Sense of urgency

[unsub2O17]

I chose to post this here because this is a serious topic requesting serious commentary, and, hopefully, it will be of use to escorts and most clients alike.

 

I came to this game late (65). My powers are obviously in decline, and, yet, I somehow want to know and experience what I missed in my 20's, 30's etc. When I get "anal over anal," it's because I don't have decades to evolve my skills and make my decisions about it. I have weeks. I don't have years to develop good oral and kissing techniques. I have hours. When comments are made on the forums about being unrealistic or too demanding or trying to get something for nothing, it is not always that simple. There's an urgency to my "unrealistic or demanding" actions. A year wasted by a younger person in an unrewarding relationship is like an hour wasted with an unrewarding escort to me. When I'm told to relax and enjoy the ride, how am I supposed to do that when there is so much to do in so little time!?

 

Now, the question. Am I asking the impossible? Is it just what it is?? No bungee jumping in New Zealand now for this geezer. I'll just never know what it would have felt like at 40 or 30 or... Am I expressing regret? NO! Not really. I made most of my life decisions thoughtfully and deliberately. What I'm expressing is, hopefully, realistic acceptance. You see, that's the key to my relaxing--not advice on technique, not urging to give it up. Rather, going where I can go and knowing that I would have gone farther earlier in life, but I just didn't. Then, I truly can relax (and so can my escort) and enjoy the ride that is left to me. Who knows. He's got the experience. Maybe he'll find a detour that will be useful to us both.

[maxwellissmart]

I chose to post this here because this is a serious topic requesting serious commentary, and, hopefully, it will be of use to escorts and most clients alike.

 

I came to this game late (65). My powers are obviously in decline, and, yet, I somehow want to know and experience what I missed in my 20's, 30's etc. When I get "anal over anal," it's because I don't have decades to evolve my skills and make my decisions about it. I have weeks. I don't have years to develop good oral and kissing techniques. I have hours. When comments are made on the forums about being unrealistic or too demanding or trying to get something for nothing, it is not always that simple. There's an urgency to my "unrealistic or demanding" actions. A year wasted by a younger person in an unrewarding relationship is like an hour wasted with an unrewarding escort to me. When I'm told to relax and enjoy the ride, how am I supposed to do that when there is so much to do in so little time!?

 

Now, the question. Am I asking the impossible? Is it just what it is?? No bungee jumping in New Zealand now for this geezer. I'll just never know what it would have felt like at 40 or 30 or... Am I expressing regret? NO! Not really. I made most of my life decisions thoughtfully and deliberately. What I'm expressing is, hopefully, realistic acceptance. You see, that's the key to my relaxing--not advice on technique, not urging to give it up. Rather, going where I can go and knowing that I would have gone farther earlier in life, but I just didn't. Then, I truly can relax (and so can my escort) and enjoy the ride that is left to me. Who knows. He's got the experience. Maybe he'll find a detour that will be useful to us both.

 

Oh, I didn't realize you only had days to live—being 65 and all. I guess the question and neurosis to plant in your mind now is: think of how much time you're spending on this board when you could be fucking, or going to the grocery store when you could be fucking, or enjoying life in moderation and understanding that there are limits on things and that often we are our own worst enemies when it comes to simply settling back, relaxing and accepting or even celebrating things for what they are... when you could be fucking?

 

My favorite client is in his mid-60s. I'm the only one he sees. There are times when weeks go by and we don't see or talk to each other—because his life is full of stuff other than sex. When we see each other we don't make up for lost time. We simply enjoy each other—and whatever happens for the several hours that we're together runs the gamut from sex to dinner to walking in the park. This should be an addition to your life, not something that consumes it.

 

Perhaps I'm misreading your posts—but you sound very frazzled much of the time.

[BostonPhil]

I am not sure I really understand the question but I'm going to attempt a response anyhow.

 

First, you're only 65. I have seen clients 15 years your senior so it isn't like you're running out time soon. When people have said to relax and enjoy the ride in your other threads, what I think is meant, don't stress yourself out about it. If you're worrying and stressing about each encounter with an escort, for what ever reason, you are less likely to enjoy your time.

