How do you deal with friendship?

[gallahadesquire]

After five years of speaking to an escort, we finally met up, and met intermittently for the next four years. He's involved now, although I'd like to get some closure someday. [You know - see him one last time - preferably with his honey, to make sure he's in good hands!]

 

Now I've found someone that I really like and Id like to have a friendship with him, too. A buddy of mine has suggested taking him out for dinner "off the clock" in addition to hiring him.

 

Escort friends, how do you handle this?

[jjkrkwood]

After five years of speaking to an escort, we finally met up, and met intermittently for the next four years. He's involved now, although I'd like to get some closure someday. [You know - see him one last time - preferably with his honey, to make sure he's in good hands!]

 

Now I've found someone that I really like and Id like to have a friendship with him, too. A buddy of mine has suggested taking him out for dinner "off the clock" in addition to hiring him.

 

Escort friends, how do you handle this?

 

The problem with your post is that it doesnt sound like you are separating the escort and friendship. For a successful "Friendship" (if thats your TRUE motive, which I suspect is Not), the guy must be looked at as an ordinary person. His business activity should have no bearing on your relationship.

 

As for your comment about your "previous" escort/friend, I dont see where its your job to check on him to make sure he's "in good hands". Do you think YOUR hands would be better ???? Dont interfere ! Your motivations for your actions just come off as a bit suspect. (or thats just how it reads).

[robberbaron4u]

You don't. "Escorting" is a business enterprise; if you don't understand the nature of the relationship, that is, love and affection is based on dollars and cents, I assure you the "rentboy" does and he will avail himself of the situation to his advantage. If you can accept that scenario, and, not "boo hoo" when the rentboy "walks", go for it. . .

[jjkrkwood]

You don't. "Escorting" is a business enterprise; if you don't understand the nature of the relationship, that is, love and affection is based on dollars and cents, I assure you the "rentboy" does and he will avail himself of the situation to his advantage. If you can accept that scenario, and, not "boo hoo" when the rentboy "walks", go for it. . .

 

Robber, this is one of the few times I actually Understood you, and agreed Wholeheartedly......

[Bosguy]

I have tried to stay away from this topic for a long time. The FRIENDSHIP issue is between 2 supposedly different groups of people who at this point are in total disagreement as to the viability of such a thing. One group is looking for the the BFE EXPERIENCE as possibly ongoing. The other group is adament about the fact that it is BUSINESS ONLY and there is no such thing.

 

Guess what guys? You're both WRONG. Friendship can and will be a relationship in the proper way between CERTAIN escorts and clients. As a general rule, it does not work, but if there are proper guidelines established and a real, true, real understanding between the 2, a FRENDSHIP outside of sex can happen between 2 mature adults.

 

I have maintained a very close relationship with my GUYS because of the type of people they ARE--not who they are perceived as. I am not what is commonly referred to as one of those wealthy guys, andI'm proud of the fact that there are quality, professional "working guys" out there that this is not their priority, but the fact that there is mutual respect in a relationship.

 

I went through some major health issues and WHO STOOD BY MY SIDE--these caring individuals that some claim are only in it for the money. I still maintain my "friendship" with them and our "escort" times together.

 

Thanks Guys

 

Boston Bill

[doitb4ugo]

I have tried to stay away from this topic for a long time. The FRIENDSHIP issue is between 2 supposedly different groups of people who at this point are in total disagreement as to the viability of such a thing. One group is looking for the the BFE EXPERIENCE as possibly ongoing. The other group is adament about the fact that it is BUSINESS ONLY and there is no such thing.

 

Guess what guys? You're both WRONG. Friendship can and will be a relationship in the proper way between CERTAIN escorts and clients. As a general rule, it does not work, but if there are proper guidelines established and a real, true, real understanding between the 2, a FRENDSHIP outside of sex can happen between 2 mature adults.

 

I have maintained a very close relationship with my GUYS because of the type of people they ARE--not who they are perceived as. I am not what is commonly referred to as one of those wealthy guys, andI'm proud of the fact that there are quality, professional "working guys" out there that this is not their priority, but the fact that there is mutual respect in a relationship.

