me a faggot." Again silence broken only by the sound of one of my flanking brothers and sisters stopping a principal from interrupting me. "If what I saw over the past hour and a half is how you see me," I turn to those standing with me, "how you see us and you feel demeaning portrayals of us are okay, then I have failed you. This day has been a failure and most of all you have failed yourselves. The dance starts in an hour I will see you all there." I left directly from there to the dance, stopping only to tell my newly out friends how proud I was of them. I spent the rest of the night dancing with my boyfriend and fielding some of the most heartfelt apologies.

 

 

Just last week I was enjoying a nice sunny day at the beach, I've never had a problem there. I decided I wanted to stroll along the water, on my return trip back to my towel I see a guy in his twenties walking very intently toward me. I stop, I say nothing. He says "Your outfit ain't cool man. Get the fuck outta here." And then he tries to push me down. Still, not a word from me. I see a gay couple get up ready to help me, I wave them off. I walk away as he watches. Once he sits down I change direction and make straight for where the state troopers park. I explain what happened and we wait for another trooper to show up. They tell me to wait there but I said I'd rather follow because he needs to see that it isn't okay.

 

 

To all of you, what do you do when you see some one being mistreated? Do you stand by and hope some one else helps or are you the guys on the beach who get up to come to a stranger's aid? It often only takes one voice to incite others to action, but no one wants to be first.

[orbital sander]

Thank you. I didn't post for praise, people often forget the difference just one person can make.

Well you get mine anyway, You sir, have some guts.

[jjkrkwood]

Well you get mine anyway, You sir, have some guts.

 

I'm more in awe of his Big Balls (cojones) .....

[maxwellissmart]

I was the first out gay boy in my high school. They tried to bully me but it never worked out the way they thought it would, I won't get into specific stories about that unless you want me to. I had a strong father who taught me not to take people's shit for any reason and to not stand by and watch it happen to others. By the time I was a senior I rarely had to deal with anything more severe in school than some one yelling the occasional "faggot!" By that time I didn't even need to react, I would inevitably hear their head being slammed into a locker or verbally castrated by one of my class mates. I was elected Homecoming and Prom Kings, which I privately declined. I had done enough and didn't feel the need to draw any more attention or controversy.

 

 

There was an autistic freshman that year, it was horrible hearing stories of how people messed with him all the time between classes. A group of my friends and I took on the responsibility of escorting him to his classes, we all took turns having lunch with him and his parents even took us out to dinner on occasion. Public school was not the place for him. One day I was walking down the hallway when I came upon him in an intersection with a stairwell. He was walking in circles because some one told him if he left the intersection he would die. It took me twenty minutes of coaxing for him to take my hand and cross the imaginary line.

 

 

I was charged with organizing and running one of those tacky "Leadership Camps. They were all about diversity that year. The last activity of the camp was to perform group sketches celebrating diversity and inclusion. All but one depicted stereotypes of gay and not in the context celebration but as the cross-dressing sissy comic relief. I let them all go on. I went to deliver my closing remarks in front of 500 people. I started with "I had some thin beautifully eloquent prepared but it hardly seems adequate to describe how your performances moved me." Cheers, even from faculty members. The only faculty members not cheering were those who were not out, unexpectedly and unprompted they came to stand beside me. One put their hand on my shoulder, I turned greeted with a reaffirming nod that what ever was about to happen was okay. I was so happy for them deciding to be themselves, I turned back to my waiting audience wiping a tear from the corner of my eye. I cleared my throat, "I would like you all to pair off with some one next to you teachers to... I want you to look them in the eye and call them the worse racial epitaph you can think of." Silence. "No? Turn to me and look me in the eye. Now call me a faggot." Again silence broken only by the sound of one of my flanking brothers and sisters stopping a principal from interrupting me. "If what I saw over the past hour and a half is how you see me," I turn to those standing with me, "how you see us and you feel demeaning portrayals of us are okay, then I have failed you. This day has been a failure and most of all you have failed yourselves. The dance starts in an hour I will see you all there." I left directly from there to the dance, stopping only to tell my newly out friends how proud I was of them. I spent the rest of the night dancing with my boyfriend and fielding some of the most heartfelt apologies.