 

You feel like you have missed something and you want to make up for that lost time, ensure that you are going to get out of each escort what you want. We are service providers and you are the client. If an escort shows up tweaked out, send him on his way. If an escort makes you feel like shit, send them packing. Be more assertive about what you need and expect. If the clothes aren't off, you owe them nothing. If they are not as advertised, you owe them nothing.

 

I showed up to a client just the other day and when he opened the door says, "I'm so glad you're not black." I was dumbfounded at that as a greeting. It turns out, he is not attracted to black guys (no idea what he is missing) and he had hired, young white boy. When the escort showed up he was OBVIOUSLY not the same person in the photos. The client called him out on it and sent him home. If you don't think you are going to get out of it what you want, you should not be paying them.

 

Oh and at least act like you enjoy it, don't use teeth and also don't cover half my face with your mouth but don't peck at me like a chicken.

[jjkrkwood]

Oh and at least act like you enjoy it, don't use teeth and also don't cover half my face with your mouth but don't peck at me like a chicken.

 

Wow, BP and I had just picked up my phone to book you, and now this ???? Guess I'm not on your wish list ? I can take my teeth out, but I am still a "pecker".....

[maxwellissmart]

Wow, BP and I had just picked up my phone to book you, and now this ???? Guess I'm not on your wish list ? I can take my teeth out, but I am still a "pecker".....

 

There's few things worse than a bad kisser. Even bad hygiene gets the "hey, I know—let's take a shower!" workaround. Bad kissing just gets a deep sigh of misery.

[jjkrkwood]

There's few things worse than a bad kisser. Even bad hygiene gets the "hey, I know—let's take a shower!" workaround. Bad kissing just gets a deep sigh of misery.

 

I AGREE with absolutely NO doubt.....

[+ sf westcoaster]

Unsub, based on your reference to bungee jumping, my guess is that you have read the review I posted talking about my journey. Much like you I spent my younger years in an environment very different than one I am now enjoying. My first recommendation is that you forget about age and secondly look for an escort who is more than a sex object. Find one that relates to you as a person, cultivate a healthy client/escort friendship. Being ever mindful of realistic boundries. Stop beating yourself up, move ahead, don't be afraid of what might be, but be afraid of what might not be.

[BostonPhil]

Wow, BP and I had just picked up my phone to book you, and now this ???? Guess I'm not on your wish list ? I can take my teeth out, but I am still a "pecker".....

 

There's pecking and then there is "PEKING"

 

Just an observation but my face is not here to be torn up for the target practice of your machine gun mouth.

 

What was this thread about again? Curry?

 

Unsub, you may be well served by hiring any one of the escorts you see here.

[maxwellissmart]

There's pecking and then there is "PEKING"

 

Just an observation but my face is not here to be torn up for the target practice of your machine gun mouth.

 

What was this thread about again? Curry?

 

Unsub, you may be well served by hiring any one of the escorts you see here.

 

But hurry—this offer won't last long!

[jjkrkwood]

There's pecking and then there is "PEKING"

 

Just an observation but my face is not here to be torn up for the target practice of your machine gun mouth.

 

What was this thread about again? Curry?

 

Unsub, you may be well served by hiring any one of the escorts you see here.

 

And if he decides anal aint his thing afterall and goes the Oral route, I'll BLOW him for FREE !

[BostonPhil]

But hurry—this offer won't last long!

 

HA I wasn't suggesting myself

[Phil_musc]

So, JJ, you've taken my advice about retirement income and decided to go pro and hang out your shingle? This in addition to your home videos of your autofellatio talents! My, my, your life is certainly becoming busier and fuller. This is so progressive and so 21st century of you. Listen up, boys, and learn from The Man! Might I suggest an online course that you might run - "Starting a new business in one's 7th decade." You are my new idol; we must visit sometime (before we get much older and you get so booked up) ;-)

[jjkrkwood]

So, JJ, you've taken my advice about retirement income and decided to go pro and hang out your shingle? This in addition to your home videos of your autofellatio talents! My, my, your life is certainly becoming busier and fuller. This is so progressive and so 21st century of you. Listen up, boys, and learn from The Man! Might I suggest an online course that you might run - "Starting a new business in one's 7th decade." You are my new idol; we must visit sometime (before we get much older and you get so booked up) ;-)

 

Phil, you know what they say about "best laid plans" ? Whats in my HEAD needs to translate.... but rest assured I will ALWAYS make time for you, even if my home attendant needs to push my wheelchair all the way to TGI Fridays..... Its always so refreshing to be IDOLIZED.... but on another note, back to unsubs "sense of urgency" since his thread seemed to have gotten the usual hijacking. SORRY unsub ! I think what most of the members are trying to do is to lighten the mood and try to calm you down a bit ? Sometimes removing oneself from a situation for just a brief respite helps you to see the issue in a whole new light. Sincerely hoping there is nothing that is seriously wrong which is precipitating your "so little time" claims.?