 

I went through some major health issues and WHO STOOD BY MY SIDE--these caring individuals that some claim are only in it for the money. I still maintain my "friendship" with them and our "escort" times together.

 

Thanks Guys

 

Boston Bill

 

I would ditto what Bosguy is saying....There are a small group of escorts who contact me every so often to see how I am doing....They are not soliciting for time together. I have also recently had both health and personal issues as well which they went out of their way to be helpful and supportive....

 

I think of them as friends.

[jjkrkwood]

Hi robberbaron4u and jjkrkwood,

Btw, Gallahadesquire asked "Escort friends, how do you handle this?". Are you two escorts? If not, then why are you responding? I'm absolutely fine with the fact that you two are responding, but Gallahad didn't seem interested in your opinions.

 

 

Anton, I think you are speaking out of your ass here. You may be an escort, but that doesnt mean yours is the only valuable opinion here, eventhough the question WAS directed at your kind. And Robber was NOT telling anyone what to do, merely advising the OP what he can expect if he chooses to embark on an escort/client relationship outside of payment for sex. Robber has alot of experience with escorts so I feel his opinon shouldnt be dismissed by YOU. This is not a PRETTY WOMAN saga, and you know damn straight that an escort WILL NOT choose to have a friendship outside of the business relationship, unless there is some other motive. Thats not to say there could be an aberation here and there, but it is highly unlikely that will happen, nor has the OP convinced me in his opus that true frienship without sex is what he is really seeking from the man he is obviously infatuated with. And I am sure you know that it is VERY common, and likely for clients to become "attached" to the men they hire. In closing, let me remind you again that this is a site where all comments and opinions should be welcome and respected. The fact that you are a Rentboy does not put you on a pedestal. PEACE

[Bosguy]

Anton, I think you are speaking out of your ass here. You may be an escort, but that doesnt mean yours is the only valuable opinion here, eventhough the question WAS directed at your kind. And Robber was NOT telling anyone what to do, merely advising the OP what he can expect if he chooses to embark on an escort/client relationship outside of payment for sex. Robber has alot of experience with escorts so I feel his opinon shouldnt be dismissed by YOU. This is not a PRETTY WOMAN saga, and you know damn straight that an escort WILL NOT choose to have a friendship outside of the business relationship, unless there is some other motive. Thats not to say there could be an aberation here and there, but it is highly unlikely that will happen, nor has the OP convinced me in his opus that true frienship without sex is what he is really seeking from the man he is obviously infatuated with. And I am sure you know that it is VERY common, and likely for clients to become "attached" to the men they hire. In closing, let me remind you again that this is a site where all comments and opinions should be welcome and respected. The fact that you are a Rentboy does not put you on a pedestal. PEACE

 

Anton ( who I don't even know) is not in the least trying to put himself on a pedestal! Are you really saying that because he is an "escort", he does not have as much a right to his opinion as you? Particularly in an area that affects both people. You are so anti escort, it is disgusting. They deserve the same respect as all others. Remember, none of us is perfect in everyone's eye.

 

Boston Bill

[MiamiLooker]

Anton ( who I don't even know) is not in the least trying to put himself on a pedestal! Are you really saying that because he is an "escort", he does not have as much a right to his opinion as you? Particularly in an area that affects both people. You are so anti escort, it is disgusting. They deserve the same respect as all others. Remember, none of us is perfect in everyone's eye.

 

Boston Bill

 

You don’t think Anton was questioning robberbaron4u’s and jjkrkwood’s right to post their opinions when he posted “Are you two escorts? If not, then why are you responding?”

[bigvalboy]

Wow robber, now see how nice it is when you speak down to the lowly masses. I understood you, and agreed with what you said. To the point and no fluff...I'm lovin it. lol

[bigvalboy]

I'm not getting involved in this gentlemen, a little to heated for my blood at this late hour. But Anton, calm down and read what jj has posted, slowly and carefully. He is 100% right!

[jjkrkwood]

Anton, stop back-peddling and trying to justify your comments. Noone was telling anyone what to do. People were merely offering opinions which differed from yours, and obviously didnt sit well because you think you are Right and you ARE an escort!