 

 

Just last week I was enjoying a nice sunny day at the beach, I've never had a problem there. I decided I wanted to stroll along the water, on my return trip back to my towel I see a guy in his twenties walking very intently toward me. I stop, I say nothing. He says "Your outfit ain't cool man. Get the fuck outta here." And then he tries to push me down. Still, not a word from me. I see a gay couple get up ready to help me, I wave them off. I walk away as he watches. Once he sits down I change direction and make straight for where the state troopers park. I explain what happened and we wait for another trooper to show up. They tell me to wait there but I said I'd rather follow because he needs to see that it isn't okay.

 

 

To all of you, what do you do when you see some one being mistreated? Do you stand by and hope some one else helps or are you the guys on the beach who get up to come to a stranger's aid? It often only takes one voice to incite others to action, but no one wants to be first.

 

Dude—you're awesome. I can't even go to my high school reunions because they stress me out so much. One person with whom I was best friends in childhood got mad at me and started calling me a sissy from about 6th grade on. Needless to say, our friendship ended. I saw him at our 10th year reunion and he asked me what I was up to—I replied with: "I just got done fucking the shit out of my boyfriend, got dressed and came here. Yourself?" He contacted me several years later when I was working in a similar field to his, and came out to me. I thought we might be friends again, and then the 15th came up and we both went. I'm out, and at the reunion he acted like he didn't even know me.

[BostonPhil]

Dude—you're awesome. I can't even go to my high school reunions because they stress me out so much. One person with whom I was best friends in childhood got mad at me and started calling me a sissy from about 6th grade on. Needless to say, our friendship ended. I saw him at our 10th year reunion and he asked me what I was up to—I replied with: "I just got done fucking the shit out of my boyfriend, got dressed and came here. Yourself?" He contacted me several years later when I was working in a similar field to his, and came out to me. I thought we might be friends again, and then the 15th came up and we both went. I'm out, and at the reunion he acted like he didn't even know me.

 

The people with the biggest problem are often the ones deepest in the closet. I'm sure the guy on the beach thought I was topless girl as I was walking away from him. It was when I turned and he could see my front that he had a problem. He probably felt his sexuality was threatened after having checked out my cute bum in a tiny swim suit.

[jjkrkwood]

The people with the biggest problem are often the ones deepest in the closet. I'm sure the guy on the beach thought I was topless girl as I was walking away from him. It was when I turned and he could see my front that he had a problem. He probably felt his sexuality was threatened after having checked out my cute bum in a tiny swim suit.

 

Please tell me it was an Itsy, Bitsy, Teeny, Weeny, Yellow polka Dot bikini.... ??

[maxwellissmart]

Please tell me it was an Itsy, Bitsy, Teeny, Weeny, Yellow polka Dot bikini.... ??

 

I get the feeling it was that American flag trash that he bought at Frederick's of Hollywood.

[jjkrkwood]

I get the feeling it was that American flag trash that he bought at Frederick's of Hollywood.

 

That was his "Katy Perry" moment....

[Epigonos]

I am probably going to raise the ire of some (many) on this site. When we discuss bullying we MUST distinguish between kidding, teasing, harassing and bullying. There is a difference. As children we have all been subjected to kidding, teasing, and some harassment. In some ways by learning how to deal with these behaviors we learn how to survive in a rather hard cruel world. I have an adult niece who has been so sheltered by her overly protective parents that she bursts into tears the minute anybody disagree with her on any issue and accused her “tormentor” of bullying. We need to be very careful in defining bullying in order to be certain that it is indeed malicious and damaging. As a long time high school teacher I NEVER allowed bullying in my classroom. When in doubt regarding the behavior I witnessed I put an immediate stop to it – it is, however, a judgment call.

An obvious example of where the school and the teacher were remiss was the case of the gay students shot by a classmate in Ventura (?) California. From all the testimony given it is obvious that BULLYING was taking place and the teacher should have put an immediate stop to it.

[BostonPhil]

I get the feeling it was that American flag trash that he bought at Frederick's of Hollywood.

 

Hey hey now that is a very nice piece made of italian fabric designed for water polo.

 

And no, it was my samurai suit!