[unsub2O17]

Phil, you know what they say about "best laid plans" ? Whats in my HEAD needs to translate.... but rest assured I will ALWAYS make time for you, even if my home attendant needs to push my wheelchair all the way to TGI Fridays..... Its always so refreshing to be IDOLIZED.... but on another note, back to unsubs "sense of urgency" since his thread seemed to have gotten the usual hijacking. SORRY unsub ! I think what most of the members are trying to do is to lighten the mood and try to calm you down a bit ? Sometimes removing oneself from a situation for just a brief respite helps you to see the issue in a whole new light. Sincerely hoping there is nothing that is seriously wrong which is precipitating your "so little time" claims.?

 

Actually, it's kind of nice to be reassured (in a lighthearted way?) that I've got more time than I thought. No, there's nothing wrong that I know of, but thanks for asking, JJ. It's just that I know SO many men my age who are totally out of commission due to prostate issues or cancer or heart disease or what have you. I just assumed.... And all the advice is good. I will take a deep breath and "pause". Hmmm. Now that I think of it, my father retired at 65 sure that he would die soon. He sat around and waited. He finally had his prostate surgery at age 80 without incident, and he died at 88 after a very short illness. Maybe the genes are there!

[leigh.bess.toad]

Unsub, based on your reference to bungee jumping, my guess is that you have read the review I posted talking about my journey. Much like you I spent my younger years in an environment very different than one I am now enjoying. My first recommendation is that you forget about age and secondly look for an escort who is more than a sex object. Find one that relates to you as a person, cultivate a healthy client/escort friendship. Being ever mindful of realistic boundries. Stop beating yourself up, move ahead, don't be afraid of what might be, but be afraid of what might not be.

 

Unsub -- looking back and regretting what might have been, what you missed, is simply an exercise in futility. Trying to cram a full life of experiences into what hopefully is many years left will only lead to frustration. So I know it isn't what you want to hear, but you DO just need to relax and enjoy the ride. And you can never anticipate where the journey will take you.

 

SFW is one of the great examples here. In many ways, he is an inspiration to many who know his story. I am in awe of where he has come from and what he has done. And there are many on the forum like him, like you -- men who didn't begin to explore their true sexuality until later in life. You are not the first, you will not be the last, and you are by no means even close to the oldest man here to be where you are when they started. And most of the really great escorts have been with men such as yourself. Learning what you want to learn, experiencing things you want to experience can't happen if you are uptight about it. You can't walk into a session with an escort and say "teach me something".

 

Surrender to the moments and enjoy. Ask questions and just absorb things. Enjoy what you have in the here and now.

 

One thing I have learned in my journey is that confidence is as sexy as hell. Self-deprecation and negative thoughts are complete turn-offs. Don't think "I'm old, I'm fat, i'm ugly, i'm this or that". Trust me, been there done that. I have been bitchslapped (and hard) by more than one escort, more than one friend to just stop that crap. If you make a mistake or do something not right, learn and move on. It isn't easy to get rid of those little voices in your head making you doubt yourself, but you have to do it. I was the master of that. Until I learned how destructive it was to what I wanted. It was driving friends away, and ruining experiences with some wonderful escorts. I finally had enough and just stopped. And now, although there are many challenges ahead, getting rid of those voices was the key to my future happiness.

 

Read what SFW said carefully. He is very smart and following his advice can certainly help a lot.

 

Good luck.