There is no right or wrong here. Its just OPINIONS of diff people, and readers can take from it what they want. And just so you know, you dont actually have to write something for your message to come across a certain way. The implications of what you write are loud and clear. You claim to be in favor of free speech and free choice, YET you basically told Robber and I to shut our fucking mouths because our opinions werent asked for.

You may feel entitled HERE because you are an escort and the questions WAS directed at you, but sorry there are other fish in the sea that have opinions. Escorts dont have a lock on a question. GET OVER IT, and follow your own fuking advice, "LIVE AND LET LIVE". I have now given you more time than you are worth.

[jjkrkwood]

You don’t think Anton was questioning robberbaron4u’s and jjkrkwood’s right to post their opinions when he posted “Are you two escorts? If not, then why are you responding?”

 

LOL, thats sooooo funny and sooooo TRUE. People always seem to feel THEY are entitled but YOU arent..... Thats a totally self-centered personality type....

[josephga]

imo you can be friends in the right circumstances. those circumstances are, you no longer pay him and he no longer has sex with you. See if you have any interest in one another after that. then you might be friends. Ive been friends with a few escorts over the years but those friendships never involved me paying them any money nor them having sex with me.

[Rhinestone Cowboy]

Hey Gallahad...welcome to the boards. Sorry that your well-intentioned question has resulted in people ripping you to shreds and dragging your character and intentions through the mud. It happens here, and you shouldn't take it personally. I'm not an escort, but I have had a lot of experience with escorts and have maintained many ongoing friendships with escorts and maintained friendships with escorts while continuing to hire them (for that matter, I sleep with a lot of my friends -- fuckbuddies -- and it IS possible to have friendships and sexual relationships co-exists simultaneously). Despite what others may have you believe, we human beings are not so simple-minded that we can only have one "motive" at a time -- it is entirely within our capacity to have a genuine, respectful, caring friendship with someone who we also enjoy hot sweaty intimate sex with on a regular basis. In fact, in my personal opinion, these relationships have become some of the deepest and most rewarding friendships and sexual partners I have had in my entire life.

 

Your question was simple enough -- you want to maintain a professional relationship with an escort you have just started seeing but think there is a possibility of becoming friends with him outside the bedroom. You are thinking of taking him to dinner, and want to know how other escorts handle that situation when it comes up. It's a great question -- and I hope other escorts weigh in to give you their opinions.

 

I would suggest something other than offering to take the escort to dinner, though. Friendship emerges out of much smaller interactions between two people, and I would suggest you start smaller to try to see whether this escort feels the same way about you. Try sending a short text message relating to something you talked about during a session, or shoot him an email about something you think he might find interesting. If he doesn't respond, then by all means DROP IT and don't stalk him. Respect the fact that he wants to keep it professional. If he responds and seems friendly and engaged in a "non-sexual" dialogue with you -- then great. Maybe you can develop a friendship. Then, during your next session, spend some time talking before or after hopping into the sack. Friendships need to be DEVELOPED. This takes time, and if you don't sense that he is responding as enthusiastically to becoming friends then you need to back off. As you know, true friendship only works if it is mutual. The problem with taking him to dinner (where you pay) is that even if you are "off the clock" you are paying for his meal, and so in some sense you are buying his friendship...which is a professional arrangement (and therefore you are still locked into client/provider roles). Do you pay for all your friend's dinners? Of course not...they wouldn't expect you to. The meaningful friendship you want to have with this escort needs to mutual...i.e. like regular friends. "I'm going to take you out to dinner because I want us to be friends" is a very different proposition than "Do you want to grab a bite to eat sometime? Not as a professional call -- we'll split the tab -- but if you feel like hanging out it would be fun." See the difference? If he says yes to the first offer it's hard to tell whether he REALLY wants to be your friend; if he says yes to the second offer than he clearly enjoys spending time with you as a friend and wants to do so without any expectations.

 

But here's the key: I wouldn't even THINK of proposing the second suggestion unless I already knew the answer would be "Yes" -- and you'll only get a sense of the budding friendship through the smaller gestures and steps to see if he's interested in pursuing a friendship as well. And if he isn't, then absolutely respect his privacy and DON'T pursue anything beyond your professional relationship.

 

Those are my 2 cents. Hope that's helpful. Good luck!!!

