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Why do you feel clients can be nonconfrontational or don't give proper fare wells?


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Yesterday I decided to end an 8 month long relationship with 2 friends (100% platonic) I've been hanging out with nearly every weekend. Although the actual 'you went WAY too far this time, our friendship can't be salvaged' moment occurred earlier that weekend; I was still polite enough to return (key word return, not initiate) the person's text message the next day. I let them know I was no longer interested in making plans to hang out with them at this time, and to please take care.

 

Although 1 of the responses I read were rather negative (hell, I was nice about it afterall!), I deleted subsequent messages and proceeded to use the call block feature on my service so that I can quickly avoid any further invitations into drama. Because afterall, they wouldn't come to me in person to say it so no need to carry on behind a technological force-field.

 

However, I wonder why many times; clients do not do the same. I was seeing a client for going on 3 years every so often. On the last visit, there was a 1 year lapse since last meeting. We'd made arrangements for an overnight in another city. However, there was a misunderstanding as to how long I was to stay in the area. Looking over the emails, it was agreed that it'd just be 1 night, not the whole weekend. I was unable to reserve a full weekend but apparently he'd planned his trip 2 days longer than needed to accommodate me which I was unaware of. In addition, I found it difficult to carry on 2 straight days after not seeing this gentleman for nearly a year.

 

Further more, I believe he may have sensed a decrease in passion from prior appointments. It would have been tough for me (and him too), but I would have been willing to tell him the reason behind that which may have helped him in future encounters with escorts. It would have behooved him to get some insight. But, I didn't say anything since I never received the usual email I get after every encounter from him and mine went unanswered.

 

Do they owe an explanation? No. Do I expect it? No. I can understand if you've only met an escort just a few times, it's generally not necessary. Or, an hourly client who shows up discreetly once a week and leaves, that's different. I'm talking about clients you've known for months or in this case years who claim you're a 'friend' and book you for long dates don't even say anything. But just so you know, it kind of dilutes all the things they say that sound so loving and caring if after awhile they drop off the face of the earth with no explanation. It takes it from going in 1 ear and out the next to, "okay...stop talking all sweet to me and just get naked god dammit!" To me it's also a rather cowardly move on their part as well...It's like don't call me a friend when the 1st time a miscommunication comes up you bail out. I'm actually involved with a guy now who the whole town thinks he's an asshole. Actually, it's just he's direct and open rather than just tell you what you want to hear. What they don't see is his actions follow his words, and that's why it's been going better than anyone else I've dated in the last couple years LOL.

 

But then again I understand any kind of confrontation with me is intimidating and most people don't even take their chances. Scary on the outside, but calm and logical on the inside. Why do you think so? Clients/escorts may apply. Or shall I say, re-ply

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I live in a reality where I don't expect anything from any client or any friend.

 

If a client wants to see me, that's great but to be perfectly honest and I don't want this to sound negative but when I leave a client or close the door behind him, I rarely give him a second thought. Clients don't owe us any explanations for their actions and we don't owe them any, however if I mess a client about .... which is rare, I would always explain why, but I don't expect the same respect in return. I seen a client this week for the first time in 6 months who I had been seeing every month for 2 years and I knew already he had been seeing another escort because he left a voice message on my phone thinking I was his other escort he books regularly in Edinburgh. I didn't return the call or question him and I certainly never mentioned it.

 

Clients have another life and if they drop you without explanation it's not really our place to question it. Another good client may just be around the corner. There's nothing cowardly about it, they may just have a change in their person circumstances and their regular escort is the least of their worries.

 

Personally I don't get involved with clients or other escorts. I just keep myself to myself and every appointment whether it's new or a regular is a bonus to me and enriches my life but if a client goes quiet or cold I don't beat myself up about it, in fact I rarely think about it.

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"People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.

 

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.

 

They may seem like a godsend and they are.

 

They are there for the reason you need them to be.

 

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end

 

Sometimes they die.

Sometimes they walk away.

Sometimes they act up and

force you to take a stand.

 

What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done.

 

The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

 

 

Some people come into your life for a SEASON,

because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.

 

They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.

 

They may teach you something you have never done.

 

They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.

 

Believe it, it is real.

 

But only for a season.

 

 

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must

build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.

 

Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

 

 

TODAY THANK THE PERSON WHO IN ONE WAY OR ANOTHER HAVE BEEN PART OF YOUR LIFE

Even if a small way you can make them feel

That you are indeed thankful for their

Presence as well as the beautiful moments that they have given -

 

No matter if they are your reason, season, or your lifetime."

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Joey, our relationships with our friends, and the escort/client relationship are two different things. I think Steven Draker's response was perfect when dealing our non-professional relationships.