[Phil_musc]

Darn - this thread has reinforced the idea for me that a lot of us share similar aspects of life. It would be wonderful if we could all meet and talk and share our experiences - I realize we already do that here with our writings, but there is something to be said for physical proximity - like being in the same room with someone and seeing them as they speak with you. I know - some of you guys did that for Palm Springs weekend - but I'll bet your minds (and other body parts) were focused on other things and no one wanted to share life experience stories with a group of guys who were probably quite simpatico normally, but with all that eye candy, well need I say more? Unsub, if I seemed like I was making light of your situation, that was not my intent at all. You have shared some significant details of your life that we didn't know earlier on. I salute your efforts to seize the day (carpe diem and all. . .) - better late than never. While my life has been very different from yours, there are so many lost opportunities and chances that I regret not discerning at the time. But I'm trying to be more present in the present - not my nature, but I'm working on it.

 

Thanks to all you guys who have weighed in here - it's almost like therapy for me. I'm grateful.

[jjkrkwood]

Darn - this thread has reinforced the idea for me that a lot of us share similar aspects of life. It would be wonderful if we could all meet and talk and share our experiences - I realize we already do that here with our writings, but there is something to be said for physical proximity - like being in the same room with someone and seeing them as they speak with you. I know - some of you guys did that for Palm Springs weekend - but I'll bet your minds (and other body parts) were focused on other things and no one wanted to share life experience stories with a group of guys who were probably quite simpatico normally, but with all that eye candy, well need I say more? Unsub, if I seemed like I was making light of your situation, that was not my intent at all. You have shared some significant details of your life that we didn't know earlier on. I salute your efforts to seize the day (carpe diem and all. . .) - better late than never. While my life has been very different from yours, there are so many lost opportunities and chances that I regret not discerning at the time. But I'm trying to be more present in the present - not my nature, but I'm working on it.

 

Thanks to all you guys who have weighed in here - it's almost like therapy for me. I'm grateful.

 

Well PM, if NYC beckons you, I am more than ready, willing and able to have that "sit down" with you. but I realize I am probably not one of those people on your bucket list. More likely on your FUCK IT list....? But perhaps a NYC meat-n-greet is a nice idea ? Its been mentioned before, but noone was willing to organize the damn thing.

[unsub2O17]

For most of us on this thread, and because it's oh, so nostalgic. And with just a few pronoun changes:

 

 

I'M GLAD I'M NOT YOUNG ANYMORE

From "Gigi" (1958)

(Lyrics : Alan Jay Lerner / Music : Frederick Loewe)

 

 

Poor boy! Poor boy!

Down-hearted and depressed and in a spin

Poor boy! Poor boy!

Oh, youth can really do a fellow in!

 

How lovely to sit here in the shade

With none of the woes of man and maid

I'm glad I'm not young anymore

 

The rivals that don't exist at all

The feeling you're only two feet tall

I'm glad that I'm not young anymore

 

No more confusion

No morning-after surprise

No self-delusion

That when you're telling those lies

He isn't wise

 

And even if love comes through the door

The chance that goes on forevermore

Forevermore is shorter than before

Oh, I'm so glad that I'm not young anymore

 

The tiny remark that tortures you

The fear that your friends won't like him too

I'm glad I'm not young anymore

The longing to end the stale affair

Until you find out he doesn't care

I'm glad that I'm not young anymore

 

No more frustration

No star-crossed lover am I

No aggravation

Just one reluctant reply

"Laddie, goodbye!"

 

The Fountain of Youth is dull as paint

Methuselah is my patron saint

I've never been so comfortable before

Oh, I'm so glad that I'm not young anymore

[BostonPhil]

Well PM, if NYC beckons you, I am more than ready, willing and able to have that "sit down" with you. but I realize I am probably not one of those people on your bucket list. More likely on your FUCK IT list....? But perhaps a NYC meat-n-greet is a nice idea ? Its been mentioned before, but noone was willing to organize the damn thing.

 

Can I come? O:-)

[jjkrkwood]

Can I come? O:-)

 

Only if you PROMISE to cum ! OF COURSE silly !

[BostonPhil]

I'm there!

[Michael Wayne]

65 is not old for a client . In fact down here in south florida it is borderline CHICKEN! LOL

[SteveEscort]

65 is not old for a client . In fact down here in south florida it is borderline CHICKEN! LOL

 

Streets lined with Golden Girls

[jjkrkwood]

Streets lined with Golden Girls

 

Break out the "cheesecake".....