[Michael Wayne]

Most of my current friends are former clients who got a bf and don't hire any more.My clients a re great guys with great jobs and winning personalities who I want to be friends with. I also inculcate many aspects of friendship into my sessions HOWEVER ....... a CURRENT client (in my opinion) cannot be a friend at the same time, really? It would be a bit of a stretch, don't yall think? Maybe I am wrong. That has happened once..or twice (lol) Mikey

[jjkrkwood]

I am not exactly sure why all the respondants cant see the TRUE motivation behind the OP's original question? The guy is obviously "smitten" with the escort, and has chosen to use the word "friendship" to decribe the relationship he would like to pursue with the intended, when clearly he is looking for something else. You dont need to take the guy to dinner to discuss being friends. Dinner is symbolic of a date. While you all choose to dismiss the possibility that the OP's post might not be what it seems, you cant deny that many a client has become infatuated with guys they hire, and create scenarios in their minds. Nothing wrong with that, however it would be much easier to advise the OP if his true message were addressed. Although he did address the question to ESCORTS ONLY, surely he could get a better insight from clients who have been in similar situations.?

[jjkrkwood]

Hey JJ,

 

What are you trying to say, that you're a clairvoyant and that you can see inside his head? You also find that "clearly he is looking for something else". You could try to answer the question that actually had been asked. That is, if you are in a position to answer, which I think you're not.

 

Better get over it.

 

Sincerely, Anton.

 

Anton, I am pretty Clairvoyant, and can see that you arent qualified to answer a doorbell, let alone a question, because your attitude suggests that YOU have all the answers and there cant be any other. You make your living "pretending", so I wouldnt put much stock in anything you have to say. But you have as much right to be here and post as I do, so run your mouth as much as you like. And if I dont get over it, your intention is WHAT ????? Dont fuckin threaten me; you aint nearly BIG enough.... Sincerely, JJ

[seeker630]

Anton, I am pretty Clairvoyant, and can see that you arent qualified to answer a doorbell, let alone a question, because your attitude suggests that YOU have all the answers and there cant be any other. You make your living "pretending", so I wouldnt put much stock in anything you have to say. But you have as much right to be here and post as I do, so run your mouth as much as you like. And if I dont get over it, your intention is WHAT ????? Dont fuckin threaten me; you aint nearly BIG enough.... Sincerely, JJ

 

I see no hint of a 'threat' in Anton's reply.

[EZEtoGRU]

Anton, don't waste your energy on this guy.

 

Mr. K, I suggest you watch your language and threatening tone. You come off like a loose cannon. Cool it or the mods will get you.

[jjkrkwood]

I see no hint of a 'threat' in Anton's reply.

 

 

"you better get over it" sounds pretty ominous. I have been shaking since reading it. ;-)

[seeker630]

"you better get over it" sounds pretty ominous. I have been shaking since reading it. ;-)

 

lol. Yes, it's obvious that you're the type who avoids confrontation.

 

I suspect that Anton sometimes doesn't get the English idioms quite right. (No criticism intended)

[jjkrkwood]

lol. Yes, it's obvious that you're the type who avoids confrontation.

 

I suspect that Anton sometimes doesn't get the English idioms quite right. (No criticism intended)

 

Well you know how the Dutch are ? (i assume he is Dutch since he is in the Netherlands). They are most famous for sticking their fingers into Dykes........oh yes, and those wooden shoes.... I guess that qualifies him as an EXPERT on this site...

[seeker630]

Well you know how the Dutch are ? (i assume he is Dutch since he is in the Netherlands). They are most famous for sticking their fingers into Dykes........oh yes, and those wooden shoes.... I guess that qualifies him as an EXPERT on this site...

 

Lately, it seems there is only one 'expert' on this site.

[jjkrkwood]

Lately, it seems there is only one 'expert' on this site.

 

Thank you. LOL, but i dont purport to be an expert on anything. I merely have an opinion, right or wrong, and am very outspoken and should be able to express it without being attacked everytime by the posting Police. I will never force My opinion on anyone, but some guys here will try to bully you into submission..

Just be adults and let everyone have their say. And sending me hate mail only proves how immature some on this site are. Post your comment publicly and let others see what an asshole you are making of yourselves.....Being MEAN girls doesnt look well on mature men.