 

I don't think any explanation is particularly necessary when a client and/or escort decides to move on (unless they were particularly dissatisfied).

 

On the personal realm, I have had a variety of friendships with people. Some (including me) have moved on without an explanation. Some have been lifelong (I have a handfull of friends I've known and am still in contact with since kindergarten). One in particular was a very close friendship in which there were a couple of falling outs, but we managed to patch up that friendship over the course of time.

 

Each friendship/relationship (business arrangement or otherwise) is different unto itself, so there is no one way to behave.

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For me hiring is a FINITE relationship. It has a beginning, a middle and an END. When its over, its over, until the next time, perhaps. I dont feel I owe anyone ANYTHING other than his fee if he has fulfilled his end of the deal. As for real friends, these relationships are often more deeply rooted and complex, and perhaps some final words are necessary if ending these

relationship, if ONLY for closure purposes.

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For me hiring is a FINITE relationship. It has a beginning, a middle and an END. When its over, its over, until the next time, perhaps. I dont feel I owe anyone ANYTHING other than his fee if he has fulfilled his end of the deal.

 

That's exactly as I see it at my side. Sometimes I will think, well...... I wonder where David from Durham is these days, he's never booked in a while, he was nice. Then I turn my thoughts to more important matters like who my next client is and just move on. David might well come back and he might have been regular, but his wife may have died or his might have moved with work, he might have found a fuck buddy and no longer feels he needs to pay for his company. People just move on.

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That's exactly as I see it at my side. Sometimes I will think, well...... I wonder where David from Durham is these days, he's never booked in a while, he was nice. Then I turn my thoughts to more important matters like who my next client is and just move on. David might well come back and he might have been regular, but his wife may have died or his might have moved with work, he might have found a fuck buddy and no longer feels he needs to pay for his company. People just move on.

 

I agree. I actually don't prefer to say "goodbye" as it means they may show up at my doorstep again for some fun. When I've gone off the radar, I've told some people I'd be moving on for a while. Maybe five—out of over a thousand. Our relationships with clients tend to be in the "here-and-now," not in the "five years from now when we're both old and gray."

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I agree. I actually don't prefer to say "goodbye" as it means they may show up at my doorstep again for some fun. When I've gone off the radar, I've told some people I'd be moving on for a while. Maybe five—out of over a thousand. Our relationships with clients tend to be in the "here-and-now," not in the "five years from now when we're both old and gray."

 

Joey I can only speak from my experience as a client. Over the years I have befriended two escorts. Those two I keep in contact with, have dinner at least once a month, and will often just hang out for the day. But that kind of relationship I think is rare. I look at hiring as a business transaction. They provide a service, and I pay. For me that is usually the end of it.

 

I recently hired an escort, and it was the second time we were together. This person I truly like as a person and he has asked if I would take him to Fort Lauderdale. Of the time we have spent together, I look at this guy as more than just an escort. I am not saying that I consider him a friend, but the potential of him being someone in the future that I do more with than just have sex is fairly high in my estimation.

 

So I guess my point is that it depends on how I look at the person that I am hiring. Sometimes it is just business and I don't expect to see them in between hires. I don't send endless emails checking on them, and I am not offended when months or years go by without hearing from them. Others, for whatever reason, something more develops, and in those situations I treat those just like my friends.

 

It is a fine line when the relationship begins to transcends from strictly a hire to something more. When that begins to happen, I have had sit down and have a heart to heart talk, just so there is no misunderstanding. So far things have gone smoothly.

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I'm talking about clients you've known for months or in this case years who claim you're a 'friend' and book you for long dates don't even say anything. But just so you know, it kind of dilutes all the things they say that sound so loving and caring if after awhile they drop off the face of the earth with no explanation. It takes it from going in 1 ear and out the next to, "okay...stop talking all sweet to me and just get naked god dammit!" To me it's also a rather cowardly move on their part as well...It's like don't call me a friend when the 1st time a miscommunication comes up you bail out.

 

Were you a friend to this client?

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I can't tell from your post how long it's been since the miscommunication incident. It's also not clear what you want or expect - did you want him to expicitly tell you he was dropping you because of the incident (assuming that's what happened)? in addition to the miscommunication, it sounds like the quality of the encounters had been declining. So it seems like there were multiple reasons to move on, if that is indeed what he's done.

 

I think MOST of us like to avoid 'confrontations' ( to use the word from your title) - especially when nothing will be gained from them.

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The reasons are many and vary by individual. Only 4 percent of my visitors, statistically, have the right combination of emotional maturity, resources and personal accountability to be called genuine friends. Like the person you're dating, they exhibit these qualities even after all payments are made.

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